35
DAMNED IF YOU DO
ADRIANA
“P lease talk about it?”
Enzo stares at me with eyes the color of darkness and the starlight flowing through them is dazzling. He's been watching me ever since we returned from Hell, concerned I'm not handling what happened down there. It’s been days and Enzo hasn’t taken his eyes off me, making sure I’m cared for in every way.
I shake my head and leave the sitting room. He doesn't follow as I retreat upstairs, finding an oversized sweater to throw on. He won't let me have too much time to myself and my time's already up when I emerge into his bedroom.
“We need to talk, Adriana.”
“What difference will it make?”
He smiles sadly and the boyish charm returns. He's stunningly handsome and I almost lose myself for a moment, forgetting that his beautiful exterior conceals a monster underneath.
“Maybe all the difference in the world.”
Enzo moves toward me and I turn away. He grabs my wrist and I don't fight him. There's no point. I always lose, no matter what I do. I'm resigned to this now I've realized the futility of fighting him. He's just too strong and I never stood a chance.
“Let's go somewhere, baby. We'll talk about whatever you want. I'll explain everything.”
He looks as desperate as he sounds. The timbre of his voice betrays his concern and, for a moment, I wonder if he actually cares. But then I remember that would require empathy—and Enzo doesn't know the meaning of the word.
“Fine.”
A smile lights his face and he pulls me to him. Clearly, he doesn't understand that fine does not mean fine. It means I'm saying whatever you want to hear to shut you up because I'm too tired to argue. I can't be bothered to lose another battle. I don't have it in me to make my wishes known.
“I hear you, baby. Even when you're silent.”
He picks me up like I'm a damsel in distress and I sink against his chest. The asshole purrs and I wish I didn't like it.
“Where are you taking me?” I ask, resigned to this.
“Wherever you want to go,” he says, carrying me down the corridor and through the door that leads to my place.
It's as beautiful as before. As serene and tranquil. As utterly different as the garden while still being paradise.
The sky is a shade of blue that's darker than midnight and stars shoot across it, dancing as they chart a course that is impossible anywhere but here. Cherry blossom falls and the trees are bursts of pink and white and the streams that flow beneath them are broken up by bridges connecting one island to another.
“This place is whatever you need and want it to be, Adi,” Enzo reminds me. “Take us wherever you want.”
He carries me along a path and I stare at the lily pads and reeds that adorn the gently running streams. Gravel crunches beneath his feet as we make our way through the garden. Its reds and greens of the garden contrast but don't clash, and there's balance here. A harmony in the opposition. Equal but opposite in their forces.
“Why are you doing this?” I ask.
Enzo dips his head. “Doing what?”
“This.” I tap his chest. “I've seen you, Amaymon. Why bother hiding it?”
He ducks under a branch and we make our way into the woods.
“I thought you would find this easier, Adriana. You prefer this form. The shock must be quite overwhelming.”
I shake my head, and he stops. Dead.
“I wasn't shocked, Enzo. Or frightened. Or appalled or disgusted or anything else you might be thinking.”
He stares at me in disbelief and for once he's going to accept I'm right.
“Not with you. The thing that attacked me was gross and the others were horrible.” I meet his gaze and refuse to back down. “Particularly the demon with the shiny robes. He was disgusting.”
The corners of Enzo's mouth curl despite his attempts to stop them and a wide smile breaks out over his face. He's amused, but more than that, he's relieved.
“The Oracle is a cunt and I doubt you need to see him again, Adriana.”
The smile that breaks over my face matches his. It's a fucking relief to know I won’t meet that asshole again, although Enzo's been careful enough not to offer me an absolute.
“If you are not frightened of me, is it by me?” Enzo asks. “Was it what I put you through...”
I shake my head.
His eyebrow arches.
“Don't lie, baby.”
“I'm not,” I snap.
Enzo carries me out of the wood, and we emerge at the side of a large lake. The trees reflect in its calm waters and the stars seem to fall into its depths. Fireflies dance over its surface as the moonlight plays with the orange lights, merging silver and gold on top of the lake.
“You like water. We can do water more often, baby,” Enzo whispers, planting a kiss on my forehead. “Adriana, talk to me. You've been distant. It's very clear something is wrong and we agreed you'd be honest with me.” There's a familiar edge to his tone and I eye him carefully as he looks at me. “If you don't talk, I'll take matters into my own hands. It'll bring me little pleasure and you will not like it.”
I groan and roll my eyes. “Why are you such an asshole?”
Enzo draws himself upright and his jaw ticks. “It's my nature. As is punishing you for being a brat. Don't think I'm not counting, sweet girl. You're racking up quite the lashing.”
I swallow, and he smirks.
“Talk.”
“I don't like the way you treat me.”
That eyebrow arches higher and I shift my weight, suddenly uncomfortable.
“Enzo, it was entirely avoidable. All of it.”
His teeth grind and looks to be on the verge of losing his mind. He sets me on the ground and we stare into each other's eyes, and I cave without a fight as his will overpowers mine.
“I mean, most of it. The bits I didn't like.” I tip my head back and look up at the night sky, hoping someone answers my prayer. “I didn't mind fucking in public. You're there and I feel safe. I mind not knowing about things. I mind the fucking surprise.”
“You didn't mind being fucked in public?”
I shake my head.
“Or me using a leash?”
I shake my head again.
“Or even being fucked in the cunt and the ass at the same time?”
For a third time, I shake my head.
“I minded not having a choice about seeing you for the first time and not knowing it was going to happen. I hated those assholes feeling what we have. And I'm pissed you're still hiding things from me.” I clench my hand into a fist and Enzo spots it. “You keep saying there's no escaping this, but you won't tell me what the fuck is going on. And something is very clearly going on.” I'm ranting and I don't care anymore. “Because you fucked off to Hell and a demon almost killed me in your goddamn house. After an army of them tried to in that nightclub. So what the fuck is it you're trying to stop killing me, Lorenzo? For the love of God, just tell me, because then at least I won't be unprepared for whatever the fuck it is.”
He runs his hands through his jet black hair and walks away, taking a few steps toward the water's edge. He kicks his heel into the ground and the waves keep coming, lapping against his shoes as the inevitability of this conversation dawns on him.
“Hell is a hierarchy, and a very long time ago, there was a vacancy in one seat of power. I won it but acquired enemies—one of whom is, or was, called Mordecai. His power was almost as great as mine, and our rivalry grew. Lucifer played us against each other, favoring whoever triumphed and gave him the greatest victories.”
Enzo turns and the light in his eyes fades away.
“We fought, viciously. Realms were destroyed, kingdoms lost, and it almost killed me to kill the cunt. I needed Byron's help and he needed revenge on his former master, and that's how he became bound to me.”
He thrusts his hands into his pockets and walks back over.
“So he's back and he wants me as revenge?”
Enzo nods. “A piece of him is back. Whether he truly wants you or just wants to torture me remains to be seen. The Seer said the only way to stop him killing you was for me to absorb the Temple's power, and that is why I agreed to the rite.”
We stare at each other and then look down at our feet. Suddenly, the ground is fascinating and I can't bear to look up at him. I'm not sure what I'm going to find when I do, but my heart tells me it won't be good.
Maybe none of this is good.
Maybe that's what makes this so right.
Enzo is the definition of wicked, but he gives me pleasure I've never known and every time he touches me I burn for him. I've barely scratched his surface, but he's gotten under my skin, and now he's there I like it. I can't imagine being without him and I don't want to be anywhere but with him.
“What about you?”
“Me?” he asks.
I stare at the lace of his shoe. “What happens to you?”
I can hear the smirk as it spreads across Enzo's face. He's grinning. Like a fucking asshole. I'm worrying about him and he has the goddamn audacity to smirk about it.
“Baby, you care.”
Heat spreads across my cheeks, and my ears burn. “You're not answering me.”
“Because you're fucking stunning. Adriana, you're the most fucking beautiful thing I've ever seen in all of Heaven and Hell.”
My head snaps up and Enzo's grinning with a smile so damn bright it dazzles me.
“You don't believe I've been to Heaven,” he says, leaning forward. “I assure you I have. It's spectacularly dull. Far too pure and sickly sweet. It needs corrupting. Much like you, sweet girl.” He dips his head and steals a kiss, nipping my bottom lip to sharpen the pleasure. “You're even more enticing now. Still so innocent, but with an irresistible streak of naughtiness.”
I groan, and he grabs my ass, pulling me toward him.
“Don't you dare. I'm not done with you, baby.” Enzo kisses me again and he partially has me panting into his mouth. “I'm going to be just fine. I'm going to kill whatever remains of Mordecai and then you and are I going to spend the rest of our lives fucking each other until we're gloriously sore. And then we'll let ourselves recover and fuck each other sore again.”
His fingers trail over the collar, and he drags a nail over some exposed skin.
“Promise me something, Adi.”
I wait, unwilling to give him any assurance until I know what he wants.
“Eva's probably working for Mordecai. Don't trust her and don't go anywhere with her. Under no circumstances.”
I nod. “I promise.”
“I mean it, baby.”
He crashes his lips onto mine, and his kiss is intense. It's a monsoon in a humid summer, a hurricane tearing through my soul. I'm refreshed and destroyed, utterly changed and totally devastated.
“Even if she says I'm in danger or hurt or threatens to destroy the entire fucking world. She's a lying bitch and you're too trusting. If anything ever happens, don't do what you always do and end up in trouble.”
I roll my eyes and wonder how Enzo manages this. How every time he tries to soften or show the slightest trace of affection, he pushes me away. Or insults me on top of it.
My heart soars only for him to crush it, and the harshest truth in all of this is that I do care. I didn't want to and I don't like that I do, but it's undeniable. This is just a game to Enzo and my treacherous heart fell for him and the harder my head fought, the more determined it made my heart.
“Baby?”
I've even started liking the name that used to make my insides churn. Every fucking time he uses it, a wave of elation washes over me, replacing the nausea I used to feel.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Eva,” I lie.
“I won't let her hurt you, Adi. I'm only keeping her around to find out what she knows. As soon as I've done that, I'm going to kill her.”
I nod, and he smiles.
Neither of us believes the other. I doubt we even believe ourselves. Enzo's worried enough to warn me and I'm hiding something.
He hums, and his thumb pulls my lip down.
“Are you lying to me?”
“No.” I double down.
“Are you sure, baby?” Danger flashes through him as Enzo draws closer.
I nod.
He exhales, and my heart skips a beat.
Enzo inhales and drops his head until his lips are so close to mine it hurts to be apart.
“Good girl. I'd hate to punish you for lying to me.”
Enzo's kiss is dominant and rough, taking back the control he'd let slip for a few moments. His tongue flicks against mine and I melt, giving in and giving up. The man can have whatever he wants when his kiss makes me feel like this, and I'll sort the rest of the mess out later or be damned.
Knowing Enzo, I'll be damned.
He lifts me into the air and my legs wrap around his waist. Enzo walks, still kissing me, as his fingers grope my ass and he rubs himself against me.
“Where are we going?” I breathe, breaking our kiss.
“Into the water, baby. You like it there and we need to fuck again. I'll make it feel good.”