A Lost Light (The Bestiary #4)

9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Aahil

S liding down Dyre's slender body, I undid his fly and got my hands on his hard, cool length, pleased to find his cock was as long and perfect as the rest of him. “Stay,” I told him firmly when he levered himself up onto his elbows. “Lay back down and enjoy the mind-blowing orgasm I'm about to bestow upon you, necromancer.”

He made a deep, inarticulate sound in his throat as I sank my hot mouth down over his cool skin. I enjoyed the contrast between us. I could only imagine what it must feel like to have your cock engulfed in heat when you were used to always being chilled. And I ran much hotter than his other lovers. I swirled my tongue around the head as I sent sparks dancing over his body to tantalize every inch of heat-starved flesh that wasn't currently covered by his clothing.

It had been quite some time since I'd done this for someone. And even longer since I had wanted to. I moaned when I realized I was enjoying myself. My eyes flicked upward as I gripped the necromancer's thighs, raking my short claws over the denim fabric. His violet gaze was locked on me, his hands fisted in the blankets as he tried to hold still and behave. He probably knew that I had a no touching rule. As closeknit as everyone was in this house, he probably knew I still had some… issues with sex.

Rather than annoying me, I found that I was okay with his knowing. It made me feel more confident. More in control. I was certain the necromancer wouldn't cross my boundaries. He was—inexplicably and astoundingly— innocent, I supposed was the best word for it . And it was disgusting how much I apparently liked that about him.

Reaching out a hand, I untangled his fingers from the blanket and moved them to my hair. Then I winked, going back to using my considerable talents to ruin him for anyone else. The thought made me feel supremely self-satisfied. This was my element.

Dyre's long fingers hesitantly curled into my hair and something inside me relaxed. I was used to being domineering and I was always sure of my ability to detect when someone wanted me. Reading desire was part of my innate magic. And so was my natural allure. I was used to people lusting after me, whether I wanted them to or not. And yet… apparently some part of me was just as ridiculously self-conscious as the man beneath me. Apparently, I needed to know he actually did want this and wasn't just going along with my overbearing ways.

He was different from the other men I had been with. And that should be terrifying. All that innocence, self-consciousness, and trust. And yet, my cock throbbed, and every fiber of my being wanted to give him pleasure. To live up to my promises.

When his grip on my hair tightened and he started to tremble, I let out a little groan of pleasure. I took him deep and drank down his release like the finest wine. Then I smirked up at him, doing my best to hide some very uncomfortable soft feelings under humor. “Well?” I said with a wink. “Are there any braincells still functioning, necromancer?”

He opened his eyes and looked down at me, his expression unreadable. “Maybe a few.”

We both stared at each other for an uncomfortable moment before he lunged, using more than witch strength to drag me up beside him. His lips met mine, and I froze for a moment in surprise before relaxing into him, returning the slow, lazy kiss. Right. This was how it was supposed to be. Andy and Hasumi were the only ones who had ever wanted much to do with me once the orgasms were over. Once I had served my purpose.

Dyre growled low in his throat and pushed me onto my back, his hand sliding down my chest to slip under my waistband and grip my still hard cock. I let out a strange sound and froze at the suddenness of the move, my body and mind not sure if we should set someone on fire, freeze in panic, try to escape, or… thrust upward into the firm, cool grip around our cock.

Before I could make up my mind, Dyre suddenly withdrew his hand and sucked in a breath. “Fuck. No. I'm sorry.”

He shook his head, and I watched a flurry of emotions cross his features as he waged some sort of internal battle. Then his eyes met mine, in mournful apology. “I'm sorry. He doesn't understand. He was just curious and… well, based on prior experience he thought that was the logical next step.” Dyre shrugged awkwardly, still propped up on one elbow beside me.

I blinked at him, still trying to decide if I felt attacked or aroused. “What just happened?”

But my brain was catching up. His words only confirmed my suspicions. “Sunny happened,” he said with a groan, flopping back onto his back and draping a long arm over his face. I thought he might be blushing, if it were physically possible for a necromancer to blush. “Andy and Ambrose are okay with it. And… well, Sunny finds this whole sex thing interesting and new. So, he didn't understand that you might not want that. He thinks mortals are silly and weird with all of our emotions and our needs.” He didn't seem to be able to stop talking. He just kept babbling. “I'm sorry,” he repeated, finally removing his arm from his face and turning his head to meet my eyes. “Truly. I know there are… boundaries. And that maybe you were only playing around with me just now. I didn't mean to make you feel—”

I cut the idiot off by pressing my lips to his. I had decided how to react now. I gripped his hand and pulled him toward me, placing his palm back on my lower belly. “Stop talking and finish what you started, witch,” I demanded, pressing in to nip at his neck.

Words, words, words. Everyone was always wanting to talk and discuss emotions , and ask me how I was feeling and treat me like I might break. Even I tended to act like I was made of glass, thanks to all of their fussing. But right now, I wanted this. I wanted to be treated as if this was just the natural next step after sucking a guy's dick. Not like I was damaged goods.

Dyre's cool fingers wrapped around my throbbing cock, and I thrust into his grip. “Are you sure, Aahil?” he whispered against my hair.

I growled. “Stop. Talking.”

He huffed, but did as I ordered. His free arm wrapped around me, holding me to him as we lay on our sides. I buried my head in his shoulder, hiding in the curtain of his long, silky hair as he slowly, firmly stroked me, adding a little twist at the top that made my toes curl.

I gripped his hip with one hand, and his shirt with the other, hanging on for dear life. It felt so good. Safe. I shut out everything else, silenced all the voices in my head that usually ruined this, and just let myself feel.

Dyre was warmer than he had been, but he was still cooler than my own raging jinn body heat. His cool touch on my cock and on my back felt nice. Contrast. And a reminder that he was more than he seemed. If anything went wrong… if I lost myself and my magic went haywire or my darkness took over, or I went completely insane… well, Sunny would handle it. Probably for good. But still, the thought was comforting. A bit of the wraith's dark aura wrapped around us, and I felt as if I was hidden in shadow.

Pleasure rippled up and down my spine as Dyre's hand pressed between my shoulder blades, holding me, anchoring me. His strokes sped up and I curled my hands into his t-shirt, pressing my head hard to his chest, still cocooned. Still hidden in darkness as I raced toward climax. As I reached out past the fear and the memories, I thought of Andy. Of Hasumi. Of the weird connection I had with this necromancer who was currently holding me together and simultaneously asking me to fall apart in his arms.

The orgasm surprised me. One moment I was yearning, striving toward a pinnacle that I thought was impossible for me to ever reach again. And the next I was soaring. Falling. Shaking in Dyre's long arms as I spilled heat and passion between us.

Vulnerable. Raw.

Long fingers stroked through my hair. And a deep voice rumbled against my cheek as he squeezed me to him. “It's okay,” he murmured. “Shh… it's okay. I know. I get it. It's okay.”

It took me far too long to realize what the idiot was going on about. To realize that I was crying. Sobbing softly against the soft cotton that covered his cool chest.

“Shut up,” I muttered between gasping breaths.

“Okay,” he said evenly. “Okay, Aahil. Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart. Bah. I scoffed at him, but couldn't speak.

I felt stupid. Like a child, curled up and blubbering on the man I'd thought an enemy not an hour before. All because I'd had one little orgasm.

Pathetic.

“You're not pathetic,” he murmured, still talking . I must have said that bit out loud. His big hand smoothed over my back, and he ignored the wetness between us as he rolled over and pulled me on top of him. Then he yanked the blanket over my head and buried me. As if he knew that I wanted to hide forever.

“I'm certainly not going to judge,” he told me with a hint of humor in his deep voice. “I'm an abomination, remember? I'm still trying to get over the idea that anyone would even touch me willingly.”

I huffed and snuggled deeper into my stupid cocoon.

“I won't tell anyone,” he whispered after a bit of silence. “If that's what you're worried about.” His hands still stroked over my back, petting me like an upset cat in need of soothing. Then he sighed. “And… thank you. For accepting me. For trusting me. Or… whatever this is.”

I considered simply dematerializing and leaving. But that felt cowardly. Not knowing what to say or how to get myself out of this situation, I turned my head and bit him, sinking my sharp canines into the lean muscle of his pec.

“Ow! What the hell?” he yelped. Then he let out a weary sigh and went back to petting my back. “Yeah. Okay. Fine.”

I was never emerging from these blankets. I would die here before I ever came out and faced anyone again. Especially the necromancer.

The embarrassment would be the death of me.

Though, I had the stupid, sappy thought that this whole awkward encounter might have been worth it.

A knock at the door interrupted my suicide plans.

“Aahil?” Andy called through the heavy wood.

I sat up and threw the blanket off my head, my eyes meeting the wry gaze of the necromancer I was currently straddling. Both of us were clothed, and he had tucked himself back into his pants at some point, which I supposed might be a relief. If I cared about nudity. I arched a brow at the necromancer, and he pushed up on his elbows to mutter a spell that removed some of the less savory evidence of what we had been doing.

Climbing off the necromancer, I strode across the room, opened the door, and leaned against the doorframe, doing my best to look idle and unconcerned. “Yes? What has you beating down my door, witch? Is the house on fire? Are we under attack?” I smirked. “Did you lose one of your fuckbuddies?”

She narrowed her eyes at me, then tilted her head, leaning so she could see into the room.

“Hi, Andy,” Dyre said tiredly from the middle of my nest of pillows. His long hair was still loose, spilling over the cushions, and his t-shirt was rucked up on one side to reveal his lean stomach. He looked pleasantly boneless, which made me want to smile proudly at the effect I had on him.

Andy's gray eyes widened. I wasn't really concerned that she'd be angry. Why should I care? Everyone else around here fucked like rabbits. Why should it matter if I stole the witch's toy?

And yet, something in me relaxed when she just shook her head and huffed a little laugh. “Really?” she said, arching a brow and returning her gaze to me.

I shrugged. “Apparently, I have no taste in bed partners.”

She slapped my shoulder and rolled her eyes. “You have excellent taste. I just thought you two hated each other.”

Dyre stood, unfolding gracefully from his nest on the floor and running a hand through his long hair to tug out some of the tangles. “Absolutely,” he said with a shrug. “Loathe the little jackass.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes at him. True to his word, he showed not a single sign that he had just been sheltering me while I had some ridiculous meltdown. He once more looked as placid and unruffled as ever. “He might be growing on me. Disgustingly,” I drawled.

Dyre gave me a half smile, and Andy laughed. “You two are so dumb.” Then, apparently content to let us have whatever… this was… she moved on to more important business. “We got the coordinates for the safe space from Bella. We're going to head out to Magea to practice with the artifacts in half an hour or so, if you two aren't too busy bumping uglies to join us.

She smirked.

I gave her a bored look at her crass human lingo.

Dyre brushed past us to get to the hallway, muttering something about getting some spell supplies and books to take with us. I don't think I was the only one who noticed that his cheeks were colored with a bit of purple, like a faint imitation of a deathly blush.

Once Dyre vanished around the corner at the end of the hall, Andy turned back to me and arched a brow. “You okay?” she asked, direct and annoyingly perceptive as always.

I glared. “Why wouldn't I be?”

She just continued to stare at me, and I felt all of my old defenses crumbling away. “It was… strange. And I behaved like an idiot. I was pathetic. I have no idea why he is so kind. It's disgusting.”

She silently laughed at me. “See?” she finally huffed out. “I told you he was good people. No one wanted to believe me.”

I studied my claws. “You might, possibly, maybe be partially correct.”

Then I did the hard thing and forced myself to be serious. “I don't know why I feel drawn to him. But things went… further… than I am used to. And it was good. It was awful and embarrassing, and I want to erase myself from existence. But I didn't self-destruct. I didn't panic.” Too badly, anyway. “And no one died. It was good.”

I finally met her eyes again, a bit afraid of what I might see there. Would she be hurt that I had kept her at a distance, but let Dyre have this much of me? I hadn't meant to. It had just felt right this time. Probably because of how patient and understanding Andy had been with me all this time. Gah. Feelings. I hated them .

The gray eyes that met mine were full of understanding, and Andy seemed nothing but genuinely happy for me. “I'm glad you felt that comfortable, Aahil,” she said, and there was no lie to be found in her words. “These things move at their own pace, and in their own time. I'm not mad at you for choosing Dyre, if that's what you're worried about. I don't own him. Or you. Or anyone in this damned monstrosity of a house. I only want us all to be happy.” She sighed. “And I know we've all been kind of wrapped up with Elijah.”

She didn't say any more. But I got the gist. She knew I was feeling left out. I would never live this down. I nodded, unable to form words past the stupid lump in my throat.

Reminding myself who I was, I straightened my spine and pushed off the door frame, pulling Andy down to me for a soft kiss. “I am trying,” I murmured against her lips. “I am trying to be a better person. To be a whole person. But it seems this is more work than I had anticipated. I don't know how anyone does it. The world should, by all rights, be filled with nothing but crazy people. It's far too much work to stay sane.”

She kissed the tip of my nose, then my forehead. “I know,” she said wryly. “It fucking sucks trying to figure out who you are and what you really want in life. Let alone what's right and wrong. That, I can fully relate to.” Stuffing her hands in the pockets of her jeans, she nodded her head at the hallway where Dyre had disappeared, toward the stairs. “Wanna go practice fucking shit up using unstable stolen magical artifacts?”

I grinned. “Absolutely, witch. Lead on.”