Chapter 38
38
JOEL
Having called in sick for all three of my night shifts, I had to be back at work on Thursday for the start of my day shifts. I felt terrible about leaving Poppy when her dad was in hospital, but Stanley was clearly made of strong stuff because he did seem to be fighting his chest infection. Poppy had been going to hospital for the morning and afternoon visiting hours so, after a tearful goodbye on both our parts, I set off back to Yorkshire before she left on Wednesday morning.
Arriving home early in the afternoon, I leaned against the kitchen worktop eating a prepacked sandwich I’d bought from a service station. The house felt empty without Chez, even though we’d barely seen each other during his recent stay and it felt soulless without Poppy, even though she’d never even visited. I missed her so much, I felt a physical ache inside of me. The worst thing was not knowing when I’d be able to see her again. I could have driven to Winchcote after my Saturday shift ended to spend Easter Sunday and Monday with her, but I could see how anxious she was becoming about her rising work levels so we’d agreed not to commit to anything and to play it by ear depending on what happened with her dad.
While I’d been at Dove Cottage, the estate agents had visited and both came up with the same proposed asking price. Sharon and Ian had then stopped by so Poppy and I took Benji for a walk round the village while they had a good look round. When we returned and they gave her an asking price offer, Poppy burst into tears. It meant so much to her that the house – and particularly the garden – would be loved once more. Knowing she had a firm sale, she rang Mary and told her that she’d love to have first refusal on Whisperwood Farmhouse and Mary had confirmed that nothing would give her greater pleasure than to sell it to someone who so clearly loved it.
After my shift on Friday evening, I spoke to Poppy and we made the difficult decision that I wouldn’t drive down on Saturday night. She was snowed under with work after squeezing in a solicitor appointment for the sale of Dove Cottage and spending time choosing paint colours for Whisperwood Farmhouse. Mary had suggested it made more sense for Poppy to liaise with the decorators so that Whisperwood would be done up to her taste. She ran the colour choices by me, wanting to make sure they were to my taste too. When she’d still been in Yorkshire and we’d spent that evening fantasising about her buying the house, being Bumblebee Barn’s beekeeper and me opening a bistro, we’d talked about us both living at Whisperwood, but she hadn’t mentioned that since. I wondered if my approval of the colour scheme was because she imagined me moving in with her at some point down the line. I wasn’t going to ask because I appreciated that moving to Yorkshire was an enormous step for her and I personally didn’t need that reassurance. I had no doubt that living together would be in our future, but it would happen when the time was right.
Early on Easter Sunday evening, I was sitting on the sofa and flicking through the TV channels, enjoying the smells drifting from the kitchen as a couple of casseroles cooked in the oven ready for my meals next week. My mind kept drifting to Imogen. Only two more days and she’d be back from Scotland. It felt like she’d been away for months. We’d had a couple of FaceTime conversations since that distraught one. She’d decided that the campsite wasn’t that bad after all, but was still adamant that she wasn’t moving to Scotland, although there was thankfully no further talk about running away. After the most recent call, I’d spoken to a very pale and subdued-looking Tilly who, without any prompt from me, had suggested Wednesday for a proper conversation. I hoped Imogen’s reaction to moving had made her think twice about it as I really didn’t want to have to go down the legal route to stop her.
I heard a car pull up outside and, in the glow from the street lamp, I recognised it as Tilly’s. She wasn’t due back until Tuesday. If there was something wrong with Imogen, she’d have phoned rather than turned up.
I opened the door before she had a chance to ring the bell. ‘I thought you were still in Scotland.’
‘Urgh, don’t! Can we talk?’
I stood back to let her in.
‘We got back this afternoon,’ she said, plonking herself down on the sofa with a sigh. ‘Worst holiday we’ve ever had. The kids hated it. Why am I telling you that? You already know. Truth is, I wasn’t too impressed either. The campsite needs a lot of work and you were right about the reality of doing that with newborn twins. The nearest school is miles away. Actually, it isn’t but the roads are so bad that it takes forever to get there. It’s just not practical for a young family.’
I genuinely felt sorry for her. It hurt when your dreams were crushed.
‘Greg and I hardly ever argue but it was all we seemed to do while we were away. At one point, I was this close to jumping in the car and abandoning him there. I told him he was being stubborn – that it might be a long-held dream, it might remind him of the happy camping trips he had in Scotland as a kid, but it wasn’t going to be a happy place for our family.’
‘So you’re not moving?’
‘We’re not moving. Imogen’s meltdown broke my heart. They go on about how resilient kids are and Imogen has proved that over and over, so the fact that she got so upset was a massive wake-up call about how wrong this move was for her.’
I could hardly believe what I was hearing and had to double-check it. ‘Moving’s definitely off the cards?’
‘Yes.’
‘And Greg’s accepted this?’
‘He doesn’t have a choice.’
Her voice cracked and tears pooled in her eyes. Despite the hell she’d put me through, I wasn’t heartless. ‘Are you two okay?’
‘Bet it’d make you really happy if I said no.’
I’d had enough of her sarcastic quips and suggestions that I wanted their relationship to fall apart. ‘Why do you say things like that? Of course I wouldn’t be happy! What sort of person do you think I am?’
She shook her head and sighed. ‘Sorry. I can’t seem to help myself. I know you’re not like that. I’m just…’ She sighed again. ‘Forget it.’ She started to push herself up.
‘Cup of tea?’ I asked. ‘And a chance to offload?’
She sank back down, a tear escaping down her cheek. ‘Yes, please, to both.’
‘Well, that was certainly a turn-up for the books,’ I muttered as I waved Tilly off and closed the front door an hour later.
We still had a lot more to talk about but we’d managed to get a lot out in the open. I was sorry to hear that things were rough right now between her and Greg – didn’t like the bloke but Tilly clearly loved him so I hoped they could get past this quickly – but I was so relieved to hear that she’d woken up to the impact of the move on Imogen. She’d been devastated by Imogen’s emotional reaction to the move. Ezra and Delphine had understandably been upset at seeing their big sister so distraught and they’d had several fraught days.
Tilly admitted that what I’d said about her looking at the move with rose-tinted glasses had been an eye-opener too.
‘Greg had painted a vision of us living the dream in beautiful surroundings and, after what you said, I wondered if he’d even considered how we’d manage routine maintenance or things going wrong. I put a few scenarios to him – a blocked toilet, a leak in a glamping pod, a herd of Highland cows getting through a broken fence – and do you know what his answer was to all of them? I’d get a bloke in to sort it. And at that moment I realised we were living in cloud cuckoo land. As if we could afford a bloke every time something went wrong. So not only is Scotland off the cards – running a campsite anywhere is.’
‘Obviously I’m relieved, but I’m sorry your dream’s over. What’ll you do instead?’
‘Don’t know and, right now, I’m too exhausted to care. I thought being pregnant with one baby was bad, but it was a walk in the park compared to twins.’
It was too good an opportunity to miss, so I mooted the idea of Imogen staying with me more as Tilly progressed with her pregnancy, which was met with a tut and a roll of the eyes.
‘And how are you going to manage that when you work shifts?’
‘I won’t be working shifts. I’m taking redundancy.’
I half-expected her to challenge me on how I was going to keep up my maintenance payments, but she surprised me by saying she was sorry to hear that and asking if I was all right. When she asked what I was going to do instead, I told her I was taking some time out to consider my options. I didn’t mention anything about the bistro. It wasn’t right to say anything to Tilly before I’d even spoken to Barney and Amber and, even if they approved, there were so many hurdles to jump over that it might not even happen – although I’d been doing a lot of manifesting about it.
‘That’s how I can help more with Imogen,’ I said. ‘I know it’s a struggle for you to let go, but it’s hard for me to be without her and it’s tough on her too. What Imogen wants has to be our priority and I know she wants to spend more time with me because she constantly tells me that.’
Tilly didn’t respond and I wondered if she somehow saw Imogen wanting to spend more time with me as a rejection of her when it was far from that.
‘I’m not suggesting she leaves home and moves in with me permanently,’ I said. ‘But you’ve already admitted how exhausted you are and it’s only going to get harder. And that’s before the twins even arrive. Let me help by having Imogen more so that you can focus on them and, when you’re settled in a routine with them and I know what my future career looks like, we can talk about a more balanced custody arrangement.’
‘I’ll think about it,’ she said, an edge to her voice. ‘I need to go before they send out a search party for me.’
I followed her to the door and it struck me that, as I’d been transparent about my work situation, there was something else I needed to be honest about.
‘You heard that first FaceTime with Imogen so you’ll have heard me mention Poppy,’ I blurted out, feeling nervous about her reaction. ‘I met her at the wedding and we’ve been seeing each other.’
Tilly completely threw me by smiling. ‘I asked Imogen who Poppy was and she told me how you met at the wedding. She said you were just friends, but she thought you should be more. I’m pleased for you, Joel. I told you before that I only ever wanted you to be happy.’
‘You’re not angry that Imogen has met her already?’
‘How could I be? It’s not like you planned it. Sounds like destiny to me. I hope it works out for you both. I really do.’
She set off along the path, then turned. ‘I’m glad you’re leaving that factory. It was never right for you. I think you should do something with your cooking. I always thought you had a gift for it.’
And then she was gone, leaving me standing in the doorway, mouth open, wondering what had just happened. That was the Tilly I recognised – the woman I’d loved. I hadn’t expected that trip to Scotland to be the best thing that could have ever happened but it looked like it might have been.