A Chance in a Million (The Chances #5)

Chapter Seventeen

February 5, 1840

S he was not going to be upset. She was not. She was going to read this book, and not be upset.

Victoria carefully turned a page of the book she was holding up in front of her, whatever it was, and sat in complete silence.

There. That wasn’t so hard. Just read this book about…spiders? What on earth had she picked up?

Turning the book in her hand, Victoria was astonished to find the spine read A Compendium of the Arachnids of South America .

Ah. Well. How was she to know the book she had been reading for the last twenty minutes had been about spiders? Certainly not her.

A genteel clearing of the throat occurred on the other side of the room and Victoria rolled her eyes as she lowered her book. “You wished to say something, Mother?”

Mrs. Ainsworth was seated with her embroidery in her lap. “I wondered whether you wished to speak about what happened, dear.”

“No, thank you,” Victoria said smartly, lifting up the book to her eyes once more and delving into the fascinating topic of—oh, bother. Spiders.

Ah well. Beggars couldn’t be choosers. That, she well knew.

“Oh, Thomas, you really are dense. You think I didn’t know you were pursuing me for my money?”

Pushing aside the memory sternly, as though it had trespassed onto her pleasant and calm afternoon, she also put aside the thoughts of the three letters, now nothing but charred ashes in her bedchamber grate, which had borne the Chance seal. She had not bothered to read them. Why should she? What could Thomas—what could Lord Cothrom say in a letter that he had been unable to say to her face?

No, it was best that the letters were gone, along with any hopes she could be happy.

No one knew for certain he had been in her bed, and fewer people even suspected. She could still marry someday. If she ever wanted to marry. She didn’t need to marry. Her father had left her a fortune, so why did she even care?

Victoria tried to make herself read the lines of blurry text before her.

Blurry text?

Oh. She was crying again.

No matter. Victoria had grown quite accustomed to hiding her tears from her mother the last few days, so it took just a slight twist of her wrist to dislodge her handkerchief. Bringing it up to her eyes was easy, as the book was covering her face and making it impossible for her mother to see precisely what she was doing. All she had to do was dab gently, like so, and—

“I would have thought that handkerchief would be sodden by now. I hope you have not caught my cold on top of everything else.”

Victoria allowed her book to fall into her lap. “No, Mother. And I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know, and I am sorry,” said her mother, and she truly did look sorry, too. “That is why what is about to happen is so unfortunate.”

What is about to happen? “What are you—”

“You see, I spotted her from the corner of my eye. I did not mean to,” said Mrs. Ainsworth serenely. “I would not have known it was her, of course, except that I had most particularly asked Mrs. Howarth to point out any member of the Chance family to me, just two days ago. How was I supposed to know that you and His Grace would—”

“Mother,” Victoria said, trying her best to keep her temper and wondering what on earth her mother was babbling about. “Who have you seen?”

Not the dowager duchess, please. Victoria had done a very good job, she thought, of holding herself together the last few days. Tears, yes, and a slight amount of sobbing, but nothing that would strike someone as out of the ordinary, considering.

“You’re not even going to let me attempt to explain, are you?”

“There is no explanation!”

But if Thomas—if Lord Cothrom’s mother turned up on her doorstep, begging her to take her son back because the family was in such dire need of funds, Victoria knew precisely what she would say to her.

Probably.

“I don’t want to see the Dowager Duchess of Cothrom,” Victoria said, a little more fiercely than she had intended. “Mother, you will have to send her away. Tell her—”

The doorbell rang and Victoria’s voice halted in her throat.

Oh, this was beyond what she should surely be expected to endure. Was it not bad enough that the man had chosen her on a whim, barely concerned with who or what she was? Did she have to suffer merely because Thomas Chance, the man she had thought she’d loved—and more importantly, he whom she had convinced herself had loved in her return—was desperate to get his hands on her dowry?

Would this pain ever cease?

“The thing is my dear, it wasn’t the dowager duchess,” her mother said, dropping her voice now to a whisper as the sounds of light conversation in the hallway drifted under the door. “It was—”

“Lady Maude Chance,” said Mrs. Stenton triumphantly, as though she were presenting them with a gift.

Victoria lurched to her feet, A Compendium of the Arachnids of South America dropping to the carpet with a dull thud.

Lady Maude? Thomas’s sister?

But their housekeeper was hardly going to lie about such a thing, and indeed, when she curtseyed and retreated back into the hallway, it was Lady Maude who appeared in the room.

A beautiful pink day dress on, she was laughing breezily, her ringlets bouncing as she stepped into the room. As well she might laugh . It was not her heart that was broken.

“Miss Ainsworth, how delighted I am that you are home,” said Thomas’s sister with a broad smile.

“I’m not,” Victoria snapped.

It was a foolish thing to say and sadly, there was no way to take it back. Both her mother and Lady Maude raised an eyebrow.

“Indeed,” the younger woman said dryly as she brushed some invisible wrinkles out of her skirt. “So I see.”

“Well you must excuse me, Lady Maude,” said Mrs. Ainsworth cheerfully as she placed her embroidery on her seat, rising in a rush of silk. “I need to see to the kitchens.”

“Mother,” Victoria said quickly.

She couldn’t be thinking of leaving, could she? Abandoning her, right when she needed to defend herself against whatever Lady Maude had come to say.

Not that Victoria had anything to apologize for, naturally.

She pulled herself upright. “Lady Maude, please do not stay too long, I would not wish you to trouble yourself.”

“I will stay as long as necessary, Miss Ainsworth,” said Thomas’s sister, with the same steely glint she’d seen in her brother’s eyes. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Ainsworth.”

Victoria’s mother helpfully waggled her eyebrows over Lady Maude’s shoulder before she closed the door behind her, causing Victoria to groan and Lady Maude to jerk her head back.

“I did not realize my presence would be that unwelcome.”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just… Well, my mother was being a tad silly,” Victoria said helplessly. “Please…sit.”

Well, what else could she say? “Please go away, I never want to see you again?” “Your brother broke my heart and I didn’t even realize that was possible?” “I will never get over him and now I am ruined for other men?”

Not really the sort of thing one said to a woman one had met fewer than a handful of times.

Lady Maude said nothing for a moment, seating herself in an armchair close to the sofa upon which Victoria sank. Victoria’s foot nudged the book, but she did not pick it up. How could she care about such things when she was going to have to face this most embarrassing conversation?

“This is embarrassing, isn’t it?” Lady Maude said conversationally, as though she visited spurned lovers of her brothers all the time.

Victoria’s pulse skipped a beat. Perhaps she did. Maybe this was all nothing but routine for this family.

“I don’t particularly want to see you,” she said coldly, trying to keep her shoulders down and her back straight.

Far from being insulted, Lady Maude appeared to be amused, her small mouth quirking on one end. “No, I don’t suppose you do, but I am afraid there is no other option. You wouldn’t reply to my letters.”

Her lips parted in astonishment. “‘Letters’? But you haven’t sent… I haven’t received any—”

“I know you have, Miss Ainsworth, so there is no point in dissembling,” said Lady Maude calmly, interlocking her hands atop her lap. “I sent a footman around especially to ensure they didn’t get mislaid in the post. You did not reply. Did you even read them?”

Victoria’s mind was whirling as she saw again the image of the Chance seal melting as the paper charred.

The Chance seal—yes, but they would all use it, wouldn’t they?

“They were from you?”

“I should have thought to use a different seal, I suppose, but there it is. I presumed you would want to read them precisely because they could be from Tommy,” Lady Maude said with a wry smile. “He did not have the opportunity to properly explain himself, you see.”

Victoria’s resolve had been softening, but it hardened again at her words.

“He had plenty of time to be honest over the last month, I think you’ll find,” she said stiffly. “And—”

“You see, my brother had a very good reason to spend all that money,” interrupted Lady Maude with a rueful look. “He is still a fool, naturally, as it wasn’t his money to spend.”

“I don’t want to hear about how he almost won his bets, Lady Maude,” Victoria said, heart wrenching. “And I wish he hadn’t sent you. I believe I made myself perfectly clear to him.”

“My brother hasn’t sent me, Miss Ainsworth,” said her guest softly. “He does not know I am here. In fact, he made me promise faithfully I would not communicate with you at all, so I beg you to listen to me.”

Victoria’s stomach lurched, a painful twist that sparked up her ribcage and across her shoulder blades.

He didn’t know Lady Maude was here? Why, what other secrets could be unfolded? Worse, why would his sister lie to him to come here?

“Tea!” trilled Mrs. Stenton, bursting in with a tray. “I took the liberty of selecting a few biscuits, Miss Victoria. I thought as how you are entertaining your future sister-in—”

“Thank you, Mrs. Stenton,” Victoria said hastily. She did not need to have said aloud the very close connection she and Lady Maude would have shared, had it not been for Thomas’s rash foolishness.

She swallowed hard as the housekeeper placed down the tray, twittered on for a bit about how delightful it was to be hosting such a refined lady, then bustled out, leaving the two ladies in silence.

It was Lady Maude who broke it. “You haven’t told her.”

“I have told her more times than I can count, but I am afraid Mrs. Stenton refuses to believe it.” Victoria’s mouth was dry as she spoke. Mrs. Stenton no doubt assumed what the housekeeper could not prove had happened that night. Assumed there was no way Victoria could get out of this marriage now. Why did she have to suffer through this indignity? Such a shame her good manners overruled her. “Tea?”

“Please,” said Lady Maude quietly. “You still love him, then?”

It was fortunate indeed that Victoria had only lifted the teapot up a few inches from the tray. Still, a globule of tea dropped onto a saucer.

“He is no spendthrift, truly,” his sister persisted. “He had a good reason to spend the money.”

“Gambling is not a sufficient good enough reason, not in my book,” Victoria said, hardly believing she was having this conversation. She passed over the cup of tea in a saucer—not the one onto which she’d dribbled the tea. “Biscuit?”

“Delightful,” said Lady Maude, accepting the offering. “But you have to listen to me, you know.”

She didn’t have to do any such thing—but it struck Victoria that it was probably the easiest way to get rid of her. Listen to the nonsense the sister would spout out, then vow never to see, speak to, or even think of the brother again.

“Fine.”

It was not the warmest of invitations to continue conversing, but her rudeness did not appear to be the reason Lady Maude hesitated.

“I… It’s not my place to tell Tommy’s secret.”

Victoria could not help but snort. “How convenient.”

His sister’s cheeks colored, some of the passion and confidence seeping away. “He does not even know I know. I only found out by mistake. If you could just ask him about—”

“Absolutely not,” said Victoria firmly, reaching firmer ground. Yes, she knew how the conversation would go now. Lady Maude would ask, she would decline, then Thomas’s sister could return home with a clear conscience knowing she had tried. “If that is all, Lady Maude…?”

“It is most certainly not all,” the woman said fiercely. “And I think you should ask him about it. His reasons are far nobler than you think. Not that I think you’ll get a coherent word out of him at present.”

Victoria could not help it. She leaned forward, teacup and saucer remaining untouched in her hands. “Why?”

Her curiosity was rewarded.

“Because he is utterly distraught, that’s why,” Lady Maude said blandly. “Honestly, I have never seen Tommy like this since Harold died.”

Goodness, he was that upset? Who was Harold? An uncle? A childhood friend? “You are telling me that he is acting as though he has been bereaved?”

“Harold was his favorite, the most excellent pointer he ever—”

Victoria sagged back against the back of the sofa. “Oh, good. You are comparing me to his dog.”

“I didn’t—I am just saying, I can’t get a sensible word out of the man, and he’s driving us all to distraction with his weeping and mooning!” Lady Maude’s cheeks were red now. “My brother may think he’s clever, but he’s not, is he? You were leading him on the chase, pulling the strings, weren’t you?”

It was a strange sort of accusation, but not one she could refute. Because she had been, hadn’t she? Pulling the strings, making Thomas Chance fall in love—or so she’d thought. She’d known his little plan—perhaps not how it had begun, certainly, but the end result had been the same. Thomas had wanted to marry her dowry, and she had let him court her with just such an ending in mind.

Leading him on the chase, pulling the strings…

It gave Victoria no pleasure to nod. “I-I was.”

Lady Maude sighed as she bit into her biscuit and placed the rest on her saucer. “It gives me no pleasure to admit this to you, Miss Ainsworth, but that boy is absolutely head over heels in love with you, and it’s destroyed him, this tiff.”

“It is not a tiff !” Victoria said hotly. “How dare you?”

“How dare I?” Her guest did not even blink an eye. “I know what it is to lose love, Miss Ainsworth.”

Victoria had readied herself to refute the nonsense Thomas’s sister was next going to throw at her, but it was difficult when the woman looked so…sad.

As though she truly knew, truly understood how Victoria felt.

“I know what it is to lose love, Miss Ainsworth.”

How could she? She was known to be past her prime, a spinster by definition, if she had been lower-ranking. Victoria had not heard any gossip about any gentlemen courting the only daughter of the Duke of Cothrom in the years before her own debut. And she was only a sister of a duke now.

She stared curiously as Lady Maude continued to pink.

“Who have you—”

“That is not the point,” Lady Maude said hastily.

Victoria’s curiosity rose and she leaned forward. “Isn’t it? And what is the point, then? Why have you barged into my home and demanded I listen to this nonsense?”

“My point is, Miss Ainsworth, my brother was too easily tricked—”

“I did not trick—”

“Not you, himself,” said Lady Maude with a sigh. “Don’t you see?”

Victoria did not see. The whole conversation had gotten away from her because she could not for the life of her understand what the woman was talking about.

Thomas, trick himself?

After taking a large sip of tea, Lady Maude placed the cup and saucer on the console table beside her. “I will not claim to be an expert in the ways of romance, Miss Ainsworth. Trust me, I am not the sort of person to whom anyone should usually listen when it comes to this sort of thing—but I know my brother. He truly believed, for a short time, that he could just pick a woman out of the air—”

“From a coin toss,” Victoria mumbled.

Lady Maude frowned. “Yes, precisely, then marry her. But my brother is not that mercenary. He only managed to keep going with what he thought was his deception because he truly and honestly fell in love with you.”

It was just the sort of thing Victoria had wanted to hear. Admittedly from Thomas’s own lips, not during a surprise visit from his sister, but still. It would have been so pleasant, so easy to just trick herself into believing Thomas had fallen in love with her.

But he hadn’t. He’d never said so, despite multiple opportunities, and when the truth of her “selection” had come out, what had he said?

No words of love, no declarations of affection, not even an apology.

No, he had attempted to justify himself, then accused her of manipulating him.

Victoria swallowed. “I don’t want to hear any more. Thomas—”

“You love him,” Lady Maude said softly. “Why are you fighting it?”

“Because if this is what love feels like, if this is the consequence of love, then I don’t want it!”

Victoria had not intended to shout, had not thought she would so swiftly reveal the thought she had buried deep inside, but it poured out without any control.

Lady Maude was staring. “Oh, Miss Ainsworth.”

“You think I want to feel this way? You think I want to feel this alone, this betrayed, this abandoned?” Victoria laughed bitterly, half a sob stifled by her deep intake of breath. “I was so easily selected and so easily cast aside. You are here, but where is Thomas? If I meant anything to him, if this between us was real, why is he not here? Why would I not fight this when it gives me naught but pain?!”

Lady Maude spoke softly. “The likelihood of two people finding happily ever after immediately, without any hiccups or confusion. The odds must be—”

“One in a million?” Victoria tried to laugh, but it once again sounded more like a sniffle. “Please, Lady Maude. You may return home, conscience clean. Don’t expect anything more than that.”

She rose, hoping to indicate by the simple movement that this interview was at an end.

Lady Maude remained seated, defiance in her eyes. “You tricked each other, Miss Ainsworth. My brother managed to trick himself and he’s a fool if he doesn’t—”

“And yet he doesn’t.” Victoria waved a hand around the room. “Do you see him? Would not a man in love be here, fighting for the woman he loved, fighting for this ‘one in a million’ your family appears obsessed with?”

Her guest rose with pressed lips. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Miss Ainsworth. Love should never be abandoned, just because it is not easy.”

“Is that what you did?” Victoria shot back, pushed now beyond all endurance. What did this woman think she was doing, marching into her home and making demands of her? “Abandon love when it got difficult?”

She had hit the mark. Without another word, Lady Maude’s expression hardened, moving in silence as she strode for the door to the hallway. It slammed behind her. There were only the barest of whispers as the footman no doubt appeared to return the guest’s outwear. A mere heartbeat after that, the front door in turn slammed.

Victoria sat slowly on the sofa in complete amazement. To be fair, it had not been the most polite of sentences, but it surely had not warranted such a response.

And the pain, the loneliness, the agonizing knowledge that she would now spend the rest of her life alone—for she could not bear to wed another, even if no one ever discovered she had given Thomas her honor—poured over her. Victoria dropped her head into her hands and allowed the tears she had fought all morning to overwhelm her.