10. Chapter Nine
Chapter Nine
“ T o what do I owe the honor of a visit?” Winston asked late the following morning after Eliza and Trentworth had been announced and shown into his study, a careless smile firmly in place.
Clouds colored the day gray and a chill in the air had chased him into his study to work. A fire in the hearth provided additional warmth, but now that his sister and brother-in-law had arrived, he felt overly heated since he knew their arrival wasn’t purely social...or completely unexpected.
He’d hoped Eliza’s suspicions hadn’t been roused when he and Millicent encountered her at the bookshop. Now he knew better.
“Oh, I think you know.” Eliza directed him a pointed look as she sank gracefully onto the settee before the fire, her husband settling beside her. She looked every inch the duchess today. Though her blue silk gown and matching hat weren’t extravagant, they were well made and in excellent taste, but it was her poise that showed her position. She was obviously growing accustomed to being a duchess and confident of her place in the world.
Though he’d been a marquess for well over a decade, he didn’t know that he could say the same.
“Did I miss some social engagement?” Winston sat in a nearby chair and stared across the room, pretending to search his memory. “Terribly sorry if I did.”
“No.” Eliza smoothed her skirts as she shared a worried look with Trentworth. “It is the fact that I saw you dance with Millie at the ball the other night and then you were together again yesterday at Hatchards. What on earth is going on?”
Winston smothered a groan. He’d thought he and Millicent had played the moment in the bookshop casually enough to convince his sister they’d only happened upon one another by chance. Apparently, she was too observant by half.
That didn’t mean he was willing to admit to anything. He intended to protect Millicent and himself.
“I came upon her outside the shop, we entered together and enjoyed a brief conversation.” He frowned as he looked between her and Trentworth. “What else would there be to the matter?”
Eliza studied him for a long moment, clearly undecided if he told the truth. “Are you sure?”
Based on Trentworth’s expression, he was also uncertain whether there was more to the situation. Blast it.
“Why so many questions?” Winston always found it better to turn inquiries back onto the person asking.
She gazed into the fire, lips twisting as she considered the situation. Dare he hope she believed him? He certainly wanted her to as he wasn’t prepared to say how much Millicent had captured him. She was so different than he’d first thought, much more intriguing, not to mention desirable.
Millicent made him reconsider his opinions, especially those about himself. Her confidence touched him in an unexpected way, and more deeply than he cared to admit. The casualness with which she had said he could improve the estate if he wanted to almost made him believe her. So much so that he’d read some of the book on farming techniques last night before bed. To his surprise, he’d found it more enjoyable than playing cards at his club.
Apparently, he was aging quicker than he realized. That was the only explanation for his behavior.
“I wouldn’t want you to hurt her, Winston. She’s different than the ladies you tend to prefer. Her emotions run deep.”
Winston almost nodded at that truth. She was most definitely a deep well rather than a shallow pool. That he preferred the characteristic surprised him. “We were only chatting, Eliza. Nothing to concern yourself over.”
“Are you certain?” Trentworth asked as he placed an arm along the back of the settee behind his wife and held Winston’s gaze. “As I’m sure you can already guess, Miss Davies is seeking marriage, and it wouldn’t do to ruin her.”
Annoyance shot through him. “I would remind you both that I have never ruined anyone.” Never mind how tempted he’d been by the feel of her in his arms.
“No, and we would like to keep it that way,” Eliza said dryly. “As Philip said, Millie is not for you.”
Not for me ? He didn’t like that thought in the least. “You mean because I’m not interested in marriage until much later,” he suggested.
“Well, yes.” She considered her words before continuing, “Not that she’s your type anyway.”
“How do you mean?” Winston asked, attempting to sound curious rather than defensive.
“She has many good qualities, but last I checked you don’t value those,” Trentworth added with a teasing smile. “I told Eliza I didn’t think a lady such as her would appeal to you, and that you were more than likely only being kind.”
Winston studied his friend with narrowed eyes, trying to determine how irritated he should be. “A lady such as her?”
“Well, she’s rather sweet, from what I’ve observed in my limited interactions with her. And she likes books. Clearly, she’s intelligent.”
Winston was insulted on Millicent’s behalf as well as his own. There was so much more to her than any of that, and to him, as well. “As I told Eliza yesterday, I do occasionally read more than the news sheet.”
“Good to know.” Trentworth nodded. “Is that a new habit? I don’t remember you mentioning it before.”
“It’s just that Millie is lovely on the inside, perhaps even more so than her exterior,” Eliza continued before Winston could respond. “You tend to favor ladies with looks rather than intelligence.”
It was on the tip of Winston’s tongue to say just how beautiful Millicent was. And yes, her beauty was due in part to her inner traits, which were ones he deeply admired. But he held back. Defending her would reveal just how attracted he was to her and that would never do. Not if he wanted to protect her.
“I don’t know her well enough to comment, I suppose,” Winston said as he leaned back in his chair, feigning a casual air.
“You seemed to enjoy her company at dinner the other night.” Eliza waited as if expecting him to agree.
“She was a pleasant dinner companion.” The meal had been nearly impossible to enjoy after their interlude on the stairs. He’d had difficulty hiding his attraction to her, especially when he hadn’t wanted to speak to anyone other than her. “Everyone appeared to enjoy themselves that evening. You are becoming quite the host and hostess.”
He waited to see if the compliment would distract them both from their mission of warning him away from Millicent.
Eliza’s pleased smile suggested his attempt was at least partially successful. “We enjoy entertaining.” She lifted a brow at her husband as if to remind him to agree.
“Yes, we do.” He shifted in his seat, leaving Winston to wonder if his friend truly agreed.
“What is the next event?” Winston asked, hoping to keep her attention away from him.
The couple visited for a time before Eliza scooted to the edge of the settee and glanced at her husband. “I suppose we should be going.”
“Indeed,” Trentworth agreed as they rose, along with Winston.
“I’m relieved to know you aren’t interested in Millie, Winston,” Eliza said as she kissed his cheek then patted his arm with sisterly affection. “While I like to think you are friends of a sort, I don’t know that you’d suit one another. You are just so...different.”
Winston nodded, ignoring the clutch in his chest. And whatever it was that lodged in his throat. Eliza was right. He and Millicent didn’t suit. He needed to remember that.
“How kind of you to call.” Millie strode across the drawing room to take Eliza’s outstretched hands that afternoon, touched that she had come by but also worried. Had her friend seen through the act Millie and Winston had given at the bookshop?
If Eliza had arrived a few minutes later, they wouldn’t have come upon one another. Unfortunately, she didn’t believe for a moment that Eliza would approve of their relationship, not that Millie and Winston had one.
Perhaps Eliza’s visit had nothing to do with him. Yet Millie held faint hope that was the case.
Luckily, Millie’s mother had yet to join them. Millie loved her mother, but her presence during visits like this one changed the course of the conversation.
As they settled into the chairs near the window, Eliza smiled. “I’m so pleased you were at home.”
The sun had yet to make an appearance, but Millie preferred to sit by the window regardless. The spot provided a pleasant view of the small garden and the street, not to mention better light to read or do needlework.
Eliza absently touched a gloved hand to the perfect curl that rested on her shoulder.
“You look especially lovely today, Eliza.” Millie released a quiet sigh of envy. Her friend was beautiful, but happiness made her even more so. Her confidence had slowly increased since her marriage to the Duke of Trentworth, and the pair were obviously devoted to one another.
“How kind.” Her eyes lit with appreciation. “Thank you.” Eliza leaned forward as if imparting a secret. “It has been a challenge to attempt to look the part of a duchess yet satisfy my preference for simple designs. But I don’t want to embarrass Philip.”
“You have no need to worry.” Millie would never have Eliza’s fashion sense, or her poise. With each day that passed, pushing Millie toward spinsterhood or a loveless match, her confidence withered a little more. Not even the interludes with Winston could change that when she feared they were only temporary.
“You are too sweet. I do hope you will take me aside if you feel I am making a misstep. With my aunt the only close relative to guide me, I worry whether I am doing the right thing.” She frowned, clearly concerned a mistake was possible.
Millie couldn’t imagine offering her friend advice on any topic, because Eliza was the sort of person Millie aspired to be. Kind, considerate, and...happy. Funny how that last bit felt the furthest out of reach.
“You have nothing to be concerned about. I promise.” Millie felt ridiculous to even think of offering a duchess suggestions, but she would pretend Eliza’s request was nothing out of the ordinary.
“Thank you. I know my true friends as they are few, but I count you and the other members of the literary league among them.” Eliza held her gaze, the warmth in her expression undeniable.
“I feel the same way.” A wave of pleasure rushed through Millie. She truly felt as if she could rely on the league members for anything. Almost.
As she watched Eliza, she realized this was her chance. She could confess her long-time feelings for Winston and ask for advice. Eliza knew her brother better than anyone else and could guide Millie to make the right bold move—or moves—going forward.
“Eliza, I wonder—”
Eliza held up a hand with a small smile. “Before we speak further, I must apologize.”
“Whatever for?”
Her friend closed her eyes briefly as if gathering her resolve. “If Winston has overstepped in any way, I am truly sorry.”
“Winston?” Millie’s entire body flushed. “No, he hasn’t. Why would you think that?”
Eliza shook her head and lifted a hand only to let it fall. “Something about the look in his eye yesterday in the bookshop made me think he might be giving you the wrong impression.”
“I’m sorry?” Millie wasn’t following the conversation, but a sinking sensation in her stomach suggested she wouldn’t like it.
“He is incorrigible at times. I don’t know a better way to describe it.”
“Oh?”
“It’s impossible to get him to take anything seriously. He avoids responsibility as if it were the plague. If anyone tells him to do something, he often goes out of his way to do the opposite.” She shook her head, her gaze focused on a carriage passing by on the street. “I wish I knew a way to convince him to become more involved in the estate.”
“How troubling.” Millie shifted in her seat, holding back the urge to come to his defense. After her conversation with him the previous day, she tended to think part of that was due to the steward. Had the man made a young Winston feel inept and perhaps even embarrassed him when Winston had tried to take the reins of management?
“It is beyond frustrating,” Eliza continued. “Our relatives write letters asking me to intervene or to bring things to his attention because he doesn’t respond to their requests.”
Millie’s heart ached for Winston. How did Eliza not see what was happening?
“At any rate, I didn’t want his behavior to upset you in any way.” Eliza smiled at her. “Ignore him as best you can, and he will soon turn his attention elsewhere.”
Not for a moment did Millie think she truly had his attention. The temporary interest he’d shown in her was nothing.
Wasn’t it?
Regardless, she could still attempt to keep that interest, and Eliza could be key in helping her. “Your brother is an interesting man,” Millie began.
“Hmm. I would’ve said irritating.” She waved a hand in the air. “Ignore me. I spoke with him this morning and didn’t get anywhere as usual. I’m not sure why I bother to try.”
“Perhaps he is still searching for his own path forward.”
Eliza frowned as she looked at her. “I don’t know. It’s been years since he inherited. If he hasn’t found it by now, I don’t know that he will.”
“I think he might.” Millie clamped her lips tight, realizing she shouldn’t have said that as it insinuated that they’d spoken on the subject.
“You do?” Eliza cocked her head to the side. “Did he say something to indicate he is considering changing his ways?”
“Not precisely. I just think he might be done looking outward for what he seeks and has started to look inward.” She nearly winced at the admission. Who was she to guess such a thing based on their brief conversations?
Her friend scoffed. “I wish I could agree. I haven’t seen any evidence of the sort. I keep pressing him to marry as I thought it might settle his restlessness and provide stability.”
Millie smothered a sigh, a wave of hurt washing over her. “He seems to intend to avoid marriage for as long as possible.”
“Yes.” She stared across the street, but her thoughts were clearly elsewhere. “Our parents were a poor example for us. As you know, there are several years between Winston and me, but we both witnessed their arguments. They were frequent and lengthy. The animosity made them, as well as us, miserable.”
“How difficult.” Millie couldn’t imagine it. Her parents were always civil to one another, at least in front of her. While there were times she felt tension between them, they never argued.
“It was. There were times we hid together to escape the fighting. I know it affected Winston as deeply as it did me if not more so. Father was a poor example for him to follow and did little to prepare him to inherit.”
“That must’ve made his life challenging when your parents died.” Millie reached to touch Eliza’s arm. “And yours as well, of course.”
Eliza squeezed Millie’s hand as if grateful for the support. “He didn’t know quite what to do with me and sent me off to live with one relative or another in the country. At the time, I felt terribly unwanted, but now I realize he was trying to do what was best for me.”
Millie’s heart ached for them both. “I can’t imagine what you endured.”
“I like to think we’ve formed a deeper bond since my return to London, though I don’t know if he would agree.” She smiled. “He is still rather annoyed with me for marrying his best friend.”
“All because of a simple favor,” Millie teased.
Eliza laughed as Millie had intended. “Quite. I can still hardly believe I found the courage to ask it of Philip or that he didn’t see through the ploy.”
“I prefer to think of it as a bold move rather than a ploy.”
“You’re right, it was.” Eliza’s expression sobered. “Have you given any thought to a bold move of your own? I had the impression that you also had a secret tendre of late.”
Millie clenched her fist, hiding it in the folds of her gown as tension gripped her. Did she take the chance and tell Eliza the truth? Would it jeopardize their friendship? Was there any purpose to telling her when she had already said Millie and Winston wouldn’t suit?
“I-I—” The air left Millie’s lungs in a slow sigh. She couldn’t bear it if Eliza didn’t think a bold move with Winston would work—or worse if Eliza felt sorry for her for even thinking she had a chance with him. “I don’t think doing something like that would be wise.”
“I understand. It is incredibly difficult to put oneself into such a precarious position. Trust me, I know. But I must ask what Phoebe has asked us from the beginning—are you willing to live with regret?”
No , she wanted to say. To yell it from the rooftops. The unrest simmering deep inside her demanded she act, even if she couldn’t bring herself to tell Eliza the truth.
What would come of it remained to be seen. But there had to be something more she could do to entice Winston and convince him that he couldn’t live without her. If only she knew what that was.