Mar
It had not been easy, what the world had demanded of her. Not when it had demanded something she wished for deeply; life within and without, her own flesh to belong to.
Certainly not when she’d failed to bring a child to the world.
And then the world had tightened its grip around her, and it’d felt like she was being punished for it all; for the babies that were not, and her own desperate unhappiness, and Valgar’s quiet disappointment.
Lord Quincy had arrived in her life to replace her, and she should have hated him on sight.
Knowing Valgar had touched him, had bitten him.
.. it had not been easy, and for those first few weeks, she might have taken more than her fair share of Valgar’s time as a result, keeping him in her bed and her body. Keeping him.
And now Quincy had given Valgar an heir.
But the very thing she’d feared had been the window through which light had finally returned. Because the baby elevated Quincy in importance in the eyes of the council, yes. Technically, he was the countess now. But the baby was in her arms now, snuggled close and her child from the first cry.
And Quincy had not offered and Mar had not asked, he’d simply assumed as much himself; he passed their little girl over to her when he was done feeding her, talked about the ways in which Mar would braid her hair one day, and thanked the gods that she had the experience with children that he lacked.
But didn’t thank her—just as he didn’t thank Valgar.
She could not have asked for more. In fact, holding Quincy’s hand as he had squatted to give birth and screamed, blood pouring out with life as it always did, perhaps she had something to give thanks for as well as regret.
But the world was more generous than she could hope for.
She was waiting for Quincy to finish bathing after his first ride since giving birth two months prior. It was an understandable delay, but Lelth could not be reasoned with and it wasn’t surprising that she was nuzzling at Mar’s chest instead.
Mar stared down at the baby in her arms, frozen in place by the sensation of her little mouth sucking at her through the thin tunic.
It was all it took, that instant, and then the sensation changed and she gasped.
It was— Lelth didn’t need it explained, she went for it, sucking harder to make up for the filter.
The sudden rush of liquid startled Mar enough to separate them.
Lelth screamed, frustrated and making no secret of it, and Mar hastily pulled at the neck of her tunic, stretching it likely past repair to expose her breast. There was no thought or consideration; Lelth’s need and her own felt like a path materialising right under her feet.
It wasn’t unlike a first kiss; the touch both soft and greedy, giving in without question, her heart pounding in earnest, a song of devotion no words could capture. There were tears in her eyes and she let them spill as well, open as wide as she’d ever been and, for once, not afraid.
“Mar?” Quincy’s dark hair was damp still and his eyes were wide and low.
She looked up at him, swallowing thickly, but didn’t stop. “I... She needed—” She cut herself off, dropping her eyes. She was making excuses for the inexcusable, Quincy had given her as much as anyone could expect and more, and here she was taking even more.
“Is it... working?” He stepped closer to her chair now and leaned over them both, putting a hand on Mar’s hunched shoulder. “Mar, this is—”
“I’m sorry,” she said tightly.
“What?” Quincy asked.
“I’ll stop,” she added, standing up with some difficulty. “Here—”
Quincy caught her, stabilising her and trapping Lelth between their bodies. “Don’t stop,” he whispered, eyes on hers. “I don’t want you to stop.”
Mar’s heart had been as wide open as it could before, and now she had nothing to hide behind as the tears started flowing in earnest. She turned her face away a little, swallowing and breathing deeply.
Her partner didn’t speak, he simply stayed, warm and strong. Soft and generous.
“Thank you,” she told him, and his thumb swept the tears off her eyelashes, his eyes glowing with love.
He shook his head. “You are welcome, my lady. And more than,” he added, mouth quirking into a smile. “If it means I can sleep through the night once in a while.”
Mar snorted and the movement dislodged Lelth. Quincy traced a gentle thumb over the baby’s face, shushing her, the back of his knuckles brushing Mar’s exposed skin and setting her shivering. “It’s okay, little one.” He met Mar’s eyes. “You want to swap sides?”
And Mar laughed properly this time, passing Quincy their child without needing to ask, and shaking her head once she was free. “You truly... You are a blessing, Quincy.”