Chapter 9
Some days later, Elizabeth sat at the breakfast table with her family, listening more than joining in with the chattering. Jane nudged her gently with her elbow, saving her just in time from impeding the maid who had come to put a platter of fresh fruit on the table. Elizabeth would have sent the whole thing clattering to the floor if not for Jane ’ s timely intervention.
“ What is the matter with you, Lizzy? You have been yawning the whole time we have been at table. It is very bad manners, I do say,” her mother chided.
“ Forgive me, Mama. I did not sleep well,” Elizabeth explained. Her father sent her a worried glance, but she quickly shrugged it away. “ I shall rest before dinner this evening.”
“ Well, I believe a walk to Meryton is in order,” Lydia cut in. “ It is a beautiful morning, and I dare say there will be no rain since there has been a downpour the last few days.” Lydia took a large bite of her toast, but she did not let this stop her from speaking. “ We can take a little excursion to look for supplies for Lizzy ’ s trousseau.”
Elizabeth nearly swallowed the pit of the plum she had been eating. “ My trousseau?” she asked.
“ Yes, of course! What a splendid idea!” Mrs Bennet piped up. “ I am sorry I cannot go. I am engaged to visit Mrs Long, but all of you girls should go and help your sister pick out the finest fabric for her wedding gown. I am sure Mr Darcy will send to London for anything else that is needed at the Pemberley estate for Elizabeth to do her duty as the next mistress.”
Elizabeth ’ s cheeks burned, and she found she could not stomach another bite. Her middle seemed to have turned into a great roiling pit, like the churning sea at the centre of a winter storm.
“ I think it is a splendid idea as well. That is, if you are not too exhausted, Lizzy?” Mr Bennet father put in.
She could well imagine her father would relish some peace and quiet around the house. “ No, I am not too tired. Thank you, Papa.”
In truth, she had been avoiding going into town with her sisters since the scandalous affair at the Netherfield ball. Yet it could not be put off forever. She would need to reenter society at some time. It would be awkward at first to see how people viewed her now that her reputation had been sullied, but there was simply no choice.
She sat back and nibbled at her food and tried to hide her yawning. Elizabeth had no wish to draw her mother’s censure yet again. Her talk with Mr Darcy and what they had discovered in the library and outside the side door had caused her to spend several sleepless nights. Even the evidence they had found — the hook and the boot print — would do little good unless they could find out who was responsible. It was only a matter of assuaging her curiosity that she would want to know why. What gain would come from someone forcing her to wed Mr Darcy was beyond her.
When breakfast was at an end, the girls got their things together, put on their bonnets and cloaks, and headed out for Meryton. It was, indeed, a fine morning. And once she was out of the house, Elizabeth felt her spirits lift. She had not been out of doors since visiting Netherfield. No doubt that had contributed to her worsening mood and anxiety. Elizabeth took a deep breath, exhilarated by the cool, crisp air filling her lungs and the slight chill in the air. Birds were flying overhead, disappearing to places unknown. If only she could be like those birds and fly away, leaving all her troubles like little specks far below her on the ground.
“ We shall look for the most sumptuous fabric for your wedding gown, Lizzy,” Lydia said, linking arms with Elizabeth as they walked. “ I think a nice soft blue would do very well. Or even a bright yellow?”
“ No, not yellow,” Elizabeth said. “ I like the idea of wearing blue on my wedding day,” she added.
“ I would think a more subdued colour would be the order of the day. A wedding should be entered into with all gravity and decorum.” Mary chimed in with her usual severity. “ I would think a dove grey, or even sensible black, would be more fitting. Besides, Mr Darcy does not strike me as one who would like his future wife to flaunt herself.”
“ Nonsense,” Lydia argued, waving their sister off in total disregard. “ One cannot wear mourning colours for their own wedding. What would people think?”
“ One does not always have to care so much about what others think, Lydia, but only what is right,” Jane said from the back of the group. “ I would think that Mr Darcy ’ s opinion would be the only one that Lizzy should consider.”
Elizabeth ’ s heart raced as her sisters discussed her future. Perhaps mourning colours would be more appropriate, given how she felt. But it would not do to punish Mr Darcy for the accident. He was, after all, being very gentlemanly about the whole situation. Though she doubted he would care one way or the other whether she wore yellow, grey, or any other colour.
Lydia pulled her aside, allowing the rest of the sisters to pass by, with Kitty trailing behind to listen in. “ Blue becomes you, Lizzy. And the emerald green dress you have is very pretty, although I am sure we can find something a little richer for your special day.”
“ I agree,” Kitty put in. “ Mr Darcy will not mind, I do not think. Indeed, likely he will purchase you a whole roomful of new gowns when you are his wife.”
Elizabeth caught Jane ’ s eye and shook her head. All their younger sisters seemed to care about were pretty dresses, rich husbands, and being entertained. They did not seem to spare a thought for being suited to one’s partner in life.
The girls rushed ahead when they got close to the shops in Meryton. Elizabeth and Jane stayed near the back of the group, watching as the girls flitted from shop to shop. First, they went to the milliners to look at the newest bonnets, then to the dressmaker’s shop to pick out a bolt for Elizabeth ’ s gown. She allowed it since she did not yet see a way she could avoid her marriage to Mr Darcy. However, she did not allow them to choose the most expensive cloth, but opted for a simple cotton in a pretty shade of emerald green, as Kitty suggested.
When they had made all of their purchases, they started back toward home. Dark grey clouds were billowing in the distance. They would have just enough time to make it home before the drizzle started, Elizabeth thought.
“ You are so lucky, Lizzy. I wish I had found a rich husband to fall all over me,” Lydia breathed with a dreamy, far-off look.
“Lydia!” Jane said in shock.
Elizabeth bit her tongue to avoid replying as angrily as she would have liked to. “Lydia, do not say such things,” she reprimanded her. “If you can, do not even think them, but at least do not speak so loosely when anyone might hear you.”
Even as she spoke, Elizabeth saw a cluster of militiamen gathered at the edge of town. Upon seeing Mr Wickham among them, a confusing mixture of emotions rushed through her. Once, she would have been simply glad to see him, but even an engagement of practicality deserved proper respect. She could not speak so freely with him as she had once done. Having such excellent manners as he did, he must feel the same. Surely there could not help but be an awkwardness and a coldness between them. The other gentlemen were his brother officers, out for a stroll during the few hours they had off during the week. Elizabeth recognised Captain Benny, a particular favourite of Kitty and Lydia, but knew none of the others.
“ Ladies! How fortunate we have run into you this fine day! Shall we see you back to Longbourn?” one of them asked. Though Elizabeth did not recognise the man, Lydia and Kitty seemed to know him well and answered with a friendliness amounting almost to familiarity. It was more than a little concerning. After the hideous embarrassment of the Netherfield Ball, their family had no room for any missteps. If their father did not check his younger daughters, especially Lydia, they would go down in Meryton’s history as the silliest and most determined flirts that had ever made their family ridiculous.
“ Miss Elizabeth,” Mr Wickham said as he fell into stride beside her. “ How good it is to see you.”
“ Thank you, sir,” Elizabeth replied, but kept her tone formal. “ It has been some time since we have seen you.”
“ I was called away on a mission for one of my superiors. I hear that Meryton has had its share of excitement while I have been away. Or rather, Netherfield, to be more precise.” He gave her a curious grin, his smile wide. “ Is it really true that you and Mr Darcy are engaged?”
“ It is,” Elizabeth agreed, with no little disappointment. How strange to remember that she had hoped Mr Wickham might ask her to dance at the Netherfield Ball. It had only been less than a fortnight before, yet her life had changed completely.
He continued to smile at her, but his expression felt rather odd. Was there not something almost flirtatious about it? He leaned closer as they walked, lowering his voice. “ How do you feel about the match? I thought, after what we had discussed before, that it would have been entirely odious to you.”
Elizabeth grew even more uncomfortable. “ Really, Mr Wickham, I do not believe this subject is one that is entirely appropriate for us to discuss.” She had been trying to get back to life as normal, but even so, people looked at her differently. Even when they had been in town at the shops, people had looked at her with sideways glances. “ What happened was an unfortunate mistake. Nothing more. And I should like to leave it at that, if you please.”
“ Of course. Of course!” Mr Wickham said. “ It is a pity there is not someone else who might step in and save you from such an unfortunate situation. Surely, Mr Darcy is not the sort of man you want to be saddled with for the rest of your days.”
Elizabeth was angry at his persistence. “ And who else ’ s responsibility would it be, if not Mr Darcy ’ s?”
Mr Wickham stopped on the dirt road. After a moment, she turned to face him. The rest of their party continued on as if they had forgotten all about the pair. “ I would think any man would count it an honour to be your husband.”
The way he looked at her set her stomach to fluttering with butterflies again, even as it had the night of the ball, when she had thought about Mr Wickham asking her to dance. But this was not at all appropriate. Why was he seeming to flirt with her when he knew she was engaged to another man?
Elizabeth frowned but said nothing. She was too flustered to say anything that she would not regret later. She hurried to catch up with her sisters and the other officers, linking her arm with Jane ’ s for safety. Mr Wickham did eventually catch up with them as well, but Elizabeth barely looked in his direction.
What was he thinking? And what kind of man was he? When she had been single, he had seemed to have some interest in her, but had remained silent. Now that she was engaged, he had shed his silence and was trying to tell her something that she did not want to hear. Perfidious man! Or were all of the male half of the species this way?
“ Are you well?” Jane whispered as they neared Longbourn. “ You have been quiet the whole way home.”
Thankfully, Mr Wickham had gone on ahead, leaving her and Jane to bring up the rear of the group. “ I am troubled, Jane. But I would rather not discuss it here. Mr Wickham confuses me.”
Jane frowned slightly. “ Really? I cannot imagine Mr Wickham doing or saying anything to upset you. He is such an amiable man. And he seems to hold you in such high regard.” Thankfully, she had been careful to lower her voice, so the others would not overhear.
“ Too high,” Elizabeth murmured. “ I cannot be certain, but it seemed almost as though Mr Wickham was trying to flirt with me. He spoke very familiarly.”
“ Surely not!” Jane said. “ You are betrothed to another. No man would act with such impropriety.”
Elizabeth said nothing to this. Jane was a little too apt to trust everybody, and to think the best of them — even those that did not deserve it. Once, Elizabeth would have said that Mr Wickham was the most deserving of men. She wished she might think so still. And yet his tone had been too markedly flirtatious to ignore. Elizabeth knew she had not imagined it.
“ Look how attentive he is to Lydia and Kitty,” Jane asked, pointing ahead to where Mr Wickham had come between the girls and offered each of them an arm as they had to traverse a small rivulet that cut across their path.
Elizabeth watched the group with some concern. Lydia and Kitty were giggling, and Mary walked along quietly as the rest had a rip-roaring time. The officers seemed wholly smitten with the younger Bennet girls, but Elizabeth wondered what their motives were. Few of the officers could afford to marry a wife with so small a dowry. It was all too likely they were bent on nothing more than flirtation, and Kitty and Lydia lacked the judgement to know when to stop. The situation was dangerous indeed.
Elizabeth hated to be so distrusting of people, but then again, if she did not watch out for her family, it seemed that no one would. Her father was too engrossed in his books and his collections of various flora and fauna, while her mother was too eager when any gentleman came to call. Indeed, she would have jumped at the chance to have Mr Collins as a son-in-law, no matter how miserable it would have been to be his wife.
“ You say that I do not worry enough, Lizzy,” Jane said, intruding on her private thoughts. “ But perhaps you worry too much sometimes. Mr Wickham is not the sort of man who would toy with a woman ’ s emotions. We have gotten to know him too well for any of us to think that of him.”
Elizabeth again held her tongue. Did they know him? How well could a person truly know another? She had thought that she knew Mr Darcy, but his actions had shown her she had been wrong in her judgements against him. He had stood up and said he would protect her, no matter the consequences to himself. Never in a thousand years would she have guessed him to be so generous, so selfless, so ready to sacrifice all pride for what he felt was right.
When they reached the gate, they said their goodbyes to the officers, and they moved off down the road, heading back toward town and the barracks that had been set up outside Meryton. Mr Wickham waited at the gate until Elizabeth was about to walk through.
“ I hope I did not cause you undo offense, Miss Elizabeth. I only meant to offer some comfort in the very difficult situation in which you find yourself.”
Elizabeth nodded. “ I will not pretend to be ignorant of what you mean, Mr Wickham. However, I would prefer not to dwell on things that cannot be changed.” It was a half-truth. Her escape from her unwanted marriage with Mr Darcy was all that occupied her thoughts. But it was not something she would willingly discuss with Mr Wickham. “ I bid you good day.”
Elizabeth bowed and was about to walk through the gate when Mr Wickham stepped in front of her path. “ Please, Miss Elizabeth.” He captured her hand and raised it to his lips before she could think of pulling it away. Heat immediately rushed into her cheeks. She knew he would misunderstand her angry flush for flirtatious embarrassment. “ I want to help you if I can. Just think about it, if you please. It would give me the greatest pleasure to be of service to you.”
She tore her hand away and clasped her hands tightly in front of her. “ Thank you, Mr Wickham, but I am not in need of any service you might provide. Good day,” she said curtly and turned. As she did, she caught sight of someone coming up the road from the opposite direction. Her heart nearly stopped its wild beating when she saw who it was. Mr Darcy strode toward them, his face utterly furious.
Elizabeth drew in a deep, shuddering breath. To judge by the rage on Mr Darcy’s brow, she might get her wish and escape an unwanted marriage, after all.
Yet such a wish would leave her unprotected. And not only her, but the whole Bennet family.