Chapter 5
T ara had been working diligently, taking precise notes about the boy’s symptoms, bathing him, checking his warmth at regular intervals. She also mixed various medicines in the hope that one of them would succeed.
Time passed swiftly as she worked, the hours blurring together without her realizing how long she was with him. A meal was brought to her. This time it was a different guard, and he was not as surly as the previous one. But all that day Gordon did not come to visit her or Keith again. She assumed that he was allowing her to work uninterrupted, but she also suspected that he hadn’t liked knowing that Tara had seen right through him.
Like so many other people, their appearance was important to them. From what she knew about the Abernathy Clan, they were closed off and stony, so for him to show emotion would go directly against his people’s reputation, and might even hurt their mystique. Tara didn’t understand why he would be so concerned with this, or how he could believe that she would care enough to tell other people. She had made it plain that her only concern was Keith’s condition.
But sometimes people assumed that what was important to them was important to everyone else.
In quiet moments, her mind wandered, thinking about the mysteries of this clan and all the things that Gordon was not telling her. She kept returning to his reaction when she asked about Keith’s mother. Why wasn’t it possible to speak to her? Was she so distraught that she could not bring herself to speak about Keith? It wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility, she supposed.
Eventually, she fell asleep beside Keith. There was a big chair placed beside the bed that Gordon often used. While it was hard and wooden, cushions had been placed upon it to make it more comfortable. There was also a sheepskin blanket in the room, meant for Keith. However, with his fever, the last thing he needed was to be warm, so Tara took it for herself and pulled it up to her neck.
She breathed deeply, closing her eyes for just a moment, or at last that’s what she told herself. Her eyes grew heavy, and her tired mind needed to rest. She soon fell asleep, with wild thoughts tumbling through her mind.
In her dreams she was chased by a wolf that snapped its jaws and howled menacingly, but when it caught up to her and had her pinned against a tree, it was not scary at all. It showed her a paw. A thorn stuck out of it, and blood eked out. It whimpered.
All this time it had been scared and so it turned to fear and anger because these were the two emotions that came so instinctively, so immediately. As she tended to the wolf and plucked the thorn from its paw, she stroked its head, and it became docile, bowing to Tara.
Tara heard a distant noise, like a thump. She stirred, groaning a little. She blinked and oriented herself to her surroundings. Dawn had not broken over the bleak world yet. The fine morning mist hung over the land like a pall, shrouding the horizon, making it feel as though the world was small and that the rest of the Highlands were unreachable.
There was an ache in her neck and saliva had pooled in the corner of her mouth. Her body was at an awkward angle. Her left leg had gone numb, and when she moved it, it felt as though it was being stabbed with a thousand tiny pins.
Keith was still sleeping soundly in the bed beside her, but it was not his presence that she registered first. That was because Gordon was standing over her, staring at her. For a moment, she thought she saw something akin to tenderness in his eyes, but it must have been an illusion caused by her fatigue. Surely, he was incapable of such a thing.
When she awoke, Gordon recoiled, moving his head in such a way that caused his long, dark locks to swing over his face, protecting his features. There was a moment when she thought there was something wolfish about him, but she brushed it aside. She cleared her throat and felt awkward, fearing that Gordon would believe she was intruding in Keith’s room.
He turned to face his son, moving to the other side of the bed. He knelt down and placed his hand near Keith’s, although he did not take it. The only movements that Keith made were slight lolling of the head, so Tara had mixed her concoctions and placed the bowls around him. Gordon looked at them with intrigue in his eyes, and also hope. He stared at her and a smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.
“Hae ye discovered what’s wrong with him? Is he getting better?” Gordon asked, his voice rising with inspiration. If only it were that simple, Tara thought.
“I’m afraid nae. Because of the lack of information it is hard for me tae determine what the cause of his sickness is,” she said this in a pointed manner, hoping to make Gordon see that he was doing his son no favors by his attitude. Gordon’s nostrils flared. “Sae I hae made some remedies and experimented with them tae see how he responds.”
All the warmth disappeared from Gordon’s eyes. They became ice again, and he was filled with anger. “Ye experimented ?” he asked in a rasping breath.
Tara blinked.
“It’s really the only thing I could dae,” she began, but was suddenly silenced as Gordon rose to his feet with a thunderous cry.
“Ye are pouring things in his mouth. They could dae anything tae him! How can ye experiment with him? My son is nae experiment! What if something gaes wrong?” The questions poured out of his mouth.
As he spoke, he gathered the bowls and flung them towards the hearth. The contents spilled out and sizzled as they met the fire. Gordon moved frantically, his temper getting the better of him as he pulled the bowls off the bed and cast them aside, sending them rolling and flying across the floor, as though their proximity was going to cause harm to Keith. Tara clutched the blanket tightly, remaining in the chair because she did not want to risk being flung herself either.
Gordon’s eyes were wide, and his breaths were harried. He scanned the bed, looking for more threats. The bowls were beside him, making it seem as though some wild cat had crept into the kitchen and turned everything asunder. Keith was still unmoving.
“I dinnae bring ye here tae test things on him.”
He moved closer to Keith, just to make sure that the boy was still breathing. Although she possessed empathy for Gordon considering what was happening to his son, she took his reaction as a personal insult and so her voice was thin when she replied.
“I would never threaten the well-being of my patient. I would never take any risks that might cause undue harm, unless I hae nae choice, and even then, I would come tae ye and tell ye. I would nae dae anything behind ye back. Keith might be yer son, but he is my patient, and that means he is important tae me. If ye want me tae treat him, then ye hae tae trust that I am gaeing tae dae what’s best for him.
I’m sure ye know many things about the world, Laird, but it’s clear that ye dinnae know much about healing. I am the expert. I know it was dangerous and what’s nae. When I say experiment, I mean that I am trying a few things tae see how he responds. There is naething dangerous about them. These are simple medicines, and the worst thing that will happen is that they dinnae work.
I promised ye that I would nae put Keith’s life in jeopardy, and I am a woman of my word. Ye brought me here, and I think it is time that ye trust me, otherwise I cannae get anything done,” she said, the words rushing out of her quickly because she feared that if she stopped to take a breath then her courage would falter, and she would wilt in the face of his anger.
“I dinnae like this. I dinnae like this at all.” Gordon jabbed a finger in her direction and began to pace around the room. “All I want is for ye tae find out what’s wrong with him. I dinnae understand why ye cannae dae sae by looking at him.”
“Because things are nae always that simple. Believe me, I wish they were. I wish yer lad hae nae become sick at all. But when ye fail tae tell me what I need tae know, I’m forced tae take these measures.”
Gordon did not like that at all. He brought up a hand and swept back his hair, glaring at her. “If he dies, I will ensure that yer life is miserable. All of these things… How can ye be sure they are all safe?”
He gestured with his hands to the bowls around him, and the spilled contents that stained the floor. It was difficult to not be swept along by the tide of his anger. Tara could feel herself getting more and more agitated.
“If he dies, then it’s because of his father’s stubbornness,” she shot back.
Gordon’s voice fell to a low growl. “Dinnae ye say that. This is nae my fault. I would dae anything tae save him. I hae tried healer after healer. I hae prayed. I hae stayed by his bed every day. I hae held his hand. I hae promised him that I will give him anything he wants should he come back tae me. But none of it is enough. I am nae responsible for what’s happened. Just dae yer job and save him or?—”
“I am trying!” Tara shouted. “But ye are making it impossible.”
She threw the blanket off and stood up. They were both flanking the bed. Keith was in the middle, completely unaware of what was happening. Their words were harsh and loud, booming in the room, but his illness meant that he was undisturbed. Tara was tired, though, tired of being treated like a prisoner, tired of being treated as though she didn’t know how to do her job.
“Every time ye come tae lecture me like this, ye take up time that I could spend trying tae heal him. Ye brought me here and tasked me tae save him, and that’s what I hae been trying tae dae. I cannae work if ye are gaeing tae tie my hands and dispute my methods. By the looks of it, I am ye last hope. Sae what are ye gaeing tae dae with me? Are ye gaeing tae banish me as well? Are ye gaeing tae fling me off the roof of the Keep? I dinnae think ye are gaeing tae dae anything of the sort because ye need me, and what’s more, he needs me,” she pointed emphatically towards Keith.
Gordon flinched, and then he glowered. His head dropped and shifted his feet. He murmured something unintelligible under his breath and then kicked out at one of the bowls. It crashed against the wall and fractured into three pieces.
“Yer anger is nae helping. If Keith can sense anything, dae ye think he is gaeing tae want tae open his eyes when ye are like this? Ye need tae calm down. I know emotions are high?—”
“Ye know naething about my emotions,” Gordon barked.
Tara gave him a knowing look. She understood more than he thought, but he was so angry he couldn’t even see it.
“Laird Abernathy, I am ye last hope sae ye hae better start treating me with respect. Yer son depends on me. I am the only one who can heal him. I dinnae think ye want tae begin the search for a new healer again, dae ye?” she asked, and she already knew the answer. It was confirmed by Gordon’s silence. “I promise ye that I am nae gaeing tae hurt him, and that everything I dae here is with the purpose of seeing him make a full recovery. But I cannae hae ye coming in here tae accuse me of being irresponsible, or of interfering with my work. If ye cannae control yer anger, then I am gaeing tae hae tae ask ye tae leave.”
“Ye would give me orders in my own Keep?” he asked with an incredulous look in his eyes.
“I would give ye orders tae protect my patient. Ye are nae thinking clearly. I dread tae think how long it hae been since ye hae slept properly. Ye are nae daeing him any good by being here and lashing out at me. If ye need tae be angry, then gae and spar with one of yer guards, and leave me tae dae what ye brought me here tae dae.”
Gordon’s body bristled with tension, and for one terrible moment she was completely unprepared for what he might do next. The man had a wild, unpredictable streak that was only made more dangerous by his fraught state. The tiredness and the turmoil blended together in a potent cocktail of frenzy that drove him to the edge of sanity.
Gordon took a deep breath, looked at his son, and then muttered a curse as he stormed out of the room, leaving the door wide open. Tara moved towards the door and watched him disappear. He slammed his fist against the wall as he did so.
Tara sighed as she closed the door, and then moved to the floor, picking up the bowls and stacking them on the table. When she picked up the one that had fractured into three pieces, she tried to fit it back together. However, there was something about the way it had broken that made it impossible. The only way it could be fixed was if another piece was added.
She placed these three fragments on the desk, careful not to cut her hand on the sharp edges. She breathed again, composing herself and swallowing her anger. Gordon had a way of getting under her skin and lighting a fire deep within her. It blazed with a passion that she had never known before. This was something she attributed to her duty of care to Keith, although it was something much different than that, and this was something she would become aware of later.
For now, Tara stared out of the window and thought of home. The thick mist was impenetrable, and she feared that even if a search party had been sent to look for her, they would never be able to find her. It was as though she had been spirited away to a strange part of the world, and her only way back to freedom was to save Keith.
But there were many concerns she had about that. What if Keith never recovered? She had heard stories about people whose sleep was endless, a kind of living death where souls were caught between two worlds. Would Gordon insist that she stay for the rest of Keith’s life? And even if he did recover, Gordon might want her to remain in case Keith fell ill again. Her life had taken a vicious swerve, and it was never going to be what she envisioned.
And all because she had listened to Shea. Tara hung her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. She should never have been so foolish. Had there even been a cousin? If only she had told someone… Well, there was no sense in getting upset about it now. She couldn’t change the past. She could only try and make the future better.
After gathering herself, she returned to her patient. At least, while she was held captive, she could do something useful. She administered some more medicine and again wiped away the sweat. She checked his temperature again and was surprised, and delighted, to find that his fever had broken.
It was a glimmer of hope in what had seemed like an endless despair. While this development was startling, she did not feel it was enough to bring Gordon back to the room just yet. A fever breaking was a good sign, but there was a long way to go. However, it did mean that one of the medicines she administered worked.
And then, about half an hour later, something miraculous happened. Keith’s eyes slowly opened, as though they were being peeled back.
Tara gasped, almost not believing it. For a while there, she thought things were hopeless and that Keith would never come back to them. But here he was, alive, better, and conscious. His eyes darted around in panic, his young features drawn and tired.
“Keith. Keith, ye are well. There’s nae need tae panic or be scared. I am here,” she said, and grabbed hold of his hand, squeezing it tight.