A Rogue in Sight (Vexing Villains #3)

Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

ELLISON

“Did you guys read what I sent last night?” I ask as I adjust my glasses.

“I will read absolutely anything you write, Ellison,” Asmodeus declares, which tells me that he read absolutely none of it.

Asmodeus is… Asmodeus. Honestly, describing him in any way that makes logical sense is enough to make my head hurt.

He’s a super (not quite sure I’d call him a superhero) with the ability to turn invisible as well as an extreme knack for weaponry.

Oddly enough, the database has pretty much nothing on Asmodeus, as if he popped into existence one day as a grown-ass man who decided to follow August and Landon around.

As far as I can tell, his powers weren’t even tested and still aren’t.

And while he’s an attractive man with messy brown hair and bright blue eyes, which are focused on me, the instant he speaks it all goes away.

Speaking of August and Landon, they are currently battling the hatch while they try to get our bags out of the back of the SUV.

August, the only one in this misfit team of superheroes who I would actually classify as a hero, looks over at me. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize you sent anything for us to look over or I would have read it for sure.”

Landon perks up as he tugs and pulls at his bag for a moment before it slips out. “Ohhhh, right… I remember seeing it, but I was also like… at a really good part in my book, you know? And then your notification interrupted and annoyed me, so I simply got rid of both of them on our phones.”

While August has been the main superhero of our city for many years, he semi-recently began dating Landon, a man who is as much a villain as he is a hero.

He was raised by lesser-known villains, and had committed a vast number of crimes, such as bank robbery, even as a young child.

But for some reason that I cannot quite grasp, it was all forgotten the second August set his sights on him and fell in love.

It’s good to know that love can erase felonies.

“I’m so excited,” August says, moving well past my question and on to his adventure. It was his idea to go camping, after all.

Landon looks around himself before eyeing the car.

“Yaaayyy. Sooooo excited to be like… out in nature… and stuff. And like… sleep in a tent where bears could eat me,” he says with ample sarcasm.

His speech consists of eighty percent sarcasm, ten percent sass, and ten percent honesty, but August inexplicably doesn’t seem to mind.

“Don’t worry. I’ll save you. I will blast that bear right in its furry fucking face,” Asmodeus assures him, slinging a rifle and a shotgun onto his back.

“That’s so gruesome,” Landon says as he grabs his cat Zacia, a hairless sphynx who is currently wearing a shirt that says, “I’m gonna make nature my bitch,” and puts her on his shoulder where she oversees everything.

I’m positive that he goes nowhere without his “supervillain” cat who seems to be delighted to be involved.

“To be honest, I will shoot it in the heart if I can get a good angle. Then we could eat it if we get hungry enough,” Asmodeus declares.

“There are no known cases of bears even being in this park since 1911,” I say.

“Would punching be better for you? I will punch it right in its furry face before I’d ever let one touch you,” Asmodeus continues, obviously not hearing me. “I’ve wrestled a bear before.”

“Ooh, like… a sexy bear?” Landon asks as he waggles his eyebrows.

“I… I don’t quite know what constitutes as sexy in the bear world, but he was impressive,” Asmodeus says, not getting that Landon was talking about a very different kind of bear.

Please, someone… anyone… anything… give me the strength to make it through this weekend.

“Lex. Hey, Lex, are you coming or are you just going to sit in the vehicle for two days and let the bears eat you?” Landon yells.

The back door of the SUV swings open and Lex pokes his head out, his eyes that are lined in pink liner scrutinizing us. “Are they… the sexy kind of bears?”

“I didn’t know you guys liked bears so much,” Asmodeus says. “It’s kind of creepy, my mans.”

Lex’s face scrunches up, causing his glittery eyeshadow to shimmer when his narrowed eyes land on Asmodeus. “Never mind.”

“I once ate a bear’s balls,” Asmodeus says, like that’s a good response to any part of that.

We all stop and stare at him before we decide that we’re not asking any more questions, we’re grabbing our gear and continuing on.

Thankfully, Valerie, August’s manager who also handles the other superheroes in this city, sent people out earlier today to carry the tents and food to the spot where we’ll be camping, so the only things we need to carry are personal items.

“Are we really doing this?” Lex asks.

Lex is a superhero whose powers revolve around fire.

Based on Superheroes United’s scale that classifies superpowers, he’s ranked as A Class because his abilities are quite powerful.

The only issue is that he has struggled to control his fire since he was young.

While we’ve helped him with… some success, he’s still not confident enough in his power to use it freely.

“Ellison, are you going to wear your suit to hike in the woods?” Asmodeus asks.

What a foolish question. “Of course I am.”

Asmodeus eyes me for a second before saying, “Do you understand how… impractical a suit is? There’s no flexibility.

” He puts his foot up on a stump and hip thrusts a few times, like that will show off the flexibility of his clothes.

“You need to be able to move. Rotate those hips.” He’s now leaning down and his ass is filling out every inch of those pants.

I whip out a map, hold it close to my face, and check the coordinates before setting off. “Let’s go.”

“Oh… we’re like… really doing this?” Landon asks. “I thought we were just like popping a tent in my mom’s backyard or something and calling it camping so I could run inside after August falls asleep and sleep in a real bed.”

“This is so exciting,” August says, beaming as he hurries after me. “How far to our camping spot?”

“According to the map, it’s three miles,” I respond.

The gasp that comes out of Landon is unnatural. “Jesus Christ almighty… three human miles? Or three ant miles?” Zacia is more excited than he is as she trots after August and slaps a perfectly innocent butterfly to the ground.

“Wouldn’t it be the same?” Asmodeus asks.

“Deus, you are supposed to be on my side, dammit!” Landon cries.

“Right. How dare those ants walk three miles!” Asmodeus says, which… wasn’t the point at all, but no one is going to tell him that.

I ignore all of them and keep walking. Because of the current tensions between superheroes and citizens, Valerie insisted we go camping somewhere that isn’t heavily populated.

Things are definitely better, but there’s been enough turmoil in the city that she thought it’d be best to keep August and the others from being in a place where they’d be stalked by the good and the bad.

It also helps that this is a place August has camped before, during the rare times they’ve allowed him to relax.

I really had no interest in camping with them, but Valerie asked, and the second someone like Valerie asks me to do something, I feel obligated to go along.

Asmodeus then decided he’d go because he has the ultimate fear of missing out.

And Lex… I think Lex joined us so he wouldn’t get stuck doing hero things when no one else is there to do them.

“Deus, since you came here, that must mean you want to carry me,” Landon declares.

“I can literally still see the vehicle,” I say.

Landon glances back at it. I’m not even good at throwing things, and we’re so close I’m confident I could toss a stone and hit it.

“So… we have to have walked at least two miles then, right? How far can the human eye see?” Landon asks.

“Up to three miles with twenty-twenty vision,” I say. “But not in the woods with copious trees and brush to disrupt our view.”

“Ellison, I stopped listening after you said we’ve already gone three miles,” Landon tells me.

“Did I say that?”

Landon groans a bit, but everyone else seems to be enjoying the walk.

“I was skeptical, but it’s so pretty out here,” Lex comments. “I really like it.”

“Good! I’m glad!” August says as he charges ahead. I guess since this is his expedition, I should loosen the reins a little and let him take the lead.

“You know where you’re going?” I ask.

“I do! I’ve camped out here multiple times,” he says, which I knew, but it doesn’t mean he knows the optimal path.

It kills me as I slowly fold up the map and cram it into my back pocket. It hurts. It hurts, but I just grit my teeth and suffer.

“Are you constipated?” Asmodeus asks. “If you are, I’ll find you some berries that will reverse that immediately. Like… you want to make sure your pants are off, if you get my drift.”

I quickly look over at him. “I am not… and are you planning on poisoning me?”

“Ah, your face just looked like you were. Glad you’re not. It’s no fun being constipated out here in the woods. Not fun to have the shits, either.”

“Wait a bloody second,” Landon says. “Where… where do we go to the bathroom?”

“You dig a little hole, but make sure you’re not squatting in any poison ivy, you hear me? That stuff on your balls is not fun. Take it from me,” Asmodeus says.

“No… I will not take it from you. I will never take any of this because this is not happening… August! August, dear. My love. My sweets who left this very important information out. I have to go to the bathroom in the woods?”

August turns and beams at him, and somehow it works like those little pen things in Men in Black and Landon forgets everything. He just smiles back, immediately brainwashed. He really is such a simple man when August is involved.