A Song of Death and Desire (The Sirens of Witches Cove)

16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

M y feet pound the dirt and rocks that cover the cave floor as I get the hell out of there. At the entrance of the cave, I pause for a fraction of a moment, sparing a glance behind me. A twinge of guilt enters my mind before I'm flooded with memories as they flash one by one, pressure increasing in my head with the onslaught. When did my world get this fucked up? I was just a normal guy with a normal life. Boring even. I got up each morning, went to work and then came home to Kelly. Occasionally I would see Tom or my sister Sienna. So, tell me how a simple day out fishing led me to standing in a cave with a siren making a bargain with a witch on my behalf? It's a shit show, an absolute colossal head fuck. And honestly, now that whatever magic was rotting my mind has been removed, I'm ready to be done with all of this, forget it ever happened and try to repair all the damage I have done to my life in the past couple of months.

Now that my memories have returned, I'm even more eager to get away from this cave and the monster, well monsters, within. Because that's what they are, both the witch and the siren, Kairi, are evil incarnate. I wasn’t sure about Kairi before but now I am certain. I was fooled by her innocent and vulnerable appearance.

I remember now. I remember the storm that day and the way their song enchanted us, forcing us to jump off the boat into the raging sea below without any conscious thought of the danger. I remember watching in horror as they tore into the flesh of my friends, staining the water red. They are murderers. Vicious, monstrous, murderers. A part of me recognizes that she has been trying to help me and that perhaps I should be grateful but I shove that part right down. I refuse to get myself killed by getting all tangled up with an enchantress. I now have a clear picture of what Kairi looks like in her siren form, and I realize that her beautiful, goddess-like human appearance is just another way to lure in her prey. After all, the deadliest creatures are always the most beautiful.

I'm shaking with anger. If I weren’t so exhausted, I would punch something. I need to feel the pain of split knuckles and bruised skin. I need to hurt. I need to feel something other than this relentless storm of emotions that keep changing by the minute. I am not usually an emotional person, falling on the side of apathy, so I am completely unaccustomed to feeling this much. It's like I am going to explode.

Many of my arguments with Kelly were her telling me that I “don’t seem to give a shit.” It never mattered how often I told her that I did care, she always felt unappreciated. Even going right back to my childhood, my father made it clear that emotions were not acceptable. Ever the stoic picture of masculinity, my father ensured that he had a son that portrayed the same image. I was not allowed to cry. Even loud outbursts of anger were frowned upon.

“Boys don’t cry, son,” he would tell me. “We must always appear strong and not allow anyone to see our weaknesses.” My sister, Sienna, was never given the same lessons because, of course, women are allowed to show their weakness. It is not expected that they will be strong. Look, I have evolved enough to know that my father’s lessons were bullshit. I do believe that anyone should be allowed to experience and show their emotions, but his lessons are so heavily ingrained in my psyche that I can’t seem to break away from his words.

As the adrenaline begins to leave my system, I am reminded of just how exhausted I am. I slowly sink down to sit on a large rock outside the cave, not ready to start my ascent back up the cliff face just yet. I rest my head in my hands and once again try to focus on slowing down my breathing. I try to sort out my mess of thoughts and plan my next steps.

“Oh, fuckety fuck!” The noise of Kairi stumbling out of the cave, clearly having tripped, startles me out of my deep contemplation. I look up but she doesn't meet my eyes, instead looking quizzically down at her upper arm which has a deep red trail of blood. A pang of concern quickly seizes my chest, but I push that feeling way, way down. She doesn't deserve my concern.

“This is strange. I don't usually bleed red,” she murmurs, to herself. Just another reminder of the abomination she is. I shuffle slightly and my movement captures her attention, and I see her eyes fill with hope.

“Oh shit! You're still here. I thought you had gone and left me. Well, you did leave me in there. Kind of a dick move don't you think? But I definitely didn't expect you to still be here.”

“I'm leaving. I just needed to catch my breath before the climb. I don't want to see you again. I remember everything that happened now. You murdered my friends. In cold blood, you made us jump off the boat and then you and the others ate them.” I shudder, feeling nauseated at the thought.

At least she has the good sense to look remorseful. Her face flushes and for a split second I can't help but notice how pretty the pink tinge on her cheeks is.

“I'm sorry,” she replies softly. “It's how we survive. We have no other choice.”

I scoff, “really? So, you just go around killing and eating people and their souls—what the fuck is up with that by the way? And you want me to believe it's because you have no choice?”

She lifts her eyes to meet mine and there is some defiance staring back at me. She's a fascinating creature. Sometimes she appears meek and fragile, but other times I witness a stronger side, some ferocity. Her conflicting actions towards me are a replica of my own hot and cold emotions. God this is so messed up.

“Do you get angry at the spider for consuming the fly? Or the cat for killing the bird? We do what we have to do to survive. We didn't ask to be born like this, having to consume the souls of humans just to survive. We are born to be apex predators of the sea and that's how we live. I'm sorry for how my actions affected you but I've done everything in my power to make things right ever since.” Her chest heaves with the effort it takes to get out that speech. I can't lie and say I'm not intrigued but I have made a decision and I'm going to stick to it. I'm done with magic and mythical creatures.

“Do you… do you have any money?” I ask, suddenly realizing the possible repercussions of her becoming fully human and then subsequently it occurs to me that that was stupid question.

“Wha— oh no. I don't have anything. I've never needed anything on land before.”

I sigh and run my hands over my face. “We are going to climb back up this bloody cliff, I'm going to give you some money, so you don't die of starvation and then I never want to see you again, okay? You’ll have to figure things out on your own. I don’t owe you anything.”

“Okay,” she whispers in reply.

We climb back up from the cave not uttering a single word to each other, the ascent easier than the descent. I know this is the right decision for me but why does abandoning her feel so wrong?