A Thousand Cuts (Cursebreakers, Inc. #3)

5. Liam

Chapter 5

Liam

“ H ow about we step into my office?” Fix said calmly.

Liam wanted to scream. Well, more than he already had, anyway.

What business did the cursebreaker have looking the way he did when all Liam wanted was to hate his guts? He had no right having arms that strong, or a chest that looked just wide enough for Liam to curl up against. There was no reason for his eyes to be so kind as they held Liam captive.

“I’m not gonna step anywhere,” he spat in frustration, trying to keep all his anger at the surface so he wouldn’t show Fix just how much he affected him. “I told you what I wanted and you…what? Decided you know what’s best and did it anyway?”

“I wanted to help,” Fix said, and no. Absolutely not. Liam was not letting that earnest voice and the safety he felt next to the cursebreaker sway him. He was angry. He had the right to be angry and no amount of the calm Fix exuded would help.

“Well, you didn’t,” Liam forced himself to snap before turning to the beautifully made-up blonde woman sitting behind the large reception desk. “Do you take credit cards?”

It would be a huge hit to his finances. He was dreading paying the debt off, but he would be damned if he’d let himself owe something to another person. He could add a few more streams to his usual schedule to try and make up for it. And there were fights announced back-to-back that he could attend with some higher paying clients, even if that was the last thing he wanted to do. He’d be fine. He’d always made it work somehow.

“We do…” the woman said at the same time as Fix said, “No, we don’t.”

Liam angled himself so his back was to the cursebreaker, fear making him stiff but spite forcing him to endure.

He didn’t like turning his back on people Fix’s size. He knew Fix wouldn’t hurt him, but the instinct was still there.

“Here.”

He pulled his credit card out and held it out to the woman.

“Taylor, do not take that,” Fix commanded.

Liam felt his hackles rise, even as his knees went weak.

“There were four curses broken at my apartment today,” Liam said to the woman, Taylor, shaking his card at her and willing her to take it. Desperate to just be away from the man who made the ground beneath him shake.

Fix wasn’t dangerous, but he was unsafe for Liam. For his sanity. His heart.

“Liam,” Fix said, and Liam could hear the warning underlying the firmness of that single word. It felt like he wasn’t going to get another one.

The hand with Liam’s card in it trembled, his body begging him to obey, but he flexed his meager muscles and kept it up. “Charge it.”

It was clear defiance, and he felt Fix react in the tiny hairs that stood up on his arms. In the disappointment he could feel like weights pressing down on his back.

Taylor looked between them like she could actually see the tension thickening the air before mercifully, she took the plastic.

A large hand grabbed it from her in the next second.

Liam looked up to meet Fix’s darkened eyes already staring down at him, his open, handsome face now an impenetrable mask. Liam trembled with emotion, with no outlet other than anger.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he demanded, reaching out to snatch the card back.

Fix caught his wrist easily and held it up, the movement making Liam stumble into his chest. He caught his breath, sandalwood and musk flooding his senses, heavy breaths hitting his upturned face as Fix lowered his head until their faces were a whisper apart.

“Let me explain,” Fix said, his chest rumbling against Liam’s and making him shiver.

“This better be good,” Liam bit out as Fix started walking them toward, presumably, his office. “Might give you a chance to practice your story for the police. I’ll even give you tips on the parts that make you sound the most insane.”

He was rambling. He did that when he felt out of his depth. He walked after Fix into his office and tugged his hand away from Fix the moment the door closed behind them. He tried glaring. Based on Fix’s kind look, he failed.

“Sit.” Fix pointed to the chair tucked next to his desk and took his own seat on the other side.

“I’m fine standing,” Liam said, even as his knees buckled under pressure.

He wanted to please. He was mortified to realize he wanted to follow Fix’s direction and make him smile. Fuck that. As if that EVER ended well for him.

“I’d rather you be comfortable while we talk,” Fix said. “So please, have a seat.”

Liam walked to the chair and held eye contact as he perched himself on the armrest. There. He was sitting. Kinda. Fix chuckled at the move, and it absolutely didn’t make Liam want to melt.

“Well?” Liam said when Fix made no move to start explaining. “You broke into my home. Take it from here.”

“I didn’t break into your home,” Fix said.

Liam scowled. “Did you squeeze through the keyhole? Phase through the walls?”

“No.” Fix huffed another small laugh, like he was amused by Liam and couldn’t help it. “I definitely entered your home without permission, but legally, it’s not a break-in.”

“Yeah, see, I wouldn’t say that to the police,” Liam said, fuming.

“Cursebreakers are legally allowed to enter homes without express permission to break curses that could be a danger to people.”

“Sure you are.”

He watched Fix pull out a dusty tome, leatherbound and other than the dust, looking brand new. He placed it on the table in front of Liam and motioned toward it.

“Page sixty-four,” he said. “Section fourteen, paragraph nine.”

Liam found himself reaching for the book and flipping the pages, getting to the right spot and reading the dry, boring legal jargon. Dry, maybe. But in support of what Fix was saying.

“Fine.” He slammed the book closed, ignoring the small cloud it created. “I guess you’re legally in the right. That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Fix said seriously, no longer laughing at all. “And I am sorry for crossing your personal boundaries. Again.”

“Why did you, then?” Liam asked, curiosity winning out over indignation.

“Because I’m a cursebreaker.” Fix’s blue eyes held an ocean of heartfelt earnestness. “It’s my job to keep people free of curses. I couldn’t just leave and never think of it again. I can’t work that way. I’m sorry. It would be easier if I could.”

Liam traced his gaze over Fix’s face, trying to find his way to the hidden meanings in those words. They were so full, but Liam didn’t know the cipher to work them out. He didn’t know Fix. He ignored the voice whispering that he wanted to.

“Do you have a savior complex or something?”

Fix burst out laughing, raising a hand to cover his eyes before lowering it again to reveal something much more wry. “Not exactly. But cursebreakers aren’t exactly normal, functioning members of society.”

“I don’t think that’s exclusive to cursebreakers,” Liam mumbled, thinking of his own questionable past and present.

“We might have something in common then.”

It was a line. Liam wasn’t stupid enough not to recognize flirting. The way he reacted to it, however, made him want to run from the room in panic.

“I’m not going to pay you by sleeping with you.”

It came out whip sharp, and Fix recoiled like it had physically hit him. “I would never leverage your safety like that. Never.”

“So you don’t want to sleep with me?”

Fix couldn’t hold eye contact, and Liam felt both vindicated and disappointed in equal measures. He wanted Fix to find him attractive, more than he wanted to admit to himself, but that feeling was so tangled up with every toxic relationship he’d ever had. The power dynamics and head games made him spin out of control.

“I can’t say this cursebreaking was purely professional,” Fix admitted. Liam watched him draw his massive shoulders back before capturing his gaze. Liam couldn’t look away. “I’m attracted to you, yes. I think you’re beautiful, yes. I would like to know you better, yes. But I would have broken those curses for any other client and not taken a slate. Please believe that.”

He did believe it, but that wasn’t why Liam was licking suddenly dry lips, his heart racing so fast he was sure it was about to do laps around the room.

“What I want from you could never be forced,” Fix finished softly, too soulful, too honest.

“What do you want?” Liam whispered, even though he shouldn’t.

“To spend time with you and take care of you, to make sure you’re safe and happy and protected. I want to find a way to make your life easier. To make living it simple and as carefree as possible.”

It was like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water right over his head. He knew what those words meant. He’d heard them before. Flashes of bruises and slurs thrown his way ran through his head.

“This conversation is over.”

Fix winced, contrition and regret tightening the planes of his face. “Wait… I didn’t mean to…”

“I’m not interested.” Liam cut him off, hoping he didn’t sound like a liar. Hoping it came across convincing enough. “Not in fulfilling your fantasies, not in having my home invaded. We’re done.”

Fix nodded stiffly. “Okay.”

Liam told himself it wasn’t hurt flashing across that handsome face.

“Okay,” he echoed Fix shakily, turning to leave and feeling eyes on his back the entire way.

“Liam?” Fix called after him. Liam paused but didn’t turn back around. “Just do one thing for me before you go. There are business cards on Taylor’s desk. Please take one.”

“I don’t need it.” Liam drew his shoulders up to his ears.

“You don’t have to use it,” Fix said. “But…just in case.”

Liam closed his eyes for a moment, refusing to give in to the urge to turn and hide in Fix’s arms. To give in to what his heart wanted, what Fix was offering.

He gave a short nod and power walked out of Fix’s office.

He debated with himself as he headed down the hallway into the foyer, but even as he tried to convince himself not to, his hand reached out and snagged a business card from a rack with Fix’s name on it.

Taylor smiled at him knowingly. He glared before storming off.

His mind was racing and his heart was still beating way too loudly for it to be healthy as he strode home. He was pretty sure he was going to pass out or have a heart attack, which was just great.

He didn’t stop until he was safe inside his apartment, curled up in his bed and closing his eyes against the torrent of emotions inside him.

There was so much.

Fear of what he was feeling for someone he barely knew. Disappointment that he couldn’t ignore his past and give Fix a chance. Relief because that meant his walls were still holding strong and not crumbling at the first kindness someone showed him. Regret that he’d built them so strong they wouldn’t budge even when he kinda wanted them to.

He was drowning.

He felt a push against his arms and a soft ruff.

King.

He lifted his head and stretched out his arm until his dog hopped up onto his bed, squeezing in tight next to Liam and licking his tears away. He was soothing him. Calming him. Making him feel like he wasn’t alone. Liam hugged him closer, burying his face in King’s neck and breathing in deep.

“You got my back, don’t you?” he whispered, and King vocalized softly, like he was trying to whisper too. “Thank you.”

Liam pressed himself against his dog and evened out his breathing until he felt his body relax and unwind. He had learned long ago to compartmentalize and move on from things that made him anxious.

Especially those he knew he couldn’t change.

“It’s okay,” he whispered to King. “I’m good now.”

King huffed and raised his head to look at Liam as if to ask “what are we doing now?”

“How about some lunch and then we can go to the park?” Liam asked, and King, flying on the wings of his two favorite words, launched himself out of bed and rushed toward the kitchen.

Liam followed after him, pulling things out to make something to eat for them both. Did he cook for King every day? Yes. Did he care that he was spoiling him? Not even a little bit. King had lived a shit life and Liam was determined to make the rest of it as good as it could be.

Making lunch was easier than anything he’d done in a long time. His apartment was curse-free, and he realized he walked a bit easier, breathed a little freer. There was a lack of tension in his spine and he felt like he could turn corners in his own home without being ambushed by whatever random object decided it hated him that day.

It was nice.

It felt like a little vacation from reality, and even the fact that he had Fix to thank for it couldn’t ruin it for him. It was the first and last kindness he’d take from the cursebreaker. A sliver of something good done for him by someone he maybe, for a split second, allowed himself to like. It would be enough, he felt. It would have to last him a while.

He ate with King in calm silence and put the washed dishes away after. He worked on his latest costume for a while. He had no idea what he’d use it for yet, but he wanted to have it just in case. He made himself busy just to avoid thinking about Fix. It wasn’t working the way he wanted it to, but it made him feel like he was trying, at least.

A knock broke his focus on embroidering the details onto his costume and made King jump up in alert.

He trailed after Liam into the hallway and pushed in front of him to inspect once the door was open. There was nobody there, but a large flower box sat on his doormat. The box was pale lavender with white stripes, and the flowers inside it were a firework of colors and shapes. It was stunning.

Liam’s heart refused to listen to reason as Fix’s large frame came to mind. His kind eyes and warm smile. Wildflowers were Liam’s favorite, and Fix had looked into him. While he was terrified of the implications of Fix digging into his past, Cane could have told him the information.

He picked up the small card tucked between the flowers and flipped it open.

Flowers for the prince. You light up my world.

Liam frowned.

That didn’t sound like Fix at all. He couldn’t have said how he knew that, but he did.

King pushed his nose against his leg, stretching his neck up to sniff at the flowers. Liam lowered the box and the dog dove into it, sneezing at the scent before growling at the box. He eyed it with suspicion, stepped back from it before barking loudly, the sound echoing down the empty stairwell.

“Quiet, King,” Liam said, ordering the dog back inside the apartment, taking the flowers with him.

The disappointment settled low in his stomach but he ignored it. He was an idiot.

He tripped on the edge of his carpet. Took another step then tripped again. And it didn’t feel like it was the carpet. Or him.

The familiar chill rushed over his skin and he swallowed the tears that threatened to escape. He shifted the flowers in his hand and King barked at them again.

“King,” Liam warned, but the dog didn’t want to be told. He nudged against Liam’s legs and pushed him back into the living room.

The lights started flickering, and then a loud pop sounded before they went completely out.

They were back.

The curses were back. He hadn’t even gotten a day of rest from them after what Fix had done.

He sighed and hung his head before walking through the dim room to his small kitchen. He placed the flowers on the counter, not even trying to get King to stop hopping up to get at them. He did not like that gift at all.

Liam picked his costume back up to continue working on it. Each thread he tried tangled and snapped the moment it touched the fabric. He unraveled the designs over and over again, but he couldn’t get them right. They wouldn’t come out right no matter how many times he tried.

Eventually he shook his head in defeat, getting up and standing in the middle of his small apartment, feeling like he’d go out of his mind.

He needed something, anything to take his mind off of things.

His hair fell into his eyes and he pushed it back, only for it to return a second later. He tucked it behind his ear but it didn’t help. He blew it away, held it back, tried braiding it, but whatever he did, it kept falling back into his face.

He started to feel itchy with it.

Overstimulated.

He rubbed at his face trying to get it off, then ran to his bathroom to find a hair tie. He tried one but it snapped when it touched his hair. He tried another. A claw clip. A bobby pin.

None of it worked.

None of it would stay.

It was hair in his face and it was making him itch and he wanted it gone. He wanted to run away from his own hair and the thought made him snap.

“Walk, King,” he said when he thought he’d jump out of his own skin. “Let’s go for a walk.”

King finally left the flowers alone, the promise of going to the park overruling whatever issue he had with them. Liam picked up his harness and leash, buckling him up while blowing his hair out of his face over and over and over again.

He hoped it was windy outside.

He turned the key and pushed the door, but nothing happened. He tried again but nothing changed.

He pulled, and pulled, but it wouldn’t budge. King was barking like mad next to him, scratching at the door. And that finally made the panic flare.

He was trapped.

He couldn’t get out.

Then the lights started flickering again.

His hair was in his face and he was itchy and he wanted to run but he was stuck.

The walls around him started spinning. He was losing a battle with reality and he didn’t know what else to do but scramble for his phone and the card in his pocket, dialing a number he shouldn’t even have.

He listened to it ring once and the sound snapped him out of it almost enough to hang up, but he wasn’t fast enough.

“Hello?” a deep, gentle voice answered.

“Fix,” he gasped.

“Liam?” Fix said, worried and warm and safe, and Liam held the phone to his ear with both hands, sliding down against the wall. “Liam, are you okay?”

“Need you…” he whispered.