A Laird and a Healer (Rebel Highland Brides #2)

Chapter 7

G ordon was sitting in the dining hall, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Ever since Keith had fallen ill, he had been unable to sleep properly, only in fits and starts, more often than not waking up dripping with cold sweat and lingering nightmares stabbing his mind. Now he sipped rich wine, the thick liquid slipping down his throat and settling in his stomach.

He smacked his lips together, enjoying the taste as it swam across his tongue. The dining table stretched out before him, long and narrow, able to host dozens of people. The hall had a high ceiling and wide walls, but since he was alone, it had the sense of emptiness about it. The shadows were his only companion. His heart shuddered. He had come so close to losing everything, to being left alone.

But Tara had saved him.

As though he had summoned her, the doors opened and Tara walked in. She was like a burst of sunlight after a bleak winter. She had changed, and was now dressed in the colors of the clan. Pale yellow clung to her body, while dark black lines framed her gentle curves.

Breath was stolen from his lungs, and he was quite certain that he had never seen anyone so beautiful. Keith mentioned that she looked a little like his mother. Gordon almost choked on his breath. He didn’t want to admit it himself, but he had noticed the same thing.

Her beauty had captured him, but it left him with a bitter feeling of guilt lacing his heart. What right did he have to be attracted to another woman? How could he allow himself to think about her in this way? His family had been cursed. Was it because he was a wretched man? Was it because he could fall to temptation?

As much as he was relieved that Keith had recovered, his heart was still troubled. There was nothing worse for him than feeling powerless. He had raged and thrashed, and his anger had been like a storm, but it hadn’t done any good to drive away Keith’s illness.

As soon as Tara had left the room earlier, he had cradled his son, and for the first time he had wept in front of Keith, for the emotions had been too powerful to ignore. Keith had held him back, and Gordon felt anchored to the world again. While Keith had been unconscious, Gordon had been flailing, untethered, as though he was slipping away from everything that he held dear.

And it wasn’t the first time. Seeing Keith in that bed made it seem as though history was repeating itself. His heart had already been torn open once, and there were only so many times he could endure this. It was painful to feel affection, and he swore that he would never feel this way again.

His hand twitched and if his wine glass had been full it would have sloshed over the side. Tara carried herself well, showing no sign of meekness. She met his gaze and he was amazed at the strength of her spirit. She was an impressive woman. It was almost as though she possessed the qualities that his clan had always valued, all except the need to isolate oneself.

Being an Abernathy meant becoming as hard as stone and as cold as winter, freezing emotions until they could not affect you any longer. It was how they remained strong and proud, but Gordon was struggling to do so. The bond with his son ran hot, and he could not excise it from his heart, but because of this, he was vulnerable and he hated it.

Tara was the complete opposite, seeking out others to help, giving her time and energy in order to heal others. She would be a worthy…

No , he stopped himself before the thought could enter his mind. It wouldn’t do to think in those terms. He could not allow himself to feel those things again. He would not. There had already been too much anguish in his life, and he was not about to invite more. He would be happy in the company of shadows. At least they would not bring him despair.

Slowly, Tara walked towards him, her footsteps clipping against the ground, until she reached the chair beside him. She placed her hands around the high wooden back and stared at him. He stared back, and it was as though they were frozen.

“I believe it’s good manners for a man tae pull out a chair for a lady,” she said, challenging him.

Gordon ran his tongue along his lips and swallowed a ball of tension. He should apologize to her. She had succeeded where others failed. She had fought for his son and brought him back to consciousness while dealing with a troubled father. He rose and pulled the chair out. The legs scraped against the stone floor. Tara settled in the chair and her gaze settled upon him.

“Where did ye find that dress?” he asked.

“I took the liberty of asking a guard if there was anything in yer colors I might wear. I thought it would be appropriate tae pay respect, considering the good news ye hae received taeday, and that I hae been invited tae an official dinner. Although I did expect there would be more people in attendance.” She cast a slow gaze around the empty chairs.

“I thought it best that we talk alone,” he said.

She tilted her head to the side. He studied the way her strands of hair caressed her cheeks. Her lips were full and expressive, her skin milky and flawless. She shouldn’t have been in a hard, forsaken place like this. She should have been skipping through a meadow and tumbling through a mossy field, laughing with glee and bathed in sunlight.

“I wanted tae say… Well, I think I owe ye… ah…”

To his surprise, she reached out and placed her hand upon his. Her skin was tender, but warm. He looked down and a wave of pleasurable tingles ran across his body, as though his entire being were captured by the essence of excitement in one wonderful moment.

He hadn’t wanted to keep things from her. When she asked her questions, it was as though she were dredging up all the pain, and he simply couldn’t face it. So he lashed out at her and turned away. He demanded the impossible from her and then, when all else failed, he became angry. He was like a petulant child, and he knew that the behavior was not befitting of a Laird, yet he was a slave to his emotions.

All he needed was to sleep again, to regain some measure of control, and then he could be the man he wanted to be; the proud Laird Abernathy who was in control, who was composed, and who was not prone to emotional outbursts.

“I know what ye are trying tae say, and ye’re welcome,” she said, and he lost himself in the depths of her eyes.

It was not in his character to apologize, and she had shown great grace in doing him the kindness of implying it rather than stating it outright.

Not knowing how to react, he stared at her hand. Although he could feel it and see it, it still seemed impossible that she was touching him like this. After everything that he had put her through, she should have hated him. Her hand should have been clenched in anger, not open with kindness.

“What are ye daeing?” he asked softly, the words slipping out of his mouth in a whisper.

“The relatives of those suffering can suffer as well. They need comfort tae.”

She took her hand away, and he felt her absence acutely. He drew his hand back and stroked it with the fingers of his other hand, as if to pretend that she was still touching him. He fought within himself, wishing that he didn’t have to find these things so difficult.

“I dinnae need anything of the sort,” he claimed in a jagged voice, but he could tell from Tara’s eyes that she did not believe him. Thankfully, she did not challenge him on this.

“I must say that I was nae expecting the colors of ye clan tae be sae bright,” she changed the subject, looking down at her dress.

Gordon looked as well, feeling something stirring within him as his gaze drifted down her slender neck, her full chest, her narrow hips. She was everything a woman should be, at least in his opinion.

“It’s because of a wildflower that grows here. There’s a field out yonder where it stretches for as far as the eyes can see. When the mist lifts, it looks beautiful. Nae everything about this land is hard and cold.”

“I’m sure it is nae,” she replied with a searching glance.

He wondered if there was a deeper meaning to her words, but decided to not think about them too much. His thoughts were already tangled together. The doors opened and servants entered, carrying with them wide plates filled with thick cuts of meat and roasted vegetables, all swimming in thick gravy. The aroma drifted in the air, and his stomach growled. The servants poured Tara some wine.

“Reward for all my efforts?”

“Aye,” he said, shoving a chunk of meat into his mouth. They sat in silence for a while, eating together, when Tara spoke again.

“I must confess something tae ye. When Keith regained consciousness, I spoke tae him before I called for ye. He mentioned something about his mother… I sense that there’s something ye are nae telling me about her, and whatever it is, it might help Keith or whoever could fall prone tae this disease.”

Gordon stared at his food. “She hae naething tae dae with this,” he replied.

Tara sighed and stared at him. “After all that has happened, ye are still gaeing tae be like this? I dinnae know why ye are sae loyal tae ye secrets. I might hae been able tae find the right remedy for Keith sooner if ye hae shared with me what ye knew.”

“Ye cured him, dinnae ye? I told ye that ye hae all ye needed,” he stated, his face darkening. Why was she being like this? Why did she want to know so much about his past?

“As I said, it might help prevent this from happening again. And if ye wife is ill?—”

Gordon slammed the butt of his cutlery on the table, making everything shake. “The sickness is over. Keith is well again. We nae longer need tae speak of it.”

Tara frowned, but kept her lips pressed together. “Why did ye bring me here if nae tae speak about Keith? I am only trying tae protect yer clan.”

“I can protect my clan,” he declared roughly, then he turned away for a moment.

This wasn’t how he wanted the conversation to go. He didn’t understand why he was so prone to losing his temper. Tara had shown him nothing but kindness, and he wanted to repay her in the same way, but everything came out in a way that he did not want. He took a deep breath and tried to begin again.

“I brought ye here because I wanted tae thank ye for saving my son’s life. I know that I hae nae made things easy for ye, and that ye were nae brought here of yer own accord. But my son was in need, and I was desperate. I am grateful that ye took the time tae treat him.”

His words were pointed. Tara’s eyes swam with determination. From what little he knew of her, he sensed that she was not the type to give up on what she thought was important. It was another quality that would serve her well in life, but it was one that made things difficult for him.

All these incessant questions were only making things more complicated. Why could he not simply sweep his hand through the air and banish them from her mind? Recently, he had begun to realize how powerless he truly was. He might have been the Laird and held dominion over this part of the world, but he could not prevent his son from getting sick, nor could he control this wild tempest of a woman.

However, this time Tara seemed to accept that she wasn’t going to be told everything she wanted to hear. She inclined her head and took a sip of her wine. A scarlet stain was left on her lips, making them redder than usual. The flush of color stirred something in Gordon, something that he tried to push aside.

She was a most uncommon woman and these were most uncommon feelings, but he had to be strong and resolute. Abernathy men never allowed their emotions to control them. He needed to be like the rocks, enduring all kinds of stormy weather, no matter what happened.

“I would hae helped him either way,” Tara said in a small voice.

He looked into her eyes. They shared a tender moment. He knew that she was being earnest, and in her own way she was telling him that he hadn’t needed to rush up to her in the wild and pull her upon his steed. He could have asked her nicely rather than making a prisoner of her. But Gordon wasn’t used to asking anyone for anything.

“I could nae take the risk of ye refusing.”

“If ye know anything about healers, then ye should know that we would nae resist helping someone in trouble. We dinnae care about clans and banners and territory. We care about people.”

She was so lovely, so innocent. The world was so simple in her eyes. He almost wished it could be so simple for him. He brought the wine to his lips and took a long blink, pushing away the emotion that rolled behind his eyes.

“And speaking of people,” Tara continued, “my sisters will be deathly worried about me. Perhaps now that Keith is awake again, I can return home.”

Her expression was calm, but her voice belied her nerves. It shook like a leaf, and revealed how truly fearful she was. He didn’t want her to feel that way about him, but how could he blame her after the way he treated her? He gazed into the deep abyss of his wine and sloshed it around, before finishing off the remaining liquid.

“Stay one more day. I would hate for ye tae return tae yer clan with word that Laird Abernathy treated ye like a prisoner. As thanks, I would like tae treat ye properly, and show ye that my clan is nae as savage as some people might think. One day,” he repeated.

He wasn’t sure why, he just knew that he wasn’t ready to bid her farewell yet. One more day might be enough to resolve these strange feelings that he couldn’t quite grasp. One day might be enough to convince her that he was not a monster.

On this point, she did not fight him. She bowed her head gracefully, accepting his terms. “I shall stay for one more day then. I can examine Keith again and make sure the sickness dinnae linger. But ye should watch for other symptoms as well. I will leave the recipe for the remedy. Ye should prepare some in case anyone else falls ill. It would be simpler than riding out intae the wilderness, hoping that ye can catch yerself a healer.” Her lips curled into a teasing smile.

Gordon couldn’t help but laugh. It was a hearty, rich laugh that rose up from his belly and filled the hall. It was the kind of laugh he hadn’t expressed for a long time, especially not in recent times when Keith had been ill. There were days when he feared he would never laugh like this again.

“Tell me of yer sisters. It is the first time ye speak of them,” he encouraged her.

He listened intently as Tara told him about Caroline and Nessa; how Caroline had practically raised them both after their mother died at a young age, and how Nessa was an untamed spirit that could match any warrior with a bow.

“We make a good team, the three of us. I dinnae have a lot tae contribute tae our little group, rather than my healing skills, but I can always count on them. Now that Caroline has her own family, and Nessa has found the place she belongs, I could focus on my purpose.”

Gordon noticed how much pride Tara took in her sisters, and also how she admired them so much that she seemed to think they eclipsed her. He wanted to tell her that he was sure she outshone them both, and that her accomplishments were notable, but he couldn’t find the right words. Instead, he nodded along and enjoyed the melody of her voice. It lulled him into a good mood, and he began to think that he could listen to her forever.

But nothing lasts forever, and certainly not this dinner. Their plates were cleared, and the wine glasses were empty. Tara’s cheeks had a rosy glow, and her eyes sparkled. Gordon searched for an excuse to lengthen the night, but he couldn’t find one. Tiredness was pulling at his exhausted eyes. All he really wanted was to sink into bed and sleep for a hundred years now that he no longer had to worry about losing Keith. Tara bid him goodnight, but before she left, he called out to her.

“Dinnae gae back tae yer room. I hae made other arrangements for ye. Find a maid outside. They will take ye tae yer new room.”

“New room? It’s nae the dungeon, is it?” Tara asked, her face paling.

Gordon chuckled and shook his head.

“Ye will see when ye get there.” He left her with a warm smile and wished that she thought he was a better man.