A Queen and Her Knight: Short Stories from the Being(s) in Love Universe

Hungry

First posted, probably on Livejournal, circa 2013.

Set far before the events of Some Kind of Magic

Summary: A gay teenage werewolf in a heteronormative human world. (Ray likes a boy.) Gen.

Baseball practice after school meant Ray got home just after sunset, but he was still surprised to see his mom at home too. Working in the law office meant she kept whatever hours her boss kept, but they must not have had a pressing case tonight because his mom’s car was in the driveway and he could see lights on in the kitchen.

Ray didn’t swear out loud, not with her sharp hearing, but he picked up his backpack and his gym bag and moved as quickly as he could through the back door and past the kitchen.

“Raymond.”

Ray froze at the single word, then heaved a sigh.

“Hey, mom,”

he started as he turned around. He dropped his bags and came forward into the kitchen to kiss her cheek. He didn’t have to stoop, but she turned her cheek up anyway, so Ray tried to keep himself angled sideways so she wouldn’t see.

He still didn’t know if it was a mother thing or her greater experience with filtering out smells letting her detect hurt/pain/wound , but she inhaled sharply and then grabbed his arm with one hand. She used the other to turn his face toward her.

Ray could have shaken her off—he was stronger now and still growing—but at her soft growl, he ducked his head and held still.

He’d been planning on running out into the woods behind their house tonight and shifting for a hunt so the extra strength would make him heal faster. A hunt where he could stretch and be himself, not hunch his shoulders to fit in small high school doorways, where he didn’t have to hold back. Just the wolf and the scents of wild and free . That was the only time Ray felt normal anymore.

Now his mom was gently touching the tender skin around his left eye. He half expected her to put some of the raw meat out on the counter in front of her on his face, but instead she took a piece of the bloody steak and popped it in his mouth.

Then she let go of him and went back to preparing dinner.

Ray was actually starving. He always seemed to be starving these days. He’d wake up bigger and taller, with more hair all over him, and be hungrier than he’d ever been in his life. So he chewed and swallowed before looking at her again.

“I was going to ask if you’d thought about what we talked about on Saturday, but I guess now I’ll just ask, was anyone else hurt?”

She meant: had he hurt any humans ?

Ray shook his head. Not much. Just what it had taken to push the other guy off and let him know it would be a mistake to try that again. One slight push of Ray’s paw—hand—and the guy had been on his ass on the dirt in front of everyone, eyes wide with real fear before he’d hidden it.

Ray had had to stop himself from shaking, or shifting, or following the action with another, like going for the throat.

He realized he was snarling and stopped, flushing hot. His mother wouldn’t blame him for that; she was always telling him and his sister that puberty was a hard time for werewolf, saying it so often it was embarrassing. But she was right. Everything made him want to shift or pounce. He was always too hot.

“They are weaker than we are and don’t know any better. But for this to work, they can’t fear us.”

She took a sip of her white wine. Ray didn’t know why his mom liked wine, except to flavor her cooking. He didn’t know why anyone liked it, honestly. He would have tolerated the taste the way he tolerated stolen beer at house parties, to fit in without making a scene, but he wouldn’t drink it on his own. She might have gotten into the habit from doing the same thing. It was always about appeasing humans. Even….

Ray sighed and kicked the fridge, lightly, with his cleat. “I know they’re weaker. But he said...”

He shut his mouth and clenched his jaw.

Senior prom was coming up. Everyone was supposed to go—with a date. Even the were people wanted on their team because he swung the bat harder than anyone else but didn’t really want to hang out with because he didn’t like beer, or couldn’t get drunk, or because he didn’t want to date a cheerleader.

“It doesn’t matter,”

Ray finally rumbled, barely suppressing a growl. “He was right.”

“ Raymond .”

Ray looked over at his mother through his loose, falling hair. She stood tall and straight, her hair without a touch of gray, her arms toned as she sliced up more steak. She smelled like perfume and wine and blood, a weird mix like iron/strength and soft/warm .

He looked at the floor. “No one is going to go with me,”

he muttered. Not who he wanted anyway.

His mother made a noise.

“Didn’t I tell you on Saturday that Cici next door said she’d go with you?”

Ray hadn’t forgotten. How could he when the humiliation of being found a date by his mother made him squirm? Cici’s family lived on the next property over, just on the outskirts of town, and had gotten used to their werewolf neighbors years ago.

Cici was fifteen and pimply and very sweet but....

“She isn’t who... She’s not....”

Ray bit back the rest and turned. He opened the fridge and rooted around so he wouldn’t have to turn back, finally taking out the milk carton to have a long drink from it. Any other time, his mother would have lightly smacked the back of his head for that. Now she just waited, patient.

“Raymond.”

Worry/worry/worry radiated from her. He had to turn back. “Have you asked anyone?”

“No.”

That made it worse. Ray closed his eyes, but suddenly all he could see was himself trying to ask that question, how his voice would change, subtly drop into a growl the longer he talked. As close as he’d have to be to ask, his instincts would be so much stronger, overpowering, and he wanted... he wanted....

The growl emerged despite his struggling. He opened his eyes to stare at his mother, absolutely mortified. Her eyes were so wide, he couldn’t help himself—he howled.

“I don’t want to go with a girl, all right? I want to take Bradley Carmichael!”

Take him. That was exactly right. Ray had barely ever spoken to him, didn’t dare, but he didn’t care about the dance, he wanted to take him, to get Bradley in his dad’s old truck, and pin him down, and just bury himself in him. Find out his scent, his up-close, turned-on scent, and lick it up. He wanted to taste him, and Ray still wasn’t sure about anything, what to do outside of pictures and porn, but he wanted that, again and again.

With someone he’d never even spoken to since grade school. He wasn’t even sure when it had happened. The feelings weren’t new—when he’d been about thirteen, any pleasant scent had set him off to the point where he’d had to take time off from school and disappear into the woods until he could control himself in public—but they were so much stronger now. Nearly unbearable.

He liked Bradley, liked his shiny blond hair, his loud, sassy way of talking and commanding attention, how funny he was in the school plays, the way he sang. He liked how he looked back at Ray sometimes, like he’d never seen anyone so fascinating.

But Ray was already enough of a freak at school. People should have been used to beings by now, but the old lies and prejudices remained, and this.... Even if Ray did ask, he was sure Bradley would say no.

And his mom, what was she going to think? It wasn’t hated among his kind, but their pack was so small, just the three of them, and Ray was supposed to be....

He jumped as his mom came forward and took his face in her hands.

“Raymond,”

she said, and her gaze, her smell, were so much calmer now, even amused. He glared at her, but there wasn’t much force in it. She spoke as if she didn’t even see it. “You have been spending too much time with the humans. They forget things they once knew. There was this fairy once....”

The idea of his mother talking to a fairy at all was distracting, but Ray didn’t get a chance to ask.

“What I’m saying is, ask this boy, Raymond. If you think our people would care, then you’ve forgotten everything I’ve taught you. And most humans have long ago stopped bothering about that when they have bigger things to be afraid of.”

She smiled, her canines very obvious.

Ray couldn’t speak. Which was probably for the best when his mom stepped away and went back to her steak and wine.

“Don’t act so surprised,”

she went on smoothly. “Your father and I could smell the infatuation all over you every time you met a new little boy. It isn’t like we didn’t know. Now go get cleaned up for dinner.”

Ray stared at her for another moment, his face burning so much he forgot about his eye, and then turned to leave the room and go clean up.

The End