Chapter 16
16
POPPY
I set off for Fennington Hall straight after an early lunch. I’d got myself so worked up with nerves about meeting Cole Crawford and the rest of Amber’s family that I’d been unable to concentrate on any work and, rather than pacing the farmhouse floor, decided that I might as well get checked into my room. I’d been on the venue’s website and there appeared to be extensive gardens and grounds which I could explore to kill some time, or I could (try to) relax in my room and watch TV.
I arrived at half one and there were several guests milling around in the entrance foyer dressed in their wedding finery. I spotted Amber’s close friend Samantha who I’d met at the farm on Thursday night, and she gave me a wave and beckoned me over. I’d loved hearing all about her rescue centre and wished I’d been staying longer so I could squeeze in a visit and perhaps even volunteer my assistance for a few hours.
‘Lovely to see you again,’ Samantha said, giving me a hug, which helped unknot my stomach a little.
‘And you. You look amazing. I love the dress.’
The full-length gown was in a warm cream with chiffon flutter sleeves and sparkles on the bodice. I’d been told on Thursday that all the bridesmaids were wearing the same style of dress but the colour theme for the wedding was ‘sage and blush’ with the bridesmaids either wearing sage green, blush or cream dresses. I could imagine the three colours looking stunning together.
Samantha introduced me to her husband, Josh, and their two children – four-year-old Thomas and three-year-old Lyra, who looked adorable in their smart outfits. They each had a soft toy pig with them, Lyra’s dressed as a bride and Thomas’s as a groom.
‘Because Barney’s a pig farmer,’ Samantha explained.
‘We’ve got hedgehogs ready for Fizz and Phoebe’s wedding,’ Josh added.
I crouched down in front of the children. ‘Are your pigs getting married today?’
Thomas nodded, wide-eyed and Lyra giggled as she passed me her pig to admire.
‘Such a beautiful pig bride,’ I said, straightening out its dress before handing it back.
‘I need to find the others,’ Samantha said. ‘I’ll see you tonight. Have a good time with your friend this afternoon.’
‘Thank you. Have a great wedding.’
Josh headed off with the children and I made my way to the reception desk to check in.
‘The ceremony starts at two o’clock in the Magnolia Suite just down that corridor.’ The receptionist – Blaine according to her name badge – pointed to my left.
‘I’m actually an evening guest,’ I said, pulling an apologetic expression. ‘A very early one.’
She laughed lightly. ‘I hear you. I’d rather be five hours early than five minutes late. The evening starts at seven in the Rowan Room which is in the other direction. Most of the guests will be gathering in the Juniper Lounge which is a huge bar running along the back of the hotel. The drinks reception will be in there after the ceremony but there’s a quieter bar – the Sycamore Snug – which will probably be empty for a while if you want to get a drink now. The wedding party has taken over the whole hall so there won’t be any non-wedding guests here today.’
‘The Sycamore Snug sounds good to me.’
‘There’s also a roof terrace with lots of hidden seats if you want even more peace and quiet. It’s a little complicated to find so just ask if you’d like directions to that later.’
I thanked Blaine for her help and took my key – an actual key rather than a keycard which instantly made me feel like I was staying somewhere very posh – and went off in search of my room on the second floor.
Phil said it had been the last room available and was basic, but if this was basic, the better rooms must be fit for royalty because I was seriously impressed. With high ceilings and ornate cornicing, it had pretty floral wallpaper, modern artwork and soft furnishings in a blend of rich peacock blue, light blue and pale gold. I ran my hand over the soft throw across the end of the king-sized bed. It was beautifully romantic, and I wished for a moment that I had someone to tumble onto that bed with at the end of the evening. My heart raced as I imagined bursting through the door in a passionate clinch, the door slamming behind us as I unbuttoned his shirt and he unzipped my dress. We’d stumble across the room, both of us lost in our kiss, shedding more clothes as we neared the bed and… Heat ran through my body as I thought about it and I shook my head. How odd that the he in my little fantasy had been Mr Rugby Physique. He’d popped into my mind a lot since my visit to Bloomsberry’s which was so bizarre considering all we’d done was exchange a few words and several smiles. He really shouldn’t be occupying any space in my head after such a meaningless interlude. Although, to me, it hadn’t really been meaningless and that’s probably why it had stayed with me. He’d made me smile, I’d felt noticed by a man for the first time in years and it had been a welcome boost to know that a stranger had found me attractive. Or at least I assumed he had or why would he have kept looking up and smiling like that?
I removed my gorgeous orange dress from the suit carrier Amber had loaned me. As I adjusted it on the hanger, an article I’d read in a magazine at The Larks a few weeks ago came back to my mind. It had been a commentary on the world of online dating and how it was still possible these days to meet the one in a more traditional way such as while in education, at work, in a pub or club, at the gym or at a wedding. I don’t know why, but the wedding stats had stuck in my mind. A survey claimed that 15 per cent of the people asked had spent the night with someone they’d met at a wedding, 10 per cent were in or had been in a serious relationship with a guest they’d met there and 5 per cent had married someone they’d met at a wedding. So it did happen. Could it happen to me? I hung my dress up on the outside of the wardrobe shaking my head. No chance, especially when I’d be retreating to my room alone when Phil left.
Thinking about Phil, it made sense to let him know I’d arrived.
To Phil
I know you’ll be surprised to hear this, but I’m already here! So if you are able to get away any earlier, please do, otherwise I’ll see you at 4 x
I’d just plonked my overnight bag onto the bed when a reply came through.
From Phil
Absolute shocker!!! Wish I could get there early but I might actually be late. I’m thinking 4.30 but will keep you posted. What are you going to do?
To Phil
Toying with a walk but might hide in my room which won’t be a hardship as it’s beautiful
From Phil
Don’t you dare! Get yourself down to the bar, order a drink and do some celeb-spotting. Seriously, Pops, how often do you get to mingle with the stars? Put your big girl pants on and seek out your favourite vicar. My challenge to you is a selfie with him before I get there. Go! Go! Go!
I shook my head, laughing. What was he like? Cole Crawford would be needed for photographs immediately after the ceremony but perhaps I could do a walk-by selfie with him in the background a little later.
My bedroom was at the back of the hall and I could see a maze with a central fountain and a rose garden to the side of it. It was too early for the roses to be in bloom but it still looked inviting. I’d go downstairs in a bit and tuck myself away somewhere to do some discreet celeb-spotting when the ceremony finished. After that, I’d grab my coat and take a wander round the grounds.
A ping from my phone alerted me to another message from Phil.
From Phil
Let me guess. You’re planning to hide in a dark corner where no one can see you. PUT THAT ORANGE DRESS ON AND SHINE!!!!
To Phil
You know me far too well!
I accompanied my message with a selfie of me in my casual clothes, shrugging.
From Phil
Is that tomato soup on your T-shirt? Orange dress. Do it! Shooting into a meeting but I expect to see a selfie of you in your party dress when I come out. See you later. You can do this x
I looked down at my white T-shirt and tutted at the tomato soup slop. How hadn’t I noticed that earlier? Luckily I’d had my coat on when I’d been talking to Samantha and Josh or they’d have seen me looking a mess. I could put my hoodie on but if I was hoping to blend into the background, jeans and a hoodie weren’t the way forward – I’d stand out more as the only person not dressed up. I was going to have to put the dress on which meant I might as well refresh my make-up and tidy up my hair, not that it would take long. I never applied thick make-up and was blessed with hair that, once styled, tended to stay where it was.
When I was ready, I slipped my feet into the pair of sparkly strappy sandals Fizz had kindly loaned me. Unbeknown to me, Amber had messaged all the bridesmaids to ask if any of them were a size five shoe and could lend me some footwear for the wedding. Fizz had come up trumps with the footwear but Samantha had loaned me a necklace and earrings and Barney’s mum Natasha had loaned me a clutch bag, so my ensemble was complete.
A little later, I walked into the Juniper Lounge which was deserted except for a young female bartender wiping down the bar. She smiled at me and asked what I’d like, so I ordered a Pimm’s and lemonade. It was probably more of a summer’s day drink but I wanted some alcohol to take the edge off being somewhere unfamiliar and it felt a little early to start on the wine.
‘Too late for the wedding?’ she asked as she prepared my drink.
‘Erm, no… too early, actually. I’m here for the evening do.’
Her eyebrows quirked. ‘You do realise it’s only twenty past two?’
‘Yeah, I know. I’ve always been overly punctual. I’m meeting a friend first but he’s running late so I thought I’d grab a drink and catch sight of… erm…’ Would she judge me if I said Cole Crawford? Probably. I was already judging myself.
‘The newlyweds?’ she suggested when I didn’t finish my sentence. I nodded. ‘So which side are you? Bride or groom?’
‘Neither.’
Her eyebrows shot up once more and I couldn’t muster the energy to attempt an explanation, especially when I was still questioning that moment of madness where I’d said yes to coming. Best to end the transaction and get out of there.
‘It’s complicated. I’m a family friend.’ I gave my room number for the bill and grabbed my drink, slipping out into the hotel lobby. Sitting down on a high-backed chair which would give me a great view of the guests exiting the Magnolia Suite, I took a sip of my refreshing drink and commended myself on a good choice.
I sank a little further back into my chair, feeling very conspicuous and cursing myself for being so starstruck but, every time I considered backing out, I thought about Phil’s encouraging messages and pictured my mum’s face. She’d have loved to meet her idol and would have been tickled pink that I’d unexpectedly been presented with that opportunity so I wasn’t just doing this for me – I was doing it for her.
When the door to the Magnolia Suite opened with a burst of music and chatter, butterflies swirled in my stomach. The photographer emerged first, followed a little later by Amber and Barney, huge smiles on their faces. What an attractive couple they made. Amber’s lace wedding gown was stunning – a capped-sleeved sheath design which clung flatteringly to her hourglass figure before opening out into a fishtail with a train. A sheer panel on the back broke up the lace. Her auburn hair was worn up although, from a distance, I couldn’t see whether it was a simple or elaborate style.
They headed towards the Juniper Lounge and the rest of the bridal party followed them. I spotted Samantha, Zara, Phoebe and Fizz. One of the bridesmaids wearing sage green had auburn hair so had to be Amber’s sister Sophie. I recognised their brother, Brad, walking beside his onscreen wife in the soap Londoners and offscreen long-term partner, Tabatha Bellingham. Her character always dressed in dowdy clothes so it was lovely to see her resplendent in blush pink. The bridesmaid dresses were gorgeous, and I loved what the men were wearing too. Rather than morning suits, they looked much more countryside in green tweed waistcoats, chinos and brown shoes. Barney had a cream shirt on with a pink tie and the rest of his groomsmen were wearing sage-green shirts with dark green ties. As they walked away, I noticed that the back of Barney’s waistcoat was also a different colour to the others. I liked that subtle touch.
At the back of the wedding party was a groomsman and a young girl in a green dress with a net skirt who I guessed must be Barney’s best man, Joel, and his daughter, Imogen. Joel held Imogen’s hand while she twirled in a circle, her dress fanning out around her, her blonde ringlets bouncing. Her happy smile was so captivating. Oh, to be that young again when the simple act of twirling in a pretty dress could bring such joy. I glanced up at Joel and my stomach did a loop-the-loop. It was Mr Rugby Physique!
I leaned forward, my heart racing, but it was definitely him and he looked even more attractive than he had when we’d met at the garden centre. This time, it wasn’t just his looks that were drawing me in – it was that he was twirling too. He was dressed up at a celebrity-filled wedding in a posh venue and he was twirling and laughing with his daughter as though he didn’t care who saw him. The phrase dance like nobody’s watching sprang to mind and I couldn’t take my eyes off the pair of them. I always admired adults who could be as uninhibited as young children, having fun and being completely in the moment. I wished I could be more like that. I sometimes felt that I lived up to the boring accountant stereotype but what was wrong with being straightforward, organised and reliable? I admired those who could throw caution to the wind and who either weren’t bothered by what people thought of them or gave a good impression of being that way. They disappeared out of view, but I was already excited about our paths crossing later, being properly introduced, having a conversation about something other than the tastiest ready meals.
And then came the moment I’d been waiting for – the father of the bride emerged and I held my breath. Cole Crawford in the flesh looking taller and even more handsome in real life than on the screen. He certainly didn’t look sixty-one, but neither did his wife, Jules. I was completely frozen to the spot and couldn’t have moved even if I wanted to, not that I’d have dreamed of interrupting them. I couldn’t even reach for my phone for a discreet selfie. Phil would be disappointed. My eyes burned and my throat was tight as I imagined Mum being here to share this with me. I couldn’t wait to tell Dad. I blinked back tears as it struck me that it would mean nothing to him. Cole Crawford no longer existed in his world. I took a deep breath, determined to hold it together.
The rest of the guests filed out and it was like a photocall for OK! or Hello magazines. I spotted Annabelle Coates who Amber had been telling me about, looking fabulously showbiz in a floral frock coat and wide-brimmed feather-strewn hat. There were so many other celebrities that I felt quite overwhelmed, completely starstruck and very conscious that, even though I was hidden from view, it was somewhat cheeky of me to be here. No way could I take any photos.
It took quite some time for all the guests to file out of the Magnolia Suite and head into the bar for the drinks reception. Despite feeling like a gatecrasher, I was glad I’d come down. I’d imagined Mum sitting beside me giving me a running commentary about who they were dating, any awards they’d won recently and exciting future plans as well as sharing her observations about her favourite dresses, hats, shoes and handbags. One of the many things I’d loved about Mum was how, despite being celebrity-obsessed, she only focused on the positives and never gossiped. If she didn’t like what someone was wearing, she wouldn’t voice it. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. If only more people were like that. I’d learned so much from Mum about looking on the bright side – from Dad too – and it angered me that they’d been taken away from me, both in such a cruel way. I was determined to do them proud and embrace life with positivity like they’d done.
I stayed where I was long after the guests had gone, thinking about Mum. For a woman who’d chosen not to have children because she didn’t feel any draw towards being a mother, she’d been a natural. It would have been so easy for Mum and Dad to harbour some resentment at being tied to a family life they’d never planned or wanted but they’d both wholeheartedly embraced it. I didn’t only think of them as my parents – they’d been my teachers and my friends, which made the void they’d left in my life so much deeper.
‘Can I get you anything?’
I’d been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed Blaine, the receptionist who’d checked me in, approaching.
I smiled up at her. ‘I’m fine, thanks. Just lost in my memories. My mum was celebrity-obsessed. She’d have loved this.’
‘My mum is too. She’s a hairdresser and she claims the celebrity magazines are for the customers but they never make it into the salon until she’s read them cover to cover.’
‘She’d have got on well with my mum. I bought her a subscription to OK! and Hello every Christmas and every time I asked her if she’d prefer a surprise gift instead, she’d say, Don’t even think about cutting me off from my celeb fix. ’
‘She sounds lovely,’ Blaine said.
‘She was.’
‘You’re very welcome to stay here and reminisce, but I wondered if you might like directions to that quieter bar I mentioned when you checked in.’
‘That sounds great. Actually, you mentioned a terrace. I might like to check that out instead. I’m assuming you can see the grounds from there.’
‘You can so you’ll be able to watch the photos being taken out the back. I’d recommend you grab a coat. Bit cold up there.’
I retrieved my coat from my room and followed the directions Blaine had given me. There were several columns on the terrace, wrapped in solar-powered fairy lights. Wooden screens and planters divided the space into sections meaning guests sitting on the metal benches, chairs and tables could remain hidden from others. At the far end of the terrace, the view over the gardens was stunning.
Amber and Barney were having their photos taken on a wooden bridge over the lake. Once that was done, they continued onto a small island where there was a pagoda. It looked to be covered in flowers so had presumably been decorated especially for the wedding. Those photos would be so beautiful.
Sudden chatter and laughter drew my attention back to just beneath me where the rest of the wedding party had exited the building, evidently required for group photos. I spotted Cole and Jules Crawford walking with Natasha and another man who must be Barney’s dad. I’d have expected Cole to keep my attention but someone else caught my eye and sent my stomach into another loop-the-loop – Joel. He and one of the ushers were walking either side of Imogen, picking her up and swinging her in the air and I was captivated watching him once more, my heart racing. It made no sense to me. In my whole life, I’d never been instantly attracted to a man like this. For me, attraction usually emerged from friendship. If we got on, had shared values and enjoyed being together, feelings of more than friendship might develop.
That’s how it had worked with Phil and that’s where I’d thought it was heading with one of my colleagues, Vince, after Phil and I split up. He’d been through a recent break-up and I genuinely thought we’d connected over a few nights of drinks after work and a couple of meals. When he invited me back to his place after the second meal, I agreed because we were in the middle of a really interesting conversation which I didn’t want to end. Turned out that, in his mind, going back for coffee meant I wanted to jump into bed with him and he wasn’t impressed when I turned him down, accusing me of being the most boring woman he’d ever met because apparently all I did was talk about work and my mum’s health problems. I could have brushed aside the boring accusation but in the early stages of Dad’s dementia, Bertie’s wife, Cheryl, set me up on a blind date with a colleague of hers and I thought it had gone well but the feedback filtered back via her that he hadn’t found the conversation very stimulating . Translation – he also thought I was boring. To be fair, I might have talked too much about Dad’s diagnosis but it hadn’t been the only topic of conversation. That was the last time I’d dated. If we had a proper conversation, would Joel come to the same conclusion about me?
I tried to focus on the bride and groom, but my attention was continually drawn back to Joel. All I knew about him was the brief summary Amber had given me when she told me who was in the wedding party. He was Barney’s best friend since senior school, single, and dad to the youngest bridesmaid. I knew nothing else about him except his taste in ready meals, but I wanted to find out and the only way I’d be able to do that was to stay at the evening do by myself after Phil left and talk to him. Could I do that? I wasn’t sure. Doing one scary thing today – being here – was already pretty overwhelming without throwing in a whole pile more.
By the time Phil arrived, the photos were complete, the guests had moved in for the wedding breakfast and I’d ditched my coat and made my way down to the Sycamore Snug for a drink.
‘You look amazing,’ Phil said as he kissed me on my cheek then stepped back to take in my outfit. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in this colour before. It really suits you. Reina said she’d love a photo of you. Do you mind?’
I posed for a photo which he sent and, moments later his phone rang with a FaceTime request from Reina.
‘I don’t want to see your face, Phil,’ she said in her lilting Spanish accent. ‘I want to see that beautiful girl. Poppy! Hola !’
Phil grinned as he handed me the phone.
‘ Hola , Reina.’
‘Poppy, you look radiant! Give Phil the phone and give me a twirl. Yes! Stunning!’
I thanked Reina and sat back down. ‘Is Eliana asleep?’
‘She is but if you are quiet, I can show you. Ssh!’
Moments later, their gorgeous pudgy baby appeared on the screen, lying in her cot, her hand curled around a comforter.
‘She’s so beautiful,’ I said when Reina announced she’d closed the nursery door and we could talk again. She thanked me and gave us an update on her day and then told us to enjoy our evening, blowing a kiss to each of us before disconnecting.
The smile on Phil’s face and the sparkle in his eyes warmed my heart.
‘You chose well second time around,’ I said, smiling at him.
‘I did. But I chose well first time around too. We just weren’t meant to be forever but I like that we stayed good friends, that you’re still part of my family and that my new family adore you.’
‘Me too. How grown-up are we keeping it together like that?’
He laughed and clinked his glass against mine. ‘To adulting.’
I had zero regrets about our relationship ending but equally had none about our marriage. It worked for many years and then it didn’t and what we had now worked brilliantly too.
Phil cocked his head to one side, and I knew what was coming next – the question he always asked me when we had some time alone. ‘Anyone special in your life?’
I shook my head. ‘My time’s divided between Dad, the bees and work so I barely ever meet anyone, not that I’d have time to see them even if I did. What I really need is a time machine so I can travel back a few years, meet someone special and get so settled in a relationship that he understands and accepts the me of today – the person who’s usually too drained at the end of the day to do anything other than cuddle in front of the TV. Someone who understands that, although I have to prioritise other parts of my life over him, it doesn’t mean I don’t love him.’
‘I wish I had that time machine for you. I’d send it into the future to find a cure for Alzheimer’s and MND.’
I placed my hand over his and squeezed. ‘If only you could.’
My parents had always treated Phil like a son, and they’d remained close to him after the divorce. He’d attended Mum’s funeral and had visited Dad in The Larks on several occasions. The first time Dad didn’t recognise him had hit him hard too.
‘So, how has your week in Yorkshire been?’ he asked.
‘Exactly what I needed. I hoped to get caught up with work, but I’ve actually got ahead. I’ve accepted that it’s okay not to visit Dad every day which is a massive breakthrough for me. And a couple of huge, unexpected bonuses are seeing you and meeting Cole Crawford later. Oh, and I’ve slept brilliantly most nights – must be all the fresh air I’ve been getting. Could have done without the nightmares about Damon, though.’
Phil already knew about the coffee I’d had with Damon last year and why I’d agreed to it, so I brought him up to speed on recent events. He was shocked to hear that Damon had turned up at The Larks and that he’d repeatedly turned up at Dove Cottage while I’d been away.
‘I wish he’d leave me alone,’ I finished. ‘I can’t face going back and having the same conversations with him over and over again.’
‘You shouldn’t have to. As it’s not getting through to him, is it worth speaking to his mum?’
‘I’ve thought about it, but how do I phrase it without sounding petty? Your son keeps asking me out and won’t take no for an answer. Can you have a word with him please? ’
‘How about this? Your son keeps turning up at my house without invite and now he’s started turning up at my dad’s care home. It’s scaring me and, even though I’ve asked him on numerous occasions to stop, he refuses because he seems to believe we’re meant to be together. I’d appreciate any help you can give in getting the message through to him that we’re not. ’
It sounded pretty serious when he put it like that, but I couldn’t deny that it was how I felt. Maybe I’d given Damon too much slack because I’d known him from school and our mums had been friends. Maybe it was more serious than I’d realised.
‘I’ll see how he is when I get home and, if he turns up again, I’ll definitely go and see Jenny.’
Our conversation moved on to my thoughts around putting the house on the market. I’d thought a lot about it this week and had concluded it was the right thing to do. Dove Cottage deserved to be lived in by someone who loved it and that person was no longer me. While I had hundreds of happy memories from the past, the more recent memories weren’t so happy and it was time to make a fresh start – somewhere with a smaller garden closer to The Larks for Dad and Saltersbeck Farm for the bees.
‘I understand selling Dove Cottage,’ Phil said, ‘but I’m not convinced buying somewhere near The Larks is the best idea. You’ve said yourself that breaking the habit of visiting your dad every day has been liberating and I’m worried that, if you move closer, you’ll find yourself falling back into the daily visiting pattern. And when the worst happens and your dad’s no longer with us, where does that leave you? Tied to somewhere you don’t need to be anymore. I know renting can seem like wasted money, especially when selling Dove Cottage will give you the funds to buy your own place outright, but renting gives you the flexibility to do what you want – put your stuff in storage and travel for a while, move somewhere different or just take some time to decide what you want from life. Maybe that will still be a beekeeping accountant in Gloucestershire but maybe it’ll be a beekeeper only in Devon, Pembrokeshire, Lancashire or?—’
‘East Yorkshire,’ I said, without even pausing to think about it.
Phil raised an eyebrow at me. ‘Where you’re staying has really captured your heart, then?’
‘It’s beautiful. I love the house, the countryside, the farm next door, the people. Amber says they’re thinking of getting hives on their farm and she showed me where. It’s perfect, Phil. I imagined I was their beekeeper, selling the honey and my Honey Bee Hugs range in the shop they’re setting up and…’ I tailed off, rolling my eyes at him. ‘It was a nice little daydream.’
‘Why does it have to be a daydream? Why can’t it be reality?’
‘Because even if I was brave enough to up sticks and start over, I couldn’t do that while I still have Dad. With any luck, he has years left in him.’ My shoulders slumped. I knew that wasn’t true. I’d devoured all the factsheets and guides I could get my hands on. I knew full well that late-stage dementia was the shortest of the three stages, typically lasting between one and two years. And that was before factoring in Dad’s age. The sadness in Phil’s eyes told me he was thinking the same. I cleared my throat and continued. ‘By that time, they might have got in a beekeeper already and have all their shop suppliers sorted.’
‘Why do you have to wait until your dad’s gone?’ Phil asked. ‘Why not now?’
‘It’s too far from The Larks.’
‘So move him out of The Larks. Your dream home and job could be right here. Mary’s doing her house up to sell it so why don’t you buy it? Why don’t you be the beekeeper at Bumblebee Barn and get Honey Bee Hugs up and running again while Stanley is in a care home nearby?’
‘What about my clients?’
‘You wind up your business or, if that’s too big a financial risk, you offer a virtual service. If they don’t like that, that’s their loss, but I reckon most of your clients would go for it.’
It was a long time since I’d felt positive about the future but what Phil had just described sounded like an absolute dream to me. Why hadn’t I thought about moving Dad? The birds were the reason he loved The Larks so as long as I found somewhere he could sit and watch birds, he should be fine. Or would he? I’d need to get Marnie’s advice on whether moving Dad could be detrimental to him.
‘It does sound ideal, but I don’t know if I can face starting over again where I don’t know anyone.’
‘But you do know people. Amber and Barney have invited you to their wedding, shown you round their farm, and you’ve spent an evening making wedding favours with some of Amber’s bridesmaids who you said were all really welcoming and already felt like friends. So not only would you have a home and dream job on offer, you’d have the start of a new friendship group too.’
I appreciated him not pointing out that my only friends in Winchcote were my elderly neighbours and that, beyond that, my friendship circle was his family – wonderful people with whom I’d stay in touch no matter where I lived.
‘You know what your mum always said,’ he added, his tone teasing.
‘I know, but this is huge. On a scary scale of one to ten, this is a twenty.’
‘At least it’s not a thirty,’ he joked, but then his expression turned serious. ‘I’m worried about you, Pops. I worry that you’re lonely and that, when your dad’s gone, you’ll be even lonelier and I wish I lived closer so I could be there for you and help ease that pain.’
Tears pricked my eyes and I swallowed down the lump in my throat. ‘That’s not your job anymore.’
‘Maybe not as your husband, but we started as and always will be friends, and friends are there for each other. You deserve to live a life that makes you happy, especially after you’ve spent seven years so far caring for your parents. And it sounds to me as though that life could be waiting for you right here in Yorkshire.’
As he spoke, a ball of excitement began building in my stomach. I didn’t want to be lonely anymore and, as I’d said to Amber, despite being on my own at Whisperwood Farmhouse I hadn’t felt lonely for a single minute. Could this be the place I was meant to be? Could this beautiful place be where I came to heal and start over with a new business, new friends, new life? I thought of Joel. New love?