Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
“ W hat spell have you cast over my cousin?” Lady Fulford asked once they were in the park. She glanced over her shoulder to ensure the footman could not overhear their conversation.
“Whatever can you mean?”
“I have never heard Darcy compliment a lady before, not unless she was a relation.”
“Then I am suitably flattered,” Elizabeth said, not sure how else to respond.
“And the look he gave you!” Lady Fulford sighed happily. “I have never seen anything like it. He is violently in love with you. He is too cautious to love a lady who does not return his feelings. Thus, I conclude you love him too. I am delighted that yours is a love match. I must write to my mother. She was certain you only liked him for his money, especially because of that horrible article.”
“He is very worried about it, I am afraid. I hope there has not been another article. I thought he looked tired and troubled.”
“That you noticed only shows what an excellent wife you will make him. I did not, but I am just his cousin, and Lord Fulford would never call me an excellent wife!” Lady Fulford laughed, but Elizabeth detected little humour in it. She had yet to meet Lord Fulford and wondered at the state of the couple’s marriage.
A moment later, Lady Fulford continued. “I truly am pleased for you and especially for Darcy. I have been praying that he would find happiness after all he has endur—.” She cut off the word and cleared her throat. “That is not a story for me to share. Darcy will tell you one day, if he has not already.”
Elizabeth shook her head when Lady Fulford glanced at her. Questions danced on the tip of her tongue, but it would be rude to seek information about Mr Darcy that he evidently did not mean her to have. Instead, she asked a question about the house and soon her hostess was chatting about the improvements she had made since her wedding, which Elizabeth learnt was only four months past. Once she had said enough on the subject, Lady Fulford told her of the plans she had made for Elizabeth’s amusement, especially the many places they would go shopping.
Elizabeth noticed Mr Darcy before Lady Fulford did; she watched him approach, unsure of how warmly she should greet him. When he was a dozen yards away, Lady Fulford glanced at her and remarked, “Oh, here comes your betrothed now. He was not long with your father.”
“Perhaps there was not much to discuss,” she replied quietly.
Sunlight peeked from behind a distant cloud, and as the park was filled with warmth, so too was his expression as he came closer. Not for the first time, Elizabeth wondered who had written the article naming her as Mr Darcy’s intended wife, their malicious actions forever changing the course of her life. She should not be here in this beautiful wintry park; she should be at Longbourn, enveloped in the fading gentility of its walls, helping Jane soothe her mother’s nerves; listening to Lydia argue with Kitty; hiding away from Mary’s dreadful piano playing. A homesickness for her old life threatened to consume her.
“I was teasing Miss Bennet about your deep and ill-concealed love for her,” Lady Fulford called to him.
Mr Darcy took no notice of her words and kept his eyes firmly on Elizabeth. “Please accept my profound apologies that I was not able to arrange for you to stay with a more sensible relation. I had hoped your influence might teach my cousin some manners.”
Elizabeth managed a smile at his remark. He held out his arm to her; she took it after a brief hesitation.
“I would offer you my other arm,” he said to his cousin, “But your unique observations are unpredictable at best, erroneous at worst, and I believe it would benefit our relationship if I did not have to listen to them.”
“Is that your way of saying I am unwelcome?”
“You finally have learnt the art of subtle inference,” he said in what Elizabeth realised was a teasing tone. “I congratulate you.”
Lady Fulford cast her eyes heavenwards. “What gratitude, after I have opened my home to your future bride as a favour to you! Fortunately, my footman is delightful company.” She gestured them away with an imperious sweep of her hand. “Off you go. I shall not remain where I am not wanted.”
“Thank you,” Mr Darcy said, a touch of exasperation in his voice. “We shall not go far.”
Elizabeth and Mr Darcy walked side by side, her arm linked with his. Lady Fulford took a seat on a nearby bench, glancing at them from time to time. Elizabeth suspected it was more out of curiosity than to ensure they were behaving appropriately. What would we be doing if we were truly in love? What would it be like to be embraced by him ? The thought embarrassed her, and even in the cold, a prickling heat swept up her neck. He was a handsome man, certainly the most handsome man of her limited acquaintance, and, save for her terrible encounter with Mr Bull, she could not think of a time when she had been so close to a member of the opposite sex. She wondered what he was thinking, and whether he found walking together in this way as difficult as she did.
When they were far enough from Lady Fulford to avoid being overheard, Mr Darcy said, “Are you well? I did not know whether I should write to you, whether it would be agreeable or if the reminder of our situation would only serve to cause distress.”
“I am well enough.” She was surprised by his consideration for her welfare. Even as she said the words aloud, she felt the lie catch in her throat. After weeks and weeks of feigning composure and pleasure at their engagement, it was impossible to withstand the pretence any longer, and she choked back a sob.
“Whatever is the matter?” he asked, leading her to bench and gesturing that they should sit. “Tell me what troubles you, and I shall do whatever I can to put it right.”
“How can you bear the deceit? Lady Fulford is amiable, and I am wretched at misleading her. She is so happy for us and wishes to know how we came to fall in love, but what am I to say? Her questions remind me how little I know of you.”
The wind rustled between them as Mr Darcy contemplated her words for a moment. “I did not consider how conflicted you might be about knowing my cousin, and I am sorry if staying here troubles you.”
“I do not seek an apology, although it is gratefully received. I appreciate everything you have done for me, truly, but I admit these past weeks have been a trial. I have been told very little about what is happening and I am constantly worrying about how I should behave. What did you tell Lady Fulford of our connexion? Has there been any further mention of us in the newspaper?”
Mr Darcy glanced in his cousin’s direction before replying, “I told her little. She believes ours is a love match, at least on my part.”
He paused and looked at her uncertainly. She sensed he was withholding an uncomfortable truth from her. She looked him in the eye. “No secrets, please, not between us.”
Mr Darcy nodded. “Nothing further has been written of our engagement, but there have been some unflattering illustrations of me in various papers—mostly ogling a country milkmaid.” Before Elizabeth could comment, he continued quickly. “They reflect more poorly on me than they do on you. Anyone who is fortunate enough to meet you will be unable to deny your beauty and respectability.”
Unexpectedly flattered, she said, “Thank you. Please promise you will tell me if there are further notices about us.”
“Of course. There shall be no secrets between us. You have my word.” He glanced in the direction of Lady Fulford. “We should return to my cousin.”
He stood, assisting Elizabeth in doing the same. Before they began to walk, however, she was seized by a strange boldness. “Sir, I must ask a favour of you. We agreed that I would seek another gentleman to marry, and I hoped you might introduce me to any men you know whom you believe…” She did not know how to delicately complete her request.
He nodded, and she noticed he was clenching his jaw. “Although I cannot pretend to be an experienced matchmaker, I shall do my best.”
“I shall be satisfied with that. I know you have ample incentive. If I fail to secure another gentleman, you might be burdened with me forever.”
Mr Darcy fell silent; only the crunch of gravel underfoot could be heard as they walked along the park’s path. His expression was one that she could not understand.
After a moment’s pause, he replied, “I shall consider the matter further, and I vow to do my best for you. Strange as it may sound, my family’s approval might help you in that quarter. If it could be widely known that you are a respectable, moral gentlewoman, then it might be easier for you to move about in society when our engagement ends. When you find someone else to marry, I shall privately explain the truth of our situation to my family. I will tell everyone else that I respect you too much for you to marry me out of obligation. It will be made quite clear that you are not to blame.”
The chivalry of this gesture was not lost on Elizabeth. She did not know what to say, so instead she caught his eye and smiled gratefully; he responded with a quiet smile of his own.
“I shall do what I can to earn your family’s approval.”
Their steps slowed further, a final question hovering in the air between them. They had drawn closer to his cousin, and she knew that she had but a little time to ask it.
Her cheeks burning with mortification, she said, “Forgive me, but how should I act towards you when we are in company? I am not sure I would know how to convince people that I-I love you, but should I even attempt it? Might it not seem strange if one week I hold you in esteem, and the next I do not wish to marry you?”
Mr Darcy ran a hand over his jaw as he contemplated her question. “I believe we must convince society that our engagement is based on a real and mutual respect to dispel any salacious rumours caused by that distasteful article. No one will expect to see an effusion of affection, especially from me. I am widely seen as reserved, and since you are unknown, it will be easy for people to believe you are as well. If we show that we respect and like each other, that will be enough to make it seem as though our engagement is understandable.”
Elizabeth nodded. “I shall do my best, for your sake as well as my own.”
“There will be some that remain unconvinced. It is more amusing to believe there is something salacious about our connexion.” Mr Darcy gestured towards where Lady Fulford awaited them near the entry to the house. “I am no actor, but it was not difficult to persuade my cousin that I…esteem you.”
Elizabeth laughed ruefully. “You are correct. And it will be easier here than in Meryton where everyone knows of your disdain for me.”
“My disdain? For you?”
She regretted her hasty words, which she had said without thought. Their first meeting seemed a lifetime ago, yet she was forced to explain, reminding him of the occasion. “At the assembly in October, everyone heard you say that I was not worth knowing. You would not be introduced.”
Mr Darcy looked so horrified that she almost laughed again. “Think nothing of it,” she said. “I forgave you the moment you came to my rescue on the night of the ball.”
“Yet I must apologise?—”
“Let us talk no more of the past,” she interjected. “We should start again as friends, or comrades-in-arms, if you prefer.”
Elizabeth gave him an earnest smile, and was relieved to see him return it hesitantly. Slowly they walked towards Lady Fulford, and she endeavoured to lighten the mood by discussing safer topics. How comforting it had been to talk to someone, to unburden one’s worries to an understanding ear. Suddenly, Elizabeth knew that she did not want this confidence to end. She looked up at Mr Darcy, hoping he would not think her too bold.
“For all its difficulties, I have enjoyed our conversation. I hope that we might talk again soon. I am sure that Lady Fulford would permit it.”
Mr Darcy looked down into her face, his expression unreadable. “It would please me also. Cecilia has long been one of my closest relations,” he replied in a low voice. “For all her saucy ways, she can be very discreet.” He gave her a sardonic smile, “Although I cannot answer for her sense of humour.”
Without thinking, Elizabeth laughed and squeezed his arm, feeling lighter than she had for weeks.