17. Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
Dylan
“ L ove?” Axel shook my shoulder gently.
“Mhmm?” I was thoroughly fucked out and had no desire to move.
“You need to eat something.”
I sniffed the air.
Mmm bacon.
When I peeked one eye open, I was met with Axel looming over me like an overzealous mother hen.
“Please?” he asked.
I shuffled around and sat up, trying not to visibly wince at my sore arse lest Axel declare it needed inspecting for damage. He joined me in the nest holding a plate piled high with bacon sandwiches, and my stomach rumbled loudly as if to remind me that eating was, in fact, more important than fucking for days on end.
Before I even had the chance to reach out and grab one, Axel had begun hand-feeding me, so I took a large bite from his offering and chewed.
I’d never spent anyone’s rut with them so I wasn’t totally sure what was a ‘normal rut thing’ and what was an ‘Axel rut thing’ specifically. For the last couple of days, he hadn’t really let me do anything myself. I’d had to lock the bathroom door so I could have a poo without company. Even then, he’d sat and talked to me from the other side of the door.
Never in all my dreams of being with Axel like that had I pictured him to be quite so… let’s go with doting rather than suffocating.
The salty turkey bacon and the thick, carby white bread turned out to be exactly what I needed. Once I was full, Axel inhaled the rest.
I shivered for the first time in days, and then it dawned on me what that meant. “Your rut’s ended?”
Axel nodded his head. “I’m gonna have to work tonight. Pippa’s going back home today.”
Pippa, Milly’s older sister and Axel’s cousin had helped cover mine and Axel’s absence over the last few days since she was back home visiting anyway.
I tugged on one of the blankets that made up the nest, laying it over myself, and Axel rubbed his big paw up and down my back. The quiet suddenly felt heavy between us, like the bubble had burst, and now neither of us quite knew what would happen next.
“I can work tonight?” I offered.
Axel kissed me on the cheek. “No, love. You should rest tonight. How about I take you out for lunch tomorrow?”
I liked the idea in theory. But something about how he phrased it told me I’d be sleeping at mine tonight, alone, and I didn’t like that one bit. But I didn’t want to be that omega who became a stage five clinger after one rut. I hadn’t waited my whole life for Axel only to blow it now, so I plastered a smile on my face and said, “Sure. Sounds great.”
Showered and dressed, I stood in Axel’s bedroom, eyeing our nest. He’d left for work just over an hour earlier, and a pit had formed in my stomach ever since. With a kiss goodbye, he’d told me he’d pick me up at noon the next day, but it felt awkward and stilted, and I was dreading that he might be taking me out to lunch to let me down gently in public.
Not that I’d ever put a huge amount of thought into the aftermath of spending a rut or my heat with someone, but I hadn’t ever imagined deconstructing our nest by myself, and it made me want to cry. I felt like once it was gone, it would be like it had never happened, and that thought alone caused a lance of pain to shoot through my chest.
I never enjoyed taking apart my nests after a heat, but this was monumentally worse. Slowly, I began to separate the items that needed to be washed and put the rest back into the vacuum-sealed bags Axel had removed them from only a few days ago.
With the remaining items put on a delicate wash, I left a note on the side for Axel to dry them on a low heat and walked home. My footsteps felt heavy the entire way. Like I’d left a part of myself behind. Maybe I had.
Mom and Abbie were both at work when I got home, for which I was grateful. I trudged up the stairs and stripped off my clothes before climbing into bed and calling George.
“Hello, you dirty dog,” George said by way of answering, and I laughed.
“Hey, sorry again for ditching you.”
“I’ll take that apology in the form of every sordid detail, thank you very much.”
George’s giddiness was infectious, replacing some of the melancholy I’d been feeling since I’d left Axel’s place.
“Well, you know that scene at the end of Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly and Matthew Macfadyen in the foggy field with the rain?”
“Only one of the most romantic cinematic moments of our lifetime, Dylan, of course I do!”
“Call me Keira.”
“No! Really, in the rain and everything?”
“Yes, it was very dramatic. And then we went back to his, as you know, had the best sex of my life before waking up in the middle of the night to Axel in rut, and now my arse really hurts, babe. Like I’m debating sitting on an ice pack, honestly.”
“Wow. So much to unpack there. Yay for the best sex ever, though. Love that for you. I can’t believe you spent his rut with him; that’s a big step.”
“I know, right? I tried to leave because it felt like a big deal to do that so soon, but then he was freaking out at the thought of me going, so I stayed, but now I’m worried it might have fucked things up.” I chewed on my lip.
“Like fucked your arse up?”
“Jesus, no! I meant figuratively. Like maybe it rushed things, and now he’s going to pull away or something.”
“You’re the one who said your arse was wrecked; it’s not like I was making a leap, hun. How did you leave things?”
“He had to leave for work and said he’d take me out for lunch tomorrow. I took our nest down by myself, and it was super fucking depressing, so I came home and called you.”
“Aww, babe. I can’t believe he left you to do that by yourself, what a dick.”
I felt suddenly defensive. Yes, it had been shitty to do, but I didn’t like hearing George speak negatively about Axel at all.
“He didn’t really. We just didn’t mention it, and then he went to work. Maybe he thought I’d have gone home and left it.”
“Yeah, maybe. Don’t be mad because I’m saying this with all the love in the world, Dylan. I know you’ve been in love with Axel for pretty much ever, but don’t let that cloud your vision. You deserve the best of the best; Axel is lucky to have you. Don’t accept less, okay?”
I welled up at that. Despite it having only been less than a week since I’d seen George, I missed him. Iqra, too.
“I’m not mad. Thanks, George. I hear you.”
“I better head. I’m supposed to be getting ready to meet Ivan in an hour. Call me soon, though, yeah?”
“I promise. Love you, bye.”
“Love you too, honey. Always.”
I stared at the ceiling for a little while after I hung up the phone. It bleeped with a message, and I scrambled to read it, hoping it was Axel.
It wasn’t.
It was a message from George with a link to some cream that apparently would make my arse feel better. I quickly ordered it for next-day delivery because—ouch. After that, I pulled out my latest knitting project to keep myself busy for a while.
“Dylan, you home?” Mom yelled from downstairs. It was past ten by the time they got back.
“Yeah, Mom. I’m just in bed,” I shouted back.
There were quiet footsteps on the stairs, followed by a soft knock on my bedroom door because Abbie wasn’t a yeller.
“I brought home some leftovers from the restaurant; I’ve popped them in the fridge for you,” Abbie said, poking her head around the door.
“Thanks.”
“You okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just tired.”
She said goodnight before disappearing again.
I hadn’t heard from Axel all evening, which was surely not a good sign.
That night, I fell asleep wearing a t-shirt of Axel’s that I’d stolen earlier that day, and my heart hurt prematurely like it was readying itself to get broken. Only I couldn’t run away to uni this time; I’d have to see Axel constantly, know what he tasted like and what it felt like to be his for merely a snapshot of time. I sniffed his shirt; it was already starting to smell more like me than like him. What a disaster.
My mattress dipped, stirring me from sleep.
“Huh?” I murmured.
“It’s only me, love. Sorry I woke you,” Axel whispered.
I turned to face him and rubbed my thumb under his tired-looking eyes.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Your mom was still up; she let me in,” he explained.
“Not that I’m not glad to see you, but I thought… I thought you wanted a night away from me, maybe.”
He pressed his lips to mine in a brief, soft kiss. “I felt bad. Like I’d cornered you into spending my rut with me and like I should give you some space. And then, after I finished work, I went upstairs and saw you’d taken down our nest, and I felt even shittier for leaving you to do that on your own, and I didn’t want you to think that I thought that was okay. Because it’s not okay. We should have done that together, and I shouldn’t have let you leave with only a vague lunch date for the next day,” Axel rambled on, and it filled my heart right to the brim.
“You weren’t sick of me?” I asked.
“God, no. I’m sorry I was a dick. I won’t ever get sick of you, Dyl. I know you, the real you. Don’t shrink yourself thinking you’ll ever be too much for me because you won’t, okay? I’m sorry if I’m already fucking this up.”
My eyes filled with tears, but they were happy ones.
“You’re not fucking this up. I’m glad you came over,” I whispered.
“Yeah?”
I nodded and kissed him. His lips parted slightly, and I deepened the kiss, needing some physical reassurance that this was the start of something. Something real and something lasting.
“I’m glad I came over, too. You’re all warm and snuggly,” Axel said before burying his face in my shoulder.
I lifted the duvet so he could join me underneath, and he quickly shucked off his jeans before climbing in. My bed was a little small for the two of us, but it was a good excuse to plaster myself against him.
And then I drifted back off to sleep with a smile on my face, encased in the cave of Axel’s arms.
Perfect, perfect, perfect.