30 Ways to Fool an Angel (Tales of a Midlife Witch #7)

Chapter 20

The strange woman and far darrig had disappeared from the doorway when Mom and I were arguing about her not telling me the truth.

Only Rasmus was left now, and he was looking at me with wide, alarmed eyes.

“Are you going to keep my secrets or make me use my scary voice on you too? Please don’t make me pop out my wings. I haven’t learned to use them properly yet.”

Rasmus laughed softly. “I can see why Semyaza broke all his rules for you.”

Keeping my expression stern, I stared hard at Rasmus as I struggled to sit up. An image of him intervening in Mom’s fate popped into my head. It was too clear to be my imagination. I chose to view it as a vision.

We read the Ancient One’s mind. The decision weighs heavily on him even though he’d do it again. You’re welcome , a haughty voice said inside my head.

My smile was wide and my expression was knowing. “Would those be the same reasons you broke your rules and saved Mom’s life when the wicked fairy’s sister stabbed her?”

Rasmus accepted my ability to see into him without so much as an eye blink. “Your mother is the only female to ever show me what human love is like. I will get between her and death until one of us is no more.”

“You’re secrets are safe with me, but I need to see him. Mom will be fine. The way the ring works, she won’t realize she was even frozen. Please take me to him.”

Rasmus kissed Mom on her frozen forehead and scooped me from the bed like he was picking up a child. I guess I technically was one to him because I was a gazillion years younger than him and the immortal creature who’d saved me. I wouldn’t even be able to do the math.

His steps were light as Rasmus descended the stairs with me in his arms. He carried me out of Mom’s house and over to my house. I hadn’t gotten to visit it since I’d found the property for Mom and Conn. I barely remembered what it looked like inside. I only remembered the pizza oven on the back porch.

Tony opened the front door and waited for us. My relief to see him was probably oozing from my pores, but I didn’t care if he or Rasmus knew.

Tony’s energy felt different to me, though. He felt more powerful. Something had changed for him when he saved me. I’m sure we would end up talking about it eventually. The ring never let Tony off the hook for long. If I wanted to know something, either the ring told me or made my wicked angel confess.

“ Kamaandar ,” Rasmus said, bowing his head slightly.

The greeting Rasmus used sounded enough like “Commander” to figure it out. I looked between Rasmus and Tony. Kabir had talked about Tony’s lack of military status. He’d bragged Tony had been demoted to a sergeant but that he had always been a general.

Their story was ancient history—very ancient. But it also seemed to be still the case. Was this about Tony’s ancient transgressions with women? Geez, he’d been dealing with that crap for a long time.

Tony held out his arms to take me. I let myself be transferred into them.

“Please... no formality,” Tony said to Rasmus. “I’m going to be with this particular chosen one until things are finished between us. Fiona is willful. She might need me for her entire lifetime, which based on recent events might end up being quite short. Only time will tell.”

I smacked his chest for saying all that to Rasmus. “Hey... I said I was sorry. Stepping out from behind you was an honest mistake.”

Tony ignored my defense—as usual—and kept talking to Rasmus. “I would appreciate it if you called me Tony while I was in your presence. I chose that moniker because it was a solid male name.”

“Indeed, it is a good name. It suits you,” Rasmus said. “Did Orlin explain the situation here when he visited you?”

Tony snorted. “I’ve been both briefed and warned. Orlin’s opinion of how things should be changes nothing. I’m contractually bound to Fiona through the ring. I wish to remain so. It is my choice... and her ring’s.”

Now that Rasmus wasn’t carrying me, he walked beside us with his hands in his pockets. “Did Orlin tell you that Aran O’Malley was his biological granddaughter?”

Tony stopped walking and breathed out. “No, he didn’t mention that. So Fiona...”

Rasmus nodded. “Yes. She has quite a DNA chain.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“That you’re full of surprises. This is not news,” Tony said.

While Rasmus watched, he carried me to a bed with only two pillows on it and set me down gently. He propped both of them behind my back like he took care of me every day. “Her ancestry could explain her wings. No ring protector got them before her. The ring insists it didn’t do it. After they popped out, her powers also appeared.”

Rasmus grinned at me as he spoke to Tony. “She threatened to use her wings to fly over here. Then she confessed she didn’t know how to fly yet.”

Tony lifted both hands. “You understand my challenges then. She’s had no training at all. I want to throttle her father.”

Rasmus looked at me and then at Tony. “I believe I understand far more than I’m supposed to about your situation.”

I gave both men a haughty glare that even the ring would have envied. “Go away, Rasmus. I do not need your assumptions. My mother will be unfreezing soon and you’ll need a good story about why you absconded with her daughter. I will, of course, blame you if she gets mad.”

“How about I take your mother downstairs, dial your grandmother’s number, and then put her phone in her hand? She’ll remember that part of your conversation and assume she made the trip on her own.”

I chuckled. “I can see that working.”

“It’s going to take her a while to adjust to your new skills. Please keep that in mind. To her, you remain the unsure daughter who she sent away.”

I lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “It’s going to take me a while as well. Fighting for my life is a skill set I hadn’t tried to develop before now.”

“Tony is the best of overseers,” Rasmus said with a smile.

Then he bowed his head to Tony before walking back through the house to let himself out.

I looked around the sparsely furnished bedroom. “This looks like a bachelor pad. Was that your intention? Or do you lack domestic skills?”

Tony looked around and sighed. “Is it the lack of pillows?”

“No. It’s the total lack of color and soft materials.”

Tony chuckled. “I normally don’t dwell in a space long enough to care what it looks like. You can choose different options while you’re recuperating.”

“I’m glad you stayed, Tony. Thanks for saving me.”

“I had to. It’s my job,” he said.

“You could have let me die and maybe gotten someone better. I think you saved me because you like me.”

“I can’t stop you from believing what you want.”

Laughing, I patted the space beside me. “Come sit. The ring gave me leverage so I could make Rasmus carry me over here. Mom was keeping you away from me, wasn’t she?”

“Your mother knows my real name. My reputation as a ruiner of human women precedes me.”

“I don’t imagine any of the women you allegedly ruined ever called you that.”

Tony grunted but grinned. “No. They believed I loved them, which I did. I took many wives in the beginning. I enjoyed the company of human females.”

“Did you have lots of children with your many wives?” I asked.

“Yes. I had several with every woman I slept with. I was happy about them. It was a good life, much better than I’d ever had.”

“Then your children turned into monsters.”

Tony was silent for a moment, and then he shook his head. “I never considered them that. And they were not all cannibalistic like your human literature claims. Their human sides led them to use their power for themselves, which resulted in normal humans being enslaved. The exercise of power over one another has been a flaw in your species from the very beginning. The Creators did not admit that until after I awakened.”

“Awakened?” I asked.

“I was kept unaware of life for thousands of years. They woke me when King Solomon approached his death. Let me finish my story.”

Shrugging, I leaned more comfortably back into the two measly pillows he’d purchased.

“None of my hybrid children were innately evil. However, their very existence disrupted the careful balance of the planet’s population. I did not witness their removal because I refused to participate. Neither did Azazel, who was my second. We felt they were redeemable. We were incarcerated for our beliefs that all life is sacred.”

“What was your prison like?”

“It was like nothing. We were put into stasis without awareness for many thousands of your Earth years. I was released only after King Solomon used the original ring to construct a temple to store the Earth’s dangerous artifacts. The Creators decided that a human protector was needed for the ring. In the meantime, a second ring—nearly as powerful as the original—came into existence as a balance. It would be needed to fight the other ring, if the unthinkable ever happened.”

“So what role does my not-completely-dead grandfather play in this big scheme.”

“After his death, your grandfather joined the legion of beings within the ring you wear. He wanted to remain attached to your family instead of reincarnating.”

I stared at my ring. “Are you saying my grandfather is with the others who power my ring?”

“Yes.”

“And that’s where you put me while you worked to save my physical body?”

“Yes.”

“My head hurts even thinking about that,” I said, rubbing my temples.

“The legion prepares for a human apocalypse, while I strive to prevent one from ever happening. Can I finish my story before you ask more questions? I’m only going to speak of all this one time with you. I dislike dwelling in the past.”

I had an urge to giggle at his crankiness but bravely pushed it away. Watching what I said to my father all those years was coming in handy with my ring’s overseer.

I waved a hand. “I pray thee, good angel overseer, please continue to enlighten me with your ancient knowledge.”

Tony glared at me. “Sometimes you’re so rude I want to spank you.”

A giggle escaped. “Stop getting my hopes up. You’ve already said you can’t get sexually involved with me. Or have you changed your mind?”

Tony stared at me with something wicked churning in his gaze. My heart sped up a little, but I wasn’t surprised when he controlled himself.

“As I was saying, the rings proved more contentious than their protectors. They chose randomly and limited how much they were taught. Neither Kabir nor I ever communicated directly with the rings because they ignored us.”

“Bet that didn’t sit well with either of you. Kabir put a lot of effort into trying to convince me to work with him and his ring. Do you think he sent the bad guys who attacked me?”

Tony didn’t answer. He just shrugged. Eventually, he pushed himself to reply. “I would not suspect him of that since he wants you alive. Even asking you to trade rings is outside of the overseer’s rules. The original ring must have spoken to him about you. Neither of us would risk our situations. We have no desire to return to our prisons.”

“Kabir is a demon who made a deal to become a djinn.”

“Yes. He is a royal demon. He changed himself hoping to negate the bargain made to end the Great War. The Creators did not allow him to succeed in his efforts.”

“So Kabir is one of Conn’s enemies.”

Tony stared for a few moments. “Kabir is one of his descendants. He was born two or three generations later, I believe. Connlander of Fir Bolg is a more powerful being than any demon born in any later generation. Kabir knew that. I am not aware of how he converted to a djinn as well.”

I snorted. “Well, that’s unexpected. Mom says Conn and Mulan are expecting a baby. Conn’s replicating again. I hope the new baby doesn’t turn against him too. The Wu Shaman is incredibly powerful on her own.”

Tony cleared his throat. “The baby will be a discussion that we will have another day.”

“Did you assume your true form to save me?”

Tony looked off frowning, made some sort of decision, and then looked back and nodded. “I needed powers I had not used in centuries. I’m truly not an angel, Fiona. Nor am I a guardian. I am a light being who took physical form out of my compassion for your species. There are many labels but none of them fit me.”

“Angel still works for me. Do you hate the term?”

Tony shook his head. “Humans stood on an enormous jump-to-conclusions mat when they dubbed us angels. We were here in the beginning. We will be here when the humans end. Returning to our light being forms is the only way to escape our destiny. None of us have chosen to do so because having any sort of physical body is sublime to us.”

I rubbed his arm and let my hand remain. “I figured out your true purpose from the flaming sword you drew from nothing but air. If you were an angel...”

“But I’m not,” Tony said.

I glared at him. “Work with me. If you were an angel, you’d be an archangel. You holding that sword looked like you could smite entire armies by yourself.”

A tense silence fell between us. I bit my lip and waited.

Compared to all the other women this man had known, I couldn’t imagine how he could be attracted to me. It had to be more than sexual desire because it wouldn’t have taken much to seduce me.

He’d seen me at my most vulnerable and hadn’t tried. He’d also seen me in my Lady Lucifer form and celebrated it with me.

The beings in the ring still didn’t think my wings were magickal, but I knew they were. Just like I knew the man beside me genuinely cared that I was growing.

Whatever else he felt about me, I wanted to experience it. My aspiration was not that we would work out long-term as a couple. I certainly didn’t see myself becoming wife number six thousand seven hundred and thirteen for him... or the next of however many he’d had. I just wanted my time. I wanted our time.

I wanted to share what I was with Tony if that was what he wanted as well.

“I could not let you die, Fiona. Assuming that form is the equivalent of me issuing a verbal challenge to any powerful being looking for a fight. I do not assume it often because it draws conflicts to me. My hesitation nearly cost you your life. I will not make that mistake again.”

I nodded. “And I will try to think before I act so you don’t have to break your rules. I like you, but I don’t want to end up in prison with you.”

“I hate rules—especially my rules,” Tony said, grinning at his words. “I bet Rasmus talked about rules with you, didn’t he? He always was a rule follower.”

I smiled. “Mom is the opposite. Rules are guidelines for her, but she has no problem breaking them.”

“They were obviously meant for each other.”

“Are we?” I asked, searching his gaze.

Tony searched mine back. “We can’t be any worse a match than your mother and Rasmus are.”

I giggled. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Do you honestly want an answer?”

My head moved up and down on its own. My heart beat hard in my throat. I still hurt all over but I finally felt like I’d landed where I belonged.

“Yes, but only to confirm what I already know. I’ve been hanging out with this arrogant older man. He’s starting to rub off on me.”

“Fiona? When I rub on you, I promise you’ll know it. I’m quite experienced at pleasuring women.”

His lips finding mine stifled my giggle over his obnoxious flirting. My wicked angel used my laughter to slip his tongue into my mouth. I moaned over his talented exploration and wrapped one aching arm around his neck to keep him where he was.

“Fiona Derringer! What are ya doing with that creature? I’ve been searching all over the property for ya.”

Tony and I broke apart—both of us chuckling. First thing tomorrow, I needed to get locks put on my doors. They wouldn’t keep Mom out if she wanted in, but they would draw a boundary she might think twice before crossing.

If Mom walked in on me after that, she would know she might catch me doing much, much more than just kissing him. I had tasted the promise of pleasure in his kiss. It wasn’t going away.

I smiled as I looked at my ranting mother. Was she scandalized by what Tony was? Or truly concerned for me? How much did I care about her acceptance of my choices?

Over the next few months, I was going to be doing way scarier things than merely kissing a man she didn’t like.

“Do we not knock on each other’s doors anymore?” I asked.

“Ya don’t know him, Fiona. He’s dangerous.”

“Yes, I do know him, Mom. So am I.”

“Don’t fight with your mother over me. Just freeze her again,” Tony ordered. “It’s the easiest way to demonstrate your powers without inflicting true harm. Aran of The Dagda is a smart woman. She’ll figure things out eventually. She needs time.”

I burst out laughing. Mom glared at him.

“Fine. I’ll not stand here and be the brunt of yer private jokes. Do what ya want with each other. I refuse to be responsible,” Mom said, turning around to leave.

I could easily imagine Gigi and Mom yelling over Dad being a terrible choice. What could I possibly say to reassure my mother that I was being smarter than she realized?

“I’m not planning to marry him, Mom. I just like the way he kisses,” I called after her.

“Well, thank the Goddess for that at least. I wouldn’t want ya kissing a being who was bad at it,” Mom said snidely.

In the distance, I heard my front door close with a slam. Tony chuckled low and got up to go check if she’d damaged it. Mom was pretty strong when she was mad.

It would take my mother some time to get used to the idea that I was going to be walking into danger no matter what she did to try to stop me. If things didn’t work out here, I would have to go back to Ireland. That wasn’t my first choice but I had to do what I had to do.

Your mother is not angry with your choice of us , the ring said.

I looked at the ring. “If she ever had to watch me get stabbed, she would instantly change her mind about me wearing you.”

Train with the creature you lust for. His magick will make you stronger.

“I don’t recall asking for your permission to do anything I want with him.”

“Who are you talking to now?” Tony asked.

“The ring,” I said, dropping my hand. “It approves of me lusting for you.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Do we need the ring’s permission?”

“No. That’s why I was being snarky. I always have a reason for being like that.”

“Not always,” Tony said.

“Yes. Always ,” I insisted.

Mom was right. A relationship with Tony might prove to be a dangerous decision for me in a myriad of ways I couldn’t guess yet. But so would turning him away when all I wanted was to explore his mouth the way he’d explored mine.

This life with him was a chance I wanted to take. When she came to terms with me growing up, Mom would see that as well. I was going to make sure of it.

“Sleep while you can. Sleep and heal,” he commanded.

When Tony tossed a blanket over me, I cuddled into its softness and let him wrap his arms around me. My rebellious nature never felt the urge to argue about following his orders.

“It’s okay, Fiona. I know it won’t last,” he said.

“Stop reading my mind. One day you’re going to see something in my brain you won’t like.”

“Already happened... and more than once,” Tony declared.

When he laughed at my gasp, I pinched his side. Or I tried to. The man was all muscle. I couldn’t find a single strip of loose skin. Who kept himself in that kind of condition? It must be a paranormal male thing.

He chuckled at my weak attempt to get revenge and kissed my forehead.

I smiled and curled into him, happy to be where I was and to not be dead yet. Tomorrow would bring enough challenges. Being happy for now was good enough for me.

—THE END (for now)—