10. Reagan
10
REAGAN
The cancer center is a solemn place. It’s quiet, and I suppose it should be. We all decided to go with Matt. This is a sacred space for him, and since this was his event, we want to support him in this. His eyes are already misty, and we only just arrived. When we get there, we all pile out of the vans. There are reporters everywhere. We can’t hide when we’re in public here, not with all the fundraising events we’ve done. Lake Fisher is relatively secluded, and Mr. Jacobson let us bring in extra security to keep the paparazzi away, but out in public like this, it’s a different story.
Pete takes my hand as I climb out of the van. “You doing okay?” he asks.
Crowds used to bother me a lot. I’ve come a long way since then. “I’m fine,” I say. “Do you think Matt’s going to be okay with all this?
This hospital has one of the largest cancer centers in the country, and it’s one of the finest. The place is enormous. There are long-term residents, and there are day-therapy visitors. Matt wanted to do a meet-and-greet with his brothers, and I just came along for the ride. What surprised me the most was the Fallen from Zero girls and their husbands also came. Lark, Finny, Star, and Wren came along with Peck, who, of course, accompanied Sam. The Zeroes brought their security, because they’re so popular that safety was a concern. Five huge guys surround them as we all walk into the cancer center. Their husbands all trail behind.
They gather the Reed boys and take them to a large conference room with a long table at the front. There are promo pictures of the Reed brothers all over the place. The head of the board of directors greets them, they shake a lot of hands, and they settle behind the table. They’re all dressed in jeans and t-shirts, their tattoos on display, and I’ve never been prouder than I am right now to be part of this family. They do a lot of good back home, but this is on another level. They are giving their time. They also gave quite a lot of money, but when Matt set all this up, he told them he didn’t want anyone to know about the money he was donating. He just wanted to show his face and let the people know he cares.
Paul speaks for a minute, and I’m not going to lie—I zone out a little. I look at the people who have gathered. They let the patients fill the first ten rows of seats. They are all ages, from kids to preteens to middle age and beyond. You can tell they’re at different stages of their therapy, and a few of them wear cancer survivor pins on their shirts, meaning they came through to the other side and are in remission.
Someone raises his hand and asks if tattoos hurt. Paul answers and informs him that most tattoos do, indeed, hurt.
After Paul finishes speaking, a hand goes up, and a small voice says, “Mr. Reed.” All five brothers say “Yes” at once, which makes them all laugh. “Mr. Matt Reed,” the boy corrects. Matt sits up taller.
“Just Matt is fine,” Matt says patiently. “Did you have a question?”
“You had cancer, right?” the young man asks.
Silence falls upon the room. “I did.”
“Did you ever worry that you’d die?” the boy asks.
Matt freezes. Then he sucks in a deep breath. “Only every day,” Matt admits. He presses on. “Then I worried that I would live. I saw a lot of friends die, people I met in the hospital.” His eyes meet Seth’s, and Seth nods at him in encouragement. “So, I worried about death, and then I worried about living, and then I mourned people I did lose, and most of all, I worried about my brothers mourning me.” He finds Emily in the room, and he stares at her as he speaks. “My family didn’t have a lot of money, and we didn’t have insurance, so I couldn’t get the treatment that I needed because we couldn’t afford it.” He continues to stare at Emily. “Then I met someone who helped me get into a chemical trial that had had some success, but it was very expensive. My little brother fell in love with the right girl at exactly the right time. I lived. The therapy worked for me.”
“Do you worry it’ll come back?” the boy asks.
Matt nods slowly. “I do. I keep up with my tests so I can see if it has. But I do worry about it.”
The questions continue, and they want to know what it’s like to have four brothers. Does anyone ever put the toilet seat down? “No!” Friday calls from where she’s leaning against the wall at the back of the room, which makes everyone laugh.
They ask more questions, and it takes about an hour for them to finish up. The boys joke with one another like they always do. They give one another a hard time, but there’s a lot of love there.
Someone raises his hand and says, “Logan.” Logan sits up taller. “What’s it like having a famous wife?” he asks. He grins.
Emily started touring with Fallen from Zero and singing with them years ago. Now that they have kids, she only attends local events, but she still sings with them sometimes. She’s famous both for being married to a Reed brother and for her own talent.
He pretends to think about it, but I’ve heard him answer this question before. “When you choose the person you want to marry, you should always choose someone who is passionate about something. Music was Emily’s driving force back then.” I see Emily stand taller in the corner of my eye. “She used to busk in the subway for spare change.”
“Doesn’t she still do that sometimes?” someone calls out.
Logan laughs. “She does,” he admits. “She loves music. She loves to perform. And she’s so good at what she does.”
“Does she plan to tour again with Fallen from Zero?” he asks. “I got tickets to see them next year.” He looks from Emily to Logan and back. “Well, if everything goes well.” He’s talking about his prognosis, and while he looks tired and worn now, we all know it could go either way.
Logan freezes. He looks at Emily, and I see her nod her head. They have this effortless way of communicating with nothing more than a glance. They’ve always been that way.
Emily starts toward the stage, and the people make room for her. She stops to greet the boy, leaning down to speak to him. She grins.
“I think we should do a little concert!” a voice calls out from the back of the room. I look over and see Star with her hands cupped around her mouth. She’s grinning, though.
“I second that!” Finny says.
God, I love these people so much.
“Does anybody have a guitar or two?” Wren asks.
Someone runs off to the music room and comes back with both an acoustic and electric guitar. Peck grabs a trash can, flips it over, and sits down behind it. She pulls a set of drumsticks from her back pocket and gives the trash can a tap. She nods.
“Are they really doing this?” someone says from in the crowd. “Do you know how much their concerts cost?”
“This is the best!” someone else says.
I look over and see what I assume is the boy’s mother wiping a tear from her eye.
When Emily opens her mouth to sing, sheer beauty comes out. Star takes the harmony in the first song, and it sounds like magic. The hair on my arms stands up, and I feel Pete stand next to me, pulling me close to him. He kisses my temple, and I settle back against him.
“This is the best,” I whisper to him.
“You’re the best,” he whispers back.
For more than an hour, the Zeroes play their greatest hits. Peck keeps the beat with a trash can, and the rest keep up, and it’s honestly one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to. There are a lot of laughs as mistakes are made, and someone tosses out a joke about their rhythm being off. When they’re done, they’re all sweaty and happy, and the crowd is thrilled.
I see a hospital administrator walk over to Matt and hear him ask him quietly if he’s sure they can’t announce the large donation. He tells them that he’d rather they not. I’ve never been prouder of this group in my life.
After they end the show, all the guys split up, sign autographs, and visit rooms independently. The Zeroes walk around and meet people, too, their security guards keeping them all together. You can’t be the shit without some risk.
When we get back to the lake, Mr. Jacobson greets us with a cooler full of beers. He passes them out. “I’m mighty proud to know you guys,” he says. Apparently, someone called to gush about the concert before we even got back to the campground. He glances at his watch. “As of now, you’re off the clock. You can enjoy all that Lake Fisher has to offer without having to do any more work.”