Chapter 15
Elizabeth knocked on the door of her mother’s bedchamber, her heart pounding with every moment that went by as she waited in the corridor. Mr Darcy had departed four days ago, and she knew he would soon be returning. If her mother was to confess to any involvement in the plot to force Mr Darcy into an engagement with her, there was no better time than the present to get her confession.
“Enter!” her mother finally called. Elizabeth took a deep breath and resolved to get to the point as quickly as possible. She had stalled long enough, but not knowing the truth had made sleep elusive and her appetite dwindle until everyone in the family, even her father, had noticed that something was not quite right with the usually cheerful Lizzy.
Elizabeth opened the door, peeking around the jamb as she went. Her mother sat before her vanity as the maid arranged her curls under a freshly starched white cap. “Ah, Lizzy. What is it, darling? Are you feeling any better?”
Elizabeth eyed the maid, suddenly frozen and wishing she had planned what she might say to get her mother alone. “I am well, thank you.” She paused for a moment. “Mama, I wonder if we might discuss — ” She froze again. How could she get her mother alone without resorting to false pretences?
Mrs Bennet swung around on the stool. Strangely, there was a look of understanding on her face. “Ah. I see. I know what you are here for, my dear girl. Out,” she said flatly, waving the maid toward the door and clicking her tongue as she got up and all but chased the young girl out. “We cannot discuss things of great import in front of the servants, you know. They all like to wag their tongues and spin the rumour mill.” Her mother closed the door with a loud bang and turned to face her. “You must be cautious of that when you are married.”
Elizabeth could not begin to understand what her mother was talking about. “Mama?”
Her mother waved her over to the vanity stool, just as she had shooed the maid away. “The servants, Lizzy! You will have to establish your role at Pemberley with care when you go there, coming to it as its new mistress. And your job will be even more delicate at Pemberley than what you might find in many houses. It is such a grand estate. There is a certain familial tenderness that we display with our servants here at Longbourn. However, Pemberley is not just a crumbling country house —”
“Mama,” Elizabeth interrupted, knowing that her mother might go off for hours on such a tangent. She might lose her opportunity altogether if she did not steer her toward the subject she had come to discuss.
“Ah, yes, but you are not here to discuss the servants, I think?” Her mother gave her a knowing look as she paced amongst the rather cluttered furnishings of the room. Elizabeth watched her mother step around an armchair and stop short in front of an inlaid table full of decorative figurines, her anxiety rising as she looked over the chaotic pell-mell strewn all about. She was unsure how her mother could think in such crowded circumstances. Not that the room was dirty, but her mother had an affinity for collecting little articles that might be of use down the road. It made for a very cluttered existence very different from any Elizabeth would wish to lead, especially when she was mistress of her own home.
“I know what you have come to ask me, and it is nothing to be ashamed of, my dear,” her mother said when Elizabeth did not answer straight away. No doubt, she mistook her silence for nervousness or embarrassment. “The intimacy between a man and a woman on their wedding night, or the marriage debt as some call it, is one that is sanctioned by the Church and the Lord — ”
For a moment, Elizabeth thought she might faint from horror at the misunderstanding. “Mama, please. I did not come to discuss that,” she said hurriedly, rising from the vanity stool as though it might help her escape the conversation.
Her mother frowned in confusion. “Then what is it, my dear? You have not been yourself of late. I thought at first that you were pining for Mr Darcy, knowing that he has gone away to London on business. However, you may comfort yourself that it is not meant to be a long journey. Really, my dear, how silly you are! Do not you know that he has gone to procure a special license for you? And I am sure he will return before another week has passed.”
Sooner than that , Elizabeth mused. And she would never say what she had come to say if her mother would not allow her to get a word in edge-wise. Perhaps the best way would be to simply blurt it out and deal with the fallout when it came. She took a steadying breath, hating to think of the damage she would inflict on her mother, but knowing that it had to be done.
“Mama, I have come to ask you about the incident in the library at the Netherfield Ball. Mr Darcy and I feel that something is not adding up, and that someone actually contrived to have us meet there, and staged the fall which brought us to the point of engagement.” She licked her lips as her mother settled on the chest at the foot of her bed, shocked, if the look on her face was any indication. Elizabeth took a deep breath, knowing she could no longer postpone the inevitable. “What I have come to ask is if you had anything to do with that incident, Mama.”
“What are you saying, Lizzy?” Mrs Bennet asked, her voice trembling. “I cannot think what you mean.”
“Mama, please forgive me for being so blunt, but I must know. All my life and future happiness may depend on the answer. What I am asking is, did you bear some responsibility for what happened that night? Did you plan to have Mr Darcy and I caught in a compromising position?” Elizabeth asked again in the plainest terms. She cringed at the sound of her own voice, at how harsh and cold it must have sounded to her mother.
Mrs Bennet stood, her eyes wide with confusion. Elizabeth bit her lip. Was there not some guilt in her expression, too? The idea was too horrible to believe.
At last, her mother spoke. “I must confess that once you and Mr Darcy had been engaged, I thought how very fortunate we were to have such a rich gentleman as a part of our family. But I am surprised at you, Lizzy! To think that I could arrange for a scandal of that magnitude to befall my own daughter — ” She looked away and started picking at the ribbons on her stays. “It would have been much too risky. Too risky, indeed, for me to have had any involvement in.”
Elizabeth looked away. She did not wish her mother to see the expression in her eyes at hearing so ugly a compromise described not in terms of honour and dishonour, right and wrong, but of risk. She had already hurt her mother too much, and had no wish to do more. Elizabeth only wished she could have been more shocked at hearing her mother say such things. As it was, she was in very great danger of feeling more relief at Mrs Bennet’s innocence than dismay at her reasoning.
Mrs Bennet stood, pacing nervously. After a long moment, she stopped and turned back to her daughter. “Oh, Lizzy. I will not lie to you and say that I am not pleased with the outcome. I think Mr Darcy has acted in a very gentleman-like manner by asking for your hand and standing by you.”
“I cannot disagree,” Elizabeth replied. “Let us be very clear, Mama. Once and for all, tell me. You truly had nothing to do with what happened in the library at Netherfield that night?” She watched her mother’s face closely. Mrs Bennet was not a liar, nor as ashamed of what had happened as Elizabeth would wish her to be. Surely she would not withhold the truth.
“Of course not,” Mrs Bennet said with a flip of her wrist. “As I said, I am not sorry that the incident occurred. But it does not mean that I planned it.” She turned and pinned Elizabeth with a serious stare. “Since we are being so candid, I suppose I shall ask you whether you willingly met Mr Darcy in the library. He is a very handsome man, after all. Quite handsome enough to turn a girl’s head.”
“No, Mama. How could you even think it?” Elizabeth asked in shock. “I was as surprised as Mr Darcy when he suddenly fell on top of me.” Elizabeth was certain that her cheeks were violently red.
Her mother softened and took her hands. “My dear, what is done is done. Whether the situation was planned or an accident, there is nothing that can release you from this engagement that would not result in your reputation being forever ruined. And not only that — your sisters would also pay the price.”
Elizabeth nodded. Her mother’s sincerity was altogether convincing. She had never been a good liar, nor one who could conceal her true feelings. If she had had anything to do with planning the incident, Elizabeth would have seen right through her. Indeed, her mother was so pleased with the match that she probably would not have even tried to hide her involvement if she had been a party to the events that had led to Elizabeth’s compromise and subsequent engagement to Mr Darcy.
“Now, if you are satisfied, I will tell you of the things that a married woman needs to know.” Her mother drew her over to the bed and had her sit on the edge, so that she might stand and face Elizabeth. She took both of Elizabeth’s hands and squeezed them. Elizabeth steeled herself. She was not sure she was ready to hear all that went into being a wife, but she suspected her mother could not be put off.
Still, she would at least try. “Mama, please — ”
“Shush, now. This is important,” Mrs Bennet said. She released her hands and began to pace. “Now, when you come into your new role as mistress of Pemberley, it is important to know that the Rieslings Warehouse in London is simply the best place to order furniture. I have it on good authority from Mrs Gardiner that they are the best in transporting items of such a nature. I am sure Mr Darcy has the house well-furnished, of course, but you never know when you may have an occasion to redecorate. Then there is the matter of how to properly arrange a fine dinner. You must insist that your housekeeper orders from only the best butcher. I shall have none of this nonsense about spreading one’s custom around — ”
Elizabeth let out a relieved sigh. Thankfully, her mother spent the rest of the hour discussing how to run a household efficiently and eventually circled back to the importance of having a firm hold on the servants. And so Elizabeth listened carefully, relieved that she would not have to endure her mother’s take on marital relations.
∞∞∞
Later that evening, about an hour before the sun was due to set, Elizabeth walked in the pasture at the rear of the Longbourn property. Learning that her mother had had nothing to do with the compromise had lifted a heavy weight off of her heart. Yet in terms of finding out who was responsible, it must be regarded as a serious setback. Indeed, it put them right back where they had started.
Elizabeth found herself strangely restless. Stranger still was the reason. Odd as it was, she found herself much less distraught by the fact that, for the time being, she and Me Darcy must stay engaged than the fact that she could not see him immediately and discuss her mother’s innocence. Strange indeed. Elizabeth could not entirely account for it, but somehow, Mr Darcy’s presence had become a comforting balm. Perhaps that was even more of a shock than all the rest. Her heart was changing toward him, as she had never thought it could.
Could she have been wrong all this time? By everything that he had shown in both word and deed, he was not the proud, austere man she had thought him to be. And in light of these facts, might he be an excellent partner, just as others had always told her?
Elizabeth looked up as she came to the small retaining wall, faced with yet another wall of grey clouds on the horizon. But she was hesitant to turn back. There was so much inside her that needed to be untangled. And to do so at home, where things were always in an uproar, seemed impossible.
Elizabeth closed her eyes and looked out toward the horizon once more. She smiled to find that the clouds were not the only thing in view. Coming across the pasture was none other than Charlotte Lucas. Her friend waved happily in greeting, and Elizabeth released a sigh of relief. She climbed over the sheep’s gate and started toward Charlotte. They met in the middle of the pasture and linked arms.
“I did not know you were coming to see me,” Charlotte said. Elizabeth looked at her, surprised and pleased. To judge by Charlotte’s expression, she must have received excellent news. Elizabeth could not remember the last time her friend had looked so very satisfied with the world.
“I had not meant to go anywhere in particular, if truth be told. However, I am exceedingly glad to see you.” Elizabeth already felt some of the strain fading from her heart. “I have missed you, my friend. Since the incident at Netherfield, we have scarcely laid eyes on each other.”
“Indeed, I have missed you as well. How are things going with the wedding preparations?” she asked softly. Charlotte had always been able to read her moods. While the two friends did not always agree, Elisabeth loved her dearly as she would a sister.
“They are coming along, I suppose,” Elizabeth replied. Oh, how she wished she could pour out her soul to Charlotte! It was such a burden having to keep the investigation that she and Mr Darcy were engaged in a secret! “But tell me your news. I wish to discuss something other than gloomy wedding details.”
Charlotte gave her an understanding smile, then took a steadying breath. “Well, that is actually what I have come to speak with you about.”
Elizabeth’s heart immediately clenched. If there was more bad news, she was unsure she could bear it. Surely it must not be too terrible, or Charlotte would not have looked so contented. “What has happened? Please, tell me quickly,” Elizabeth pressed her. She stopped in the middle of the field, turning Charlotte to face her so she could see every emotion playing over her face.
Charlotte took a steadying breath, then delved in. “My father received a letter the other day. From Mr Collins,” she said, barely above a whisper.
Elizabeth blinked. “Mr Collins?” It was difficult to see how a letter from Mr Collins could have such significance. “And what did he say?”
Charlotte clasped her hands in front of her, nervously shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “He says that he is glad to be returned home. Lady Catherine is most magnanimous, and has ordered further improvements to his cottage.”
Elizabeth raised a brow. There was more. Much more. Charlotte knew Elizabeth did not care for Mr Collins. He was a silly, empty-headed man who deferred to his patroness as if she were a saint. Yet Charlotte was relaying minute details of the man. There must be a reason. “And?”
Charlotte let out a worried sigh. “He has also said that news of the compromise has reached her ears, and Lady Catherine is livid. She has threatened to come to Meryton and put a stop to the engagement by any means necessary.”
Elizabeth nodded. They began walking again, arm in arm. Elizabeth was grateful for the movement. She could not stay still after that kind of news. “I suppose it is because of our position in society?” she prodded. Though her father was a gentleman, he had nowhere near the fortune that Mr Darcy possessed. Nor could he boast similarly exalted connections. Had she not heard somewhere that Mr Darcy’s uncle was an earl? Elizabeth was proud of her uncle for his gentlemanly manner, excellent sense, and loving care of his wife and family, but no one could claim that Mr Gardiner was the social equal of an earl.
“I believe that is a small part,” Charlotte went on as gently as she could. “However, I believe that there is another reason. Indeed, I am quite certain of it. According to Mr Collins, Anne de Bourgh, Lady Catherine’s daughter, has been promised to Mr Darcy since their infancy. They are cousins, you know.”
Elizabeth sucked in a quick breath. “I did not know,” she replied. Even more curious was why Mr Darcy had not mentioned it? If he were indeed engaged to someone else, he surely would not have spoken for her. Or had he thought that the urgency of the situation outweighed any promises made beforehand? “I confess, I am quite stunned.”
Charlotte rubbed her arm and tried to comfort her. “I am sure it will not amount to a thing. Lady Catherine will surely see there is nothing to be done about it now, not if she wants her nephew’s reputation to remain intact.”
Elizabeth grimaced. “I do not think that is so. You and I both know that the harm to Mr Darcy’s reputation would be far less than to my own. He is a very wealthy man, and society would soon forget the offence.”
As Charlotte could hardly deny it, she said nothing. They walked on for quite some time before Elizabeth spoke again. “Is that all that Mr Collins had to say? I do not wish to offend, but it did not seem that you and Mr Collins had many occasions to speak when he visited.”
Charlotte’s cheeks instantly filled with colour. “We did not — not particularly. But he knows you and I are good friends. When he was here, he made a point of asking me about you, what pleased you, your interests. Things of that nature. And…when he wrote to my father, he also spoke to him of me.”
Elizabeth sensed there was something more her friend was leaving out. She stopped short and would not move until Charlotte turned back to face her.
Elizabeth sucked in a quick breath. She could think of only one thing that might put such an odd mixture of shame and satisfaction on Charlotte’s face. “Has Mr Collins proposed marriage to you? In a letter to your father, no less?”
Charlotte looked as if Elizabeth had smacked her across the face. However, her face soon fell, and Elizabeth knew the truth of it. Her friend straightened her spine and nodded once. “He has.”
“And that is the real reason you came to see me?” Elizabeth went on. Her heart was in a turmoil.
“Yes,” she answered again. A pause ensued, the silence so deafening it made Elizabeth’s ears ring. “Will you not congratulate me, my dearest friend?”
Elizabeth was too taken aback for several moments to answer. “Mr Collins? You are engaged to him?”
“I have written my answer and my father sent it to him on this morning’s post. It’s not official, of course, but yes, I have accepted him.”
Elizabeth let out a frustrated sigh. “You cannot be serious!” She threw her hands up in the air. “He is utterly ridiculous!”
“Hush,” Charlotte snapped. “Mr Collins is perfectly respectable. He is the leader of a parish, with a good living and a suitable house. And he is respected in the community.” She furrowed her brow. “I do not see any reason I shouldn’t be as happy with him as any other.”
“He is a preening peacock, Charlotte.”
“I do not have the luxury of marrying for affection, Lizzy. Indeed, very few of us do. I am twenty-seven years old, with no money or prospects. Already, I am a burden to my parents.” She halted, wiping at the tears that had begun to stream down her cheeks.
Guilt washed over Elizabeth, such as she had never felt before. “Charlotte — ”
Her friend held up her hand, staying her words. Charlotte sighed heavily, then looked up at Elizabeth with such anguish of spirit that she wished the ground would swallow her. Never in a hundred years would she ever wish to bring her friend pain. But unwittingly, that is exactly what she had done.
“I’m afraid, Lizzy,” Charlotte admitted softly. “Not all of us are as pretty or as spirited as you. Some of us must compromise.”
“But what of your heart, Charlotte? Surely you deserve the chance for true love? For true happiness?” Elizabeth pleaded softly. She could not bear not to make the attempt. If the truth was told, she did not think Mr Collins was even half worthy of Charlotte Lucas.
Charlotte set her jaw and narrowed her eyes in determination. “The heart is a luxury.” She backed away, shaking her head. “You know my situation. So don’t you judge me, Lizzy. Don’t you dare judge me!”
Charlotte turned and hurried across the field, back the way she had come. Elizabeth felt too downcast to move from the spot. She stayed where she was, watching her dear friend grow smaller and smaller.
It would seem there was no end to the messes she could make of her life.