15 Summers Later

Chapter 22

As we navigate the terrain of freedom, we carry with us the lessons learned in captivity, using them as compass points to guide us toward a future sculpted by choice, love and the unwavering support we found in each other.

—Ghost Lake by Ava Howell Brooks

She was so tired, she wanted to close her eyes right here, lean her cheek against the worn seat of her grandfather’s old pickup truck and sleep for a week or so.

Even as the truck bounced around on the washboard dirt road, jostling her against the door again and again, she wanted to sleep.

Had it really been that morning when she found out for certain she was expecting? The day felt as if had lasted an eternity.

Now that she knew she was expecting a baby, her mental and physical exhaustion of the past few weeks seemed far more understandable. Growing a baby was tough work. At least she wasn’t suffering from some autoimmune condition like chronic fatigue syndrome or Lyme disease.

She remembered again telling Cullen she was pregnant. That brief, wild moment of joy. Whatever else he might be feeling about her right now, she knew that instinctive response had been genuine. He had truly been happy about the news, until he remembered that while he might want a child, he wasn’t as certain he wanted Ava along with the baby.

How could she fix things? She did not have the first idea. She couldn’t go back and change their history. She had made a decision to bifurcate her past, to, as he put it, curate what she told him into shareable and unshareable information.

She couldn’t blame him for feeling as if he had married a stranger, though her initial reaction when she first realized he was upset about all the things she hadn’t told him had been hurt and anger.

He loved the woman she was now. Why couldn’t that be enough? Why did he have to know every single detail of her life?

As she thought about it, however, his reaction made more sense. How would she feel if he had withheld huge chunks of his life from her, especially if those details had undeniably shaped him?

She couldn’t go back and live that time over.

If she had known her decision to stay quiet about their time at Ghost Lake would have such chilling ramifications for her marriage, she still wasn’t sure she would have been able to tell him everything.

She did know she would never have finished the book for her master’s thesis and certainly never would have allowed her advisor to read it and subsequently to submit it to contacts in the publishing industry.

Every choice had consequences, ripple effects that expanded out to impact others, whether intended or not.

If that drunk driver hadn’t killed her mother. If her father had never met the Boyle brothers and been drawn into their twisted ideology. If Clint had only stopped to consider that all their choices had been taken away as soon he moved them to Ghost Lake.

She sighed, shifting on the old truck bench to find a more comfortable position.

“How are you doing?” Madi asked.

“I’m fine.” She actually was. Right now, at least, it wasn’t a lie. The nausea had faded. Even the bumpy road did not seem to be impacting her dicey stomach.

“I told Luke I would drop you off at Leona’s first, before I meet him at the clinic to help him take care of the dogs.”

“Don’t be silly. It’s out of your way. I can walk from the clinic. It’s only a few blocks.”

“I know, but you’ve already had a long and stressful day. I can see you’re exhausted.”

“It’s fine. I can make it a little longer. I want to make sure Gracie and her friend are settled for the night.”

If Madi was surprised at her concern for the dogs, she didn’t show it.

“Luke has turned into a good veterinarian, hasn’t he?” Ava said.

“The best. He’s an excellent vet.”

“And a good man,” Ava said.

“Yes. That, too.”

Madi kept her gaze on the road but Ava thought she saw an odd expression cross her sister’s features.

She narrowed her gaze. Was there something going on between Luke Gentry and Madi? She knew Madi was close with all the Gentrys and that Luke had been a mentor of sorts to her. Leona had told her how much Luke had helped Madi start the shelter and about the many volunteer hours of veterinary care he donated to help the animals.

She knew all that. But was there something else? She had seen them hug after they finished loading up the vehicles. It had seemed more than a hug between friends.

It seemed a departure for her sister. Madi liked to date with the seasons. Living in Portland, Ava didn’t see her pattern firsthand but she had heard about it, both from Madi herself and from Leona.

In winter, she tended to date guys in town for the ski or snowmobile seasons. Summer brought trail guides or river rats. From what Ava understood, Madi at least chose nice guys, but none of the relationships were particularly serious, with the kind of guys who would stick around.

She was quite certain that was the idea, at least as far as Madi was concerned.

Luke would be an entirely different level of relationship.

Their lives were so intertwined.

How would all those other relationships—Nicole, Sierra, Tilly—be impacted if Madi and Luke formed a relationship? And what if it didn’t work out between them? The awkwardness and discomfort for both of them would be monumental.

On the other hand, Ava couldn’t deny they made an adorable couple. She thought of Luke’s watchful concern for Madi, his careful mentoring, his support of the animal rescue. He really was perfect for her sister, if only Madi could recognize it.

What could she do to push them together? Should she even try, when she wasn’t in a particularly good place right now to be optimistic about other people’s relationships, given what a mess her own marriage was in?

“Thanks again for your help tonight,” Madi said as she pulled up to the clinic. Luke wasn’t there yet, as he had been behind them. “A rescue wasn’t exactly what we had planned for our evening’s entertainment but we couldn’t have done it without you.”

“I’m glad I was there,” she said.

There had been something infinitely rewarding about knowing they had saved two dogs, animals that likely would have suffered an unfortunate fate in conditions for which they were ill-equipped.

She knew how that felt.

“I’m not sure I could have made it down into that dark hole, even if I weren’t pregnant,” she said quietly to her sister. “You were remarkable. You are remarkable.”

Madi gazed at her in consternation. “Okay. Are you sure you didn’t bump your head out there on the trail? Or maybe you’re delirious with dehydration.”

Ava frowned. “I’m not concussed or delirious. Only...honored to be your sister.”

Madi looked stunned. Before she could reply, Luke pulled up beside them. Madi seemed as grateful for the distraction as Ava was.

With a last baffled look at her, Madi hopped out of the truck and headed over to help Luke unload the animals.

“I can help you carry the crate with the border collie.”

“That’s probably the safest way to move him. Good idea,” Luke said to Madi.

“Ava, can you help with Gracie? She seems to like you. She’ll probably need to find a patch of grass after all that water they drank up in the mountains.”

Before Ava quite realized what was happening, Madi had attached a leash to the corgi’s collar and handed the end to Ava.

“Hi again,” she said to the dog.

As Madi and Luke carried the crate into the clinic, the corgi growled after them.

“It’s all right. He’s not going anywhere. You can stay together,” she promised.

As if she understood, the dog licked Ava’s hand, then waddled on her short legs to the grass.

Ava found it deeply touching when the corgi returned to her side for reassurance before going out to the grass again.

You don’t like dogs, remember?

It was hard to keep that in mind when she was facing this brave, loyal little thing who had stayed by her friend’s side under harrowing conditions.

Ava hadn’t been as loyal to her sister. After she received a full-ride scholarship offer to attend college in Oregon, Ava had only been too quick to leave Madi behind with their grandmother.

Madi had seemed to settle into the rhythm of life here in Emerald Creek in a way that Ava never had. Ava had been happy to leave Emerald Creek and the nearby mountains that held so many hard memories.

She was even happier when she’d met Cullen as she was finishing her graduate degree.

Gradually her visits back to visit Leona and Madi had trickled to maybe once a year for the holidays.

She knew she had stayed away mostly out of guilt. She hated that Madi hadn’t achieved her own dream of becoming a veterinarian. Seeing her sister struggling with words or unable to complete a task because of her physical limitations made Ava want to weep.

She was the older sister and it had been her job to watch out for her sister. Ava had never considered it a burden. She had adored Madi from the day her parents brought her home from the hospital and had always been so very grateful to have her for a sister.

She had failed her sister in so many ways. Watching Madi struggle now only reinforced that.

The dog seemed to be done with her business. She sat at Ava’s feet, gazing up at her with an expectant look. Yet one more creature who needed something from her that Ava didn’t know how to give.

Gripping the leash, she walked into the veterinary clinic. It smelled of lemons, with an underlying scent she couldn’t identify. Maybe it was fear hormones excreted by all the creatures who didn’t want to visit the vet, no matter how kind Luke might be.

We’re in the back, Madi texted her. You can come back when Gracie is done.

She pushed through a door by the receptionist desk and found herself in a hallway with various small exam rooms leading off it.

Gracie, apparently now scenting her friend, tugged at the leash, leading her toward a door at the end of the hallway. It didn’t take great detective work to figure out that was where Madi and Luke must be, since it was the only space in the closed veterinary clinic where a light burned. She followed the dog’s waddling steps and pushed open the door, where she found a large, clean exam suite.

Madi looked up from helping Luke, who seemed to be giving a couple of shots to the dog.

“Thanks for taking care of her.”

“Where shall I put her?”

“She needs a bath and a good brushing to get out all the burrs and brambles and ticks, but I’m afraid she’ll have to wait while we take care of her buddy here,” Madi said. “It’s a triage thing. The neediest has to go first. There’s a crate over there you can put her in until we can get to her.”

The dog had been so very valiant, never abandoning her friend even when things seemed dire. Ava scratched her head and was rewarded by Gracie licking her hand.

Already regretting the impulse, she turned and faced her sister. “I could give her a bath and start brushing her out.”

Madi stared. “Really?” she said, a world of doubt contained in that single word.

She shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”

“Because you’re preg—” Her voice trailed off and she sent a guilty look toward Luke.

“It’s okay,” she answered. “He already knows. He guessed I was pregnant before I did.”

Luke smiled. “I didn’t know for sure until now. Congratulations!”

“Thank you.”

“Okay. Pregnant or not, you’ve been wonderful with her so far but I know you’re not a big fan of dogs.”

“I’m fine with smaller dogs. It’s the big, slavering kind I don’t like. Gracie wouldn’t hurt me. Would you, sweetheart?”

The corgi wagged her tail and Madi looked shocked.

“If you’re sure, that would be really helpful,” Luke said.

“There’s shampoo next to the tub there, as well as towels and scissors for cutting out the burrs. Cutting them out is probably easier and less painful in the long run than trying to pull them out one by one.”

She nodded and gripped the dog’s leash more tightly. She had no idea why she had volunteered, but it was too late to back down now.

“Come on, Gracie. Let’s get you into the tub and then we’ll find you some dinner.”

The dog followed along, clearly trusting Ava to take care of her.

She could do this, she told herself. How could she be expected to take care of a child if she couldn’t even manage bathing a dog?