Chapter 29 When He Dreams
The week goes like this: a couple of celebrities make appointments for the Experience; podcasters and journalists reach out for interviews; investors start to call; my UTI test results come out inconclusive, but my doctor sends in a prescription for an antibiotic in case I do have one; Bridget’s doctor’s office makes me a new patient appointment; and Darius keeps his mouth shut. With everything going on, there’s not much time to spend stressing and fantasizing about the kiss that almost happened with Issac. But every time there’s a lull while working, his words echo in my mind. For you, I’d bring down the sun.
I’m finally able to breathe about the Darius situation, but the biggest blessing of the week is how special it is that investors are the ones seeking me and Mom out. Most of them wanted us to sign paperwork before even proving what they could do for us, but we got a call from someone who seems promising.
We show up at Henry’s office in Warwick for the scheduled appointment, and Lex and Mom are impressed by him right away. His office is large and organized, there are pictures of his kids on his desk. Unlike some of the other investors, Henry speaks in raw numbers and timelines and is candid about profits and losses and some other things I have to explain to Mom and Lex. But all the while, I can’t help looking at the large patches of dandruff sitting on Henry’s scalp. Mom asks if he wants to come see the shop and test products, and he says he already sent one of his workers to the grand opening to report back. This catches me off guard. Lex glances at me too. We should’ve known an investor might do secret-shopper sneakiness, but I take note, wondering why Henry wouldn’t want to try our products himself. I think I’d have the perfect remedy to help his dry scalp.
“I’d love to sign some paperwork today,” Henry says, eyes set on Mom.
She’s all breathy and excited about his offer to provide us the capital we need for the Experience, and we all think it’s fair that he’d make 20 percent on a five-year return. But I’m not eager to sign into a partnership with him just yet. I glance down at my phone to read the last text message I got from Shida Anala again. Patiently waiting for my products to get here. But think I’ll need to visit you in person soon 3. Then I ask Henry if he can give us a minute to discuss. His eyes flick from me back to Mom before he politely excuses himself from the room.
I turn to Lex. “What’d you think of him? Honestly.”
“The man seems to really know his stuff,” Lex says. “I think the business will do well if you decide to work with him. But I don’t know. There’s something…”
“Missing?” I offer, and he nods his head. “I feel it too. Wildly Green might do well, but will it do the best that it can do?” I turn to Mom, grab her hand. “I think we should consider it for a couple of days. I’m not sure he’s invested in our products the way I’d want him to be.” Her eyebrows dip, creating frown lines on her face. “And I keep thinking Dad would say to trust myself.”
She blinks at the mention of my father. “What if we leave Henry waiting and he changes his mind?”
“I’ve thought of that too,” I admit. “But what if we give it time and someone better comes along? Are you really comfortable signing a ten-year contract with him without making sure we don’t have other options?”
“I’m not sure there’s going to be anything better,” Mom says.
This is her baby, her life’s work, her hopes and dreams I’m asking her to put on the line. I hope I’m right. She squeezes my hand.
“But I trust you. I believe in you. If you think we should wait, then we will.”
Over the phone, Katrina paints her toes while I feed my plants. When she told her boss she was looking for work elsewhere, it took him two days to pull her into his office and offer the raise she was asking for. She told him she’ll give him a decision after collecting her other offers. She’s already got two interviews and one solid offer from another consulting company. I make a mental note to pick her up some chocolate-covered strawberries to celebrate her bravery right before she hits me with the “Soooooo.”
“That doesn’t sound like a so my supervisor is a—”
She cuts me off. “No, no. Let’s talk the juicy stuff. Is the sex better now that you and Issac don’t have to hide the relationship y’all clearly had for years? Girl, the way he looked at you on grand reopening day.”
“We weren’t hiding anything, and you were there for five minutes!”
“And all five of them he was looking at you like you exude sex. Eye-fucking you in front of older folk. It was scandalous. Your momma was there, for God’s sake.”
My temperature rises. This is very different from the sweet way Bridget said it.
“He was doing no such thing. Why would he?”
Katrina is silent for a second, and I realize I screwed up again. “Why wouldn’t he?”
I chew my lip, annoyed over my mistake. “Just…we were only about business that day. He was strictly professional. And then you know Darius came in and ruined things.”
Katrina hums, and I swear it’s suspicious, until she says, “Think what you want, but I saw it and I’m sure everyone else did too. You’re the only one who doesn’t seem to notice the way he notices you. It’s kind of cute, in a silly way because what you should be doing is sneaking to the back room for a quickie when he comes down. The adrenaline of people possibly catching you in the shop will make it ten times more intense. Promise you that. Bet when you go to the art exhibition this weekend, he’ll want to rip your dress off right in front of everyone.”
I love her. She is unequivocally her. Through and through. It’s part of the reason I feel so guilty that I can’t tell her that there will never be any sex between me and Issac. Even though my mind and my body have tried to imagine otherwise.
“Since when are you supportive of my relationship with him anyway?”
She runs the sink water on her side, says, “I still think you need to watch your heart because what if the pressure of a long-term commitment starts to get to him? It’s been sunshine and flowers now that you’re in your honeymoon phase, but what happens when life really gets in the way? What happens when you feel the distance? I’m a little nervous for Issac too. I mean, you’ve had one serious relationship but you never talk like you were in love with the man. Meanwhile, I’ve had my heart kissed and broken repeatedly, so I’ve built a tolerance. And now that I see the way Issac loves you, I’m starting to wonder if you’ll be the one to ruin it. But…I’d be the worst friend ever if I didn’t tell you to enjoy the dick before it’s gone either way.”
“Now that sounds more like you,” I say with a laugh. What I don’t say is her evaluation of me was spot-on. I was never in love with my ex, so when he cheated on me, it didn’t really break my heart.
Hours later, I wake with the back of my neck damp, the hair there sweat slick, and kick the covers off. I sit up and reach for the bottle on my nightstand to ease the burning warmth in my body, but the water is lukewarm and does nothing to settle my heat flash. I need to pee again. It’s the third time tonight, and I have to be up in an hour. I’ve been taking the antibiotic for days and it hasn’t alleviated my symptoms. I sigh and start to stand, but then my phone vibrates with a text from Issac.
You’re a heavy sleeper so I hope this doesn’t wake you, but I dreamt of you tonight. Whenever I dream of you, it’s usually little glimpses. But this one was a story. We were making a sculpture together. You had paint on your face. And I woke up wondering why we’ve never done that before.
The burn returns to my body. I cradle the phone to my chest, fighting off a smile. Issac dreams of me. He texted me during dark hours to tell me he dreamt of me making art, something he loves more than anything.
I almost text back to ask him what else happened in the story but stop myself because I know where these late-night conversations usually lead. And the last time we were together we both almost did something we might’ve regretted. Besides, Issac was the one to pull away, probably because he knows that our sexual chemistry is different from romantic love. He’s not going to alter his freedom and settle for committing to someone who’s not his soulmate. And I’m sure he wouldn’t stop himself from kissing her. I’d just get in the way of him finding that person. If he hasn’t already.
So I put my phone on the nightstand and promise myself I’ll text him something sweet in a few hours. I’d love to create art with him someday…after our desires fade.