CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHARLIE
I stare through the peep-hole in shock. “Go AWAY!”, I yell and turn to lean on the door, arms firmly crossed over my chest in comfort and frustration. I am not sure why I am so shocked he’s here. He has proven over the past few weeks that he has serious control and trust issues. If he was just honest with me this wouldn't be a problem. Of course, he’s trying to get me to move in again without an explanation is also part of the problem.
I’m determined to hold my ground and pray he doesn't say anything to change my mind. Taking a measured breath I say through the door, “I am not talking to you right now Yuri, I need space to think!”
He makes an audible sigh of defeat, “Charlie, I just wanted to talk. To apologize. Please, let me in. I really don’t want to be yelling this conversation through a door in your hallway.”
I turn to look in the peep-hole once more and see him staring through it with his dark puppy eyes, hands braced on the door. Now I am the one sighing.
Giving myself a pep talk, I close my eyes and put my hands out in front of me as I talk to myself in a whisper, “Just hear him out but do NOT give in. Hold your ground. If he wants this to work he has to be honest.”
I crack the door open but keep the chain in place in an effort to maintain some boundary and prevent myself from just forgiving him.
“Speak,” I say curtly, internally high fiving myself for holding my ground and not melting on the spot.
His eyes go wide in shock like he wasn’t expecting me to give him a chance to explain.
“You have five seconds before I close this door,” I begin to say and then soften a little because I have been ignoring him, but I will close this door in his face. He must see the determination in my eyes and he sighs again before speaking.
“Look, I know I messed up but this is all knew to me,” he says running one hand through his hair and then over his face, “I am trying and I am sorry that I am coming off like an asshole, but you have to understand that in my line of work everyone I love or care about can be used against me. You are and will always be in danger because I am a selfish asshole that can't let you go. I just want to protect you, Malyshka .”
I am determined to hold on to my anger which is difficult because I can tell he is being sincere, but I worry about giving in too quickly. I don’t want him to think all he has to do is flash those gorgeous, deep starlight eyes at me and apologize. I can’t let him get away with talking to me like this.
“Look, Yuri, I get that you're living this big bad life. That’s not the issue. I mean it should be, but it’s not. The issue is you thinking you can boss me around and manipulate me into doing what you want. That… isn't going to fly with me.”
Sputtering angrily, he rushes out, “That isn’t my intention! I am just trying to protect you. How can you not see that?”
Holding up my hand to stop him, I continue, “I need my job, my friends, and my independence. I love having you back, Yuri. You have no idea how long I wished to see you, but you can’t come barging back into my life and start controlling everything! I need time. I need my own place and space. I don't need babysitters and I don't need you rushing me to move in with you when I just got you back less than a month ago! I know you want to keep me safe and that you are worried about me, but for the last ten years I have been taking care of myself. Having you jump in all of a sudden is jarring and you not giving me the space to think isn't cool.”
“I get that, but you need to understand that I will do anything to keep you safe. I am worried about the company you keep. You don’t understand how dangerous people can be.” He says, raising his voice a little.
Now I see red, “What the hell does that mean?”
Putting his hands out in front of him like he’s warding off a fight, he backpedals, “That came out wrong. Look, I am concerned about that guy, your friend from college, Dominic. He isn’t someone you should be spending your time with, trust me.”
I scoff, “Trust you? Yuri, are you hearing yourself? You sound like an overbearing, jealous boyfriend! Why shouldn’t I trust him? He hasn’t given me a reason not to! He was there for me when you weren't!”
I am done with this conversation and need him to leave! I am so angry. Nothing good or productive is going to come out of this conversation. I know my face is twelve shades of red right now, I’m raging, “Get out!” I shout, “Have a good night and keep your goons away from me. I don’t need them.” I slam the door in his face and lock it immediately. I’m breathing too fast. My heart is pounding out of my chest. Panicking right now will not help, so I try to slow my racing heart. I close my eyes, stretch my neck, and ball my hands into fists and stretch my fingers. I repeat this for what feels like an eternity. Once I hear a few pops from my neck and feel the tension leave my body I open my eyes. I can’t believe that just happened.
I check the peep-hole and nothing. I look out my window and don’t see his car or any evidence he left the spearmint twins either. I am not sure how I should feel about that, so I push down the conflicting emotions that are creeping in and order the pizza for me and Dom. I will not let this argument ruin my night.
When Domonic shows up at my apartment I am swept up into the biggest hug ever. It’s great to have him back and I needed that hug more than he knows. Once my feet are back on the floor, I give him the grand tour.
“It’s definitely a cute place C.C! Perfect for you.”
We grab some pizza slices, sit on the couch, and he proceeds to tell me all about his adventures overseas. Even though he complained about having to go in the first place, it sounded like he enjoyed himself and learned a lot about his family’s business.
“So what exactly will you be doing for your dad? I mean, I know you studied business but what does your family do ?” I say hesitantly, definitely trying to keep the conversation on him and his plans instead of me.
“Oh, I thought I had mentioned that before." My family runs an import export business. You know standard goods and services stuff. We are trying to expand into some docks in Florida and Texas right now, but mostly we use planes to move our goods around the states and other territories, even Canada and Mexico. That sounds really boring when I say it out loud to someone that isn’t in the business.” He chuckles and takes a big bite of pizza before he asks, “What have you been up to lately? We haven’t really talked much. Work getting busy? Any big stories you are working on?”
I sigh and set my plate of half-eaten pizza on the coffee table and tell him everything, mostly. At first I’m determined to leave out any discussion of Yuri and our sexcapade because honestly it makes his reentry into my life sound like he was a manipulative stalker but I need Dom’s male perspective. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive about the entire thing or maybe Yuri is a controlling asshole that needs to take a chill pill. I don’t know, so I need an unbiased third-party-opinion to balance out the tug of war going on in my head.
We finished our pizza and now we’re sitting on the couch drinking some much needed hot tea.
“Wow, well that sounds like an eventful summer thus far. Where has he been this entire time? Has he said? Why come back now?” Dom looks surprised and a bit confused. Welcome to the club.
I chuckle, “Wow! You sound like a girl wanting all the tea!” I say grabbing my mug of earl grey and laugh at the pun. “He told me some things and they make sense, I’ll give him that, but I don’t know. I’m just so confused. He was so sweet and caring when we were younger. Now, I don’t know. He seems paranoid, overprotective, and is acting like he has gone through something or thinks someone is out to get him. He keeps saying people will hurt me to hurt him. It sounds nuts, I know!” I say exasperated and throw my hands in the air.
I run my fingers through my hair in an effort to tame the curls, get rid of some knots, and do something with my hands. I’m so confused about the position I have found myself in. Saying it all out loud is helping a little. I kind of get why Yuri is scared. I mean he’s in the damn mob! This feels surreal, like I’m in some new age mafia movie. I appreciate his caution, I really do, but at the same time, he can’t just take over my life and lock me up for safe keeping. I won’t be a prisoner even if the cell is fancy. I will not thrive like that; we won't survive like that, but I can’t risk losing him either. Maybe I am over reacting. I am so damn confused !
“Honestly C.C., he sounds like a walking red flag. One you should probably avoid until you know what is really going on. He is obviously hiding something or doesn’t want to let you in. If he loved you, don’t you think he would want to let you in? Plus who wants to date an overbearing ogre?” He takes a few sips of tea and looks at me. The room goes quiet for a few heartbeats and he puts his mug back on the coffee table. He keeps flexing and clenching his fists in his lap. I can see he wants to ask something else, so I stay quiet. Clearing his throat he says, “You didn’t say what brought him around again or what caused his disappearance to begin with…” he pauses, then he asks, “Do you even know?”
I get this odd feeling in the pit of my stomach. His line of questioning seems… off? I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something doesn’t feel right.
“Like I said Dom, he explained himself. I know why he left, and it makes sense to me now why his family had to leave the way they did. My issue right now is his behavior. Why he is back or why he left to begin with isn’t a problem. Does the reason he left matter? He’s back now.”
His eyes flash with an odd cold sort of darkness but he smiles his usual cheesy grin saying, “I just care about you, that’s all. You’re sure it’s him though, right? He’s not some creep who knows you’ve been looking for a long lost childhood friend? Someone could be messing with you.”
“It’s him Dom, I am not an idiot! Seriously, what do you take me for?” What is with the men in my life these days?
“Hey,” he says with his hands up in mock surrender, “I’m just asking. I didn’t mean anything by it.” He glances at his watch and sighs, “It’s late and I have to be at the office in the morning. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I am just looking out for you.” He squeezes my shoulder, stands and gently kisses the top of my head, brings his plate to the kitchen and says goodbye on his way out.
I sit there in my apartment. Alone. Once again confused and trying to get my head on straight. I am not normally like this. I mean a little over dramatic sure but never this emotional. “Oh wait! SHIT!” I say as I run to the bathroom.
I should have known! Aunt Flo’s in town wreaking havoc which sheds a little bit of light on the situation, but still. Why are the men in my life suddenly treating me like I have a ton of rocks between my ears?
I decide to treat myself to a rootbeer float since I’ve been through the ringer and head out to Tastee-Freez before I go crazy sitting in this apartment alone with my thoughts.