46. Every Time, Over Everyone
Leonie
Ivan and Vera met at an art museum in Paris thirty-four years ago. Darley wasn’t quite as renowned for artistic talent or anything other than sunshine and money, but the couple always had their wedding anniversary at the Darley Art Museum in a nod to the beginning of their relationship.
It was an old Georgian building made of sandstone and thick columns around the square at the top of the towering steps. The building itself was a work of art.
Every year, the Belovs and their closest friends would come an hour early to toast the year and catch up before the rest of the guests arrived.
Each step we climbed felt closer to battle.
Even with Dom’s hand gripping mine and his question game.
My phone dinged in my bag and I scrambled to get it, my clutch falling to the floor. Dom released me to bend and pick it up as I read the text.
ISSY: Going to be late. Not tooooo late, but late.
I showed it to Dom as he handed me the bag.
“Well, we’re telling Mum and Dad first anyway,” he said and gave me his arm to take again. I threaded mine through and we resumed walking up to the large oak doors. A red carpet had been laid out for the occasion, as always.
At the doors, I stopped. Dom tried to snake his hand out of mine, but I gripped him tight. “It’s not that.”
“It’s going to be okay,” he said and kissed my hair. “Everyone in that room loves you, Leo. Being with a dickhead like me won’t change that.”
I bit my lip, thanking god for smudge-proof lipstick and waterproof mascara. “I’m scared.”
He bent to my eye level, which wasn’t as far as normal with my heels. “You can be scared, but know I’m not letting anything happen to you. No one will say anything. No one will hurt you unless they want to die.”
His voice was so grave I knew he was serious. When we were kids, I knew he would kill to protect me. When he said those weeks ago that he would kill Firdman for me, or even Jared, I knew he was capable.
He would kill for me. He already had.
I would kill for him.
Before, I wouldn’t have thought I still had it in me.
“You are breathtaking,” he said, taking my hip to turn me and kiss my forehead.
His black suit always had me drooling, but when he wore a black shirt as well… I was done for.
I was grateful we were telling people tonight. If someone approached him, I would have no choice but to become territorial.
He would struggle to get me off his arm.
“Well, finally,” came a deep voice.
Dom’s arm snaked around me to pull me to his side, for us to spin to Julia and Derek.
They were both glowing.
Julia tried to hide her smile but was wholly unsuccessful, and Derek slapped Dom’s shoulder. “Glad you two are getting that frustration out in another way.”
“Derek!” Julia squeaked and slapped his arm.
“What?” her husband cried, stroking where she had struck.
When she turned to us, she was rolling her eyes. “What he’s trying to say,” she groaned, “is that it’s nice to see you’ve put your differences aside. Your father’s going to be furious.”
“Whah?”
The sound was out of my mouth and in the air before I could try and articulate myself better.
“He bet that you two would be together by Dom’s twenty-eighth. You’re just seven months late.”
My chest immediately loosened and Dom let out a shaky laugh, squeezing my side.
“Tell her that,” Dom laughed, jerking his chin in my direction. “She was the one stopping us.”
“Me?” I cried, turning to him, but Dom smiled down at me, his two dimples showing, that adoration in his eyes.
But I was being ushered into the building, a glass of champagne suddenly in my hand.
Dom clearly had no intention of telling his mum and dad anymore. He was going to show them.
Hopefully, Issy was going to be really late.
He wouldn’t stop touching me as we approached Ivan and Vera at a small table, talking to Anton.
Dom’s uncle stood, ready to hug me, but our attention was on the hosts.
Ivan’s eyes zeroed in on Dom’s hand at my waist, his face void of emotion.
Vera sprang into action, almost throwing herself over the table, speaking quickly in Russian.
“What is she saying?” I murmured to Dom, hardly moving my lips. I knew Russian, but not at the speed she was going.
“A blessing!” she cried, pulling me away from her son to throw her arms around me. “Oh, thank the heavens. When did this happen?”
“A few weeks ago,” I wheezed in her grip.
“I knew it! I knew it! The other week, I told Ivan something was happening between the two of you.”
By the time she released me, Ivan was talking to Dom, their voices low and secretive. She ushered me over to a corner of the art gallery that she had transformed into artworks of the people important to the two of them. All but my mother. People often acted as if she didn’t exist until it suited them. In a line were Ivan, my father and Anton, hanging from the ceiling. My father was the only one grinning.
Vera’s tone and expression changed as she moved us away from the others. Her face turned stony. This was what I had been expecting. “Do you love him?”
“I…” My eyes stung, they were so wide.
“Okay, okay,” she said, waving a passive hand. “Not so heavy. Are you sure about him?”
“Certain.”
“I thought I was certain once, Leonie.” She looked up at the faces in front of us. “Then I met Ivan. Three hearts got broken, including mine. Just a little.”
Vera was just as severe as her husband but far more understated. She often spoke in riddles.
She took a deep breath, a sip and then, “I met Anton first.”
Dom’s uncle. Ivan’s brother.
Even the Belovs had family drama.
“We often leave out that part of how we met,” she said, looking at the picture of her brother-in-law. “He wanted to show me the Mona Lisa, and Ivan joined us. Though I’m sure Anton only wanted me for my inheritance. Ivan had his own.”
I couldn’t imagine Ivan without Vera or Vera without Ivan.
She faced me again. “I just want you to be sure. Certain, as you said.”
My gaze flickered amongst the portraits, landing on Dom’s dazzling smile. “Certain, as I said.”
Her smile was soft as she laced her arm in mine. “Your dad and I always said the lines would join properly eventually. He’d be so happy, Leo.”
I only nodded once, my attention drawn back to his portrait.
But she hardly noticed, continuing with, “Your dad… he was such a great man. The best I’ve known. He really would be overjoyed.”
Dom and his dad were still talking quietly, and my heart started to beat faster, worrying about what they were saying.
“Are they…? Is Ivan…?”
“Ecstatic,” Vera confirmed. “You’ll be a real Belov!”
Derek and Julia joined us and Derek tapped me on the shoulder. “I don’t want to ruin a good moment, but I do have some news.”
I lowered my head and followed him to the bar, where we ordered our drinks and a whiskey sour for Dom.
“I’ll cut to the chase. Your security system was hacked into and disarmed the night Luís was killed. It was cut off for hours and hours. About forty minutes before you said you heard noises.”
But I already knew our system had failed that night. I’d been told it was hacked.
“But they didn’t check the security before that night,” he said. “They were still new those kinds of systems. But Dom’s kept everything in that house so pristine—”
“Dom has? Not Ivan?”
Derek frowned at me. “Dom’s been the one looking after it all.”
My heart swelled.
“Anyway, the security was turned off six days prior, around eleven at night. Turned back on two hours later, the exact same way.”
But Dom had been looking at the clips in the lead up. He would have got to six days before…
“The date?”
“29th of June.”
And, even then, I knew it. I remembered it. A day I had held onto for weeks that year. Dom’s last exam.
When he had come over at midnight, Dad hadn’t caught him like he had the last night we went to the cove.
Because he had turned off the security system.
Then did so the week later, when he said he was supposedly coming over to tell me he loved me.
He had helped my dad set the system up because he was apparently worried about me after the kidnap attempt.
Apparently. Supposedly.
But Dom loved me.
He cared for me.
“Right,” I said slowly and didn’t thank the barkeep when they gave me a stronger drink. I knew they had pictures of us Belovs at the back with our favourite drinks, under strict instructions for us to never be without one.
I wanted to hurl the unlimited beverages at Dom’s head, one after the other.
“What is it?” Derek asked eagerly. “What have you remembered?”
“I, er, I need a minute,” I breathed, sliding off the stool only to walk straight into Dom’s wide chest.
“You okay, babe?” he asked, straightening me as the room spun.
“I need… Come with me.”
So I grabbed his hand just as other people started to arrive at the entryway and rushed him into one of the painting exhibits.
I stood before him, trying to calm my breathing.
His eyes were wide as he bent to look directly into mine. His voice shook as he asked, “Leo, what—what is it? You’re worrying me.”
There was a way I could pretend this had never happened. I could go to the toilet, splash water on my face and plaster on a fake smile for the rest of my life. But I lifted my head up high and said, “That night, you were the one who turned off the security cameras, weren’t you?”
His face said it all. He blinked once, his mouth parted. Words didn’t come from his lips, though it wasn’t for lack of trying. His chest rose with an inhale that should have pushed out a denial; his lips came together to help, but there was a disconnect.
Because everything that could come out of his mouth would be a lie.
“Fucking hell,” I rasped, palm to my head as I turned from him. “Jesus, Dom.”
He gripped my arms, trying to pull me to look at him, but I tore back. We were away from the masses, but we could hear the party getting lively.
“Don’t!” I shouted. “Don’t touch me, please.”
That night he had held me as my dad lay there dying, as my mum tried to splatter her brains over my dad’s last moments.
That night I lost my father, my mother and then the Dom I knew disappeared, too.
Replaced by a cruel shell that had avoided me and ignored me for years. When, really, I should have been the cruel one. I should have hated him, not the other way around.
“It was an accident,” he urged. “I swear to you, I didn’t know. I hated myself for it, Leo. I never hated you, but I…”
He let go to come and stand before me. I only looked down at his shoes. The ones I had worn in his wardrobe only three weeks ago.
“You what?” I mumbled. “Wanted to hurt me more? I fucking needed you.” My voice broke with that last declaration.
“If I… if I got close to you, I would tell you and I would break your heart. I couldn’t live with what I’d done to you. It hurt to see you and—and…If you could hate me for being a dick, that was okay. But I couldn’t have you hate me because I hurt you.” His face twisted in pain, tears shining in his eyes. “Leonie, I swear, I had nothing to do with it. It was a mistake. I’m so, so sorry. It was—”
“Issy and I were taken four months before! That security was up for a reason! Did you want to endanger my life to come and see me? Did you want to confess your love to my dead body? Oh no, you just wanted to say it over my dead father’s!”
“I will never forgive myself, Leo,” he cried, tears dripping down his cheek. “I will never. I will spend my whole life regretting that night. It is all my fault. Everything. Your mum, your addiction, your—”
“Shut up!” I screamed, walking further through the art gallery. We were too close to other people for this. “You want me to relive it all? No? Then shut up!”
“I’m sorry,” he cried, a step behind me. “I will spend the rest of my days begging you to believe me.”
I whipped around. “Swear it. Swear on my life.”
“I swear. I swear I had no involvement, Leo. I will kill whoever was involved. That’s a promise. Firdman gets out and I will kill him.”
Even before he said it, I knew it was true. He was capable of many things, but I didn’t actually think he would do this to me or my dad.
“It wasn’t your fault,” I whispered more to myself than anything. “You were a kid.”
His eyes widened and he put his hands on my shoulders. “No, you have to blame me. I deserve it. I need you to hate me so we can move past this. I need—”
“It’s not about what you need!” I cried, jolting back. My breaths were erratic. I pursed my lips to concentrate on them, looking down at my feet. “You didn’t order my dad’s execution. It’s a coincidence. It’s…”
What was it? Abominable. I should hate him. I should want to run away.
I could have screamed, bawled my eyes out. But the only one I wanted comfort from would have been him.
His arms snaked around me and his head fell to my shoulder. I didn’t hold him, but I let him touch me.
“You couldn’t love me until you knew,” he whispered. “It would have wrecked me if you said it without knowing. But I wanted you all the same. I wanted you to love me back.”
I did love him. Though I hadn’t said it, it wasn’t a secret. It wasn’t words out in the air but clear in everything we did, in the way we moved together, in our gentle fucks, our aggressive caresses. The way we spoke, the easy silences, the looks we gave each other.
What happened then didn’t change how I felt now.
Firdman had been sent to kill my father and he probably would have found a way whether the security was working or not. Whoever wanted my dad dead would have sent another person after him and maybe he would have lived, but…
Dad knew it as well.
That family meeting we had where he put us essentially on a lockdown, removing all the staff because he was paranoid of what they would hear and who they were loyal to… he had known.
“Now you won’t ever,” he said and swallowed hard. “Now you can’t. I don’t expect you to.”
I pushed him away but kept my grip on his shirt. “If you want me to tell you I love you right now, I can’t. I won’t.”
He shook his head. “No—”
“I bloody knew it!” came a cry from the aisle between the two galleries. Our heads both turned to see Issy storming through the paintings, a glass of champagne held tight in her fist. “I didn’t need Mia turning up here because I already knew.”
By impulse, I stood between the siblings, protecting Dom. If I knew anything about Issy, it was that the champagne was about to be chucked over someone.
“Now really is not the time,” Dom groaned, his voice low and threatening. “We’ll deal with your drama later.”
“My drama?” she screeched, her nostrils flaring. “Oh, I’m the problem here? You two have had a secret relationship for weeks!”
“And what?” I snapped, done with this night, with this shit. “You wanted all the gory details? You wanted me to tell you all about it before either of us knew if it was serious or not?”
“I want it to stop!” She paused, eyes flickering between us, her expression becoming wary. “Is it serious?”
Dom looked down at me, waiting for me to respond. The ball was in my court.
“It’s serious,” I insisted. “You might not like it, you might hate me for it, but—”
She glared at me. “I asked for one thing. You promised me. You pinky fucking promised! I asked the two of you to your faces multiple times. When it ends and it all blows up in your faces, don’t come fucking crying to me.”
Hadn’t it already?
She turned on her heel and started to walk away, her every step rigid with anger.
“Issy!” I shouted, already taking off after her. After everything tonight, I needed my friend. She was the only person I truly had. I had known the risks, but now, facing them…
I trusted no one. But her and Roc.
Her hair whipped me in the face as she spun around to look me up and down with disgust. The look Dom used to give me. They were so similar with that expression on their faces. “Why him, Leo? You could have anyone. Bloody Sam Yun, Jack… you could have had them, but not him. Not him.”
This was my time to declare that we were meant to be. He was my entire life and future. But I didn’t know if that was true any more.
“He’s a broken, emotionless mess. He won’t be good for you, Leonie. He won’t change for you. Please don’t delude yourself into thinking you can make him a better person.”
“I don’t want to.”
She snorted, putting her drink down on one of the small tables. “Well, now I know you’re lying. We got out. You want back in to be with him? You could pick anyone. You could pick someone normal who would love you right.”
“I will pick him every time. Over anyone.”
Every time. Over anyone.
“Over me,” she stated. “You’ll pick dick over me. My best friend, my goddamn sister railing my brother.”
“It’s not—”
“Oh,” she laughed cruelly, throwing her head back, “so you went on cutesy dates before the two of you started fucking? You admitted your love for each other? Bullshit. You’re so broken inside the two of you that any form of love would come out twisted and shattered.”
All my breath left my lungs.
She shook her head and her eyes caught on something behind me. Her lips thinned and she nodded in the direction of her brother. “I hope the two of you are very happy.”
With that, she continued to strut away, snatching her glass as she went.
Dom hovered a metre behind me, his arms awkwardly poised as if ready to reach out.
And I fell into them. He held me so tight I was breathless. “I wish you’d told me,” I muttered. “I wish it had come from you.”
“So do I,” he mumbled into my hair. “I’m so, so sorry, Leonie. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”
Hold me. But at the same time, I didn’t want his touch.
Leave. He could leave, but I needed him. It was pathetic. I should kick and scream at him, refuse to ever speak to him.
But then I remembered the Dominic down at the cove, not wanting to touch me because he was scared he’d hurt me. Despite the desire he’d said he felt. The words he’d said to my Dad. I couldn’t ever hurt her.
My Dom, every version of him, the one that loved me softly as a child, the rebellious teenager, the mafia son who killed the man who took me, the one who had punished himself for years, the one that fucked and loved me brutally.
He couldn’t have hurt me like this. Not intentionally.
“Take me home.”