Chapter 8 Sam
EIGHT
Sam
Checking to make sure Toby was in the basement playing his video games, I clapped my hands together. “Okay, let’s see what you got.”
Mattie grinned and placed four large bags on the table. “This was fun. I haven’t shopped for a kid in…well, I guess forever.”
“Whoa, this looks like more than I put on the list.” I peered into the bags. “I gave you a price limit.” Money wasn’t a huge issue, but I wasn’t made of millions. Plus, I didn’t want Toby thinking he’d always get everything on his wish list.
Mattie shrugged and held his thumb and finger apart about half an inch. “I only went over a bit.” He wrinkled his nose and blushed. “And anything over can be considered from me.”
I rolled my eyes, but sighed and pulled him close. “I thought the gift from us together was going to be his sleepover. You can’t back out now, I need you here if I’m going to survive four teen boys hopped up on sugar and adrenaline.”
“I’ve gotchu,” Mattie said with a grin. ”Let’s look through these before he comes upstairs. I want to get things returned if they’re wrong.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “He won’t emerge from his man cave until he smells food.”
“Gee, I wonder where he learned to pour himself into his work and not take a break for hours?” Mattie teased. I gave him a pointed look and he flushed. “Oh, right. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“Mmhm, that’s what I thought.”
The gifts Mattie bought were perfect, and I thanked him profusely with a long, slow kiss.
“Mmm, maybe I should go shopping for you more often,” Mattie said, his arms wrapping me in a hug as he pressed our bodies together.
“You saved my ass,” I said. “Thank you.”
“I happen to be very fond of your ass, so I had ulterior motives.”
After dinner, Toby helped with the dishes before retreating to his room for a video chat with Tabby and finishing homework.
While I packed Toby’s lunches for the week, Mattie scrolled through the single dads’ forum on my laptop.
“Ohh, this one should be good,” he said. “One of the mods made a pinned post. ‘What’s the hardest part of parenting so far? If you’re comfortable, share your child/children’s ages with your answers.’” He read quietly for a moment then started sharing some of them with me.
Dad I am: My son is 14 and I’d like to think we’ve gotten over the hard parts.
I was only 17 when my girlfriend at the time told me the news.
I wasn’t prepared to be a dad, but we did the best we could.
Even got married and tried to make it work for a few years, but that fizzled out.
We finally divorced three years ago after being separated for a bit.
Now I’m juggling being a single dad and trying not to burn out from work.
DiamondDaddy: I envy those of you already into teenage years with your children.
My son was just born, and I am already finding that the hardest part is balance.
How do I, someone who had always planned to stay a confirmed bachelor and who is a self-proclaimed workaholic, balance my time without losing, well.
.. ME in the process? I had an absent father, and I don't want to be that for my son.
I want to be THERE. But staying true to myself and being a present parent is more difficult than I anticipated.
There never seems to be enough hours in the day.
Some of the answers took me back to Toby as an infant. A few of the answers sent dread coursing through me.
“What would your answer be? I can type it for you.”
I thought for a moment before saying, “I’d likely say something like, ‘My nephew is 14. (His mom is my twin sister, and she’s deployed for 6-12 months at a time.
When she’s gone, I’m a dad and uncle all rolled into one.) So far, the hardest has just been doing it all alone when his mom is gone.
I know I’m lucky that she’s home for long stretches of time too, and not everyone has that break.
I never planned to be a parent, and this shit is scary.
Looking back, I think the times he was sick were probably when I felt the most helpless.
Watching him go off to school was the very definition of bittersweet.
Not sure how I’m going to handle him getting his license in the next couple years.
Excuse me while I go bury my head in the sand for a bit. ’”
Mattie typed as I spoke, but when he reached the end, he looked at me with wide eyes. “Oh my god, I hadn’t even thought about watching him drive off in a car. And moving away for college? Shit.”
“Okay, enough depressing shit,” I said with a chuckle. “Let’s just enjoy the time we’ve got.” While I loved the thought of Mattie and I watching Toby progress through his teen years together, I didn’t have the heart to think about my kid being grown and on his own.
At least not right then.
“I don’t know why Darcy thinks we both need to show this guy around,” I grumbled. “We still have a deadline looming.”
“Christmas is in a week,” Mattie said.
As if that fact would console me.
“Which means the deadline is less than a week.”
“Darcy said this guy is doing stories on all four Evergreen County towns. He thinks we’d be best to show him around as a team.”
It made sense. Mattie and I had been the ones gathering all the info for the new website. We’d been the ones to come up with the gingerbread house contest—thanks to Toby. Aside from Darcy, we were probably the best to show this reporter around and try to sell Sugar Pine to his audience.
But a mayor I was not, and all I could think about was the deadline. I worked well with a deadline usually. This one was just way too close. Sighing, I said, “Fine, but we’re giving him quick and easy.”
Mattie wagged his brow. “Sounds fun.”
When we met up with Rafe, my heart sank. He was absolutely gorgeous.
Great body, great smile, charismatic.
And he definitely had eyes for Mattie.
But Rafe kept things professional throughout our little tour of Sugar Pine, asking questions, making comments, taking notes.
At our last stop near the mayor’s office, I paused to check a text from Toby. When I caught up with Mattie and Rafe, I heard the reporter ask Mattie out for drinks.
With my heart in my throat, I prepared to hear the worst.
“There’s one of my favorite people,” Darcy crowed, ripping me away from my eavesdropping.
“How’d the tour go? Did you wrap him around your little pinky and promise him whatever he wanted if he made Sugar Pine out to be the best town in Evergreen County?
” The little man beamed, his eyes bright with mischief.
Pretty sure Mattie is promising him whatever he wants right now. The thought stabbed at my heart, but I cleared my throat and offered what I hoped was a convincing smile. “He seemed to like what he saw.”
“Good, good,” Darcy said, rubbing his hands together. “I knew you boys were the perfect team to show him around. Now we just need to meet that deadline and get that grant.” He elbowed me good-naturedly.
As if I needed a reminder of the deadline.
The thought of working on the website over the next few days while imagining Mattie with Rafe had me ready to toss my Christmas cookies.