10 Ways to Accidentally Fall in Love

Chapter 16

Joey

“I’m sorry,” I say slowly, positive I must have misheard. “You want to greet my…tonsils with your what ?”

“Tongue?” Brad answers, not sounding sure.

I take a breath and stand up, feeling dizzy. “Are you… Are you saying you want to kiss me?”

“See, it sounds so much better when you say it,” he mumbles, frowning.

“Bub. Are you serious?”

He winces a little and stands, his hair an absolute mess, the front of his shirt still wet. “I am serious. Would you still want to kiss me ? I know that was a long time ago, and your feelings might have changed since then, but—”

His words cut off when I take his face in my hands. My inhale is shaky, my heart pattering along as I hold Brad’s gaze. His eyes, so very green, are wide open and staring right back at me. There’s no question in my mind.

I don’t know who moves first. Brad tugs my shirt, I back him into the wall, and then my lips are on his and everything is narrowing down to him . The softness of his mouth, his chest bumping mine, his smell, his taste, the sound of his surprise.

“Fuck,” Brad gasps, pulling me closer.

His mouth parts, and I don’t hesitate. I dive in, swallowing down his moan, relishing the way his fingers tighten in my shirt. He’s perfect— perfect —and I’d consume him if I could. I’d take him down my throat, keep a piece of him inside me always.

“Joey,” he breathes, those two syllables spurring me on. His head thunks against the wall when I drop my lips to his neck, sucking on the sensitive skin there. “ Haaah. ”

His fingers find my hair, and I’m back at his mouth, nearly shaking with my want for him. When did this happen? What changed? Is this real? He wants this, right? He’s so sweet. So sweet. God, I’m mauling him. I need to pull back. I need…

Brad’s startled sound has me backing off in an instant, our lips parting with a smack. He looks dazed, his hair in disarray, pink coloring his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” I say, my breath coming short. “Was that too much?”

“No, no,” he answers quickly, his gaze slipping downward. “It’s just, uh… Ho-hooo-ly shit, is that a big hammer you’ve got pressed to my hip.”

I step quickly back, cursing my carelessness. Brad’s gaze stays zeroed in on my crotch, his eyes wide.

“He’s a gregarious fellow, isn’t he?” he says with a nervous laugh. “Just really wanted to pop up and say hello.”

“Sorry,” I repeat, adjusting myself as best as I can.

Brad blinks. “ Hoo ,” he says, seemingly shaking himself loose. He runs his hands through his hair, taming the strands somewhat. “I guess I’m kind of flattered, you know? Just…don’t expect that thing to fit right away. Christ.”

I blink after Brad as he swipes the fallen water glass off the floor, along with his fanny pack, and starts making his way down the stairs.

“You have coffee?” he calls.

I’m not sure I have a single functioning brain cell left after that .

I find Brad in the kitchen, rifling through my cupboards. “Let me,” I say, grabbing the coffee from the pantry. I keep one eye on him as I portion the beans into the blender, my pulse flitting about wildly. He’s looking out the window to the backyard, a contemplative expression on his face.

Once the coffee is ground, I dump it in the filter and turn on the pot. It starts to spit as I face my houseguest, not knowing what to make of his mood or… this . Any of it.

“So, uh,” I say slowly. “What, um…”

“I think I was jealous,” Brad says.

“Jealous?” I ask, my pulse kicking back up.

“Of Logan.”

Oh fuck .

“Um, yeah?” I say.

He nods, still looking out the window. “Here’s the thing. I didn’t like him having your attention, you know? Which is pretty shitty of me, considering I set you up with the guy. But…every time you were looking at him, it pissed me off.”

Oh, God.

“So, uh, the kiss,” I say hoarsely. “Was that because you wanted my attention on you?”

Brad’s head whips my way. “What? No. I wasn’t… I wasn’t trying to manipulate you, Joey. Did it feel like that to you?”

“No,” I say quickly, grabbing a mug from the cupboard. “The kiss didn’t feel fake. I’m just trying to understand what’s going on here, bub. I don’t want to make assumptions.”

I fill up Brad’s mug now that his coffee is ready, the silence stretching painfully in the few seconds it takes before Brad speaks again.

“I don’t have a perfect answer,” he says. “All I know is I understand cum gutters now because of you, and I’m pretty sure I’d like to test yours out if you’d let me.”

The mug of coffee hits the floor, and Brad jumps back, avoiding the spray of liquid that coats the hardwood.

“Oh no,” he mumbles, bending down to grab the miraculously intact mug. “Bad night for drinks.”

“You…you what ?”

Brad looks up at me. “I’m attracted to you, Joey. At least, I’m pretty sure I am. I’ve been having a lot of thoughts.”

“Thoughts about me,” I say weakly.

“Yeah,” he answers, standing up. He hands me the mug, and I get my feet into gear, pouring him a new cup before grabbing a roll of paper towels for the spilled coffee. I wipe up the mess as quickly as I can.

Brad sips his coffee as I wash my hands.

“So, uh, the kiss,” I begin again, my thoughts a jumbled mess. “That was a test?”

His face scrunches. “Not a test, no. More of a…confirmation.”

I think I need to sit down.

I can hear Brad following me into the living room, his footsteps soft. I feel as if I’m rolling. Flipped upside down and lost at sea, unsure of which way is up. When I plop onto the couch, Brad sits beside me.

“I don’t really know how to do this,” he says, voice quiet. “I’ve never been interested in a friend before, let alone a guy. I’m in uncharted territory here. And I don’t even know…I mean… Would you even want to… you know …with me?”

“Yes,” I say immediately.

Brad blows out a breath. “You sure didn’t have to think about that long.”

I slip off the couch and kneel in front of him, my hands on the outsides of his knees. His mouth opens as he looks down at me, his chest rising and falling with his breaths.

“Whatever you’re thinking about? Whatever you want to try? Try it with me.”

“Joey…”

“I won’t put pressure on you,” I tell him seriously. “I won’t push for anything you’re not sure about or ready for. You’re safe with me, and you can explore with me.”

“But what if I end up hurting you?” he nearly whispers.

“Why would you hurt me?” I ask, pressing a trembling kiss to the top of his knee.

He eases out a breath. “Because, once upon a time, you asked me out on a date. And I had no clue. You were in this before I was, Joey, and… And I don’t want to treat you like an experiment because you’re my only single, queer friend.”

I close my eyes, resting my chin on the knee I just kissed. “Would you rather experiment with someone else?”

“No,” he says immediately. His fingers thread through my hair, the touch so soft it hurts. “I don’t… I can’t even… I don’t want anyone else.”

I open my eyes, meeting his gaze. “Then try with me,” I say thickly. “It doesn’t have to be anything more than you’re ready for. I’m not putting expectations on you, bub.”

His brow creases. “So, we’d be…what? Bros with bennies?”

I huff a laugh, hands tightening on his legs. “We can call it that. And if you decide it’s not for you? That’s fine. Sometimes people are just curious.”

The look he gives me is amusingly stern. “Joey Kangaroo, my dude, my guy, I think if the things I’m envisioning you doing while you’re down on your knees are the opposite of off-putting, then I’m not as straight as I thought I was.”

It’s embarrassing how quickly my cock swells at that. I’m almost grateful he can’t see it.

“Besides,” he goes on, leaning forward, the move bringing us closer. “Being queer isn’t the part that scares me.”

“No?” I ask, throat tight. “What scares you?”

“The thought of losing you,” he answers, just about doing me in. “I couldn’t stand to lose you, Joey.”

“Give me a month,” I all but beg. “A month to show you what it could be like. And then, after that, we reevaluate. If things get weird…” I take a breath, expel it. “Then we stop. We don’t risk our friendship.”

He nods slowly, looking lost in thought. I loosen my grip on his knees, inching my hands up his thighs and holding on tight.

“No Logans,” he finally says, a hard edge to his voice. “He was nice and all, but I don’t want you with anyone else. Just me.”

Fuck .

“No one else,” I agree hoarsely.

“And you tell me if I do something weird,” he goes on. “I don’t know what. But if there’s some gay sex line I cross, I gotta know, man. Like, can I lick your nipples?”

My breath puffs out of me. “Mhm.”

He nods. “Okay, yeah. Good. Just be patient with me. I mean, I don’t even know how to take dick, dude. I’m pretty sure I’ll need to stretch a lot first. Like really warm up, you know? Because fuck . Things are tight back there.”

Oh, Jesus .

“You, uh…you’d want to try that?” I ask, pretty sure my voice sounds like gravel by now.

“Yeah, man. I want to try everything with you. Just, uh…maybe we can ease into the masterclass-level stuff?”

“We can definitely take it slow,” I assure him, setting my forehead on his knee.

“You all right?” Brad asks, petting the back of my head.

“Mm.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

“You’re kinda just hugging my legs, Joey-roo. You need a cuddle?”

I stand up, wrapping my arms around Brad’s shoulders and taking him down to the couch. He laughs under me, his arms coming around me tight as I tuck my face against his neck.

“I like this, you know,” he says. “You on top of me. Smothering me. Feels good.”

Fuuuck.

I rub my nose over his skin, breathe him in, nip gently.

“Oh, shit,” Brad whispers. “There’s Greg again, huh?”

I pause, my lips on his neck. “Did you name my dick Greg? As in…gregarious?”

“Yeah?”

“Of course you did,” I mutter, unable to stop my laughter. I pull back enough to see Brad’s face. He’s grinning up at me, looking so damn happy my chest swells like a balloon. “I’m gonna kiss you again. Sound good?”

“I think I can handle that,” he says, lips quirking.

I lean down, catch those lips, soak up his moan.

Slow . I can definitely take things slow. I have a month to prove to Brad he should be mine.

For tonight, I’ll prove I can learn his mouth as well as I know the man himself.

“Let me get this straight,” my cousin says. “Or not so straight, as it were. Bros…with benefits.”

“That’s right,” I answer.

The sound of the miter saw puts a temporary halt to our conversation, but I can feel Iggy’s gaze on me as he waits. Once I hand him the piece of trim I cut, he says, “But you’re half in love with the guy already.”

“So?”

“ So , seems kinda risky, don’t you think? How are you supposed to… cash in on your benefits without feelings getting involved?”

I grab the rest of the boards we cut to size, and the two of us head back into the house we’re remodeling. Even though no one on our crew has an issue with my sexuality, I still lower my voice.

“I don’t expect my feelings to stay out of it,” I tell my cousin. “Not in the least. But there’s no world in which I pass up what Brad is offering. Do you know what kind of courage it takes to come out to someone? He asked me to kiss him, Iggy. No wasn’t an option.”

“Look,” he says softly. “I like the guy. I do. And frankly, he was all over you at the barbecue, so I’m not doubting that his intentions are sincere. I just worry…”

“That he’ll experiment with me and move on?”

“Well, yeah,” Iggy says.

I nod, bending down and lining up one of the trim pieces before hammering it into place. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take. This is brand new for him. It’s a lot to take in and come to terms with. The last thing I want to do is scare him off by asking for forever. You know what he told me?”

“What?” my cousin asks, squatting down next to me.

“He said he didn’t want anyone else, Iggy. Just me. So this means something to him, too. I’m sure of it. The very least I can do is give him a minute to adjust. The rest will come.”

“You sound so sure about him,” he says, the beginnings of a smile forming.

“I am,” I admit. “If there’s one thing I’m sure about, it’s him.”

Iggy shakes his head, but he doesn’t look upset. “I’m not going to say I get it, but I’ll support you. And if Brad breaks your heart, well… Let’s just say he won’t be invited to the next family barbecue.”

I huff a laugh. “How utterly vicious of you.”

“Man, I might look like a pit bull, but you know I’m nothing but a Shih Tzu on the inside, all fluffy and soft.”

“You forgot yappy,” I put in.

Iggy punches me on the shoulder. “Am not, you dick. You know what? I take it back. I hope Brad crushes you.”

“You do not,” I say, motioning for another piece of trim.

Iggy hands one over. “No, I don’t. But I’m not yappy . I enjoy conversation. There’s a difference.”

As Iggy and I finish installing the baseboard on the main floor of the house, my cousin rambling all the while about the difference between talking to someone and talking with them, I can’t help but smile. It’s not that this life is all that much different than the one I had in New Hampshire. I’m still doing the same sort of work, still filling my days with sawdust and the smell of varnish. Still working out in the evenings and watching TV or playing the occasional video game to relax.

But it’s all the in-between that’s so much richer than it was before. My family has grown. The work I’m doing is more fulfilling now that I’m working for people I know and care about.

And, of course, there’s Brad.

Maybe we are just bros. For now.

And maybe being the explorational plaything for a bi-curious man I’m half in love with has the potential to backfire horribly. In theory.

But he asked to kiss me. He asked.

That means something.

So I’m not holding back. Brad wants to confirm his attraction to me?

I’ll give him all the proof he could ever need.