A Dance of Shadows (The Royal Spares #3)

Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty-Three

Aurelia

T he first time the baby kicks, the carriage has just jostled on the road. I think I imagined the faint prodding inside me until it comes again. While the vehicle rolls on smoothly beneath us, a soft jab prods my bladder.

My breath catches with a rush of awe. As I touch my rounded belly, Marc’s eyes jerk to me from the opposite seat.

The thoughtful expression that relaxed his features as he gazed out the window falls away, worry flashing in his eyes. “Are you all right? Do we need to call for a stop?”

I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to that intense concern from the man who just months ago happily threw knives and shot arrows at me. But the moment is giddying enough that I smile without needing to feign my joy. “The baby moved.”

A matching awe dawns on my husband’s face. He shifts forward and then tenses as if he’s afraid of encroaching on me. Another reaction it’s hard to wrap my head around.

“Would I be able to feel it?” he asks.

No further motion has followed the first two gentle jabs. I run my hand across my belly over the new silk dress designed to accommodate its continued growth, and my smile turns apologetic. “I think she’s settled down again. And it wasn’t strong enough to carry right through to the surface anyway.”

I don’t understand why Marc’s stare turns even more intense until he says, “She?”

I open my mouth and hesitate, weighing the impressions inside me. I said it without thinking, but… yes. A part of me feels that I’m carrying a daughter the same way the meaning of the visions Elox sends me sometimes seems so clear.

Marc probably wouldn’t accept that vague an explanation though, so I temper my answer. “Just a feeling I have. There’s no way to be sure.”

The corners of his lips curve upward. “I’m learning to trust your feelings to be accurate more often than not. She. I suppose before much longer, we’ll need to be considering names.”

I balk at the suggestion with the instinctive defiance that she’s mine to name, and Bastien’s, and certainly at least two other men’s opinions matter more to me than the one sitting across from me. I obviously can’t admit any of that.

“We will,” I say mildly. “But there are months to go yet. The right name may come to us without even pondering the matter.”

Marc’s attention lingers on me more intently than it has since we left Rodrige a few days ago. During our carriage rides, he’s mostly been absorbed in his usual reading and plan-making other than bits of friendly conversation here and there.

The affection shining in his eyes sends an uneasy tingle over my skin.

He’s taken my remark about my preferences in the bedroom to heart. Now that my shoulder only twinges when I stretch it, he’s invited himself to my chambers twice—thankfully both at times when I could nick him with my ring without worrying that it’d look odd for him to doze off.

If he gets it into his head to start a seduction in the carriage, I’m not going to have that escape. I can’t say his kisses and caresses have been outright unpleasant the way his twin’s so often are, but to have this man who’s tormented me in the past so close… To accept him into my body without tensing up…

Gods willing, I’ll never have to navigate that problem.

To my relief, he simply leans back against the cushioned wall and folds his hands on his lap. “You know, I think it’s your turn to do the educating.”

I blink, my mind taking a second to catch up. “How do you mean?”

“We’re heading into your home country now. I’ve never visited the wilds of Accasy. Getting to Costel is going to take another couple of weeks, but you could start laying out everything it might be useful for me to know now.”

So he can mention my insights to Linus and consign my kingdom to an even more dire fate than his twin already intends?

As I grapple with what to say, Marc’s voice softens. “Why don’t you start with what you like most about the country? As well as you’ve made a place for yourself in Dariu, I can’t imagine you were eager to leave every part of your home behind.”

I wasn’t eager to leave any of it behind, but I can’t say that.

A lump rises in my throat at the gentleness of his words. How much of that compassion is real?

I still can’t tell how much he truly cares and how much he’s simply cajoling me so I’ll be more agreeable later.

He did ask, though, and my answer to his question shouldn’t lay the groundwork for any harmful schemes. Let’s see what I can say that might stir more admiration.

I let my mind drift into my memories of my last months in our palace in Costel, the comforts I turned to while we waited for the imperial representative to arrive to evaluate me and then for the emperor’s response.

“It is wild. There are dense forests around all the cities and towns, and the mountains to the south and east. Even in the capital, the surrounding hills have plenty of cliffs and crags.”

“It sounds formidable,” Marc says. “But you like that.”

I clasp my hands together in front of me. “Yes. One of the main philosophies in Accasy is that the elements that bring danger into our lives also work in our favor if we understand them. The trees offer wood for building and burning. Climbing the hills may be treacherous if you’re ill-prepared, but they shelter our city from the worst of the winter storms. There’s a beauty to wildness when you align yourself with it rather than resisting.”

Marc cocks his head. “I suppose that’s not something we’ve had to think about much in Dariu, as temperate and moderate as the climate and terrain tend to be. I wouldn’t take you for much of a mountain climber, though.”

I can’t hold back a laugh. “Well, no. But I have always enjoyed roaming through the forests and the gentler inclines near the palace. There’s also a sense of peace and a clearing of the mind that comes with the overwhelming presence of the natural world.”

“Were you often off on your own, then?”

“I wouldn’t say that. Only when it suited me. I’m close with my family, and I have good friends in the court. We always had some project in the city or elsewhere in the country to occupy us.”

I expect him to pry for more details about my dynamic with my parents or their approach to ruling. Perhaps that’s going to come later. For now, he simply says, “You must have missed them these past months.”

The lump in my throat expands. I’ve let myself think of what I left behind less and less the longer I’ve remained amid the Darium court. Wallowing in homesickness would only make my situation harder to bear. And I’ve found new joys with the men I’ve fallen for.

My husband’s statement isn’t wrong, though.

He likes me strong, but my moments of vulnerability have brought out his protective instincts. I keep my voice mild but allow a little sadness to color it. “Of course. But I’ve started to make new friends, and I have you. It isn’t as if I was unprepared. I grew up knowing that I’d leave to join whoever my husband turned out to be.”

There’s so much fondness in Marc’s smile that my heart aches at the thought of what this marriage could have been, if he weren’t so many things other than fond. “I’m glad you’ve settled in with us so well, but I look forward to hearing more about—and meeting—the people who mattered to you before.”

I’m not sure I’ve ever told a greater lie than, “So do I.”

Gods help us all once the emperor arrives in Accasy.

Marc lifts his hand to the window as if gauging the temperature. The breeze that wafts in holds a hint of coolness, but I’ve been comfortable so far without my cloak.

“We’ve managed our timing well enough, don’t you think?” he says. “Only halfway through autumn. I expect we’ll be out of Accasy again before the winter snows without any trouble.”

“We should be.” Thank the gods. I welcome the excuse not to inflict the Darium court on my people any longer than necessary.

Another thought occurs to me with a tickle of warmth through my chest. “We’ll be in Costel for my birthday.”

Marc sits up straighter. “How fitting. I should have kept that in mind. It’s the third day of next month, isn’t it?”

The information must have been included in the reports Tarquin’s representative made. Naturally Marc would have committed every detail to memory. I doubt Linus remembers I even have a birthday.

“That’s right.” I drop my gaze. “I don’t expect there’ll be any particular to-do about it. It only just occurred to me.”

“I suppose we’ll see what fits the circumstances.”

A shout from the head of our convoy brings my attention to the scene outside. We’re coming up on the waystation where we’ll take our luncheon.

Once we’ve stopped, I ease out of the carriage to stretch my legs. Marc steadies me with a careful hand on my arm and then strides off several carriages away to confer with High Commander Axius about something.

I drift after him and position myself far enough away that I couldn’t be eavesdropping but near enough that I expect his guards would notice any hostile magic aimed at me. So far no other unlucky “accidents” have befallen me, and I’d prefer to keep it that way.

As our traveling staff hustles to the waystation to join the locals in their preparations, Bianca glides to my side. She rolls her shoulders and primps her hair with a sigh. “As exciting as it is getting to take in so many exotic realms, all this carriage riding does become tiresome.”

I smile in wry agreement. “If any among us had a gift that could transport us from one capital to another in an instant, I’d certainly welcome that talent. But I suspect the body couldn’t endure the sort of sacrifice that immense a blessing would require.”

“Definitely not.” Bianca laughs lightly and then lowers her voice. “I didn’t have the chance to mention this to you sooner… Last night, I overheard my husband and yours and Marchion Blesium joking about Accasy. In a rather insulting way. His Imperial Majesty sounded rather particularly critical. He made a comment about looking forward to watching you all scurry like rats. I don’t know what he meant by that, but it sounded rather alarming.”

Like rats. My skin twitches at the thought of one particular fable set in Accasy that he could have been referring to.

Linus was acting as emperor yesterday. He’ll have been making his plans for his Accasian challenge.

“Thank you,” I say to the vicerine, meaning it. If I can tell my parents quickly enough, we can hope to survive Linus’s lunacy without any severe harm done. “If you hear any other remarks about my home country…”

She dips into a brief curtsy. “I’m at your service. And I’m sorry about Ennius. If I thought he’d listen to anything I have to say about it… His temper didn’t use to be quite so short.”

My throat tightens. “There’s no need for you to apologize about that.”

Bianca manages an airy laugh. “You’re putting up with him because of me. How are you faring with all this travel in general?” Her gaze flits over my belly.

“Not too badly so far.” But my thoughts have stuck on her previous remark. Bianca has been at my service, in so many ways during our travels.

Our history is far behind us now. Have I really repaid her for all the risks she’s taking on my behalf?

“Bianca,” I say tentatively, “I wouldn’t be so arrogant as to think my friendship is enough reward for all the help you’ve offered me. Is there anything else I can do for you —now or once we’re back in Dariu?”

Part of me is worried she’ll take offense, but I should have known better. The vicerine simply knits her brow in thought.

After a moment, she aims a crooked grin at me. “I can’t think of any specific thing I need. As long as I can maintain my position in court, with the respect and prominence it entails, I’m more than happy.”

She’d be even happier without her bullying husband pushing her around… but her position is tied to his. From what she’s said, the estate of her birth was farther down the ladder of nobility.

Is there some way I could remove him without removing the status he’s given her? That would be quite a gift…

“I’ll see to it that you do,” I promise, mulling over the additional possibilities in the back of my mind. Ennius certainly hasn’t acted as any friend to me. It’d benefit both of us to have him out of the way.

Marc rejoins me, taking my elbow. “Your friends should be coming to you rather than the other way around,” he says, aiming a chiding glance at Bianca.

The vicerine flashes him a smile without any hint that I came all the way over here before she did. “I’ll make sure to do that next time, Your Imperial Majesty.”

The servants are just bustling out of the waystation with the platters of our meal. As we head back to our carriage to partake, Bastien strides over to intercept us.

He dips his head to Marc in a swift bow, keeping his gaze fixed on my husband rather than me. “Your Imperial Majesty, there was something I hoped to discuss with you if you have a moment.”

Marc motions for him to go on with a bored expression. “Go ahead and speak, then. We’d like to get to our lunch.”

Bastien offers another bow. “I believe our route is taking us into the northern territories of Cotea before we enter Accasy, to avoid the worst of the mountains? I’d like to request your leave to diverge from the convoy for a day, so I can ride out to where the recent droughts have been worst and call in some rain. I’d keep the inclement weather well away from this procession, of course.”

A pang shoots through my heart. Of course he’d be looking to do what he can for his kingdom while he’s here.

Marc rubs his jaw. “Well, I don’t see the diversion doing any harm. It isn’t as if we have any urgent need of you here. See that you make a prompt return. I’ll send a few soldiers to ensure no one hassles you.”

And to ensure he doesn’t lose his hostage.

As Bastien bobs his head once more in thank you, a request leaps to my lips before I can think better of it. “I’d like to go as well.”

Marc’s head snaps toward me. “What? Why would you trouble yourself?”

I gather my reasoning quickly. “I’d like to understand the needs of the empire and its countries as well as I can. Seeing the exact state of these troubled people should help me think more clearly on their situation.”

And get Bastien’s take on it without my husband’s interference.

With just a small party, I shouldn’t have to worry that any would-be assassins are riding alongside us... I hope. And getting a fuller picture of Cotea’s concerns is worth the risk.

Marc pauses, but he’s always enjoyed seeing me dedicated to my role.

“All right,” he says. “But that means we’ll be sending quite a few more guards.”