A Court Bright and Broken (Age of Fae #1)

38. Mine Forever

Chapter 38

Mine Forever

R aewyn

Unable to stop myself, I rose to my tiptoes and kissed Stellon.

Though I hadn’t admitted it out loud, he was right. I did love him—despite the terrible confessions he’d made.

When it came to my own truth-telling, I’d balked at the last second and stopped short of admitting to the assassination plot. When I’d agreed to attend the ball, I hadn’t known that was part of the plan, and I’d never really intended to do it.

Of course I’d have to tell Stellon eventually.

At the moment, I was too caught up in the pleasure of his kiss and the intensity of the feelings he’d caused in me with his declaration of love—and his proposal.

His impossible proposal.

If he abdicated, where would we even go? He’d be as out of place in a human village as I was here in the palace. With the way my neighbors viewed him and his family, he wouldn’t be any safer among them than I was among the Fae.

But it was so tempting to just forget about that reality and let myself sink into sensation. Stellon knew just where to place his hands, just how to move his mouth so that my every thought evaporated in a puff of passion-fueled steam.

Breaking our kiss, he moved his mouth to my neck and spoke to me between maddening kisses.

“Beautiful darling, I want to make you feel things you’ve never felt before. I want to hear you scream my name when you can no longer contain those feelings.”

I nodded, running my hands through his hair as he stripped off his shirt and moved us to the bed. Laying me back on it, he climbed over me and straddled my hips, his knees bracketing my body.

His eyes looked nearly black as he gazed down at me. From this angle, I could see the tattoo he’d been so ashamed of his whole life. It was small, at the very top of his ribcage on the right side. As his glamour wasn’t currently in use, it was black instead of glowing with color.

Unable to stop myself, I reached up to trace it. Stellon’s body shuddered under my gentle touch. He clamped a hand over mine, pressing it flat against his torso.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered. “I am the luckiest man in the world to get to touch you and hold you and kiss you. I want you to be mine forever.”

I couldn’t speak, nearly paralyzed by the sound of his voice and the sight of his powerful body atop mine, his hardness contrasting with my softness.

All I could manage was a breathy, “Please.”

I couldn’t specify exactly what I was asking for, but Stellon gave it to me anyway.

Dropping to all fours, he hovered above me, working his way down my body, touching me and pressing kisses that sank right through my shift and set me on fire, erasing all thoughts apart from his incredible hands and his persuasive mouth.

“I want you so much,” he said.

“I want you, too,” I managed between breaths.

Slowly he inched my shift up and out of his way, urging me to lift my arms so he could pull it over my head.

His sharp inhale hissed loudly in the quiet room as he got a look at me fully unclothed.

“Let me take you now, sweet Raewyn,” he whispered against my stomach. “I know we’re not married yet, but I will be bonded to you for eternity. Then no one will be able to keep us apart. I’ll never be able to be with anyone else, and my father will have to accept you as my princess.”

The words yanked me from the lust-addled state I’d existed in for the past few minutes. Had I understood him correctly?

Feeling like I was swimming for the surface from the floor of a deep ocean, I reached down and slid my hand beneath his chin.

Stellon stopped kissing my abdomen and looked up at me.

“What did you say?” I asked. “You’ll never be able to be with anyone but me if we bond?”

He gave me a drowsy looking smile, still deep in that ocean himself. “Exactly the way I want it.”

That’s what his father had meant when he said the women in the retinue were all that was left to him.

Elves could only have one true mate for eternity.

Stellon tried to go back to those mind-erasing kisses, but I kept my grip on his chin firm.

“But you are immortal. I will die far sooner than you.”

He shook off my protest. “It doesn’t matter. I will count each day with you a treasure, and we will not think of the future, just live every day in paradise while we can.”

As certain as Stellon sounded, I recognized the delusion in his words. It was like being splashed with a bucket of cold water. I sat up and scooted back.

“We can’t do this,” I said. “It’s not fair to you.”

Stellon rocked back on his haunches, running a hand through his hair and blowing out a long breath.

“I should have just kept my mouth shut—or moved it a few inches lower.”

Feeling heat bloom in my face, I tried to focus on the life-and-death matter at hand and not the intoxicating feelings and visual image that produced.

“I never knew that was how it was for Elves. You can only have one bond-mate in your lifetime?” I asked just to be sure.

He nodded, confirming it. “That’s right. And you are the one I want. I’m ready to commit to you for eternity.”

“And it’s not the wedding ceremony that binds you, but… what we were about to do?”

Stellon nodded again, crawling toward me. “What we are about to do.”

“I might never be able to give you children,” I said, distressed. “You said no one knows if Elves and humans can even conceive.”

Lowering his mouth, he started kissing from my knees upward. “Let’s find out.”

I pushed at his head. “Stop that. This is serious.”

He did stop, but he looked perturbed.

“Believe me, I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”

“But you’re not thinking clearly,” I said, understanding his one-track mind completely. “If I can’t give you children, if you produce no heirs, the throne will pass to Pharis.”

“I don’t care,” he said. “I want you more than the crown—more than anything.”

“You should care. Imagine the kind of king he’d be. Think of the citizens of the kingdom. Think of the poor humans who’d be under his reign.”

“We don’t know that my father won’t allow our marriage,” he argued. “We don’t know how he’ll react when he finds out we’ve bonded.”

“Which is why we have to stop. Let’s say he did allow it, and I did become princess and eventually queen when you became king… how will you feel when I die at the end of my normal human lifespan?”

Stellon looked away toward the dark window, clearly not wanting to discuss this.

“Heartbroken,” he said finally. “Destroyed.”

“It could turn you into the same kind of bitter, unfeeling man your father is. You could become like him—maybe even worse.”

His gaze returned to mine, and it was so sad my heart cracked a little. I couldn’t fold now though. I had to do what was right.

Stellon swallowed hard. When he spoke again, his voice was a gaunt whisper.

“But I love you, Raewyn. I need you.”

A mixture of joy and absolute agony filled my chest, wrestling until I feared the adversaries would break through its battle-scarred walls and leave a gaping hole behind.

“And I love you,” I admitted at last on a sob. “Which is why my answer to your question has to be—”

A loud ruckus from the hallway caused both of us to turn our heads toward the wall.

“What’s going on?” I asked, my heart making the quick jump from melted to icebound.

“It’s fighting,” Stellon said, straining to listen. “I put extra guards on the door before coming in here tonight. Sounds like someone’s attacking them.”

Then his eyes came back to meet mine. “Damn Pharis.”

He rolled off the bed and grabbed his sword from the corner where it leaned against a wall.

“He must have broken his promise and told our father about you.”