Chapter 22 In Which I Receive a Performance Review #2
I meandered uptown, taking in the noises and smells of New York City on a winter morning.
I let the sun warm my cheeks, the top of my head, the tip of my nose.
I looked into the windows of the antiques stores and restaurants and clothing stores, staring at the uniform faces in their muted palette of human colors.
A man bumped into me on 50th Street and started shouting. “It’s like the invasion of the body snatchers,” he yelled. “With all the bumping and grabbing. If you think you can take my body, you’re crazy, lady!”
“Why would I want your body when I have mine?” I yelled back, fighting a smile. His shouts followed me for the next few blocks.
I’d missed this city so much.
I almost went back to Faerie immediately, but when I passed 54th, I turned east instead. Thea would be working at home.
Though it had been three months, her doorman recognized me and let me in with a smile. I took the elevator up to her floor and then stood on the beige carpet outside her door for several minutes. She wants to see you, I reminded myself. The flutters in my stomach didn’t seem so sure.
I knocked on the door.
“Hello?” she called out, sounding surprised.
Of course she was surprised; it was midmorning on a workday.
“It’s me,” I said, sounding hoarser than I expected.
“Me?” she repeated, her voice closer now. “Who’s—” as she opened the door.
She stood in the doorway, half of her body behind the door, and her jaw dropped. “Miri?” she shrieked, flinging her arms out to hug me and instead launching herself into the still-open door. “Ow,” she added.
I stepped inside and threw my arms around her. “Thea,” I said, unable to do anything but take in the feel of her squeezing me.
“Oh my god, you aren’t dead,” she said, burying her face in my shoulder. I felt wetness seeping through the fabric of my shirt, and then her body began to shake. I held her tighter.
“Thea, Thea,” I said, stroking her hair back from her forehead. “Are you okay?”
“Okay?” she repeated. “No, I’m not okay, Miri! You’ve been avoiding me for three months! Where have you been? Are you mad at me? Are you okay?”
I kicked the door shut behind me and held her by the shoulders. “Mad at you? Thea, of course I’m not mad at you.” I led her to her giant blue couch and sat us both down.
She wiped at her nose with the back of one hand. “How is that of course, Miri? Where the hell did you go? You barely answered my calls, and when I went to your apartment you didn’t even answer the door.”
“Ah,” I said. I dropped my hands. Waiting had not made it easier to tell her.
She stared at me. I stared at her.
“I’ve been stuck in Faerie,” I said.
“You what?” she said.
“I got stuck in Faerie. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to come back,” I said, enunciating.
She gaped at me, startled out of tears. “Did you eat their food?”
“If one more person asks about my terrible life choices,” I muttered, and she flung herself around me so hard we fell back into the couch cushions. I couldn’t tell if she was punching my arms or squeezing any flesh she could to make sure I was really there.
“You were trapped in Faerie and didn’t tell me?” She pulled away.
“I didn’t tell you,” I repeated. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, Miri,” she said. Her eyes were rimmed red. “Don’t be sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t notice something was wrong.”
“What?” I grabbed her hand. “No, Thea, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
We apologized mutually for nearly a half hour before her computer pinged and she remembered she was supposed to be working.
“I’m going to call out sick,” she said. I watched from the couch while she went to her computer, scrubbing her hair until it fell in matted tangles around her shoulder. She sat down and hunched forward in her chair, and then called her boss.
Her boss answered and Thea did the most pathetic little half cough I’d ever heard in my entire life.
“Hey, Katie,” she said. “I’m not feeling great.” She listed to one side, as though unable to hold herself upright.
“Oh my god, please sign off and get some soup,” Katie said, sounding worried.
“Okay,” Thea said, clearly attempting reluctance and instead sounding gleeful. “Thanks, Katie.” She hung up and turned back to me with a wide grin. “Great, my afternoon is clear.”
I snorted. “But now you’ll get me sick.”
She ignored this absolutely hilarious joke.
Thea had her phone in hand. “I’m texting Jordan to come over,” she said. “And then you can apologize to him for a half hour about not telling him you got stuck in Faerie.”
I winced.
“No,” she gasped.
“I’m so sorry,” I said again.
“You told Jordan?”
“Just two days ago!” I said, though my voice was muffled by Thea’s entire body because she’d flung herself upon me and seemed to be attempting murder by smothering. “I needed advice about going on a quest.”
Good lord—had it only been two days?
“A quest?” Thea sat back, though her hands found mine, and her eyes went wide. “Okay, I think you’d better tell me from the beginning.” She squeezed my fingers. It was evident from the pressure that she hadn’t decided whether to berate me or welcome me home like the prodigal son.
I sighed and then bit back a smile, thinking of Sahir.
“Wait, is that a crush smile?” Thea shrieked. She threw her hands up. “What is happening, Miri?”
“Let’s just wait till Jordan gets here,” I said, “because I don’t think I can explain all of this twice.”
Thea’s eyes narrowed again. “Hang on, aren’t you supposed to be at work?”
I sucked in a breath.
Luckily, Jordan lived very close to Thea, and a loud thud on the door interrupted this line of questioning.
I got up to let him in; he’d kicked the door with his foot because he had arms full of alcohol. “Did someone order delivery?” he asked, cradling the ciders.
“Jordan, hey,” I said.
“Miri, hey,” he replied. “Give me a second to put the ciders on Thea’s grandma’s coffee table.” If you’re friends with someone for long enough, you know exactly which deceased relative they got all of their nice furniture from. He swept past me and deposited the ciders.
Then, arms empty, Jordan came back and yanked me into a hug.
“Don’t ever do that again,” he admonished.
“I was pretty sure you were going to die and then I was going to have to write the most creative and heart-wrenching eulogy ever and deliver it to a crowd of adoring mourners, including your hot cousin, which you know I’d totally hate doing. ”
“Both of you, fucking sit,” Thea called from the couch. “I won’t cause either of you bodily harm, if you tell me everything right this second.”
Jordan and I went to the couch, still tangled together, and sat down. Thea came in close and wrapped her arms around my upper arm.
“Okay, so you know my boss, Jeff?” I asked.
“No, but he sounds lovely,” Jordan deadpanned. Thea groaned.
“Yes, Miri, please talk faster,” she said, and rested her cheek on my shoulder.
“Okay, so Jeff and I had a client dinner in Faerie in”—I thought for a second—“in August.”
“And you didn’t tell us?” Thea gasped.
“Let’s assume that I was a bad friend throughout,” I suggested. “Since it’ll make the story go faster.”
“You weren’t a bad friend,” Jordan said, with startling solemnity. “You weren’t sure how to process what happened to you and didn’t want to make other people who love you suffer for no reason.”
I glared at him. “Jordan, stop being so well-adjusted,” I said. He held up his hands in surrender, and I regaled them with my tale.
To their credit, they were a much better audience than my parents: They booed the Princeling, gasped at my recollections of being poisoned, were enraptured with my descriptions of the Faerie Court. And of course, I told them about Sahir, Gaheris, Lene, and the Gray Knight.
“So are these people your new roommates?” Thea asked, making a face.
I hesitated for a moment. “They’re my new friends,” I said, staring at my lap, where all of our hands were clasped. “I’d love for you to meet them.”
“Did she make the face?” Jordan asked. “I couldn’t tell from this angle.”
“She made the face,” Thea confirmed.
“What face?” I asked, my cheeks already flushing.
“The crush face,” Jordan said, exuberant. “So which one is it?”
“Or is it more than one?” Thea asked.
I ducked my head. “I don’t know what you two are talking about. I quit my job, by the way.”
I’d done that intentionally. They both exploded.
“Way to bury the lede!” Thea shrieked.
“I don’t think she did,” Jordan said. “I think that’s genuinely the least interesting thing that’s happened to her in the past ninety days.”
“I told Jeff I’ve had bacterial infections that provided me with better mentorship than him,” I said, because that was probably my favorite part.
Thea cackled.
I glanced at the table, where the drinks we hadn’t even cracked still sat.
“You could come visit me,” I offered. “In Faerie. I promise I wouldn’t let you eat the food.”
I didn’t know if they could visit me, but I planned to petition the Gray Knight as soon as I got back. She owed me several favors.
“Come to Faerie?” Thea sounded startled. “Really?”
“Only if you want to,” I tossed out casually.
Jordan found a pillow behind his back and whacked me with it.
We all dissolved into giggles. Thea grabbed a few bottles of cider and passed them to me and Jordan. We twisted the caps off in sync.
“A toast,” Thea said, twisting off her own bottle’s cap. “To somehow avoiding any real consequences.”
“To avoiding consequences,” Jordan and I chorused. We clinked our bottles together, and together, we drank.
Hours later, I left my best friends, feeling lighter than I had in months.
When I reached Central Park, I stopped a few times to touch the grass, and once to try to climb a tree.
I fell onto my butt from a few branches up.
I made the rest of the trek to the shimmering portal with a mingled sense of embarrassment that I’d tried to climb a tree, and relief that no one had seen me fail.