Epilogue
Brad
Four Years Later
“Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming today. I know most of you are here out of the goodness of your hearts. But for those who showed up for the free drinks, the bar is at the back of the room.”
The gathered crowd chuckles, some of them raising wine glasses or cocktails, others smiling, a couple letting out cheers. I smile back before going on.
“So, I have a speech I prepared that I’d like to share with you. And I know, I know. The last time I gave a speech, I got a papercut and passed out. But see? This time I came prepared.”
I wave the laminated paper in the air to another round of chuckles. Taking a small breath to center myself, I run my fingers along the smooth surface.
“Here’s the thing. I had this list I created a while back, right? Over four years ago actually. It was supposed to be about finding myself. About striking out on my own and figuring out what I wanted out of life. Maybe even finding my person. And I did . I did find my person. And, in a lot of ways, I learned more about myself along the way. It’s just that none of it happened like I expected it to. Let me just…let me read it to you, and I think you’ll understand.”
I look down at the laminated sheet I’ve seen a hundred times or more before leaning toward the mic.
“Step one. Make a new friend.” I huff a laugh, eyes meeting the crowd again. “That was Joey. If you know him, which I know you do, you know he’s the easiest guy to befriend. He introduced himself to me at the gym one day, and we just clicked. Granted, he was trying to pick me up, and I had no clue, but it worked out fine in the end.”
More chuckles. More smiles.
“I think about that day a lot,” I admit. “When this guy with warm brown eyes came into my life and I went home feeling hopeful. Excited. Because I’d just made a new friend. Even still, Joey is one of my best friends. He’s one of the best people I know, period. And I’m lucky that he didn’t give up on me back then. If he had, well… Broey might not exist. That’s Brad and Joey, in case it’s not clear.”
There’s some more laughter, and I smile before taking a small sip of my water to wet my throat.
“Step two,” I continue. “Do a good deed. Oh Christ . Okay, so this one is a funny story. Remember that whole Joey thought he snagged a date thing? Well, I felt really bad about that, so I came up with this brilliant plan. To be Joey’s wingman. The best wingman. And, honestly, I think I smashed it. I mean, look at us now.”
Cas snorts, giving me a smile when I glance back. Jason just shakes his head, but he’s smiling, too. Such good dudes .
I focus forward again, my throat a little tight.
“I told Joey I’d find him the one. And I did, in a roundabout kinda way. Which leads me to step three. Try something unexpected. Oh boy. You might want to close your ears for this one, Mama D.”
Joey’s mom laughs from her table not far in front of me, her smile so bright she’s practically glowing. I grin right back, tossing her an air kiss before going on.
“On my journey as a wingman, I set Joey up on several dates. This was before the Broey era, of course. One of those dates happened to be a photoshoot of the… sexy variety. And when Joey’s date didn’t show, well, I stepped in. Which is why there’s now a life-size canvas of the two of us in our underwear on the bedroom wall.”
There are more chuckles at that, and a few rowdy porn stars in the crowd hoot and holler. I shoot them a wink.
“The thing is—I hadn’t realized at that point I had feelings for Joey. It seems so obvious now, but I guess that’s the benefit of hindsight, right? Emotions are complicated. Sexuality, even, is complicated. And, as Joey himself likes to remind me when I point out the two gym-bros in a semi-nude pose above our bed, there’s no one right time or way to understand yourself. It’s an ongoing process. And I appreciate that Joey never once made me feel bad for taking a little longer to clue in to the fact that I wanted to lick him from head to toe and back to head again, if you get what I mean.”
I wince, even as a few people whistle.
“Sorry, Mama D.”
Mama Delgado waves me off, but my cheeks still heat.
“Anyways, that something unexpected turned into a memory I know I’ll carry with me forever. Same with step four. Accomplish a goal. This is a good one. A simple one really, but impactful all the same. Joey and I ran a 5k together. It was…” I let loose a breath. “There was this guy, see? My new friend. Jogging beside me. Helping me finish my first charity run. I think it’s important in life to surround ourselves with people who support us. Those who encourage us and stay by our side. Joey was one of those people from the get-go. Even though… Even though he had feelings for me, he set them aside to be my friend. Incidentally, that was also when I started noticing Joey’s c— ahh . His abs. Which led to a whole lot of gutter-related fantasies that shaped the person I am today. But I’m getting a little bit ahead of myself. Okay, let’s see…”
I search my paper as the crowd laughs.
“Right. Step five. Be brave. This was a turning point. Joey and I had just gone on his date with Logan. Speaking of, where’s Logan and Lewis? Ah! Hey, dudes! Glad you could make it.”
The pair wave back at me, matching grins on their faces.
“So Joey and I went out with Logan. Well, Joey went out with Logan. I was just there. Because I was sorta jealous. And we got back to Joey’s place—just me and Joey, not Logan—and I was trying to work out why it upset me so much to see my new friend on a date with another man. And it was this revelation, right? This lightbulb while we were hugging where I wanted to be… closer . I wanted more from Joey, and I hadn’t realized it until just then. So I did what any presumably straight man would do. I hid behind the garage, called for emotional reinforcements, and then I kissed a guy for the very first time in my life.”
Joey’s cousin Iggy lets out a wolf whistle, and I shoot him a two-finger salute.
“My buddy Cas called me brave on that call. And I wanted to be. So, yes. I went inside and asked Joey to kiss me. And boy did he kiss me. That’s also the moment I met Greg.”
A throat clear has me hurrying along.
“Right. Uh… So that leads into step six. Wade fearlessly into the unknown. I’m just gonna give the CliffsNotes on this one. There was a tool belt. Rubbing wood. Sawdust everywhere . A shower and then getting dirty again. Trust me when I say I learned quite a few new things that day. But the important part was not letting fear stop me. Joey made that easy. He made it safe to leap because I knew he was there to catch me. He’s always there, arms ready. It’s one of my favorite things about him, really.”
I find soft faces in the crowd when I lift my gaze, and I take another sip of water to shore myself up before going on.
“That brings me to step seven. Learn a new self-truth. It was obvious, really, but knowing something and acknowledging it are two different things. That was the point I made peace with my bisexuality. Not that I had any issues with it in the first place. But I was frustrated with myself, in a way, for taking so long to figure it out. Cas would remind me people are constantly changing and sexuality can be fluid, too. Joey would tell me everyone is different and I shouldn’t compare myself to others. And Jason would probably just say I told you so . Which yeah, dude, you did.”
Jason slides down in his chair, trying to hide. Cas gives him a consoling pat.
“But the point is I took what I knew to be true and acknowledged it. And I think that’s a big part of what let me move forward with Joey. Of course, that didn’t go as smoothly as I would’ve liked. Alex, you know what I’m talking about.”
The blonde man perks up. “The blood?” he calls.
“Yeah, man, the damn blood. See, I had this plan to woo Joey. To sweep him off his feet in grand gesture style.”
I wave the laminated paper in the air again.
“But papercut. Remember? So I passed out before I could ask Joey to be my forever and always kangaroo-boo. That’s where step eight comes in. Never give up on your dreams. I planned a final date. A completion of my wingman promise. Because, see, at the time, Joey and I weren’t officially dating. Let’s just say we were like a 401k sans cash but with all the benefits.”
“Get it!” someone in the crowd shouts. I huff a laugh, waiting for everyone’s chuckles to die down before continuing.
“The date I planned was a massive flop, though. I won’t go into the whole thing, but Joey thought I was setting him up with someone else. And that hurt him. Which wasn’t what I wanted in the least. It worked out in the end, once Joey blurted that he loved me, and I was all like, uh, dude, duh, I love you, too. And now we’re here, so win?”
This time, it’s Jason snorting.
“There are always going to be bumps in the road,” I say seriously. “But that doesn’t scare me. Not when it comes to Joey and me. And that’s because of step nine. Follow your heart. No matter what, no matter where life takes us, I’m not afraid of what the future has in store. Because through it all, I’ll have him. Over four years ago, Joey Delgado became a friend. He’s still that. Always will be. But he’s also the love of my life. He’s the person whose smile I wake up to each morning. He’s the one to greet me after a long day with a hug. He’s the one who can settle me with a simple press of his lips to mine. That’s love. That’s what love is capable of. It’s grounding. Reassuring. It’s comfort and safety and that bubbling in your chest that never quite goes away. It’s the reason we’re here today and what led to step ten.”
Letting out a slow breath, I turn in place, facing the table behind me. Joey is already watching me with tears in his eyes. My smile wobbles a little as I trace his features with my gaze. Those brown eyes I love so much. His hair, styled neatly today, and the crisp suit he’s wearing that makes him look impossibly handsome.
“Step ten,” I nearly whisper, the mic still picking up the sound. “Put a ring on it.”
I let out a snort.
“You all know this story. How Joey and I picked out rings at the same time, unbeknownst to each other. How we got the call that they were ready…again, at the same time. How we showed up at the jewelry store, a mere minute separating our arrival. And how, as soon as we realized what was happening, it was a mad dash to drop to our knees right there in front of the display cases.”
I chuckle hoarsely as the crowd laughs behind me.
“I asked Joey to be my husband that day. And he asked me to be his. It wasn’t the proposal either of us had planned, but that’s life. And now, here we are, husbands, celebrating our wedding with our family, friends, and coworkers. So you see?”
I lift up the laminated sheet for our guests again, even as I hold Joey’s gaze.
“This list is quite possibly the best thing I’ve accomplished in my entire life. Because, as it turns out, it was ten ways to accidentally fall in love. And every step led me to you.”
A tear slips down Joey’s cheek, one he quickly wipes away. I let my own fall, not willing to look away from the man who tumbled into my life at the moment I needed him most. The one who loves me for me and always has.
“I thought I was finding myself,” I tell my husband. “But instead, I found you. So here’s to Joey Francis Delgado-Bradley.”
I lift my champagne glass off the table, and behind me, I can hear our guests doing the same.
“To my husband. My gym-bro turned bestie turned partner. My confidant and supporter. My great love. Here’s to a lifetime of bennies and laughter together. I love you, my Joey-roo.”
“Hear, hear,” our guests call out, glasses clinking, people clapping. I touch the lip of my glass to Joey’s across the table before taking a sip, him doing the same.
“Get over here, bub,” he says, standing. I round the table, placing the mic and my laminated list on the end, our guests chatting again now that my toast is over.
“Look,” I tell him cheekily, holding up my unblemished hands. “No blood.”
“You did good,” he says, those big arms coming around me, his fingers sifting up into my hair. “I didn’t know you were going to do that.”
“I still have some surprises up my sleeve.”
“Oh yeah?” he asks. “Anything else I should be aware of?”
“Well,” I say slowly. “I might’ve booked us for a naked body painting workshop during our honeymoon. The paint is edible.”
I waggle my eyebrows, and Joey huffs a laugh. “I suppose now is a good time to admit I scheduled a photoshoot for when we get back.”
“ Nooo . With Gianna?”
“Mhm,” he hums, hands slipping down my back. “She’s coming to our house this time. And I might’ve requested a…carpentry theme in front of the wainscoting.”
“Joey,” I breathe. “Tool belts?”
“Tool belts,” he confirms.
I groan, and he laughs lightly, his lips feathering across my cheek.
“It’s never boring with you,” he says. “That’s for sure.”
“Is that what you’d hoped for? A lifetime of excitement?”
He hums, the two of us swaying slightly as if dancing to a silent beat. “Do you remember what I wished for?”
I think back, his words sparking a memory. “Happiness,” I recall. “On our first non-date date, you said if you could wish for anything, it’d be happiness.”
“I found that with you.”
“Fuck, Joey.”
His eyes catch mine, so full of love I have trouble swallowing.
“Every day with you is my new favorite day, bub. Yes, we have fun. But more than that, you make me so damn happy I have trouble remembering what that word meant before you. You made it something different. Something our own. I’m so unbelievably lucky I get to spend the rest of my days as your husband, sharing that happiness with you.”
My lips tremble as I press them softly to Joey’s, inhaling through my nose, the scent of freshly cut wood—of sawdust—an ever-present familiarity whenever he’s near. I let it settle in my lungs, let him flow through my veins and fill my heart.
It’s strange to think back to the day I met Joey. When I felt like a lone bee in search of some sort of companionship. Turns out I didn’t need a flower at all. My ideal partner came with thick-as-fuck hammies and the perfect kangaroo pouch for me to sink right into, aaand shit. It got weird again.
No worries. Joey’s my man. And he loves me, weirdness and all.
I guess it’s pretty fortuitous I found myself tripping headfirst into accidental love with him. It led us here, didn’t it? Walking down the aisle together. Saying our I dos . Sharing a kiss as husbands.
Fuck . My husband.
A familiar tune has me pulling back with a gasp, Joey’s beautiful brownie eyes smiling back at me.
“ Joe . Do you hear that? It’s our song.”
His lips twitch, and he takes a step away, holding out his hand. “Would you do me the honor of sharing our first dance, bub?”
“Fuck, I love you so much.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Heck yes. Always.”
With smiles on our faces, Joey leads me out onto the dance floor as “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” plays from speakers nearby. We mouth the words as we dance together, our friends and family joining us before long. Jason shoots me a small wink as Cas spins him in place.
Maybe our road to get here was full of twists and turns. But I’m thankful for every single step that brought me closer to Joey.
I married my friend. My kangaroo.
I guess now all that’s left to do is be ridiculously happy together.
Big. Fat. Check.
The End