A New Leaf (Hemlock #1)

Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Charlie

My hold on Finn’s jacket is so tight that my fingers begin to ache down to the bone. Never in my life have I ever grown the ovaries to make a move like this on a guy. Stretched to its limit, something inside me snapped tonight.

My therapist is definitely going to be hearing about this next week. She’ll be so proud.

Bringing my thoughts back to the moment, Finn’s grasp on my face is firm. His strong, warm hands envelop my cheeks, cradling them completely. When our lips part, a brief silence hangs in the air between us. We stand, staring at each other breathlessly, on the cold, dark street. A gust of wind blows, sending an unruly strand of hair across my face, and Finn gently tucks it behind my ear before resting his hands on my cheeks again.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since the moment I first saw you,” he says as his thumbs caress the soft skin of my cheeks.

I chuckle. “Lies. No one wants to kiss the 5-iron-wielding maniac.”

“I don’t know about that. You had a strong grip on that club . . . it was kind of a turn on.” A playful smirk flashes across his face, and I can’t help but mirror his smile.

A sudden shiver runs through me, and I’m unable to tell if it’s from the cold or from the kiss with Finn. Being the observant man that he is, Finn reaches for his scarf. Still warm from his body, he carefully wraps it around my neck. Warmth and his scent slowly seep into my skin, wrapping me in comfort. It takes every cell in my body to not just stand here and inhale him for the rest of the night.

“There,” he says, removing my hair trapped under the back of his scarf. His fingers graze the back of my neck, lingering for a few moments. Goosebumps, not from the cold, erupt over my body. “Better?”

I give a gentle nod. “Yes, thanks.”

Finn smiles down at me while tucking another strand of escaped hair behind my ears. Once again, his hands cradle my face as he places a tender kiss on my forehead.

My heart nearly stops in my chest. The air leaves my lungs, and I begin to feel dizzy. No one, and I mean absolutely no one, that I ever dated had given me a simple forehead kiss. Even though it was a small gesture, it carried immense meaning for me.

When Finn planted his soft lips just below my hairline, a wave of reassurance and adoration washed over me. Two feelings that I have never felt before in any of my previous romantic relationships. I want to hang onto this feeling—hold it close to my chest and never let it slip through my fingers.

“Let’s get back to my place, okay?” Finn whispers, noticing my sudden change in demeanor.

I sniffle from the cold and nod in agreement. Before turning to walk in the direction of his house, he laces his fingers in mine.

Here we are, just two people stumbling through life, both starting over. We hold our warm hands together on a cold night, finding comfort in one another.

Throughout the entire walk back to Finn’s home, we walk in easy silence. The air between us is comfortable, free of any awkwardness. One of the things I like most about Finn is that he doesn’t have the urge to fill the silence with conversation. He’s completely okay with the quiet.

Periodically, I look up at him, and find that he has a shy smile on his face while looking ahead, which makes me smile in return.

We’re just two giddy fools with crushes on one another.

As we slowly approach his cozy bungalow, I can’t help but reflect on how at ease I feel with Finn. After the year I’ve had, my lungs feel like they can finally take a nice, full, deep breath. I’d bet my life savings that if I curled up on his couch right now, I’d fall into the deepest, most restful sleep.

Worries and insomnia be gone.

Finn unlocks the door and both dogs start barking, worried that an intruder is here to steal all their toys. The second that they realize it’s us, Vera practically jumps into Finn’s arms, and Frank wiggles around at my feet, frantically circling my legs and looking for attention. Finn and I face each other, laughing at how these dogs are clinging to the opposite owners.

“So, I guess Vera is staying with you tonight?” I joke.

Finn chuckles. “Yeah, and I’ll pick Frank up tomorrow at your place?”

“Solid plan.” I giggle. “We should get going since it’s getting late, and we both work tomorrow.”

Awareness sinks into me. I don’t want to leave. In fact, I’m sad that I have to head back home. Usually, I’m champing at the bit and making excuses to leave early.

Not now, though. Now, I wish I could stay.

“You walked here, right? Let me drive you home.” A look of concern flickers over his face.

Not one to turn down a ride home, I nod, letting him lead Vera and I to his car.

The drive was short, as we live only a few streets apart. When he pulls up to my house, Finn gets out of the car, grabs Vera’s leash, and walks us to my front door. His hand finds mine like it has a gravitational pull—our fingers intertwining effortlessly and naturally. This whole gentlemanly act he puts on makes my knees wobbly and my heart all fluttery.

Then again, maybe it’s not an act. It sure doesn’t feel like one. Perhaps it’s just who Finn is—a truly good, earnest man, down to his very soul. Not a single disingenuous bone in his body.

As the three of us slowly approach the door, my treacherous mind does what it knows best—overthink. Internally, I begin to panic. Do we kiss goodnight? Do I ask him inside? If I ask him inside, does he expect sex? That wouldn’t be a bad thing. Though I’m quite tired and a little hungry, which won’t make me great company.

“Hey, where did you go just then?” He’s looking at me with his head tilted. His low voice snaps me from my thoughts and grounds me in reality.

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

Did he just read my mind? No. That’s not possible.

“You just looked like your mind was somewhere else for a moment.” His eyes flicker between mine, searching for any hint of what my thoughts might have been.

Finn is incredibly observant. At times, it feels like he’s inside my head, knowing every thought that passes through. More than once, he knew what I needed before I even realized it myself. Those moments are when I feel the most grateful for him. It’s often hard for me to express what I want or need, so for someone to take the lead? Perfection.

“I, uh . . . it’s nothing.” I smile timidly, feeling my cheeks redden with embarrassment.

“You sure? You can tell me.” His gentle, comforting voice makes me want to blurt out every thought that is bouncing around in my head.

For a moment, I think about doing just that. Then, reality dumps on me like a bucket of ice water, and I decide there’s no way in hell I’m inviting him inside, only to turn him down for sex because I needed a sandwich rather than some dick.

Shaking my head, I gaze down at our joined hands, with Vera sitting between us. Half of her weight is on my foot, and the other half is on Finn’s. Her large puppy dog eyes swing back and forth between us, begging for one of us to make a move to go inside. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Vera is playing matchmaker.

Knowing her, though? I think she just wants to go to sleep.

“I’m sure,” I reply with a warm smile. “We should get inside. It’s late.” I stop, and Finn’s eyebrows raise. Realizing my error, I blurt out an anxious stream of clarifications. “When I said ‘we,’ I meant Vera and I. Not like you and I . Not that I don’t want to invite you in, because I had an incredible night . . . and I hope you did, too. Actually, I didn’t even want to leave! It’s just . . . I’m a bit hungry, and I don’t want to be too forward. Though you can come in if you like. But also, no pressure. I also don’t know if I have any snacks you’d enjoy. . . I have a lot of sweets and I get the feeling that you’re more of a salty-over-sweet person. But?—”

Mid-ramble, Finn interrupts me by placing a soft kiss on my lips. Thankfully, this stops me from spilling all of my deepest secrets on my too-small porch. When Finn pulls away, his lips hover over mine for a brief second. His deep blue, empathetic eyes bore into mine, speaking a silent message saying, You don’t have to explain yourself. I understand. Before he steps away from me, he cups my face with one hand, stroking my cheek with his thumb as he does, and places another kiss on my forehead.

I’m such a fucking goner.

“Get some sleep, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiles down at me, rendering me speechless.

Finn patiently waits for Vera and I to get inside and lock the door. When he hears the lock click into place, he walks to his car and drives off.

A million thoughts are swirling around in my mind, but the one that stays at the forefront is how much I enjoy spending time with Finn. It’s an indescribable feeling in the best way possible because I’ve always preferred being alone to being surrounded by people.

With Finn, that’s changed. I crave his company more than I crave my solitude.

Whenever he’s around, my heart thrums, I feel breathless, and there’s an overwhelming sense of happiness inside me.

A surge of relief shoots through me, enough to make my eyes burn with unshed tears. With everything that’s happened over the past year, I didn’t know if I could feel happiness and peace again. Blinking back my tears, I’m relieved to know that I’m not broken; I can still feel happiness, I can still laugh, and I can still enjoy life, despite my grief.

It only took a charmingly persistent guy to chip away at my walls, take me by the hand, and help show me the way.