Chapter 24
24
JOEL
My heart was pounding as I returned to the snug to order a bottle of wine. Levi spotted me and called me over to join him, Tim and their fiancées.
‘I can’t. I’m meeting someone.’
‘Orange dress?’ Tim asked.
‘Is it that obvious?’
‘Yes!’ they chorused followed by all four of them speaking at once. I didn’t need to ask them to repeat themselves as I’d got the gist – good choice , about time , be yourself and good luck .
I needed more than luck, especially as I might have unintentionally friend zoned myself by raising the subject. What was wrong with me? Why had I planted that idea?
The first alcove I found had a couple of solid-looking chairs separated by a table on which there was the most enormous floral arrangement. She wasn’t there but I wouldn’t have chosen those chairs either. A bit further along, there was a squishy sofa and there she was.
‘You stayed.’
‘That thing you said about nerves and caring really resonated.’
I poured two glasses of wine and passed her one before sitting down at the other end of the sofa.
‘Before I forget, Housekeeping are sorting out your clothes,’ she said. ‘They’ll be at reception when you check out tomorrow.’
‘Thanks so much for doing that for me. I really appreciate it.’ After Chez had done nothing but take from me, it was touching to have someone willing to give instead.
‘Have you seen your brother since?’
I told her about the confrontation with Fizz and the subsequent conversation with my parents. Poppy asked whether things had always been difficult between us and I found myself fully opening up about Chester’s depression, his on-off relationship with Lorna, the falling out with Harry and how I’d tried to shield my parents from each of his dark moments.
‘I didn’t want them to worry with being so far away and Chez was adamant he didn’t want me telling tales but I think that, in trying to protect them all, I might have made it worse.’
‘Sounds like you were stuck between a rock and a hard place,’ Poppy said. ‘If you’d told your parents, you’d have broken Chez’s confidence so you tried to support him yourself and ended up getting the brunt of his frustration. In your shoes, I don’t think I’d have done anything different.’
‘Do you have any brothers or sisters?’
‘No. My parents never wanted children, but they took my birth mum in when she was four months pregnant with me and they never got rid of me.’
Poppy said it flippantly but the accompanying smile didn’t reach her eyes. So many questions sprang to mind from that one statement, and I hesitated, wondering if it was too soon and too intrusive to ask them.
‘So, how old is Imogen?’ Poppy asked. ‘She mentioned some other children earlier who I think are maybe siblings but not yours?’
‘She’s eight, she has a stepbrother, half-brother, half-sister and twin half-brothers on the way. And you’ve just changed the subject.’ I couldn’t not acknowledge what she’d said.
Poppy stared into her drink. ‘I don’t normally talk about me.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I’m not very interesting.’
‘Why would you think that?’
‘Because the last two people I dated told me. I haven’t dared inflict myself on anyone else since then.’
I reeled back, stunned that anyone would say that about her or that she’d believe it. ‘Whoever they were, they couldn’t have been more wrong. I find you fascinating.’
‘You probably won’t if you get to know me.’
She lifted her head, and my throat tightened as I noticed the tears glistening in her eyes. She’d been deeply hurt by the people who’d told her that and it was clear to me that I’m not very interesting was her version of me repeatedly being friend zoned. No wonder she was so nervous. No wonder she’d wanted to escape.
‘Let me be the judge of that,’ I said, gently. ‘We don’t have to talk about your family if you don’t feel comfortable with that. Let’s start simple. Favourite TV programme.’
She smiled. ‘That’s easy. Darrington Detects . Serious fangirl moment earlier when I met Cole Crawford. I still can’t believe that happened. What about you?’
‘Oh, I fangirl over him all the time too. That’s one sexy vicar.’
Poppy laughed at that – a proper belly laugh – and I felt her melancholy lifting.
‘I had another fangirl moment the first time I met Amber’s sister, Sophie,’ I told her. ‘Fizz used to obsessively watch Mercury’s Rising and Barney and I would take the mickey out of it but it was secretly our guilty pleasure. Never dreamed my best mate would end up marrying Mercury Addison’s big sister.’
‘I loved Mercury’s Rising too. Wasn’t Sophie’s boyfriend in that too?’
‘Devon? Yes. They were together for several years but Sophie had a horrific experience on a reality TV show when she was eighteen and they split up. Then last year, they were cast in a period drama together, realised they were still deeply in love and they’ve been inseparable ever since.’
‘Aw, that’s so sweet. The whole family seem lovely.’
‘They are. Barney’s parents and sister have always been like a second family to me and now Amber’s clan have adopted me too. So, another question. If you weren’t an accountant, what would you like to be?’
‘A full-time beekeeper. I already look after twenty hives and it would be a dream to expand it and make it into a proper business…’
I listened, fascinated, as she told me how she’d got into beekeeping and how her plans for skincare products hadn’t progressed when her mum received a terminal illness diagnosis. With my assurance that I was genuinely interested in hearing more, she told me about her mum’s demise, the double-whammy of her dad being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s shortly afterwards and how the break at Whisperwood Farmhouse had been an attempt to stave off burnout.
She asked me about my relationship with Tilly, why she’d called off the engagement and about the sort of relationship we had now, and she told me about Phil and how wanting very different things out of life had ended their marriage but not their friendship. It sounded as though his family meant the same to her as Barney’s meant to me and I was glad for her that she had such caring people around her.
Poppy was so easy to talk to and I felt like I could tell her anything. We bounced from topic to topic but, despite talking a lot about her parents, she didn’t expand on her original statement about them, and I didn’t push. She’d open up on that one when she was ready. Whoever the two men were who’d told her she wasn’t interesting couldn’t have been further from the truth. She had to be the most fascinating woman I’d ever met and I was hanging off every word, eager to learn more.
Noticing her empty glass sometime later, I went to top it up but, amazingly, we’d managed to finish the bottle.
‘Would you like anything else to drink?’ I asked.
‘I don’t think I can manage any more wine but I’d love a Baileys on ice.’
‘Back in a few minutes.’
‘Joel!’ she called as I set off. ‘I’m glad I didn’t escape. This has been great. You’re such a lovely man.’
I smiled and thanked her but, as I made my way to the bar, my stomach sank. Such a lovely man. I’d heard that comment so many times – the classic precursor to a request just to be friends. I did this every time – had a conversation with a woman in which I asked questions, listened, showed understanding and empathy and shared my own experiences where appropriate and where did it get me? Right in the middle of the friend zone.
In the bar, I spotted Amber across the room talking to her mum and smiled to myself, imagining Amber waving the manifesting book in front of my face and saying Did the negative thoughts get you the job? No! So, are they going to get you the girl? Of course not! It had felt different talking to Poppy, as though there’d been a deeper, stronger connection between us. I’d certainly opened up way more than I usually did, and I felt like she had too. It’s going well and it’s going to continue to go well.
I fancied a Baileys too but, when I returned from the bar with the two glasses, Poppy had gone. Of course she had! My shoulders slumped, my earlier positivity slinking away down the corridor. I placed the drinks down on the table, sank onto the sofa with a sigh and slumped forward with my head in my hands. Another one bites the dust. What should I have done instead? Moved straight in for a kiss without conversation? Taken her back to my room and tried to seduce her? It wasn’t me. I couldn’t show such a lack of respect so if that meant I was going to stay single, so be it. At least my integrity would remain intact.
‘Are you okay, Joel?’
My head shot up and there was Poppy standing over me, looking concerned.
‘I thought you’d gone.’
‘I’d just nipped to the loo. Why would I leave?’
‘Because you said I was lovely and that’s usually followed by a request just to be friends, and I assumed that’s what you meant and you’d maybe decided it would be easier to slope off rather than have that awkward conversation.’ The minute I’d blurted that out, I felt stupid. I’d massively overreacted and, while I hadn’t put her off earlier, I might well have done now.
Poppy sat down beside me. ‘Why do you see being friends as such a bad thing?’
‘It isn’t. I’m glad I spent the evening with you. It’s actually the best evening I’ve had for a long time which is quite a turnaround given what happened on the terrace, but I completely understand why you’d only want friendship. I was the one who said I had no expectations and I meant it. It’s not your fault I desperately want to kiss you.’
Her brow knitted slightly. ‘Do you?’
‘God, yes! But I’m not going to throw myself at you so don’t panic.’
She cocked her head to one side, a smile playing on her lips. ‘Does it have to be a choice – friendship or passion?’
‘In my experience, yes. And it’s usually friendship.’
‘Can’t it be both? Phil and I started off as friends and that became so much more and it was an amazing relationship because we had friendship and passion. Yes, it ended and we reverted to being friends, but it only ended because we got together so young, before we knew who we were and what we really wanted out of life. We could have emerged from the other side battle scarred and resentful. Instead, we chose to let go and preserve the friendship. But those years where we had the friendship and the passion were perfect and it’s my dream to find that again with someone else.’
Could that someone else be me? The words were in my head, but I couldn’t seem to spit them out.
‘I’m older now,’ Poppy said. ‘Hopefully wiser too and I know what I want.’
‘What’s that?’ I asked, my heart pounding as she moved a little closer, her leg pressing against mine.
‘You.’
She ran her fingers into my hair and pressed her lips against mine in the most incredible gentle kiss which left me wanting more.
‘I’m still nervous,’ she whispered, her eyes searching mine.
‘Me too, but we both know what that means.’
I cupped her face and lowered my lips to hers, melting into a deeply passionate kiss which had my heart pounding. I’d wanted to do that all night. Heck, I’d wanted to do it when I saw her in the garden centre, and it was better than anything I’d imagined.