A Life Betrayed (Montreal #2)

Chapter Twenty

R ayan could no longer stand the four walls of the safe house. He felt himself bouncing against them like a rubber ball—or worse, a crazed man in a straitjacket. Here he was again, tossed about on a whim as his life spiraled out of control. If it had come to this—if Mathias was being forced to consider that—then things were coming apart faster than he’d realized, and Rayan could not hang back and relinquish his part in it all.

He dressed warmly, wearing a sweater beneath his winter coat, and laced up his shoes by the door. The urge resurfaced the same as before—the only way to shake free from the tumbling mess in his mind was to take to the streets. When he stepped out of the apartment and into the freezing air for the first time in almost two weeks, Rayan felt reborn, and his feet took over without him having to think.

The day he’d arrived on the bus from Toronto, Montreal had appeared to him like a foreign land, the neighborhoods he’d once known unrecognizable. Now he moved through streets carved with memories, returned to their familiar state. Compelled by nostalgia, Rayan let himself be led through the city, his body buzzing with the taste of freedom. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it.

Rayan didn’t know what to do about the unfolding situation, only that he had a hunch that Mathias’s stony response hadn’t been the full extent of his feelings on the matter. Why else would he have reacted so defensively when pushed? There’d been a shift in Mathias since his release from jail. He’d returned that day, humbled and disheveled, his conviction knocked. Rayan knew Mathias was protecting him, but in doing so, he was shutting him out. Mathias couldn’t do this alone—it was already taking its toll. Rayan had to stop him from making the situation even more impossible to walk away from.

In Toronto, Allen had come to him for information. Perhaps there was something he could give her that would help shift the direction of the investigation away from Mathias. While Rayan had fewer scruples than Mathias when it came to collaborating with the police, the danger lay in the very real chance of turning the man he loved against him.

Rayan found himself downtown, standing on the corner of a street he knew well and staring up at a building he knew even better. This was where his feet had taken him. He didn’t go through the lobby, instead slipping into the parking garage and taking the elevator from the basement. The code was the same, and the elevator launched him up to the top floor, where he was released into a familiar entranceway. He moved to the door at the end and brought his hand to the buzzer.

Rayan’s mind blanked as he waited for the door to open. The excuses that had sounded plausible in his mind, the infallible lines of reasoning for why he was there—when he’d so clearly been instructed otherwise—abandoned him. Instead, he stared at the man who appeared in the doorway before him, shirtsleeves rolled up, his sharp features set in a scowl.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Mathias cautioned quietly.

Rayan said nothing. He stepped forward, reaching for the front of Mathias’s shirt as the door closed behind them. Rayan pushed his lips against him like a drowning man, and Mathias raised a hand to grip the back of his neck, deepening the kiss.

Then Mathias pulled away, his face rippling with fury. “How fucking reckless can you be?”

Rayan shrugged off his coat and shoved Mathias against the wall in the hallway. “You’re going to call me reckless in the face of what you’re considering?”

Mathias knocked his hand away and stalked down the hall. Rayan caught his arm at the door to the bedroom, and Mathias whirled around and threw him onto the bed. After climbing on top of him, Mathias sat on Rayan’s legs and pinned his arms to the mattress, the iciness not leaving his eyes.

“Is this a game to you?” Mathias asked.

“I was careful.”

“I told you not to leave.”

“But you can come and go as you please?”

“You think showing up here will make me change my mind?”

Rayan threw his weight to one side and rolled Mathias beneath him. “I don’t think you’ve made up your mind.”

Mathias glared at him, his expression darkening. “Stay the fuck out of my head.”

“It’s too late for that,” Rayan said, cavalier despite the ramifications, wanting to push him that little bit further.

Mathias, stronger than him, tossed Rayan back onto the bed and lowered his face so it was inches from his own. “Careful, Rayan.” His eyes glinted dangerously. “You’re getting ahead of yourself.”

Rayan raised his head and brushed his mouth along Mathias’s neck. Then he sank his teeth into the skin below Mathias’s ear, and the man pulled back sharply, bringing his fingers to the mark Rayan had left behind.

“Make me regret it,” Rayan said.

Mathias gave him a look that would have set the fear of God in any man but flooded him with an arousal so intense his cock strained against his pants.

“Oh, I will,” Mathias said, his voice deadly serious.

Mathias stood on the balcony, a cigarette perched between his fingers, the smoke curling from its tip as he stared out across the city below, a tapestry of tiny lights in the darkness. Rayan was inside, asleep.

Mathias had been furious to find Rayan at his door, knowing just how dangerous it was for him to be seen in Montreal. But Rayan had wanted to make his protest clear, and the only way to do that—with the little agency he currently possessed—was to go against Mathias’s direct instruction. He was beginning to see that Rayan had grown tired of being sidelined in his own life. As infuriating as his actions were, it was difficult for Mathias to fault him.

What followed had been reminiscent of earlier times—rough and ruthless, a mutual frustration fueling their arousal. Mathias had fucked him face down on the mattress, one hand gripping Rayan’s wrists behind his back, the other clenched around his throat. Rayan’s usual reticence disintegrated as he pleaded in a low murmur for Mathias to let him come. But Mathias remained true to his word. Only when Rayan was moments from release did Mathias reach for the man’s cock, slick and arching, to finally provide him relief. He envied the way Rayan gave himself over completely, wielding his submission with a strange power that was both thrilling and frightening, like free-falling.

Mathias sucked in a lungful of smoke and exhaled, his mind replaying the conversation afterward. They’d been splayed out, the bed a mess of twisted sheets. Rayan lay beside him, his skin still flushed from their exertions.

“It’s strange being back here,” Rayan said, taking in the room, which hadn’t changed much since he’d last been in Montreal. “I used to think if I went through everything in this place, I’d somehow figure you out.”

Mathias’s mouth twitched, amused. “Nothing’s stopping you. But you won’t figure out shit.”

“Yeah, that would be too easy.” Rayan frowned pensively, as though the subject hadn’t been far from his thoughts. “What happens when the cop investigating both of us turns up dead?”

If they weren’t under enough scrutiny as it was, they would be then. “Now’s your chance, Rayan,” Mathias said soberly. “You can disappear for real this time. I won’t stop you.”

“That’s where we’re at?”

Mathias recalled Giovanni’s thinly veiled threat. “It’s not good. Any more heat, and the boss’ll cut me off.”

“What exactly does that entail?”

“I’m not in a hurry to find out.” He’d tried to keep Rayan out of this, but the larger implications of the investigation were coming for him, which was one reason Mathias had found himself entertaining Truman’s suggestion, as unhinged as it was.

“And if you end up in prison instead?”

“That’s not going to happen.”

Rayan gritted his teeth. “What was it you said about doomed promises?”

“It’s not a promise—more a prediction.”

Rayan’s eyebrows pulled together, and his lips flattened into a grim line. “I’m tired of losing everything. I can’t lose you too.”

He looked at Mathias, his eyes betraying the depth of his feeling. No one had ever looked at Mathias like that. The sheer weight of emotion pressed against his armor, causing it to crack. Unable to hold his gaze, Mathias turned away.

“So you’re just going to stay here and take your chances?” Rayan asked.

Mathias didn’t see what other choice he had. Run like a coward? Abandon everything he’d spent his life building? But the thought niggled: what have I really built? Once he took his foot off the city’s throat, someone else would just take his place.

“Disappear with me,” Rayan said softly.

“I can’t do that.”

“Then I’m not going anywhere,” Rayan had said.

On the balcony, Mathias pulled out his phone. He punched in a series of numbers and raised it to his ear. There was a click as the line connected, and Mathias spoke into the receiver. “I want in. Your takedown of our little friend—I want a piece.”

Truman chuckled. “I knew you’d come around.”

“What are we looking at?” Mathias continued. The stream of smoke from his cigarette contrasted with the black sky.

“She’s meeting me tomorrow night at the auto-parts warehouse on Chantier Naval Road, around eight. Don’t worry—I’ll take care of preparations.”

“Tomorrow?” Truman was moving fast. Allen must really have lit a fire under his ass.

“Figured the sooner the better. What, prior commitments?”

“No, I’ll be there. This is personal.”

He hung up, pocketed his phone, and turned to find Rayan standing by the door to the balcony. Mathias hadn’t heard the man approach, but by the look on his face, he’d overheard the conversation with Truman.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Mathias brought the cigarette to his lips and took a drag.

“What are you doing?” Rayan asked, his voice rising in anger.

“Stopping some dumb cop from getting herself killed,” Mathias snapped, and Rayan’s expression changed as realization dawned on him.

Desperation had a way of simplifying complex decisions. When a person was in a panic to make a move, it was easy to lose sight of the larger picture. A decision like this, half-baked and hastily executed, had the potential to lead to disastrous consequences. Mathias was not desperate—not yet.

“I’m coming with you,” Rayan said.

Mathias snorted and turned his gaze back to the flickering lights. “You’ll stay here.”

“You know as well as I do Truman won’t come alone. You’ll be outnumbered. I’m not letting you go without backup.”

Mathias’s eyes snapped to his. “Stay here,” he repeated sharply.

“You don’t give me orders anymore, remember?” Rayan countered, holding steady.

Mathias clicked his tongue in frustration. “I swear to God, Rayan—”

“That’s what this is now,” he cut in. “I don’t stand back and do what you say.”

Mathias took in the defiant jut of his jaw. He could still feel the sting along his neck where Rayan’s teeth had cut into his skin. “When did you get so fucking stubborn?”

“I learned from the best.” Rayan gave a shrewd smile and moved across the balcony to him. He placed his hand beside Mathias’s on the railing, the touch of his skin a shot of warmth in the cold night air. They stood like that while Mathias finished his cigarette, and then Rayan spoke.

“The file. Is it here?”

Mathias felt a twinge of unease. “And if it is…?”

“I want to see it.”

As far as Mathias was concerned, some things were better left buried. But who was he to try to protect him? If Rayan wanted to relive the turmoil of his past, fine. He was welcome to it.

Mathias stubbed out his smoke and pulled away from the railing. He strode into the apartment and down the hall to his study, aware of Rayan following silently behind. Mathias bent to open the lower drawer of the cabinet against the wall. He removed a thick manila folder and dropped it down onto the desk.

Rayan stood in the doorway, watching. Slowly, he made his way over to the desk. He remained standing, one palm resting against the desk’s surface as he flipped open the cover. He turned each page methodically, his face unmoving as his eyes scanned the contents. He didn’t look like a man uncovering the minutiae of a life riddled with abuse and neglect, all the painful details distilled into a case worker’s clinical notations.

Turning the next page, Rayan froze. “Christ…” he hissed and lurched back from the desk as though struck. He brought a clenched fist to his mouth, making Mathias wish he’d lied. Rayan shook his head in disbelief. “It’s been here all this time? I’ve spent years wondering what happened…” His face twisted in anger. “And you never thought to tell me?”

“This isn’t about me.” Mathias stepped forward, glancing at the report—a series of grisly images laid out on the page—before closing the folder.

When he looked up, Rayan was staring at him, his eyes hollow. “It doesn’t even say where she’s buried.”

“Laval or Longue-Pointe,” Mathias said. “That’s where the city takes them when there’s no family.”

“I’m her family,” Rayan whispered, slumping against the wall. “What kind of person lets his mother rot in an unmarked grave?”

“You were a kid.”

“I’m not a fucking kid anymore.”

“Then decide what you’re going to do about it,” Mathias said quietly. “Because it’s not going to get any better if every time you press against it, it bleeds.”