Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
THEO
E ach step forward feels like a war within me. The bond that ties me to Estee pulls taut, a visceral ache that digs deep into my chest, but I push through it. The castle lies behind me in quiet disarray—a reflection of the chaos I’ve been battling since realizing she was missing. The wreckage doesn’t matter. None of it does, not when Estee is still out there, somewhere, waiting for me.
The beast inside stirs restlessly, demanding action, demanding blood. My hands tremble with the urge to tear down every barrier in my path, but I hold firm. This isn’t who I want to be anymore. Not for Estee. Not for the kingdom.
Jerome’s attempts to calm me had only sparked my frustration earlier, but now his words echo faintly, urging me to think beyond my pain. I let the pulse of rage simmer beneath the surface instead of letting it consume me. My control is fragile but deliberate as I approach the first house in the pack’s village in search of my mate, or anyone who might have seen anything that could tell me more.
“Alpha King Theo,” Zane greets me at the threshold, his stance rigid but his tone measured. He doesn’t flinch, though the tension in his shoulders betrays his apprehension.
I meet his gaze evenly, feeling the weight of my authority and the eyes of my people behind me. “I’m looking for Estee,” I say, my voice steady despite the wild storm within.
“You won’t find her by tearing through your own pack’s homes,” he replies, standing firm in the doorway. “My daughter is asleep inside. She doesn’t need to see her alpha like this.”
I glance past him, seeing the small figure curled up on the couch, her tiny chest rising and falling peacefully. The sight strikes me in a way I don’t expect, piercing through the haze of my desperation.
Zane continues, his voice softer now. “I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. My mate’s mind became broken, and before we could get her help, she disappeared. It almost destroyed me, but Sadie was only a few months old. I couldn’t let the beast win. My daughter needed me, and I needed to be strong for her.”
His words hit with the punch of truth that I can’t ignore. I see myself reflected in the window behind him—not as the alpha I aspire to be, but as the monster I fear becoming. The shadows around my eyes, the unbridled anger in my stance… I’m so close to breaking, just as Orix wants. I can’t let that happen. Worse, Estee wouldn’t recognize this man. She wouldn’t want him.
I take a breath, steadying myself. “Thank you for your words,” I say, stepping back from the door.
Zane nods, his expression softening. “Find your mate, Alpha, but don’t lose yourself in the process. Your people need you whole—not broken by your own fury.”
His words stay with me as I leave, weaving through the village, to go back to the castle. I already know I won’t find answers out here. Coming to search the houses was merely a way to feel as though I was doing something to get me closer to Estee, instead of accepting that I have no damn clue what I’m supposed to do now.
Still, I need to be better. Not only for myself and Estee, but for the people who look to me for strength. The beast inside me howls for destruction, but I silence it with a single thought—Estee needs a man who can lead, not a monster who destroys.
She’s out there somewhere, and I will find her. And when I do, she won’t see the wreckage of a broken king, but the mate she deserves—the one she believed I could be.
I’m almost at the edge of the village when another figure steps out of her home, this one wearing a smile and cackling. “Oh, King Theo. Have you learned nothing? Put your claws away and come inside.”
It’s Elyn, the elder wolf, her gaze sharp, assessing. Her voice is a mocking caress, a challenge wrapped in silk, and I can feel my wolf stir, his irritation bristling beneath my skin.
“I’ve learned plenty,” I tell her as I keep walking toward the castle. “I don’t have time for your nonsense,”
But then her voice stops me cold, slicing through the air with an authority that sends a chill down my spine. “If you want to know where your mate is, I’d suggest you make time, young wolf.”
I whirl to face her. “What did you say?” For her sake, she better not be playing with me. The control I have over my wrath is fragile. As much as I don’t want to lose myself to this fury, I can only handle so much.
Her grin deepens as her eyes gleam with something dangerous. “You heard me.” She steps back, her silhouette framed by the dim light spilling from her doorway.
Feeling as if I have no other choice, I make my way toward her home, hoping this won’t be a waste of my time or that she won’t push me over the edge. Yet, as I step into her doorway, a hidden force traps me within her threshold, and that sends my wolf spiraling.
I can’t move and the sense of loss has my inner beast attempting to force a shift on me. My bones begin to crack, but in the next second, I can’t feel anything. Not physically or even emotionally. The wrath that was surging within me is stolen away, replaced with a nothingness that’s even worse.
“What did you do to me?” I ask, my voice lifeless.
Elyn sits at her table across the room and shrugs. “I’m protecting myself. You might think you’ve hidden yourself from the people, King Theo, but I’ve known exactly who you are since the moment you stole the throne.”
While I glare at the wrinkled woman, I see that glint in her lavender eyes—the look of someone who knows more than she should. More than I’ve ever hoped anyone to know about me.
She stirs something in a mug sitting in front of her. “I’ve been waiting for you to pull your head out of your ass, or at least out of Orix’s,” she says with a chuckle. “It’s been…entertaining, especially with Princess Estee’s arrival, but it’s time for change. Though, it’s funny how things work out. I gave her a new chance at life, and now I have the opportunity to do the same for her mate.”
A snarl rises in my throat. My wolf is furious at the calm arrogance in her tone, but my body refuses to act on my mental commands.
She takes a long pull of her drink, slowly picks up a cloth napkin to dab at the corners of her mouth, and then stands before addressing me again. “Are you ready to be free, Theo?”
“Of course I am. I need to find Estee.”
She shakes her head. “Stubborn alpha. I should’ve known you’d make this difficult. Now, I’m going to release you from the doorway, but you still won’t feel any emotion too strongly. I need you to hear everything I have to say—some of which you won’t like—and I won’t have you destroying my home, you hear?”
“I was keeping myself in check just fine before you baited me,” I say, feeling breathless and weak. “Just tell me where she is.”
She flattens her lips as she walks toward me. “Forgive me for not believing you after all I’ve seen.” Her light purple eyes never leave mine, and she reaches for a small bag that’s tucked into the pocket of her long black skirt. I watch carefully, still unable to move, as she takes a pinch of something then flicks the powder at my feet.
With a heavy breath, my body slumps forward, and I stumble, but as Elyn said, I still can’t feel much, not even the pain of missing Estee. The urgency to find her is still there, but the emotions behind the need are muted.
“For you to save your mate, we need to go back to the beginning, when Orix first sank his claws into you,” she says, stepping around me to close her door. “Come have a seat, and I’ll pour you some tea.”
“What are you?” Even though I want to refuse, I still find myself heading toward the table.
“I’m the pack healer, an elder wolf, and someone you want on your side. Beyond that, who I am is none of your business.”
She busies herself in the small corner kitchen, reaching for a blue kettle to fill a second cup.
“How do you wield the magic you do and still call yourself a shifter?” I’ve used spells myself plenty of times, but I’ve never known another wolf to be able to trap people or control someone as Elyn is with me.
She pats my head as she sets the steaming mug in front of me. “I’m a full-blooded wolf shifter. I merely choose to make friends with those who can elevate my reach. I was born with the power and mind to help heal those who can’t do so themselves. Once I mastered that, I grew curious about what else I might be able to do.”
“And what did you discover?”
She settles into the chair across from me. “King or not, as I’ve already mentioned, that’s none of your business.”
A growl echoes from me, making her raise a brow. “I knew your wolf was powerful, but seeing him this close… It’s a waste you’ve yet to realize his potential after all this time.”
“What do you mean?” Even my confusion seems dulled, yet my inner animal still paces right beneath the surface.
“Did you think Orix just happened upon you, picking you for no good reason?” Her eyes peer into me, making my chest constrict with how much she might actually know.
“How do you know I’m tied to him?” I pause, filled with shame. “How long have you known?”
Her laughter is soft, but it does nothing to lessen my unease. “I’ve known you were compromised since the moment you stepped foot in that castle you now call yours. I could smell the tainted god on you.” Her nose scrunches. “His shadows can’t be hidden from those who are looking.”
“Then, why haven’t you ever said anything? Why did you stand up for me in the market if you knew I was compromised?” My words and heart still feel so flat, yet this conversation is nothing of the sort.
“I’ve lived a long time,” she muses. “Sometimes an old lady just wants some entertainment. Plus, it’s not as if you’ve done anything terrible since doing me the favor of killing Airik. Well, not overtly. You’ve allowed the people to begin to come together. The only thing that hasn’t gone my way since your crowning has been the orphaned children, but it seems your mate is taking care of that.”
Gods, she knows everything. I don’t know how and I don’t presume she’ll tell me, so I don’t waste my breath asking.
“Where did Orix take her?” Maybe now that everything is out there, we can get back to the task at hand.
She waggles a finger at me. “As I said before, you need to go back to the beginning first. Do you even know who you are? In any of your lifetimes, have you ever truly known yourself?”
This has my wolf snarling again. “We need our mate back.”
Elyn reaches across the table, the warmth of her palm covering my still-clawed hands as she locks eyes with me. Her gaze is intense, unwavering, grounding me in a way I haven’t felt in years. “I will show you how to get your mate, wolf, but this is important. Be patient.” Her words are a balm, seeping through the storm raging inside me, urging calm where there’s only been chaos.
For the first time since I last saw Estee, a sliver of relief settles over me. My body begins to relax, my claws retracting. It feels like surfacing after being submerged in dark, cold water—a shuddering breath of clarity. I nod, signaling my willingness to listen, and Elyn’s expression softens, a brief glint of satisfaction in her eyes.
“Now that we’re all willing participants in this conversation,” she says, clapping her hands once, a sharp sound that slices through the tension, “let’s speed things up. You, Theodore Northcroft, come from a long line of alphas. Your soul has been reborn across lifetimes, carrying the essence of each set of parents, each ancestor, and each wolf that has built the power inside you. I may not have known you in each lifetime, but I know what I’m sensing now.”
“And what is that?” I expect her to call me out on any of the many things I’ve done wrong over the last few years, but instead, her words become the next blow to my already fractured psyche.
“What you’ve yet to figure out on your own is that you’re more god than wolf, Theo.”
Shock fills me, spreading like wildfire through my veins, igniting emotions I haven’t allowed myself to feel in what seems like forever. But before I can let myself hope that this information might help me get my mate back, I need to know more.
“What does that mean exactly?”
She tilts her head, her tone soft but firm, one that leaves no room for doubt. “The answer to that is meant for another day, when we have more time to unravel the intricacies of your heritage. For now, you just need to know that by not understanding who you truly are, you were left susceptible to Orix,” she replies, her words cloaked in a quiet urgency. “He was a lower god, a bastard with no family, and that left a chip on his shoulder. Instead of creating a legacy of his own, he chose a path of terror, lashing out, spreading misery like a disease. For thousands of years, he manipulated, broke, and devastated those around him. Until the other gods had enough. They stripped him of his power, banishing him to the shadows, a place between realms where only darkness resides.”
I shake my head, the information swirling in my mind, trying to find a place to settle. “No, he’s still plenty powerful. He’s in my head. He appears to me whenever he feels like it. Whatever the other gods thought they did, they failed.”
Elyn remains steadfast. “No, Theo. They succeeded. They stole his power, and he’s been tied to the shadow realm ever since—that’s where lost souls reside. Unfortunately, as powerless as Orix is, he’s just as cunning. He knew of your existence and targeted people to ruin you so that your soul would come to him. He broke you so he could attach himself to you, stealing your power for himself.”
My shoulders slump under the weight of her revelation, the gravity of the truth pulling me down, grounding me in the depths of my own failure and ignorance. How could he have been taking my power—a power I never even knew I possessed? Though as Elyn’s words sink deeper, my denial fades, replaced by a cold, steely acceptance, a dark melody that resonates with the pieces of my soul I’d long since buried.
The hold on my emotions shatters, and I’m left exposed, raw, drowning in a storm of grief, rage, and vengeance that threatens to consume me. I grip the edges of the table, my knuckles whitening, as a single, burning desire takes hold.
Elyn’s gaze sharpens, her voice a challenge that cuts through the chaos within me. “Are you ready to reclaim your power, Alpha King Theo?”
I nod, the motion small but filled with determination as I try not to focus on everything I’ve lost. Instead, my thoughts race with all that I’m prepared to do to take everything back.
A slow, knowing smile curves her lips. “Good,” she says with satisfaction. “Because I have a plan. One your wolf is going to love.”