15 Summers Later

Chapter 33

Days blur into nights, and our strength is tested in ways we never imagined.

—Ghost Lake by Ava Howell Brooks

The trust Madison Howell had in him was as remarkable as it was humbling.

Luke drove toward the Sawtooths, more aware with every passing mile of her hand curled inside his. He could no longer avoid the overwhelming truth.

For the second time in his life, he was in love and the reality of it scared the hell out of him.

He had loved Johanna and had grieved the loss of her for four long years. He had told himself he would never let himself be vulnerable to that kind of loss and pain again.

But when his sister had texted him, saying only that Madi needed his help, he was fairly certain he had stopped breathing for a full minute while he waited for her to answer his call.

In that moment, he had accepted the truth that had been hovering at the edge of his subconscious for months now, nudging at him to wake up and pay attention.

This thing between them was not a passing, somewhat inconvenient attraction.

He was in love with Madison Rae Howell.

As the truth soaked through him like that rain outside soaking into the ground, he knew that he had been in love with her for a long time but hadn’t wanted to see it.

Maybe he hadn’t been ready before now to admit it to himself that the affection and friendship he had for her since that day fifteen summers ago had gradually begun to shift and grow into something else. Something more.

Madi was strong and courageous and amazing. She was the only one who couldn’t seem to see that in herself.

He squeezed her fingers now and she gave him a small, uncertain smile.

How did she feel about him? He wasn’t completely sure. She kissed him with a tenderness and passion that took his breath away. But her pattern was dating a different guy every few months. Maybe he was only the flavor of the summer for her.

No. He was suddenly sure this thing between them was bigger than that.

He wanted to tell her how important she had become to him, but he knew this wasn’t the time. Right now, her focus had to be on her sister and Ava’s heartbreaking loss.

Still, he didn’t release her hand and was grateful that she seemed to find comfort and support from his touch.

“I have to tell you something,” she said, her voice low. “I found out s-some shocking information tonight.”

“Oh?”

She nodded. “Ava is the angel donor for the animal rescue.”

“I suspected as much.”

Much to his regret, she pulled her hand away, and he could feel her gaze boring into him as he turned onto the dirt road that would eventually lead up to the dinosaur camp.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, her tone accusatory.

He sighed. “I said I suspected. I didn’t know for certain. I figured if she was behind the gift, she had her reasons for donating anonymously. I had to respect those.”

“I wish you had said something. Maybe if I had even considered it a possibility, I wouldn’t have acted like such a jerk to her.”

“What could I have said? I didn’t know anything for sure. I might have been wrong.”

She sighed, bouncing as the truck went over a rut on the dirt road. “She said she finally agreed to the publishing contract mainly for the animal rescue, because the amount they were offering her for a contract would allow her to help make it a reality.”

“Wow. That’s great.”

She nodded. “She also agreed to the contract so she and Cullen would have enough for a down payment on a house in order to start their family. Poor Ava.”

Her voice broke on her sister’s name and Luke reached for her hand again.

She sniffled. “I hate remembering how awful I’ve been to her this summer. All my snide comments about the book. Blaming her for invading my privacy. Telling her she ruined my life. I don’t believe she even wanted to publish the book. She mostly did it for me, so I could have the start-up funds we needed.”

“She loves you. The two of you have an unbreakable bond, forged through all you have survived together.”

She swiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie. “I keep saying I want to forget the past, to focus on my life now and what’s ahead. But it’s always there.”

“Read Ava’s book, Madi. I think you’ll find it moving. Transformative, even.”

He wasn’t sure she believed him but she at least seemed to be considering the suggestion this time, where before she would have rolled her eyes.

They couldn’t take his truck all the way, because for much of the distance, the trail was too narrow for more than a small off-road vehicle. He drove as far as he could, until he had no choice but to pull off into a small clearing and park the pickup.

The rain wasn’t heavy but it was steady, with a chill wind that knuckled under his slicker. He didn’t like the idea of Madi out in that cold. He gestured back to the pickup. “Why don’t you stay here in the truck and wait where it’s dry and warm? You’ll freeze on the side-by-side. I can go up the rest of the way by myself.”

Madi shook her head. “No. I feel like I need to tell him. I’m his sister-in-law. I told Nicki the same thing.”

He set his jaw at her stubbornness. “You can still be the one to give him the sad news. I won’t say anything. I’ll tell him there’s an emergency with Ava and you will explain what’s going on back here at the truck.”

She reached for his hand, her teeth already chattering. “I’m grateful for your concern for my safety and comfort, Luke. Believe me, I am. But I need to do this.”

He sighed, expecting nothing less. “Fine. Let’s hurry, then.”

She climbed into the passenger seat wearing a coat and a rain slicker, with a blanket that she tucked over her legs.

His side-by-side had a roof and front windshield, which cut the worst of the mud and rain from coming in and soaking them. It did not have side windows, though, and the wet wind still managed to blow through as they made their way up farther into the backcountry.

It took all his concentration to drive on the narrow, slick trail. He drove slowly, about half as fast as he would have liked, with his headlights illuminating only about twenty feet ahead of them in the inky darkness.

At least he had a heater, which he turned on high for Madi.

Finally, they reached the toughest part of the trail, the steep climb up to the dinosaur camp. He revved it, the tires spitting muck and gravel, and then he saw the lights and wall tents of Cullen’s camp.

A dog barked at them menacingly and approached, followed by a man holding a lantern.

“What the hell are you doing, coming up here in these conditions?” he yelled. “This is a private research camp. You could be arrested for trespassing!”

In that instant, as he drew nearer, Luke recognized the man as her brother-in-law. The man spotted Madi at the same moment.

“Madi? What’s going on? What’s wrong? Is it Ava?”

Madi looked tortured as she fumbled to open the door of the side-by-side. She hurried toward him with a sob and wrapped her arms around her brother-in-law.

“Yes. It’s Ava. She needs you, Cullen. She’s losing the baby. I’m so, so sorry.”

Cullen sagged against the vehicle, mud and all, looking suddenly shattered in the light of his lantern.

“What? When?”

“Now. Tonight. She’s been having cramps since last night, I guess, but they hit her hard this evening and she started bleeding, too. My roommate, Nicki, is an ER nurse and she confirmed that’s what’s going on. But I think Ava already knew. She’s so sad, Cullen.”

Luke hadn’t felt this helpless since Johanna had first been hospitalized with COVID and he hadn’t even been allowed to be with her at the end.

“We can take you back down to her,” he said, his voice low. “Madi felt like it was important for you to know as soon as possible.”

“Is she...is she okay?” His voice sounded rough, thick.

Madi shook her head. “Not really. She’s devastated. She already loved the baby so much.”

Cullen released a breath that sounded like a sob. “Oh man. Poor Ava. My poor Ava. Give me ten minutes to grab a few things and tell my research partner what’s going on.”

“Of course,” Luke said. “We’ll wait. Do what you need to do.”

Cullen nodded and reached a hand blindly for the dog, who came at once, nudging the man’s hand with his head as if urging him to hurry.