56. Nowhere and Everywhere
56
NOWHERE AND EVERYWHERE
I t was dark.
And Luella was cold.
"Hello," she called. Her voice echoed back to her, a faint ringing that bounced off of nothingness.
Ever-lasting darkness swirled all around her.
And it was there, in the heart of that deep darkness, that Luella saw the faintest glimmer of lights— stars .
She lifted her hands in front of her, her skin pale and shimmery like swaths of glitter had been dusted over her. In the midst of the darkness around her, she stretched up on her tiptoes, reaching for the speckles of stars that dotted the vastness of the galaxy that she had found herself in.
But it was no use. No matter how hard she tried, she could not touch them, only look upon their faint glow.
She was trapped. Knew nothing but the dark.
A heavy silence weighed on her.
What did she remember? Remember … Memories. Nothing at all.
Fear, that was one. A slight pain in her arm, feeling lost and cold. But she still felt lost and cold.
What had happened to her?
Luella looked down. She felt fuzzy—heavy and light, all at once.
Smoothing a hand over her stomach and down her hips, Luella felt her body’s firmness. Everything felt normal under her hands, but as she looked up— looked around —she saw the undeniable truth that she was in a place that was anything but normal.
Endless darkness, broken up by the threads of gold, specks of stars, and glittering stardust floating from their light high above.
"Where is the place?" Her voice rang out into nothing, and nothing answered.
So, she walked.
Luella put one foot in front of the other. Walking, walking, walking.
Her body did not grow tired, and her memories did not return, only the faintest mirage of feelings that tickled against her skin as her mind reached toward remembrance.
A shooting star whizzed past her, and Luella gasped, a hand fluttering to her lips in awe. Though she could not touch, she could feel. She felt the whirl of the air as it shot through the sky and the faintest feeling of scorching heat against her chilled skin as it swirled by her.
"Woah," she breathed, the sound stolen by nothing and everything.
That shooting star whirled closer, exploding into a burst of gilded white dust.
Dust that floated right toward her.
Luella stumbled back, feet tripping over nothing by air and darkness. She cowered, hands coming up to cover her face as she flinched away from the assault of starry beauty.
"No!" Luella’s voice echoed back to her, a chorus of no ’s ringing all around.
Air whispered over her skin, but nothing else happened.
Slowly, she opened her eyes and unfurled her limbs where they were scrunched up around her, protecting her as best she was able.
Her eyes widened at the floating stardust before her. A swirling mass, bobbing to and fro like it was sentient, almost.
"My gods," Luella uttered. She was never one for cursing; her mother would have killed her if she heard her use the name of the gods in vain. But just this once…
The cloud of stardust tilted in the air, the edges shifting and swirling as if amused by her.
It was crazy, she knew, but she was out of options. That’s why she spoke to it. "Do you know where I am?"
The stardust merely bobbed in the air.
"Right, of course. You can’t understand me." Luella gave a laugh that bordered on hysterical. "This is utterly unfathomable. W-where am I?"
She lifted her hands as if demanding the dark nothing around her for the answers she sought.
But an answer did not come from the darkness but from the stardust.
Warmth tickled against her outstretched palm, and Luella resisted the urge to jerk it back. The cloud of the stardust shifted shape, reaching toward her in the visage of a hand. With a gradual touch, the cloud of stardust took her palm. It tickled, and it was warm, and Luella felt a giddiness bubble up within her.
Her lips stretched into a full-blown smile, one she hadn’t given in quite some time. As her cheeks stretched, it felt foreign on her face.
"Hello there." Luella laughed.
Perhaps the stardust was alive. It certainly acted like it.
The hand made of stardust tugged her, and Luella stumbled forward a step. "Where are you taking me?" she questioned.
The rest of the cloud of shimmering stardust shifted to the side, caressing her shoulders and enveloping her in what felt like the warmest of hugs.
She was too swept up in the ethereal oddity of it all that she didn’t notice the change until it was upon her. The darkness dissipated, the clouds roiled, and the light of the stars was snuffed out. A startled scream froze on her lips, and Luella was thrust into a swirl of movement as everything rushed around her.
Quick as a flash of lightning streaking through the sky, the maelstrom of movement ceased.
Luella tumbled to her hands and knees gracelessly, and the cloud of stardust dissipated like smoke, leaving her bereft of warmth.
"What?" she managed to choke out, incredulous.
Luella sat up, golden hair tumbling around her shoulders as she took in her new surroundings.
A forest.
But not just any forest.
The Silva Noctis.
Her breath froze in her icy lungs.
"Why am I back here?" Luella fearfully asked.
Leaves rustled on the tall trees, and the familiar blanket of old, brittle pine crunched under her as she stood, dusting off her knees with her palms.
Shadows yawned in the nooks between trees and odd, jagged rocks, and Luella whimpered at the sight, heart kicking up to a frightening pace in her chest as the shadows took form, extricating from their hiding spots and drifting forward with spindly arms.
Bottomless pits of white for eyes. An amorphous cloud of pure evil. Teeth breaking through the shifting mass of deep shadows.
Fear made her unmoving.
But when the wraith stretched in midair, expanding to five times Luella’s size, those familiar, ghastly clicking noises emitted from the hollow of its mouth.
And Luella finally broke free of the stupor she had found herself in and bolted.
She was not quick enough.
Goosebumps erupted on her exposed arms, and the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. Her breath was labored as she fled, dodging low-hanging branches and ankles twisting on brittle pinecones and rocks. Hopping over dips in the ground, Luella prayed for a miracle.
For the stardust to come back and save her.
Just as Luella had the thought, her face slammed into something hard and unforgiving, and she fell back onto her haunches. Scrambling backward, she cowered against the base of the large tree that had caused her to fall. The wraith trilled in front of her, looking nearly right at her. Those soulless, hungry eyes paused where she was curled on the ground, and then something strange happened—the shadows quivered in the air, and the wraith’s white eyes looked right over her.
Luella’s hands shook as she pressed her palm to her mouth, knees pulled to her chest as she forced herself smaller, but the wraith did not lunge like she expected. Clouds of darkness undulated before her, and the edges of the shadow blurred as they swept right near Luella. A fearful noise escaped her, but the creature did not move.
Then, all of a sudden, the dark image wavered in the dim light, and the wraith’s form broke up, disappearing back into the shadows from whence it came.
And Luella was unharmed.
"How…" she breathed, voice wavering from her brush with the creature.
Slowly, she unfurled her limbs and stood, a hand pressed to the tree behind her to steady herself.
The wraith had looked right past her as if the creature hadn’t even noticed her.
Luella shook her head, taking a hesitant step away from the security of the tree, and a memory hit her with the weight of a battering ram.
"My ankle!" Luella’s eyes widened. She sat down and carefully removed her boot. Pale fingers pressed against her unmarred skin. No bruising, no swelling.
What?
The memory of her twisted ankle lingered in her mind, but yet, when she searched for the evidence, she found none.
Luella recalled running in the Silva Noctis. Az had been there. Her ankle had twisted; the memory of the pain gripped her, and she winced. Everything after that was still fuzzy.
Had it even been real?
Something was strange about this place… about her, perhaps...
The wraith had ignored her, her ankle was uninjured, and she had no idea how the stardust had sent her here.
Luella laced her boot back up and stood, fortifying herself as best as she was able as she rolled her shoulders back and set her jaw with a grim determination.
Something wasn’t right here.
She felt almost… trapped.
And she would escape.
Exhaling, Luella continued her trek.
"Stupid place. Stupid wraiths," Luella muttered to herself as she walked.
She kicked rocks out of her way and purposefully stepped on branches, hearing the loud snap as they broke under her boots.
But she was left alone. No wraiths came to attack her the noise. It was as though she was a ghost.
She let out a long sigh, stepping over a fallen tree. Everything in this stupid forest looked the same. It felt like she was walking in circles.
Pine and shadows; barren deciduous and full evergreens; spindly limbs and jagged rocks. She was sick of it—so sick that fear had long since left her.
In her walking, she had seen more wraiths than she had ever thought possible, and each one swept right past her as if she, too, were a cloud of inconsequential shadows.
However, that meant she didn’t have to be so careful as she walked, and Luella took full advantage of her new-found imperviousness. Clomping along with ire, she cursed the stardust for dropping her here.
A particularly large collection of dense cedar trees stood up ahead, and Luella curiously ventured forward. It’s not like she had anything else to do, after all.
The leaves were so thick she couldn’t see through. A natural barrier.
Head tilting, her hair brushed the small of her back as she looked up to the towering, pointed tops of the green trees. The foliage was dense, and Luella felt a strange urge to see what was on the other side.
Without giving it too much thought, she pushed her hand against the lower hanging branches; leaves parted under her touch, but not without scratching her wrists and arms as she poked through. The barrier made by the collection of trees was not thin, and her arm disappeared into the inside. Her sleeves snagged against abrasive limbs.
Pulling her arm back, she realized that wouldn’t work. "There has to be another way."
She bent down, peering underneath the trees. The bottom part was thinner, just small enough that she could squeeze through.
"Okay, I can do this." Luella tried to imbue herself with confidence.
She lay down on the forest floor, pine sticking through her clothes and poking at her stomach. She shimmied forward on her elbows, the top of her head brushing over the leaves. Inhaling the fresh, wonderous scent of tree bark and freshly fallen leaves, Luella let her mind stay on that one positive thing, even while her jaw clenched as she dragged herself over the thick bed of pine. A few spiderwebs stuck to her hair, and sweetgum and brittle pinecones pricked her forearms.
Bright rays of sunlight filtered through, and Luella chased it, pulling herself up to stand as she cleared the underside of the barrier of trees.
Ugh. She grimaced as she pulled a thick cobweb from the tangles of her hair.
Shaking her clothes out to rid herself of any bugs or pine needles, Luella’s attention was captured by what lay on the other side of the barrier.
A cottage.
Her mouth parted with a gasp as she took in the small stone building. Nestled in the middle of a circle of towering trees. Lichen crawled up the side of the stone, and moss clung to the shutters, vines curling up the sides toward the roof, mingling with the leaves dangling from the thatched shingles.
How could a home be in the Silva Noctis?
Did anyone even live here?
Questions swirled within her mind, and Luella took steps forward to the windows, glass panes fogged over with condensation and dust. Swiping the back of her sleeve over the glass, the inside of the cottage revealed a dark, foreboding image.
Luella ducked, pressing her back to the stone side of the cottage, hoping she had not been seen peeping inside.
Slowly, she peeked up, fingers gripping the siding as only the top of her head and her eyes were visible.
A cloaked figure stood in the middle of the dark room, pulling books from shelves and moving them at will. The cottage was filled with books. A library, perhaps? Every wall was lined with old shelves, filled to the brim, and only a singular, robed figure moved within.
Light sparked from the center of the room, and the figure turned and shoved the hood of the dark cloak back, only to reveal a skeletal head with pure, white bone.
Her jaw dropped open in shock. What was this creature? She had never seen one like it before—or read of one like it.
Hollows which should have held eyes, and the nose was merely two holes etched into its skull. The mouth was toothless and held no lips. She could not tell what expression the creature was making, but as it turned to the window, and Luella crouched frozen, pinned under its stare, she could have sworn that it smiled.
She prepared herself to run, to dive back under the barrier of trees and take her chances with the wraiths. The evil you knew, after all…
But the skeletal creature merely nodded, bony head bobbing once on its spine. She watched the hard, little knobs of the vertebrae shift, a disgusted grimace twisting her lips downward. Facing the glowing orb of light in the middle of the room, the skeleton waved a bony hand, and just like that, a young male tumbled into being.
Luella watched with rapture as the male stood. Something about him looked so familiar to her.
He was younger, perhaps similar in age to her, and she saw no arched ears, only curving horns over long, wavy, dark brown hair. The ends of his hair tickled against his shoulders as his head whipped around, and Luella startled at the familiarity of his features—warm, amber eyes, a soft yet strong jaw, and tanned skin. Az .
It was undeniably Az, yet he looked younger than the male she knew. And his face was marred with blood and fresh cuts, evidence of a fight. Blood dribbled from a cut on his lip; dark, dried crusts of it were around his nose, and his cheek was bruised a horrific shade of blue and black. What had happened to him?
Luella watched as Az’s fists clenched, and before she could blink, he had a hand wrapped around the skeleton’s cloak.
"What the fuck?" Az’s voice was the rumbly tenor she remembered but not yet mature. Different.
Was this… Was this… the past?
Before she could ruminate on the thought any longer, four more figures stumbled out of the orb of light, one after the other, startled voices hissing out curses and accusations as they all wildly looked around in varying levels of shock.
Luella paled as she took them all in.
Golden hair and green eyes—King Vale stood tall and proud as he dusted off his coat, a haughty sneer on his lips. Nothing ever seemed to ruffle him. Luella was curious as she eyed the King. His jaw was less pronounced, his shoulders more slight in his youth, but the glint in his eyes was no less frightening. Even now, she wanted to cower back under its weight.
A shock of black hair framing pale skin. Bastian’s eyes were red-tinged, and as the young male snarled, two white fangs poked his bottom lip. He was without his usual swirls of delicate tattoos, and in his ears, only a simple silver ring, not at all like the many glittering rings and jeweled stones she knew him to wear. The buttons on his shirt were askew, and he looked a fearsome, angry thing—not like the impervious, flirty male she recalled. The vampire was less put-together in his youth. She watched as the King grabbed the back of Bastian’s shirt to stop him from charging the skeleton.
White hair, not quite the length of the mage she knew, and not tied back in his signature braids, it flowed free around his shoulders, and his tanned skin was etched with only a few blockish tattoos. Tharen still looked wild as he stood, icy eyes sparking and bloodied knuckles whitening as he curled his hands into fists, legs widening as he prepared to strike. The hollows of his cheeks were more pronounced, but the sharp angles of his face were softer in youth.
And Graves. The raven shifter wore simple black pants and a half-unlaced shirt, the purple stone of his amulet gleaming like a beacon on the strip of exposed skin at his chest. She held back a gasp at the sight of his face without a scar. He was breathtaking. The male was attractive with the scar, but without it, he looked more like some regal prince than a shadowed, lethal knight. His deep blue eyes were soft, saddened. His lips were downturned at the corners as though he had just experienced something sorrowful.
Graves’s head swung her way, staring right at her frightened face, where it poked over the edge of the windowsill. She couldn’t duck in time, and their eyes met. Or did they?
Nothing registered on the raven shifter’s face, his eyes skimmed right past her like he did not even see her.
Boldened, Luella straightened, now in full view. No one spoke to her. No one looked at her. She was a ghost.
With hesitancy slowing her steps, she rounded the side of the stone wall and stood before the door. It creaked open under the brush of her palm, and in what could only be nothing other than a memory of the past, nestled somewhere between life and death, change and truth, Luella entered the cottage.
A clammer of voices rang all around.
"What the fuck am I doing here?" Bastian seethed.
Az wiped the blood off of his face, smearing it across his cheek. "What do you want with us?"
Graves was the only one who was quiet; morose as he stood between Bastian and King Vale, the former looked ready to rip the skeleton apart with his teeth and hands, while the latter cast a cursory glance about the room, poised and contained.
"It’s obvious, is it not?" King Vale didn’t appear frightened in the least, but excitement clouded his face, making him appear wild. "We’re in the lair of the Fates."
All noise ceased.
The skeleton— a Fate, Luella couldn’t believe it—gave a jerky nod, a bony finger waving as the orb of light glowed brighter.
The Fate spoke. "You are here to stand testament to the beginning of the end." Its voice was neither male nor female but so powerful that Luella’s hair stood on end from the lofty weight imbued within the creature’s words.
"Salvation or destruction. It is your choice." Hollowed-out eye sockets stopped right on Luella, where she was standing just inside next to the closed door. "And her choice."
She gulped. Even without eyes, the skeleton’s gaze froze her to her spot. It was looking at her, she knew without a doubt. And yet, the Fate did not appear to harbor any malice, just a careful sort of curiosity and urgency.
The others appeared struck dumb—save for the King—under the heavy importance filling the room like smoke. Even Luella felt intense pressure on her, making her mouth dry and head heavy. She walked further inside; the others paid no mind to the creak of the floorboards under her step.
Tharen broke the silence. "We haven’t heard from your kind in nearly a century. Why should we believe you?"
The Fate did not answer. Bony hands reached into the orb of light, procuring a book from within its midst. As the faint glow from the orb cast a shine on the cover, Luella stumbled back, nearly knocking into Bastian—who did not look her way, even as her breath fluttered against his arm.
The book.
It looked identical to the one she had found in the library with Nyx. Compendium of Fates. The purple cover was pristine, and its size was an exact match.
The Fate held the book out, white bones gripping the cover as it said, "The five of you have been chosen."
King Vale arched a brow, and even in his youth, the action held unshakable confidence. "Chosen? For what?"
" To expel the dark, the shadow’s spark, and defeat the stolen, she must bond with the chosen ." The Fate tore a page from within the book, holding it with reverence as it raised the book higher. It erupted into a glimmer of light, tendrils swirling through the air and disappearing back into the orb.
The prophecy.
It all made sense now.
And Luella knew exactly where that book would end up. And who would stumble upon it nestled in the depths of a forgotten library…
Too much. Too much.
Her head hurt.
Azgorath’s hands shook, and Luella noted the blood on his knuckles, the bruises littering his skin. She walked behind him, trailing a ghostly hand near his back and over his chest. She looked right up into his eyes, begging him to see her.
"Az?" Luella whispered. He looked above her, focus trained on the Fate.
She reached down to grip his hand, to finally touch him and break this strange spell.
Like smoke, her hand went right through him.
"No." Luella tried again. "No, no, no."
Again. Again.
And again.
Each time, her hand passed through him. She couldn’t touch him. Her lip quivered.
The roaring in her head drowned out their talking, but she didn’t care.
"I want to get out of here," Luella said. "I don’t understand what’s happening."
She turned to Bastian and attempted to tug on his shirt sleeve, unable to grasp it. "Bastian? I want to go—" She stopped herself. The word home lingered unsaid in the air.
But where was home?
She was spiraling.
Luella sniffed, eyes burning as she waved her hands in front of Graves’s face. She stood on her tiptoes and even tried to grab his amulet… Her fingers swept right through the stone. No use.
She would even take Tharen’s attention at this point. Her clutched fists swept through the mage’s white hair as she tried to pull on it, rouse him from the conversation with the Fate. His lips moved heatedly, but she could barely hear over the panic clawing within her chest.
Finally, Luella turned to King Vale.
It felt odd to call him by his title when he appeared younger than she remembered him.
With slow steps, Luella stood before him, hands hovering over his chest. "Please?" Her voice quaked.
And then, she bridged the scant amount of space between them. Luella’s hands glided right through the King’s chest.
The sob she had been holding back finally escaped her, and Luella turned in a slow circle, taking them all in.
She came to a stop right before the Fate, who tilted its head down to rest vacant hollows right on her. Desperation burned through her, escaping into the air with every short puff of breath leaving her lungs.
"You can see me?" she asked.
Luella had thought but hadn’t been sure—she didn’t know if it was a good thing to be seen by the Fate or not.
The Fate nodded. "I see all."
"What about them?" She jerked her head to the others.
"No. They cannot see you here," the Fate said.
Graves gave a quiet mumble behind her, and Bastian replied with a soft, "I don’t know."
"Who are you talking to?" Luella heard King Vale’s booming voice and turned. His eyes were narrowed into slits as he questioned the Fate.
"Someone of profound importance," the Fate replied. "Someone you will come to know… and have."
A litany of questions filled the room, curious and furious as the inquiries swarmed around her.
The Fate turned its attention back to Luella. "It’s time for you to go now."
As soon as the words were uttered, she was forced back by an invisible wind, stumbling, stumbling, heels digging into the floor to stop it, but Luella was forced against the door. It swung open with a wave of the Fate’s hand, and Az shouted in confusion from the slam.
It closed with a resounding boom, Luella outside the confines of the Fate’s lair once more.
She banged her fists against the wood, screaming, "Let me in! Answer me!" Bang . "Tell me how to get out of this place!" Bang .
Her pounding grew fainter as her arms tired. Luella pulled her swollen and bloodied fists back, clutching them to her chest.
Head hung low, her hair cascaded over her shoulders. Tears tracked down her cheeks.
Something brushed against her nape. Soft brushes over her chilled skin, sweeping against her cheeks.
Luella jerked her head up, turning quickly.
Only to be met by a sight that made a strange relief wash over her.
The stardust was back!
"Oh," she breathed. Her voice was thick with tears.
Swirls of purple and black brushed over her cheeks, warming her skin. She hadn’t realized how terrible it felt to be ignored. Hadn’t realized how much she yearned for touch and connection until it had been taken from her— again .
Raised without soft, casual touches, Luella had never expected to rely so much on them. Not until she had lived with Az’s careful hands, stroking down her arms, or even Bastian’s cool touch against her cheeks, and Graves tucking her hair behind her ear with gloved fingers.
She tried not to think about King Vale’s palms resting on her waist as he spun her about the ballroom. Or Tharen’s hand gripping the base of her throat with a barely controlled possessive anger.
Luella carded a hand over the wispy stardust, and at the first brush of her fingers against it, her feet were swept out from under her. And again, she fell through…
Nothingness.