Chapter Twenty-Eight – Jay
“Are you sure about this?” Alison asked as they got back in the car.
“I am.” Jay buckled his seatbelt and stretched out his legs. Only to hit his knees on the dashboard.
“Having trouble there?” Alison smothered a smile.
“We need a bigger car.” He glanced sideways at her.
“We do,” Alison said as she started the engine.
“Yeah?” Jay arched an eyebrow at her.
“Yeah,” Alison nodded, pulling away from the cabin. “Tessa’s booster seat takes up half the back, and every time I go grocery shopping, I’m playing Tetris with the bags.” She glanced at him, and he could see the humor in her eyes before she looked back at the road. “Not that I’m complaining. This car got us to Bear Creek, and that’s what matters.”
Jay studied her profile, his eyes drawn to the way the afternoon sun caught in her hair. “On second thought, we should keep it.” He patted the door. “It’s got character. History.”
“It’s also got a mysterious rattle that appears every time I hit forty-five miles per hour,” Alison countered with a laugh.
“That’s just its way of talking to you.” Jay smiled. He loved these moments with Alison. They were so simple.
But things might be about to get complicated, his bear said.
But we can’t hide from complicated, Jay replied. And anyway, this might be the way we uncomplicate things.
You mean if we find Lomas and find out what he wants? Jay’s bear asked.
Yes. Or even just finding out that he’s alive. Jay’s heart tightened in his chest, and a wave of panic gripped him. For a moment he was back on the edge of the ravine, looking down into the darkness, while the river churned below, believing his friend had died. Believing that he was responsible.
He might not remember all the specifics, but he knew he’d carried that burden ever since.
Possibly needlessly.
“It’s right just up here.” Jay pointed as they reached a crossroads.
It’s a good thing Dougray gave us directions since I have no recollection of this place, his bear said as Alison made the right turn.
Me neither, Jay answered. But he hoped that might change when they reached Lomas’s mom’s house.
But then there was no reason why it should. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to when a fragment of memory might return.
He glanced at Alison in the passenger seat. She turned and gave him a brief smile, as if she had sensed him looking at her. He wanted to tell her how much it meant that she was here, but the words stuck in his throat. Instead, he reached over and touched her arm.
A small, resolute smile curved her lips. “It will be all right.”
“I know.” And he did know. One way or another, he would not let anyone spoil his future with Alison.
When they turned onto the narrow tree-lined road leading to Lomas’s mother’s house, Jay’s senses kicked into overdrive. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, and his pulse quickened.
He’s here, his bear insisted, a growl lacing its tone.
Jay inhaled deeply through his nose. Something intangible prickled at the edge of his awareness, like a faint echo. You’re right. I’m not sure how I know it’s him, but it is.
Perhaps because our fates, our lives, are so intertwined, his bear said.
A few hundred yards from the house, Alison pulled the car to the side of the road and came to a stop. “It’s just up ahead through the trees. Can you see it?”
“I can see it,” he said, forcing calm into his voice, “Alison. I want you to stay here while I go check it out.”
Alison’s jaw tightened. “We agreed we’d stick together.”
His bear gave a disapproving huff. Don’t argue with our mate.
Jay grimaced. “I just—if something happens—”
She cut him off, eyes flashing. “Would you let me go alone?”
That question sank into his chest like a stone. He wouldn’t, not in a million years. He sighed, knowing the argument was lost. “No, I wouldn’t.”
“Then I’m coming with you,” she said, her voice unwavering.
After a moment’s hesitation, Jay nodded, although he still did not like it. “All right,” he murmured. “We’ll go together.”
They got out of the car and quietly closed the doors. Then they walked side by side along the road, Jay’s senses on high alert. But he couldn’t sense anyone around them. The only people close by were inside the house.
As they got closer, he could make out the details of the house. It looked neglected, with paint peeling off the door, an overgrown yard, and a gate that needed a new hinge.
Then he sensed movement, and the front door opened, and a figure appeared. Jay’s heart lurched.
I recognize him, Jay told his bear. The details felt hazy, but something about the way he stood was so familiar.
That’s him, his bear growled. Lomas.
“I wondered how long it’d be before you showed up,” Lomas called out, folding his arms over his chest. There was no immediate hostility in his tone, more a weary resignation.
He is alive, Jay’s bear murmured, almost in disbelief.
Jay swallowed as his head swam, as if the past and present were colliding. Fragments of memory flickered through his mind—laughter around a campfire, a fishing trip in the rain...
“Lomas,” he managed, his voice rougher than he intended. Beside him, Alison’s fingers brushed against his and he glanced sideways, glad she was here. Then he switched his attention back to Lomas. “I don’t want a fight. I just…need answers.”
Lomas’s gaze flicked to Alison briefly, then back to Jay. “Then you’d better come in.” He went inside and Jay took hold of Alison’s hand as they went through the crooked gate and headed for the house.
Alison did not hesitate as she climbed the creaking porch steps. But Jay’s anxiety spiked as they crossed the threshold. Could this be a trap?
Dougray knows we are here, his bear assured him.
But if anything happened, would help come fast enough? Jay asked.
The living room was dim, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light after the brightness outside. As his vision cleared, Jay took in the faded floral wallpaper and worn furniture. A musty scent hung in the air, mixed with something else—medicinal.
“Mom’s resting,” Lomas said, gesturing toward a hallway. “She doesn’t have many good days anymore.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Alison said, her nurse’s instincts kicking in despite the circumstances of their visit. “Is there anything she needs? I’m a registered nurse.”
“No, thank you,” Lomas said and brushed his black wavy hair back from his face. “The nurse has already been today. But there’s little they can do except keep her comfortable.”
“I’m sorry,” Jay said, and he meant it. He could not bear the thought of anything happening to Mary.
Lomas nodded, expression tight. “It’s why I came back. When I heard she was sick, I wanted to see her.” He glanced along the hallway again. “After I left, she never left this house, always believed I’d come home, eventually. But I made it too late. She doesn’t recognize me. She still thinks…you know, that I’m gone.” He gave a hollow laugh. “But I couldn’t just let her…die…without seeing her.”
Jay’s chest constricted. “So you came home.”
“I did.” Lomas nodded. “Now I know I should never have left. Although, at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. For everyone.”
“The right thing?” Jay ground out, his anger barely contained. “We all thought you were dead.” He thumped his fist on his heart. “You let me believe I was responsible for your death.”
Lomas hung his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that. Not at the time, at least.”
“What did you think would happen?” Jay asked.
“That everyone would think I’d left town to avoid being arrested.” Lomas made it all sound so simple.
“And is that what happened?” Alison asked. “Did you leave town so you didn’t get arrested?”
Lomas ran his hand over his beard. “Maybe that was part of the reason. I was bad news. The people I was involved with were dangerous. If I’d been arrested… I don’t know what they might have been capable of. What revenge they might have sought.”
“So, you thought running was the best thing to do?” Jay asked bitterly.
“Isn’t that what you did?” Lomas countered.
“I left because the guilt ate me up,” Jay said. “I left because I felt responsible for what happened that night. What happened to you. Every time I rode out that way, what happened that night haunted me.”
He could see it now. What happened that night tainted him. Tainted every facet of his life, the mountains, the ranch, they were never the same.
No wonder we chose to forget, his bear said.
Lomas’s face fell, genuine remorse flickering across his features. “I didn’t know, Jay. I swear I didn’t know you blamed yourself. And until I got back, I didn’t know you had left Bear Creek.”
“How could I not?” Jay’s voice cracked slightly. “One minute we were arguing at the edge of that ravine, and the next...” He shook his head, the memory still fragmented, but the emotion undeniable.
“I fell,” Lomas said quietly. “I lost my footing and fell. But I didn’t die. Or maybe I did. Or at least part of me did. When I fell, the current dragged me far downstream. I was hurt…broken ribs and, a twisted ankle. Ended up healing in some half-baked hideaway, too ashamed or maybe too scared to come back.”
“I was your friend,” Jay said. “I would have helped you.”
His voice dropped. “And you were always better than me. After you found out what I was doing, the illegal poaching... I knew you would stand by me. That you would try to help. And I knew that would only get you drawn deeper into the mess I was in.”
He did it for us? Jay’s bear asked. He left town for us?
But in trying to help us, he made things ten times worse, Jay said.
“And the other night, on the mountain, when I fell?” Jay asked.
Or were pushed, his bear growled.
Lomas shook his head. “Like I said, I wanted to come and see my mom. But I didn’t want anyone to know I was back. So, I caught a bus and then crossed the mountains to avoid being seen.” He ran his hand through his long, straggly hair. “I let my hair grow long and even grew a beard in the hope of not being recognized.”
“But that was not enough to stop my shifter senses from recognizing you,” Jay said.
“No. My intention was to keep a low profile. After all, I was presumed dead. But then there you were, you called my name and appeared from the darkness like a ghost.” Lomas tensed his jaw and stared out the window toward the distant mountains.
“And then?” Jay asked quietly.
And then he decided to stop us from revealing his true identity. Jay’s bear roared, ready to burst free and seek revenge.
I don’t think Lomas would do that to us, Jay said. He might not remember specific memories of Lomas, but he had a sense that he was not a cold-blooded killer.
“You called out. And when I saw you, I panicked. You came after me…and then you fell and hurt yourself.” Lomas’s voice was a murmur of shame. “I tried to help you, but there was nothing I could do. So, I headed down the mountain to get help. But someone else must have found you and raised the alarm because the mountain rescue team was already on their way.”
“Finlay and Mila found me,” Jay said with a nod.
“All I could think of was that when you told the sheriff I was back in town, he would come for me. And I wanted to see my mom…” His eyes drifted toward the room where his mother still slept.
Now that we can understand, his bear said, as his anger waned.
“I was a coward, I admit it. When I got home…” His voice cracked and he reached out a hand and rested it on the countertop. “I kept listening for the sound of a car. Sure that the sheriff would come for me once you told him I was back in town.”
“But he never came,” Alison said. “Because Jay could not remember a thing about what happened that night.”
Lomas grunted. “I went into town for groceries. And there was all this talk about a rescue, and no one knew who the injured man was. I figured I had a little time. Then I heard you had amnesia.”
“So, why did you approach Alison?” Jay asked tersely.
“What can I say?” Lomas shrugged. “I don’t know what was worse, the fear that you had been seriously hurt or the fear that you might remember. So, I went to the hospital. I was going to go in when I saw Waylan talking to Alison.”
“I sensed someone watching me in the parking lot,” Alison said.
“So, then, I figured that if I could get talking to Alison, then I might find out more about your situation. It was eating me up. The not knowing.” His voice was strained as he looked at Alison. “I only wanted to talk to you at the bar. I figured if I bought you a drink and we got talking…”
“And by the gate at the ranch later that night?” Alison asked. “That was you?”
“Yes. I heard you say you were heading for the Thornburg Ranch.” Lomas shrugged. “So I followed.”
“You’ve been stalking me?” Alison asked.
“No. I mean, not really.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I just needed to know. But then when I saw you together today, it was obvious you and Jay were mates. I was happy for you, Jay. So very happy,” Lomas said. “I knew then that I needed to leave. For good.”
“What I don’t understand is why you confronted Lomas that night?” Alison asked Jay. “How did you know Lomas was there?”
“I don’t know,” Jay said with a shake of his head.
“I think I do,” Lomas said.
“You do?” Jay’s eyes narrowed as he studied Lomas. “Tell me.”
“A couple of weeks ago, I got off a bus, and I had the strangest feeling…” He rubbed the back of his neck.
“Like someone was watching you?” Alison asked drily.
“Yes,” Lomas said with a crooked smile.
“Me?” Jay twitched his head. It was as if something was buzzing inside of his brain. “I think I… I remember. I saw you. At least I thought it was you. I couldn’t believe it. And so I followed you.”
“Now, who is the stalker?” Lomas asked with an arched eyebrow.
“I needed to be sure it was you. You went to the ticket office and enquired about a bus to Bear Creek.” Jay shrugged. “That’s why I was here. I followed you back here.”
The man who had made him leave had also led him home.
To our mate, his bear said.
Slowly, the tension in Jay’s chest loosened, replaced by a strange emptiness where guilt had lived for so long. He didn’t want to dwell on that part of his life anymore. All he wanted to do was look to the future. A future with Alison and Tessa.
And the rest of the Thornberg clan, his bear said.
Our family, Jay said. Our home.
And now he felt as if he were truly home. That his future belonged to him. And maybe one day, his past would, too. But if that didn’t happen, he could live with it.
As long as he could live with his mate. Forever.