Chapter 6
Isat at the large dining table, surrounded by my family and Lady Gelda’s. The organising of my brother”s grand wedding corresponded with the Festival of Light. Mother continued to try and convince Father to allow for the wedding to be on the same day, and each time, Father said no.
He did not want to anger the Goddess of Light by stealing her day for his own son”s selfish needs. Even if it hadn’t been Norok’s idea, but Mother”s. He most certainly didn’t want to get married. Talia and I had already caught him with a few other ladies in the last week or so. Poor Lady Gelda had no idea what she was getting herself into.
Norok, although he would treat her well and kindly, had wandering eyes and hands. He inherited that gene from our uncle on our mother’s side. Dorian had many, many lovers, as well as several wives since I was alive. He and Father were very close, seeing as Dorian was my mother’s older brother, and they were close in age.
Dorian and Father often took counsel together. He was his right-hand man, and often advised him on all matters of the kingdom.
Dorian currently sat next to Father, pulling apart a carcass of something. As he ate whatever meat it was, he licked his fingers before looking at me with a creepy smile.
He always gave me a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, and anytime he visited, I would do everything to make sure I was with Talia at all times. Although we were his nieces, I would have this feeling to be weary of him and protect her. I knew Norok felt the same as he shifted slightly in his seat next to me.
“I am fed up with telling you, Elora. The answer is no, I will not anger the Goddess by using her day as something else. As it is, we are having trouble with our grain this season, and so we must pay homage to her to bring in a good harvest.”
Father’s word was always final, and Mother did not seem to like it as she pushed off from her chair and stormed off. Her ladies in waiting quickly followed her as Lady Gelda’s mother asked to be excused, and she followed Gelda closely behind them all.
“Honestly, has your mother lost her mind?” Father uttered, looking at the three of us.
“I have been asking myself that same question for many years now.” Talia, always quick with her tongue, had both father and Dorian chuckling under their breath.
“Trust me, Talia, I’ve had to put up with your mother all my life, and I myself have asked myself that very question,” Dorian said as he continued to clean off the rest of his carcass.
“Ornella, see if you can talk some sense into her. She will listen to you.”
“I doubt that, Father. It’s Norok’s wedding, maybe he should be the one.”
Looking at my father over my glass of water, I tried not to frown. I most certainly didn’t want to be the one to deal with my mother and her wrath of not getting what she wanted. She would often throw a fit if she was told no, and no one ever wanted to be around when that happened.
“No, you are the most sensible of the three. You will do it.”
“After the last incident with Ornella, do you think she really is the most sensible?”
Norok said sarcastically as he took a sip of his wine. Talia jabbed him in the side of his ribs, which made him choke on it.
“Then, dear brother, go ahead and deal with Mother. It’s your wedding, not mine,” I repeated again.
“Ornella, just do as I ask please, or do you wish for me to command you?”
Father’s voice became stern, and I knew not to anger him as my fate of marriage lay within his hands. I’d already heard him, Dorian, and the rest of the council discussing my ‘virtue’ over breakfast this morning. They were drawing up names of eligible men I should meet, and they were to then decide if I was a fit and well wife. Not wanting to cause an argument, both Talia and Norok lowered their eyes, averting their gaze from our father.
“As you wish, Father.”
Finishing my food quickly, I bowed and headed towards the castle wing, where my mother took up residence. Although she and Father shared the same bed most nights, she had her own private rooms where she could entertain guests, sleep, and spend her days with friends or her children.
Knocking on the door, I was greeted by one of her lady’s maids, who quickly shut it and then moments later returned, allowing me entry.
Mother’s rooms were always decorated in the most delicate colours. Pale pinks, duck-egg blues, and warm yellows were either on the walls or part of the furniture. I always loved coming here as a child, as it reminded me of something right out of a storybook.
“Your father is incredibly frustrating! Going on and on about the Goddess, appease the Goddess, when he should want to celebrate his heir”s marriage!” Mother shouted, waving her hand as I entered the room, before covering her face with the same hand and groaning out of frustration.
She was sitting with both her legs tucked underneath her as she leaned a little over the back of the sofa. The normal pose she did when she was stressed out or panicking.
“You wouldn’t have him any other way though, Mother,” I said, taking a seat opposite her.
Her ladymaids both sat next to her. One of them was rubbing her back, and the other was holding her other hand gently. It did annoy me how much they pandered to my mother’s tantrums. Talia would be like this as well, clearly learning by example. Whereas Norok and I would lose our tempers, shout and throw things just like Father. Only I would end up crying in the end and regret every second of it. As Princess Ornella, I would always need to be composed, or at least attempt to be.
“Ornella, my dear sweet girl, we must have the wedding during the festival. It will make so many of our people happy. They will be able to attend the wedding as well as celebrate our Goddess,” she spoke, swallowing a sob, which I believed to be a little fake.
“Father’s word is final, and I don’t see him changing it anytime soon.”
Mother removed her hand and looked at me dead in the eye as she realised my words. Father would never agree to something with Dorian around. As much as it was my father’s crown, Dorian enjoyed whispering in his ear and pushing things in his own direction. We all knew it happened, and none of us were able to stop it.
“Mother, perhaps when Uncle Dorian isn’t next to Father, you can speak with him then. I’m sure he will be much more agreeable.”
I was grateful Norok stayed away from Dorian, making up his own mind, following Father”s gentleness, but Mother”s charisma and cunningness. Quite frankly, I didn’t believe Dorian did anything with my father in mind. I found him once sitting on the throne, and he quickly made an excuse of cleaning off dust from the stonework.
I never mentioned it to my father, but I always knew deep down that Dorian stayed close to him as he lusted for power—for favour.
“You’re right. I shall speak to him when he comes to bed tonight and we can discuss everything then. This is for the good of our kingdom.”
“Wonderful idea, Mother, you have a great mind.”
Rolling my eyes a little, I stood as I was ready to head back to my quarters and spend the evening corresponding to some of the orphanages I sponsored within the city walls. I had become a part of the committee that helped decorate the city for the festival of light.
Although, Mother was trying to worm her way into having it changed to the wedding of the ‘year’, we were still sticking to our theme of starlight and sunshine. A mixture of deep purples, yellows, silvers, and golds. The drawings we”d made for this year’s celebration flag were delightful, and I couldn’t wait for the people to see them.
“Ornella, before you go, I must discuss something with you. There will be a few suitors arriving tomorrow and the next day. They are seeking your hand in marriage. Now, I know you wish to marry for love, and I understand why, but as a princess of this family, you must be given to the best possible match, not only for protection, but for breeding an heir.”
Sighing at her words, I sat back down, waiting to see what other awful thing she was going to demand of me. I was more than just a woman who could bring children into this world. I was intelligent, witty, and any man would have been lucky to have me as a companion. Or at least, that’s what Kathlyn would like to tell me most days.
“Just be on your best behaviour and dress appropriately. I want only the best for you, my sweet.”
She cupped a hand against my cheek to show some form of affection. I leaned into it, playing the part before she clicked her fingers. A glass of wine was brought to her instantly as she looked me up and down.
Although my Mother could come across as cold and distant, this was mostly her way when she was around people, friends, and her maids.
To my siblings and I, and of course, Father, she had a softer touch to her, buried deep within. I knew sometimes her harsh edges were just for show and deep down, I hoped she understood I wanted a love match and not just a match of convenience. She was lucky enough to have married Father. Being a lady from another court, she fell lucky with her match.
“Yes, Mother. Of course, I will make sure Kathlyn pulls out my best dresses that aren’t too flashy and show I am very humbled.”
We had been through this before, with previous lords who would arrive at court hoping to seek my hand. It was only Lord Aston that I actually attempted to get along with. Purely so Mother could stop badgering me. It did help however, that he was just a few years older than me, enjoyed reading and horse riding. He seemed to be the youngest out of the bunch of suitors I was given.
Thinking about him pulled my heartstrings a little. We had not seen each other for nearly two years, so it was difficult for me to recall what he looked like. We’d written a few times back and forth, but over the last five months, his letters were few and far between. Perhaps his family simply said he had died so they could be spared this marriage, and he instead married another royal from another kingdom.
My mind soon wandered as Lord Cole’s face popped up. He was handsome, striking even, and I wondered if he would be in attendance tomorrow. He was here, after all and seemed to be of good standing. Not to mention, very easy on the eyes.
Smiling a little at that thought, I was grateful when Mother shooed me away and I headed back to my rooms. My mind was lost in the clouds with the possibilities of speaking with Lord Cole once again. The flower he’d gifted me sat beautifully in a single steamed vase on my vanity. I, of course, told everyone a little girl had gifted it to me to avoid questions.
As the sunset beautifully, against a backdrop of orange, yellows, and lovely shades of pink, I leaned over my balcony’s stoned ledge, holding a glass of wine as I took in the view.
Still, the preparations for my brother’s wedding were going ahead. Many of the castle staff made their way through the courtyard, carrying boxes, tall plant pots filled with white roses, and other things that were needed for the celebrations.
I had spent the last hour writing my letters and was happy no one summoned me. Or that Talia hadn’t shown up to berate me into telling her about my conversation with Mother.
Kathlyn had been and gone. I was already dressed for bed in a cotton white dress that grazed my ankles, and a sheer pink wrap that kept the spring chill at bay. I was set for the night and did not wish to be disturbed until morning.
Once morning arrived, it would mean my duties were to start. I continued to think about what my shadow man had said. I already knew his name, and I couldn’t put my finger on who it could be. I knew everyone at court, but then again, many kept their secrets and didn’t always show their true nature at court. Which meant it could be anyone.
“Your highness, I have readied your bed. If I may…”
One of my lady’s maids was still in my chambers, preparing my room ready to sleep, and part of me wished I didn’t need her. That I could take care of myself, and yet, it gave her life purpose, which saddened me. Once I ran my own household, I would make sure all the maids and staff of my home were paid a fair wage, were given freedom, and enjoyed working.
“Yes, thank you, Lea, it is appreciated. You may be excused, and I will see you tomorrow.”
I didn’t look to see when she left, which was rude of me, but I was exhausted from talking to people today. My mouth hurt from keeping that ‘princess smile’ on. Even during my lessons, I always had to be dignified and appropriate. In my bedroom and when I wandered into the woods, I felt more like myself.
“Do you like it here, my princess?”
Turning around swiftly, my heart fluttered as a voice almost growling, whispered in my ear. Where did the voice come from? Looking around frantically, I couldn’t see anyone else standing on the balcony, it was just me.
“Where are you?” I asked, hoping it was just the man I had not been able to stop thinking about.
“Hidden. I heard your call. Do you wish for me to take you now?”
No, this had to be my imagination. My head was always imagining things that I was made to believe existed. Yes, that was it. I had created this shadow man out of my desperation to wish to not live my life anymore. To be rescued, and to live a different one.
“It hurts me so deeply that you do not believe me to be real.”
“You can’t be real. No, you’re not. It’s just my mind playing tricks on me.”
In my heart, I wanted to believe he was real, and not just someone I had dreamt of one night. He would be the answer to so many things if I ever wished to escape.
“I will show you how real I am then.”
Suddenly, his shadow began to envelope the doorway back into my bedroom. His form took shape as he stood there, still cloaked, hiding his true identity from me. Which still proved nothing to me, it was clearly my mind and the wine playing tricks on me.
Walking towards him, I had half a mind to walk through him, and as I tried to do that, his fingers wrapped around my wrist and I dropped the glass, shattering it.
“Does this not feel real?” His voice was almost pleading.
“It’s just my mind,” I answered, trying to pull away, but he only tightened his grip more.
“Do you think I want to be here? Little girl! You keep calling to me!”
His voice took a turn, growing darker as his eyes flashed red, and I began to feel the pain as he held tightly onto my wrist. This couldn’t be real, surely. The first time we met, I was asleep and the second time, I was disoriented and lost in the woods. But right now, his warmth against my skin felt as if it were truly there.
“Let go of me,” I begged softly.
“You asked for me to save you, and I am here!” he hissed.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
“Don’t play dumb with me, princess.”
“I am not! I do not know what you speak of!” I shouted.
He finally let go and stepped out of my way. I raced into my bedroom, fearing that if I walked past him, he would grab me again and take me somewhere.
Turning back around to see if he was still standing there, I let out a sigh of relief as he disappeared. I felt my heart slow until his hand snaked around my waist and the other around my throat. He stood behind me and seemed to breathe deeply against my back.
“You smell divine,” he whispered, his warm breath caressing my neck and ear.
I froze. No man had ever come close to me like this. I stood there shocked but slightly intrigued as to how this would play out. My breath seized in my chest. While my mind pleaded for me to scream, I remained frozen in place.
“For so long, I have watched you from afar. I want you. I want to taste you. Then you called to me—begging for me to rescue you from this life. To take you far away, but when I offer it to you, you shove me away.”
His hand tightened a little around my neck as his other hand wrapped around me more, pulling me closer as he breathed me in. When he nipped at my earlobe, I felt my cheeks heated and my heart began to beat faster again.
“I do not know what you are talking about. I have never met you in my entire life or asked for your aid.”
He laughed a little under his breath before releasing me, causing me to stumble forward. Lost for words. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I heard all sorts of stories of men getting what they wanted from women. Was that about to happen to me?
“In due course, everything will become clearer to you,” he said before disappearing right in front of my eyes. “For now, I will be the only one to know the truth.”
Fear welled up inside me as a bead of sweat trailed down my back. He wasn’t in my room anymore as he spoke, or at least I couldn’t see if he was. He may have gone back into hiding within the darkest corners of my room. Which made me even more afraid to sleep.
“Are-are you g-going to hurt me?” I asked, my voice shaking.
He laughed again but did not show himself to me. His chuckle sent shivers down my spine.
“If I wanted to, I would have already.” He paused as if thinking it over, then added, “No, I will not hurt you—for now.”
And then silence. It was as if my body knew he had disappeared, and as I fell to my knees, heaving, anxiously trying to draw breath to calm myself, I started to cry.
“I will see you soon, my princess,” he whispered.
Feeling his breath against my neck made the tears come to an immediate stop. My back went rigid, and for the next hour, I sat on the floor, holding myself tightly until I felt it was safe enough to climb into bed.