A Dance Of Twilight: (A Fae Dark Fantasy Romance Stand-Alone )

Chapter 52

Iwasn’t sure if it was a dream or real. I’d lost track of time already while wandering the castle grounds, unsure of where I was headed, allowing my feet to guide me into the wilderness. The Obsidian Castle sat behind me, concealed in shadow and mist from the light rain that fell.

I suspected Vanessa had something to do with the weather, after finding out she controlled a lot of it in this valley. I wondered what light rain meant. Was she feeling sadness for what happened in the throne room? Did she feel any penance or sorrow for the pain she’d inflicted, the insults she had flung at me?

As if every misfortune, every doom filled memory for her family was caused by me, by my own family. When the Goddess of Light would only give us what she believed we could handle. The events that had fallen upon Nicholas and his family were awful, and if my family had anything to do with it, I would do everything in my power to apologise and fix the broken hearts of this family that was now mine.

However, I’d always believed everything happened because it needed to, one’s destiny or fate, something that was written down on the Goddess’s parchments of what would happen and what had passed.

What would come to be…This war would come to pass and if I survived it, I did not know where my place would be in this world, whichever side came out on top.

Stepping through the tree line, I could hear the sound of waves crashing ahead of me, the smell of salt filled air brushing against my skin as my eyes adjusted to the light. The sun was lowering over the horizon, with the moon making its nightly greeting.

My dress was still stained with the blood of my once friend, and as I wrapped my arms around myself, a chill circled me. Vanessa’s rain slowly disappeared and yet, the wind picked up slightly.

I’d been walking for what felt like hours, but neither my body or feet ached. I felt light, as if my worries were being lifted with each step into the sand. Without even thinking, I kicked off my shoes to feel the cold, soft sand between my toes and headed towards the shoreline.

Just yesterday I was here, falling more madly in love with Nicholas, and now, I was alone. Again.

The water pulled on me as it called out to me. I’d always found peace whenever I was near water. I sat down, my dress became damp as the waves splashed lightly towards me and a sense of calm washed over me.

I wanted to speak to Norok. To explain that my marriage was done to heal him and to keep me out of Dorian’s hands. To explain that I decided to come here of my own free will. My letter only gave the smallest of details.

I did not believe for one second the final part of his letter were his own words. He’d never harm me. But there was still this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. Why was it only Norok who’d sent word? Why not my father?

I ran my fingers along the crescent moon mark on my wrist—the brand Nicholas had given me months ago—it felt sore and bruised. Something had changed between us. I hoped it was for the best. We were finally moving forward with our relationship. But something made me stop, even if we’d been here only last night, I didn’t fully believe his words that he was mine. That he’d agreed to always be mine.

If what Vanessa said was true, their hatred of me ran deep within their veins. I was just his pawn. That piece he wished to play with when it suited him. I’d fallen for his trap, and in doing so broken my own heart.

I stupidly thought after last night, we would settle back into the rhyme we’d created after the wedding, but I was wrong. I should have come clean right from the start. Not sneak into the dungeons and get myself hurt, or at least should have been smarter so I wasn’t harmed. I needed to do better. Be better.

I, however, didn’t wish to beg for someone to love me. I’d known I would always be difficult to love. Unworthy of it, and although he promised me he would take me as I am, would love me for me, he’d lied. He stood there allowing Vanessa to fling words at me and not fight in my corner. He didn”t say a word to defend me. Breaking my trust once more by telling them of my past and what had happened to me. And now I am stuck here. Unless I escaped.

Maybe I could go to Norok. Beg him to leave Nic and his sisters alone. Head home, protect our land, our people and never return here. I didn’t wish Nicholas to come to any harm. I didn’t want any of them to get hurt, but the reason war was coming was because of me and my poorly made choices.

Wiping a tear from my cheek, I tried to keep the emotions boxed in. Under lock and key.

He’d told me himself he did not love me, in more ways than one. How could he love the daughter of his enemy—the murderer of his family? He obviously couldn’t and I didn’t blame him. Not really. I’d be the same if the roles were reversed.

However, after everything that had happened. The cold shoulder, the back and forth, the accusations from Vanessa, my unhappiness. He’d done all of it and for what? For revenge? For punishment? To hurt me?

I hated it. I was falling for him, despite all his flaws. Despite all his harsh words and actions. How foolish of me, how desperate of me to want love from someone as cold hearted and dark as him. Yes, there were moments where he made my knees weak, kissed me with passion, whispered sweet nothings and made me question everything. What if he wasn’t this dark creature from the forest, but the person I’d known all along?

Rubbing my temples, I let out a deep sigh. I felt the cold water seeping into my clothes. Into my very being. I contemplated my next move. I wouldn’t go back if that was the reception I’d wait for. There were two ways I could escape from this, I could get away and reach Norok, hoping Nic wouldn’t follow or…

I looked out at the open ocean, as the waves crashed against the rocks. While the sun finished setting, the rain disappeared, but it wouldn’t have bothered me if it hailed. I was already cold and wet.

Taking a deep breath, the other option was in front of me, beckoning me to come.

It would only take a few minutes and then there would be no reason to fight. I wouldn”t feel any more pain, sadness or sorrow. It would be so easy. Norok would become king and Nicholas would be rid of me. This world would be a better place.

Without me.

Could I really do it? Could I step further into the water and just let go? Let all these feelings overwhelm me and take everything from me?

I’d never felt this lost—this stuck in limbo. I thought that by accepting his offer, sealing that deal with a kiss, my fate was set. I would stand next to him for the rest of my life, happy and hopefully in love.

How wrong was I? How reckless. I was such a fool.

Standing up, I took a few steps towards the open ocean, my breath catching as the cold reached my thighs. Water began to travel up the skirts of my dress and already I could feel the weight of the fabrics pulling me downwards.

Staring at the sun as she said farewell, I felt a sense of calm wash over my entire body. Even if my heart raced and my teeth chattered. I knew deep down this would be the best option for everyone.

Nicholas could come up with some lie. Maybe tell my family I was a martyr as I didn’t wish for war. But then how would he know? I was sure no one followed me as I ran out the door. Which wasn’t surprising as after all, they didn’t owe me anything. We may have become friends, his sisters and I, but they still did not know the full extent to who I was. I kept most of myself hidden away, a boundary.

A few more steps.

The water reached just under my breasts.

I knew how to swim but this dress, already partially wet, was beginning to weigh me down.

Taking me down below the waves.

I would not fight either.

I’d let the current take me.

Now up to my neck and I was finding it hard to keep myself afloat.

Here was the moment.

The moment I would stop fighting and let go of it all.

This feeling of worthlessness and loss.

As one final wave overlapped my head, I took a deep breath in and began to sink. The dress helped, pulling me downwards. My body flung back and forth with the waves, my lungs burned for air, for release until the burning of water seeped through and everything went dark.