Chapter 6
The scars on our bodies may have faded, but the wounds on our hearts remain tender, a constant reminder of the price we paid for freedom.
—Ghost Lake by Ava Howell Brooks
She loved the Burning Tree on a June Friday night, especially when a band she loved was playing.
Live music, good friends, cold drinks and a new crop of summer guys.
What more did she need?
She adjusted her skirt—a tad shorter than she was comfortable in—and shifted in the booth she and Nicki favored. It gave them a great view of the small stage inside the tavern as well as of the front door, so they could check out any new arrivals.
Jamie Keller, a friend who went to school with them, brought over their drink order.
“Sorry that took so long,” she said, brushing away a strand of auburn hair that had slipped out of her ponytail. “We are hopping tonight.”
“Looks like it.” Across from Madi, Nicki took a healthy sip from her rum and Diet Coke, the same drink she always ordered.
“Good for business, though,” Madi said. Jamie’s husband, Mark, had taken over running the place from his father. Mark and Jamie owned it now and over the past few years had turned it from a rather disreputable roadhouse to a happening night spot that drew people from several neighboring towns.
Jamie blew out a breath. “A bit too good. I wish I could sit down with you and catch up, but we’re down two servers tonight, so that’s not happening. Grab me if you need another round.”
“We will,” Nicki said.
Nicki usually had two drinks, but Madi’s guilty secret was that she didn’t particularly care for alcohol or any other substances that could impair her thinking. Since that long-ago summer when she was injured, she had spent entirely too much time feeling a vague disconnect between her brain and the rest of her body. Why voluntarily sign up for something else that might impair her cognitive abilities when she already had a brain injury that sometimes did that all on its own?
So on the nights when she and Nicki came to the Burning Tree, she would order one drink and nurse it all night, mixing it up with sparkling water or a Dirty Diet Coke if she needed a little caffeine jolt.
She was glad she had come. For weeks, she had been pouring every ounce of her energy into her final days at the vet clinic and going through all the necessary steps to make the animal rescue operational.
She loved what she did, but sometimes a girl only needed to kick back with her friends and enjoy being young, relatively healthy and completely unattached.
“What about those two over there?” Nicole gestured to two athletically built blond guys a few years younger than they were, with the tanned faces and raccoon eyes that proclaimed to the world that they spent most of their days outside wearing sunglasses or ski goggles.
“I don’t know. They seem kind of self-absorbed. The shorter one keeps checking himself out in the mirror above the bar.”
“I’ll take that one. You can go for the taller one who looks like Austin Butler.”
“Eh. I don’t know.”
Nicole frowned and sipped at her drink. “It’s already the second Friday in June. Before you know it, the season will be over.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s barely even summer. We still have snow in some of the higher elevations.”
“I know, but you know how short the season is.”
Since returning to Emerald Creek after she finished school as a veterinary technician and Nicole earned her nursing degree, she and Nic had fallen into a comfortable pattern. In the winter, they each tended to date ski instructors or ski patrol guys, who were only there for a few months until the weather warmed again. In the summer, they went for the guys who spent those warm months guiding fishing excursions or river rafting expeditions in the area.
Neither of them was interested in anything serious at this stage in their lives. The guys certainly didn’t seem to mind. At the end of each season, it was easy for them to say goodbye when they inevitably moved away again, on to their next adrenaline fix.
Madi hadn’t dated anybody for nearly a year. Over the winter, she had been too busy working through all the details of the animal rescue to devote much energy to anything else, much to Nic’s frustration.
Madi had promised her friend she would put in more effort during the summer. She didn’t want to admit it to Nic, but casual dating sometimes seemed like so much work, trying to be bright and funny and attractive all the time. These days she was finding she would much rather expend her energy toward working on the sanctuary’s social media presence or writing another grant.
“I’m going to go talk to them.” Nic smoothed a hand over her hair, checked out her own reflection in the mirror above the bar and headed in the direction of the two guys.
They looked pleased to talk to her. Why wouldn’t they be? Nicole was gorgeous. She was tall, slender, with the same wavy dark hair and blue eyes as her brother. She certainly didn’t have a mouth that only smiled halfway or a curled hand or a stammer that sometimes came out of nowhere.
“What are you doing here by yourself?”
She turned her attention away from the stage, ready to rebuff some overeager cowboy, and was shocked to find Luke sliding across from her, a froth-topped beer in his hand.
“Enjoying the music.” She raised her voice slightly to be heard. “I have to say, I’m surprised to see you. I never expected you to really come out with us.”
He shrugged. “I enjoy live music as much as the next guy. Also, I believe I was ordered to come so I can be your designated driver.”
“I was teasing. I usually only have one drink over three hours. I doubt that will leave me too impaired to drive.”
“You never know. You’re small enough that even a tiny amount of alcohol probably hits you harder than two or three would for me.”
“Possibly.”
She never considered herself small in stature, but she supposed compared to the tall Gentry siblings, she was a shrimp.
The band switched to one of her favorites, a ballad that had been their first single release and had gone on to hit the local charts.
The song always struck a chord with her, about lost innocence and misplaced trust. While the song was about a romantic relationship, for some reason it made her think of her father, which always made her throat feel tight and her eyes burn.
“Want to dance?” Luke asked.
The question came completely out of the blue. To her startled dismay, she felt her cheeks heat and was grateful for the dim lighting inside the Burning Tree.
Why would she have such a reaction? Luke was her friend. She had known him for more than a decade and was close to everyone in his family, including his daughter.
Yes, he was technically her boss but only for a few more weeks. Luke had never really felt like her boss anyway, more like a friend she was lucky enough to work with. Even at the clinic, theirs had always been more of a brother-sister relationship.
Maybe that was why the idea of dancing with him seemed...odd.
That was silly. They could certainly dance to one song together without things getting weird. Right?
“Sure,” she said, rising before she could overthink things. “I would love to dance.”
He looked surprised, as if he hadn’t expected her to agree, but rose as well and held out his hand to her. After a moment’s hesitation, she took it.
His skin was warm, his hand strong in hers. He smelled of leather and rain-drenched pine needles.
Had she ever danced with him? Yes, she remembered. Three years earlier at his brother Owen’s wedding. It had been one of those organic things, everyone dancing with everyone else, though, and he had only been a year out from losing Johanna, so she hadn’t thought anything of it.
The band’s slow, sweet notes swirled around the dance floor, where a dozen other couples already moved together, including Nicki and her clearly besotted river guide, who looked as if a genie had popped out of his beer bottle and granted him his fondest desire in the form of a tall, dark-haired nurse with vivid blue eyes.
This was not a good idea, Madi thought. For one wild instant, she wasn’t sure where to put her hands. Around his neck, like Nic was doing? That seemed far too intimate under the circumstances.
He solved her quandary by placing one hand at her back and using the other one to grip her fingers.
He was a good dancer. She wasn’t sure why she was so surprised. Luke was athletic and strong. She had worked with him for years and had seen him outmuscle even the most obstinate of patients.
Still, the graceful way he moved across the dance floor left her feeling awkward and ungainly in contrast.
“So,” he said, gesturing toward his sister. “Looks like Nic has picked her summer guy. What about you?”
She looked over at her friend, who was now resting her head on the guy’s considerable chest.
“Not yet.”
“What’s stopping you?”
She frowned, not liking that she was so predictable to him. Maybe she had fallen into a lazy pattern. “I’ve been so busy, I barely had time to come to the Burning Tree tonight. I don’t know if I have the energy right now to put into a relationship, even a casual one.”
“You can’t devote your entire life to the sanctuary. That’s not healthy.”
“So says the man who has done nothing but work since the day he returned home to practice veterinary medicine in Emerald Creek.”
“That’s different.”
“Why is it different?” she asked, genuinely confused.
“Maybe it’s not that different,” he conceded. “We’re both passionate about what we do. But I have the added complication of Sierra, trying to fill the role of both parents for her.”
“That’s true. Lucky for you, she’s a good kid.”
“Fingers crossed that continues. She’s only thirteen. Or she will be next week, anyway. I’m afraid I’m not out of the woods yet.”
“You don’t have to worry about Sierra. She’s amazing.”
“She misses her mom so much sometimes,” he admitted. “It breaks my heart.”
She had always liked Johanna, though they had never been precisely friends. The other woman had been a professional as well, a physical therapist with a busy career working out of the regional hospital and in her own practice.
It had been through her work that she caught COVID-19 in the early days of the pandemic, before much information was known about the virus. Johanna’s underlying medical diagnoses of both asthma and type 1 diabetes had led to complications and she had spent two horrible weeks in an intensive care unit in Boise before succumbing to the disease.
That had been such a horrible time for all of the Gentry family. Luke had seemed...numb for a long time and Madi’s heart ached when she remembered how devastated Sierra had been at her mother’s death.
As Madi had lost her own mother when she was twelve, that shared experience had helped cement her close relationship with his daughter.
Did he still grieve his wife? she wondered. Most of the time, he seemed fine. Kind, generous, well-adjusted. Maybe he was hiding his pain on the inside.
Was that why Luke never dated, at least as far as she could tell? Maybe his heart was too scarred to ever think about letting another woman in.
The idea left her depressed, somehow.
“Sierra is fine,” she said to him. “She’s turning thirteen. In a few years, she’ll be driving, and a few more after that, she’ll be heading off to college.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“I’m only saying you should think about getting out there.”
His shoulder suddenly felt tight beneath her hand.
“If by out there, you mean the dating scene, I’m not interested in something meaningless.”
“That’s your word, not mine. Why does it have to be meaningless?”
He gave her a long look she didn’t quite understand. “It just would be.”
Before she could answer, the song ended and the band moved into a more up-tempo song. She thought Luke would lead her back to their table. Instead, he seemed content to continue their conversation on the dance floor.
He had moves, she had to admit. How long had it been since he really let loose?
“We should work on finding you someone this summer. What about that nice new nurse from Colorado who works at the hospital with Nicki? Vanessa something.”
“Vanessa Perkins. I’m afraid she’s not available.”
“Did you already try to ask her out?”
“No.”
“Then, how do you know she’s not available?”
He gave her an amused look. “Because last Friday on your afternoon off, I treated her little Yorkie for an ear infection. Vanessa brought him in along with her girlfriend, Courtney, who works at the Topaz Trail Hotel. They are recently engaged, brimming over with wedding plans.”
“Oh. Well, that’s too bad. But still. I’m sure there’s someone out there for you. What about Janie Carlton?”
As the music ended, she angled her head toward a woman with short, streaky blond hair sitting with a couple of girlfriends in a corner booth. “You two have a lot in common. She’s a single mom, too. I guess her son must be with her mom or her ex.”
“Janie is very nice and so is her French bulldog, Alexander. But I’m not in the market, Mad. For either a relationship or for a French bulldog,” he said as they returned to their table.
“If I had to choose, I would pick the French bulldog,” his sister offered with a grin, reaching the table at the same time.
“Would you? You seem to be getting along well with the muscled raccoon over there.”
She didn’t seem offended. “He does have the look, doesn’t he? It’s all those hours spent in the hot sun. It’s hard to get a good tan when you’re hiding behind sunglasses all the time.”
She slid into her chair across from them and reached for a healthy sip of her drink. “I have to say, I’m surprised and happy you decided to leave your cave and join us. Where’s my favorite niece?”
“Sleepover. Her friend Zoe Sullivan is going to stay with her dad for the summer, so the girls wanted to have one last blast before the big separation. As if they won’t be FaceTiming and texting all day, every day, anyway.”
“Does the muscled raccoon have a name?” Madi asked. “You two seemed to be hitting it off.”
“We were. We are. His name is Austin Yates and he’s super cute. He and his buddy Ryan O’Connor are both grad students in the Seattle area. He’s from Canada. Vancouver. This is their second year as river guides. Last year, they both worked over in Jackson Hole, but this year, they wanted a change and wanted to go somewhere less touristy. I told him my friend thinks his friend is cute.”
“Do I?” Madi asked with a laugh. Luke, she noticed, didn’t seem to find the conversation amusing.
“Ryan ordered another round at their table, so I told them to join us as soon as they have their drinks.”
Again, she saw Luke didn’t look particularly thrilled at this. They were at a large table with room for six, but she could see where he might feel like the third wheel. Or fifth, in this case.
She didn’t want him to feel awkward, especially after she had basically dragged him out of his house to join them.
“Sorry,” she murmured.
He shrugged. “I expected it. I know how you two operate. Would you rather I get lost?”
“Don’t be silly,” his sister said. “It’s a big table. We want you to stay, don’t we, Mad?”
“Sure,” she answered. A moment later, the two came over, with Austin carrying a pitcher of beer.
Nicole quickly made introductions and Madi held her breath, waiting for either of the guys to grimace or otherwise react negatively to her half-frozen smile. Meeting new people always made her anxious until they became used to seeing her features that were a little...off.
Neither Ryan nor Austin seemed to blink as Nicole quickly made introductions. Before Madi knew it, she was chatting with the taller of the guys. Ryan.
He seemed smart and funny, a native Washingtonian and a journalism grad student, with aspirations of being the next Norman Maclean. He was only a few years younger than she was, Madi learned, and was deeply inquisitive about the area.
“There’s so much history here,” he said, after they had spoken at length about the community and some of their suggestions for points of interest to see while he was in town.
“I find it so fascinating, especially since I’m reading a book set in this area. Or at least in the mountains near here.”
Madi instantly tensed. “Are you?”
“Yes. Are you a reader?”
“I listen to audiobooks more than read,” she admitted. She did not tell this perfect physical specimen that reading for too long gave her a headache. “Right now I’m listening to a suspense novel about a bunch of people trapped on a cruise with a killer.”
“Oh, I think I’ve seen that one advertised. It looks great.”
“It is so far,” she said. “I’m about halfway through and it was hard to come out to the Burning Tree tonight instead of staying home to listen to my book.”
She purposely didn’t ask what he was reading, because she didn’t want to know. He answered the unspoken question, anyway. “I just started that book everyone has been talking about. Ghost Lake. That book is intense! Have you heard about it?”
Madi didn’t dare risk a look around the table at Luke and Nicki.
“I’ve heard of it,” she said, desperately searching for a change in topic.
“What do you like about it?” Luke asked, deliberately prolonging the conversation. She wanted to smack him.
Ryan’s features lit up as if he were a teenage boy talking about the latest Marvel movie. “The suspense. I mean, you know the girls must have survived. At least one of them did so she could write the book. But man. What they went through was straight-up brutal. And it all happened not far from here, right? Amazing that there was a whole survivalist cult living in the mountains for months and nobody knew about it.”
“People knew,” she said, before she could stop herself. Even she could hear the bitterness in her voice.
“Then, why didn’t people do anything about it? Why didn’t anybody help them?”
She had no answer to that. After a brief, awkward silence, Luke spoke up. “People in town knew they were up there. It’s hard to miss a pop-up community of that size. They were living on private land but certainly within sight of several groomed snowmobile trails that were used as fire roads in the warmer months.”
Madi shivered, despite the overheated bar. Luke noticed. His eyes sharpened and he placed a hand on hers, beneath the table, for only an instant, providing comfort and support. Warmth seeped back through her and she picked up her drink and took a bigger gulp than she usually might.
“According to the book, they were heavily armed and practicing commando maneuvers,” Ryan said, his features incredulous. “Didn’t that raise red flags?”
“This is Idaho,” Luke said quietly. “Like other states in the West, many people are heavily armed. They were survivalists, but that’s not unusual here, either. The few people from the Ghost Lake Survival Coalition who had contact with the local community seemed harmless, on the rare occasions someone would come to town for supplies. Polite, well-spoken. No one knew exactly what they were doing or that children were in jeopardy, or I can promise they would have been stopped earlier.”
“Can we talk about something else, please?” Madi said abruptly. She was here to let off steam, not to be thrown back into the hellscape of her memories.
Unfortunately, something in her voice drew Ryan’s attention and he gave her a long, intense perusal. “Madi. Nicole said your name is Madi but she didn’t say your last name. That wouldn’t be Howell, would it?”
She said nothing, wanting him and his raccoon friend to simply go away now.
His eyes widened. “You’re the girl from the book. The younger sister. So you survived!”
“Spoiler alert,” Nicki said, her voice dry.
That damn book. She couldn’t get away from it, no matter where she went, not even a night hanging out with friends listening to a live band at the local night spot.
If she were interested in a summer fling, Ryan O’Connor would have had potential. He was cute, smart, fun. What more did she want?
Not now. She could imagine few things worse than a summer filled with curious questions about her experience up in the mountains with the Coalition.
She didn’t even want to endure the rest of the evening with him now.
Fortunately, the band started playing again, one of their most popular tunes, and the rowdy crowd in the bar stomped its collective boots and whooped in delight. Soon the small dance floor started to fill.
“Come on, Austin. Let’s go.” Nicole saved the day, as best friends do, by grabbing the other guy’s hand and tugging him out of the booth. “Madi, you and Ryan should dance, too. This song is great.”
Glad of the distraction, Madi jumped up. Ryan basically had no choice but to follow her as she hurried toward the front of the stage and the speakers, where the music was so loud there was little possibility of a conversation.
They danced through that song and the next two, all of them raucous party songs, until she was breathless and damp. When the band started up a slower number, Madi headed to the bar, where she asked Mark Keller for an ice water that she carried back to their table.
Luke was still there, she saw. He was sipping at a beer and tapping his toe.
Ryan grabbed a seat across from him. Madi sipped at her ice water, then set it back down on the table. “Thanks for the dances, Ryan, but I need to run.”
“You can’t leave! The band said they have another hour to play.”
“It’s been a long day and I’ve got to work tomorrow, I’m afraid. Sorry. My boss is a bit of a tyrant.”
Luke, the most easygoing employer she could possibly want, merely rolled his eyes, but Ryan didn’t appear to notice. His features filled with disappointment.
“That’s too bad. I would have loved the chance to talk to you more about Ghost Lake.”
Which was exactly why she was leaving, Madi thought. “Maybe another time,” she said, though she meant never.
He frowned. “I thought Nicole said you worked at a vet’s office. They’re open on Saturday?”
Caught in the lie, her gaze met Luke’s. To her vast relief, he swept in to save her.
“Not usually, but we do have to work tomorrow morning. I’ve got to go vaccinate some new lambs on a local sheep farm. I’m afraid I can’t possibly do it without Madi’s help.”
Ryan looked between her and Luke. “He’s your boss? The tyrant? But you were dancing with him.”
“I guess we caught him on a good night,” she said.
“Right. Get a beer in me and I’m almost human,” Luke said.
Madi wanted to hug him for rescuing her. “It was really great to meet you, Ryan,” she lied.
“I’ll be around all summer. I’d love to get together again. You’re a great dancer, plus I would love to hear more details about Ghost Lake!”
Yeah. Right. That was absolutely the last thing she wanted to do. In fact, she would now do her best to avoid Ryan O’Connor for the rest of the summer. Too bad, too. Not only was he great-looking but he was a good dancer and he liked to read. That normally would have been a huge mark in his favor.
That stupid book.
“I’m sure I’ll see you around. Nic is my roommate and best friend, and it looks like she and your pal Austin are getting along great.”
The two of them, she saw, were dancing close together and seemed extremely chummy. She had a feeling she would be seeing plenty of Austin over the next few months, until the leaves started to change.
“Are you sure I can’t give you a ride home?” Ryan asked.
She held up her keys. “I’ve got my own car. I’m good. You stay and have fun.”
“I feel like I should at least walk you to your car.”
“I’m leaving, too.” Luke slid his chair back. “I can walk her out. I think we’re parked next to each other.”
Oh hurray. She owed her tyrant of a boss big-time. She could imagine Ryan following her out to the parking lot. Something told her he was not the kind of guy who would let go of a topic of conversation, especially when it interested him.
Nicole and Austin returned to their table, their hands entwined. Her friend looked at Madi, holding her clutch that was only big enough for her phone, her keys, a couple of mints and maybe a tube of lipstick.
“You’re taking off?”
“Yes. Headache. Plus, work tomorrow. Good thing we drove separately tonight, isn’t it?”
Nicole looked as if she wanted to argue but something in Madi’s expression must have told her it was futile. She finally shrugged. “I’ll cover your one measly drink.”
Luke shook his head. “We can settle up with Jamie on our way out.”
After they paid for their drinks, she and Luke walked together out to the parking lot. The June evening air smelled of pine and sagebrush. A cool wind blew out of Emerald Canyon and Madi shivered, wishing she had thought to bring a jacket. She should have. She certainly knew evenings here in the mountains turned cold once the sun went down.
“Thanks for the save,” she said as they neared her SUV. “Multiple saves, actually. Do I really have to go vaccinate sheep with you tomorrow? I’ve got a full day planned at the rescue.”
“You don’t have to. But I could use the help. It’s easier with two people. Tomas will be out of town and Carly has a bridal shower for her cousin. I was planning on Sierra’s help. Maybe I can drag her away from her sleepover early enough to come with me.”
She sighed. She owed him, even if he hadn’t come to her rescue that evening. “I’ll do it, if we can get it out of the way early in the morning. I’ve got new volunteers coming in the afternoon for training.”
“Fine with me. Should we say seven?”
She did a quick mental calculation. “Let’s make it eight so I can feed the hordes.”
“Okay.”
She opened her SUV door. Before she could slide inside, Luke leaned down.
His scent, masculine and clean, brushed against her again at this close proximity. He must have shaved before going out on the town, she realized, as his late-afternoon shadow was gone. Was it his aftershave that smelled so good?
Whatever the cause, Madi inhaled deeply, hoping he didn’t notice.
“So. Ryan O’Connor. He seems pretty smitten. Will he be your summer guy?”
She released her breath. “Highly doubtful, unless I want to spend all summer trying to avoid the subject of Ava’s stupid book.”
He raised an eyebrow. “It’s not a stupid book. You know that, right? It’s beautifully written and very gripping.”
She stared at him, feeling as if the car door had somehow slammed into her gut. Beautiful? Gripping?
“How would you know that?” she demanded. “Surely you haven’t read Ghost Lake, have you?”
She suddenly wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer to that question.