A Thousand Cuts (Cursebreakers, Inc. #3)

23. Liam

Chapter 23

Liam

H e’d always thought dying would hurt. Everything else was a struggle in his life. An uphill battle he just had to endure somehow. So it made sense that dying would be like that too, Death dragging him away kicking and screaming from Fix and King. The only two things he felt truly belonged to him.

Instead, it was softness under his cheek.

Warmth on the back of his hand.

Comforting weight settled on his legs.

“And you didn’t know he was a caster?” someone asked.

Liam tried opening his eyes, but it was like his entire body was detached from his brain. He couldn’t get anything to move.

“No, I didn’t,” another voice said, and this one Liam recognized. Daddy. “And clearly neither did he.”

“How is that even possible?” Liam was pretty sure that was Hart.

“Seems to be a theme around here, lately.” Ash, maybe? Liam wasn’t sure.

His eyes still wouldn’t open. He tried calling out, but nothing came. The voices grew muffled, and before he could attempt to move again, something pulled him under where it was quiet and calm.

He came to again sometime later. Phased into semi consciousness, disoriented and feeling scared for some reason. He couldn’t recall why.

There were voices around him again. Some he knew, some that sounded unfamiliar. They were talking about him. He couldn’t really understand what was being said. He couldn’t hear Daddy.

His mind drifted, and before he knew it the voices had faded, and he was gone again.

“Mr. Undergrove, I find this extremely unprofessional.”

It was a female voice, clipped and chastising, that greeted him when he next floated to the surface of his consciousness.

It felt clearer this time. Maybe he’d break the surface and come up for real. He tried wiggling his toes. He wasn’t sure if it did anything, but it felt better than when he’d last tried.

“Avery, please. And I came as soon as I got the message,” Avery—apparently—said.

Liam had no idea who that was, and with increased awareness came fear. He didn’t know where he was. The room was filled with weird staticky noises and hushed voices.

“You came as soon as Midas texted you,” the woman said. “Yet we have called you several times with no answer.”

“It was the middle of the night,” Avery said.

“Curses don’t keep a regular sleep schedule. Your position requires you to be on call—”

“I wasn’t sleeping.” Avery cut her off. “I was harmonizing with the music boxes. After months we finally managed to find the perfect key.”

There was a pause as the woman took that batshit information in.

“Regardless of your activities, it doesn’t change the fact that you seem to think Midas is more worth your time than a call from Nexus. This isn’t the first time you’ve ignored calls or letters.”

Liam couldn’t make heads or tails of the conversation.

He knew Midas. That was the extent of it. It didn’t fully comfort him, but it at least felt like he wasn’t alone in a strange place. Where was Fix? Was he gone? He tried wiggling his toes again. He was so tired.

“Midas brings me items in urgent need of TLC. I can’t not answer,” Avery said with all the guilelessness of someone explaining he was helping helpless bunnies or puppies. But there was something else winding between the letters of Midas’s name in his mouth, soft and tender. “Nexus calls for more…unpleasant reasons.”

“Your retesting isn’t unpleasant,” the woman said, her voice pitched higher.

Liam flinched internally at the sound. He just wanted to open his eyes and see.

“It’s entirely unnecessary.”

“You haven’t retested in years. It is completely necessary. By law.”

Liam pushed himself harder. He sent all his wishes and strength into his eyelids to pry them open.

“It hasn’t been that long,” Avery mumbled.

“There are protocols in place for a reason. You can’t just—”

“Gwen.” Another voice joined over the sounds of many footsteps, deep and rumbling and warming Liam to the core.

Daddy.

“He’s waking up!” someone whispered, and then light hit Liam’s eyes, making him groan. He felt his face scrunch into a frown as he tried to avoid the glare.

When he blinked them open again, a room came into focus. Bland, nondescript, beige, and empty of everything but a few pieces of furniture and a barrage of people around the bed he was in.

Midas stood next to a man who looked vaguely familiar, but Liam couldn’t place, and there was a woman there Liam didn’t know—tall, blonde, dressed in a sharp black suit. Black was perched on a wide windowsill swinging his legs back and forth, kicking Ash in the knee and making him swat at his legs.

Hart was sitting in a chair, legs crossed and fingers twined in his lap, regal as ever. Wren was nowhere to be seen, but Liam realized King was lying across his legs, comforting and familiar and seemingly fine.

Liam reached out to feel for himself, unable to trust his own eyes. King pushed his head up into Liam’s hand with a whine of excitement, his ragged ear sliding between his fingers. A sheen of wetness covered his eyes. “My hero,” he whispered. “I’m so happy you’re okay. I don’t know what I would have done.”

A shadow fell over him and he glanced up. Disheveled hair met him, a cut on a cheek, a thick, two-toned beard, and the kindest eyes Liam had seen.

“D-daddy…” he croaked.

“I’m here, honey,” Fix said, voice broken but so, so gentle. “I’m right here.”

He took one of his hands and squeezed it, and Liam realized in that moment that the warmth he’d felt the entire time he’d been under was Fix holding his hand.

“Where am I?” Liam asked, focusing solely on Fix now that he had him in front of him. That was the only thing that kept him from freaking out.

“How much do you remember?”

Liam tried thinking back on the last few days. He remembered the half-assed plan to meet his stalker. He remembered Fix being angry at him for putting himself in danger. He remembered their talk and…

“You told me you loved me.”

Fix smiled that smile Liam loved the best. The gentle one that was just for him. The one that made him feel like he finally had a home.

He heard snickers from the people around them, but he didn’t really pay them much attention. His daddy was a much more important thing to focus on.

“I did,” Fix said, thumb stroking his knuckles tenderly. “And I do.”

Liam’s heart thundered in his chest. “That was real?”

“Yes, honey.”

“I love you too,” Liam said, the achy bits of him aching just a little bit less.

He tipped his head to the side, toward Fix, lashes fluttering when he got what he wanted instantly as Fix cradled his cheek in his warm palm.

“Fuck, I’m so glad you’re okay, honey.” Fix’s blue eyes were filled with so much it was spilling out everywhere.

Liam gasped when he leaned his forehead against Liam’s bed, shoulders shaking.

“I think we should give them some space,” Liam heard someone say, and everyone shuffled out of the room, leaving them alone.

Liam looked down and felt his own tears springing up at the sight of his strong, powerful man breaking down. He reached out and put his hand on Fix’s shoulder, feeling the trembling under his fingers.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, not knowing what to say. Not knowing how to comfort someone who was larger than life to Liam. Fix was strength. He was the pillar that held Liam’s life together, and seeing him like this broke his heart. He wanted to make it better. He wanted to take it away, but he didn’t know how. “Daddy, I’m sorry.”

Fix lifted his head and shook it, cupping Liam’s face in both hands and looking him in the eyes.

“It’s not your fault,” he said. “None of this is your fault. I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m the one who fucked up.”

“NO!” Liam said, eyes widening. “No, you did everything right. You saved me.”

“Not fast enough.” Fix’s voice broke. “You were fading in my arms and I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t know how to—”

“But you did. I’m…I’m still here.”

“Not all of you.” Fix’s eyes were still filled with misery. “Your magic is…”

Liam felt a chill wash over him at the words.

It hadn’t been just his imagination. He hadn’t been dreaming that he’d been the one making himself miserable for years.

“That was real too?” he asked quietly. “That I had magic? That I was doing it to myself?”

“I’m afraid so. It came from an emotional place as far as we can tell. Your curses intensified when you were feeling something intense. Fear, mostly, but good things too.”

“How could I have done this without knowing?” Liam asked, shaking his head. “I don’t understand, Fix. I thought…I thought I needed…tools and, and…things. That’s how casting works.”

“Tools and things are essential, yes,” Fix said, trying to ease the tension, but Liam could feel himself on the brink of a panic attack. “You were powerful enough to override that because you were never taught control. You were using everything around you to cast from. Everyday objects with magical properties. It’s why they were all nuisance curses and nothing else. Other curses require rare ingredients you didn’t have access to.”

“So…it’s just gonna keep happening?” Liam asked, his voice going high-pitched and breathy. “I’m just gonna keep doing this until I actually die?”

“No.” Fix grabbed his hands and steadied them in his lap. “I’m going to call Gwen in to explain all the details, but the gist of this is no, you are not dying. No, you will not be cursing yourself anymore. You are safe, Liam. Completely and absolutely safe.”

“But—”

“Do you trust me?”

Liam could feel how loaded the question was. Fix was blaming himself, torn by the fact that Liam had come so close to dying and questioning everything he thought he knew about himself.

“Yes, Daddy,” Liam said. “I trust you.”

He was rewarded by a slump of those broad shoulders and a smoothing of the crease between his thick brows. “I’ll call Gwen in. We have quite a bit to go over.”

Fix got up and called Gwen back into the room.

The blonde woman from before entered with him and approached Liam’s bed with an unreadable expression on her face. Liam pushed himself to sit up a little, edging back into the bed, not quite sure what to make of her.

King growled but didn’t move from his spot on his lap.

“Liam,” Fix said when they came to stand next to his bed, “this is Gwen, the headmistress of Nexus.”

“Hi,” he said quietly.

Her stoic face broke into a gentle smile. “Hello, Liam. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“I…I’m sorry for whatever drama I caused.”

“Not at all.” She shook her head. “Our job is to help people.”

“Thank you,” he murmured, embarrassment and anxiety crawling over his skin. “I just… I had no idea.”

“No, I don’t imagine you did, living the life you lived,” she said pointedly.

Liam gasped, too out of sorts to cover it up.

He turned terrified eyes to Fix, panic threatening to eat him alive. He was supposed to be the one to tell him. He was supposed to be honest and open with Fix and tell him all his secrets. He wasn’t supposed to find out like this.

“You know?” he asked.

Fix nodded, sitting back down into the chair and taking Liam’s hand.

“A lot of things came out last night. We know a lot more now than we did before. I…I know about your past. Well, the dry bones of it. I want to hear it from you, if and when you’re ready to tell me. I’m not angry or rethinking us. I still love you and want you just as much as I did before.”

“I was going to tell you,” Liam said hastily, eyes stinging and throat tight. “I swear I was trying to find the courage to let you know, but then everything kept happening and it never felt like the right time…and it was like I couldn’t pile another thing onto this mess, you know? It’s too much. I’m too much and I can’t just…”

“Hey.” Fix stopped his rant. “I don’t blame you. A lot has happened and we haven’t really had the time to get to everything. We will, though. We’ll have all the time in the world.”

“I want to tell you,” Liam said. “You know already, but I want to get it out so it’s not eating me up anymore.”

“I’ll listen,” Fix said. “I’ll always listen.”

Liam swallowed before looking at his lap.

“My mom was a good mom,” he said, because he wanted that out there first. He knew she’d be judged. He knew they’d try and tell him she was a horrible person, but those weren’t Liam’s memories. “She was sick. And she couldn’t always be…there. But when she could she was the best. She taught me how to sew and make little figurines out of fabric. She was talented. And creative. But she… As a kid I thought of it as switching off. It was like she’d be okay one day and then just…gone the next. Now I know she wasn’t healthy, but at the time I had no idea what it meant. She’d leave for a few days every now and again, but she’d always come back with a gift and a really exciting story of her adventures and I thought it was so cool she got to do all these things. But then one day she left and just…”

He shrugged his shoulders and looked at Fix.

“She didn’t come back?”

Liam shook his head, feeling as lost as he had back then. “I waited for so long. I waited until I ran out of food I could make myself and then I figured, I know where she goes based on the stories she told me. I could go find her and bring her home.”

“How old were you?” Fix asked.

“Around five, I think. So I went looking and then I got lost. I’d never learned my address and we didn’t have any family that would come looking for me. I was trying to find someone to help me when I ran into some people who said they could. They weren’t…great.”

“Oh, honey,” Fix said, lifting Liam’s hand to kiss it and keep it pressed to his cheek. It was comforting.

“It was fine when I was little, but then they wanted me to help them steal and deliver things.” Liam felt shame washing over him as he darted a glance at Gwen to see how she was taking it and if she’d immediately run to tell the authorities. She was stoic, showing no indication either way.

“I knew what I was doing wasn’t right, but I didn’t have a choice. As I got older, I started squirreling away any money I managed to get. I left when I was seventeen, found someone to make me fake documents, and started streaming. It picked up and I was able to rent a place to live and leave all of that behind like it never existed. And now I’m here.”

“It explains a lot,” Gwen said as Fix stroked his hand, offering comfort and support. “You were supposed to be tested at seven.”

“They never took me,” Liam said. “I guess because I didn’t have any documents or anything they couldn’t really waltz me in to have me tested. And I never showed any signs of having any sort of magical ability, so I never even thought to get tested as an adult. Well that and the…legality thing. I didn’t want to be found.”

“And your mother wasn’t a caster? Or anyone in her family?” Gwen pressed.

“Not as far as I know,” Liam said. “She was estranged from most of them other than one cousin she sometimes mentioned. I can’t remember his name or where he lived. But she never mentioned magic or anything.”

Gwen nodded, looking at him with an expression he still couldn’t read.

“Well,” she said, “like Fix mentioned, a lot of things came to light last night. First of all, you are definitely a caster. Decently leveled too. You tested at level four last night, but I imagine your initial power levels were above that before the drain.”

Liam stared at her in disbelief. “F-four? But how is that even possible? And what drain?”

“Here’s what we’ve managed to put together,” Gwen said. “Mind you, this is a first, so we might be wrong, but I don’t believe we are. Your power levels were initially at least a four. Since you’ve never been tested or taught, they manifested accidentally, mostly when you were in heightened emotional states. If you think back to your curses, most of them happened in clusters, followed by periods of calm. Is that right, would you say?”

He thought over all the years he’d spent running from them and yes, that sounded exactly right. An onslaught of them, and then a calm before the storm picked up again.

“Yes.”

“We think the Curse of a Thousand Curses isn’t what we initially believed it is,” she said. “We’re now pretty sure the known cases are of people just like you. Casters who didn’t know and kept cursing themselves until their magical core was completely drained.”

“Magical core?” Liam asked, feeling dumb at how little he knew.

“Every caster has a limited amount of magic at one time. That’s where the levels come from. Everyone is different. Some people store minimal amounts of magic and use it very rarely so it replenishes itself easily. Some have more of it. Use more of it. But they also need time in between to get it back to full strength. Casting back-to-back drains the magical core. Casting as often as you did completely vanishes it because it has no time to replenish itself. That’s what nearly…well…ended your life.”

“So I…drained my magic?” Liam asked, trying to make sense of it as best as he could. His head hurt and he just wanted to sleep in Fix’s arms until he felt better.

Gwen’s smile slipped at his question.

“I’m afraid you don’t even test at level one at the moment,” she said. “We can’t be completely sure, but we think your magical core won’t be able to restore itself.”

“So I’ll only be able to do a little magic, sometimes?” he asked.

This time it was Fix who answered, “No, honey. I’m sorry but…we don’t know how much is left. Since the instruments used to test caster levels don’t differentiate magical levels below one, as far as we know you could be a single cast away from dying.”

“You said I wouldn’t die,” Liam whispered.

“And you won’t.” Fix hurried to reassure him. “As long as you don’t cast, as long as you keep on living like a non-caster as you have so far, you’ll be okay.”

“But I can’t control this.” Liam’s voice took on that panicked tone again as he looked between them. “We wouldn’t be here if I could.”

“Avery, the man you saw with Midas,” Fix said. “He allowed us to borrow a magical dampener for now. It’s around your neck.”

Liam whipped his head down and noticed a thin rose gold chain around his neck. Hanging from it was a tiny amulet made of the same rose gold material. It was oval and intricately carved with symbols Liam didn’t know the meaning of.

“Magical dampeners like this one can temporarily lock tiny amounts of magic,” Gwen said. “Until you get a permanent solution.”

“Permanent?” Liam whispered.

“There are a few options,” Fix said. “We’ll go over them once you feel better and you can decide which one sounds best for you.”

“And then…I’ll just not have my magic anymore?” He didn’t know why, but it felt like he was mourning something he’d never even known he’d had.

He’d never learn to use magic. He’d never know what it felt like to intentionally do something with it. He’d never use it for anything good.

All it had done was make his life miserable and nearly kill him but…he knew it didn’t have to be that way, and he felt almost robbed of it.

“I’m sorry, honey,” Fix said. “It’s the only way to keep you safe.”

Liam knew that. Really, he did. It just didn’t sound fair.

“Yeah.” He nodded, but he knew Fix didn’t really buy the nonchalance. He knew they’d talk about it later and Liam would let him in on everything he was feeling. For now, his hand holding Liam’s was enough.

“There is one final piece of information we uncovered,” Gwen said, exchanging glances with Fix. “I’m hoping it’ll be more welcome.”

Liam looked at her and found her shifting slightly on her feet like she was nervous. It seemed completely at odds with the impression she’d given out so far.

“Magic has a signature,” she said. “Not once it’s out of your body, mind you, but during testing when you can see it. Familial bonds are quite obvious. Your magic, Liam…has the same signature mine does.”

“Wh-what does that mean?”

“Daniel Greeves,” she said, and Liam’s world flipped upside down.

The only thing keeping him from exploding the room into chaos was the necklace sitting at his collarbone. He could feel his magic writhing under the surface, trying to find a way to escape.

Fix squeezed his hand. “Liam, honey, take deep breaths.”

Liam tried his best to follow the instruction. They already knew his past, he told himself. The name was nothing now. But he’d hidden it for so long that his body was instinctively reacting to it being revealed.

“You don’t have to fear that name or the consequences anymore. I’ll make sure of it,” she said.

“Why?” he gasped.

“I did some digging while you were asleep and I believe your late mother was my niece. Or…grandniece if I’m tracking generations correctly. That would make me your great-great-aunt.”

“Oh my god.”

Family.

Distant and unfamiliar as it was, it sounded…

“You don’t have to do anything with that information if you don’t want to. I understand I’m a stranger to you. I’d like to get to know you, though. For more reasons than one, to be fair. Fix is the closest thing to a child I’ll ever have and someone he loves is important to me. But now, given everything…” She trailed off before restarting with a small shake of her head, crossing her hands in front of her. “Like I said, it’s completely up to you. Fix has my information. If you’re ever interested in having lunch and just chatting, let me know.”

Liam nodding jerkily, hardly able to control his own movements.

“There is just one more thing I’d like to ask you before I leave,” she said.

“What?”

“Your real name is on a very particular list. Do you happen to know anything about that?”

He felt Fix tense next to him, whipping his head around to look at Gwen.

“A list?” Liam asked in confusion.

Gwen smiled. “I thought as much. Given the fact you didn’t even know you had magic until yesterday.”

“Gwen…” Fix sounded serious.

“I’ll smooth it over with PUMA,” she told him. “They can hardly argue he had something to do with it, given the circumstances. You won’t be hearing from them, so you don’t have to worry.”

The steel in her voice left no room for doubt.

“They’ve all been high-level casters. What does it mean?” Fix asked.

“I fear it will continue to remain a mystery for now.” Gwen pressed her lips together tightly before nodding to Liam. “I’ll let Fix take you home now so you can get some proper rest.”

She turned and headed toward the door, and Liam felt like he’d break in half.

“I want to!” he called after her.

She turned back. “Hm?”

He felt himself blush. “Get to know you. Family would be nice.”

“It really would.” She gave him a warm smile. “Recover. Fix knows where to find me once you’re all better.”

“Okay,” he said, and she left the room, a small smile visible in the corner of her lips.

“I have family,” Liam said, turning to look at Fix.

Fix smiled at him. “You already did. You have me and King, and the rest of the team. But Gwen being your blood family is incredible, honey.”

“Can we go home now?”

“Yeah, we can go home.”

Neither of them commented on the fact that home meant wherever Fix was.

Fix helped him get dressed and held him gently around the waist as they left Nexus with King at their side. Their steps echoed around the empty hallways, and Liam wished he was in a better state of mind to take it all in. The magic dampener was heavy around his neck, and Liam felt it warm against his skin. He touched it gently and looked up at Fix.

“Is this safe?”

“I wouldn’t risk you,” he said, making Liam warm all over. “I wouldn’t even think of walking you out of here if I thought there was a risk, honey.”

He stopped them and cupped Liam’s cheeks in his warm hands. Liam closed his eyes, nuzzling slightly. He felt Fix’s breath on his lips before the kiss landed. He sighed into it, relaxing and letting Fix hold him up. He returned the kiss, reveling in the softness of it. In the love pouring from it.

He could hardly believe this was his now. That he got to have Fix. No secrets between them. No stalkers and no curses. Just them, their love, and the monumental potential it held.

“Let’s go,” Fix said, breaking the kiss.

Walking through the door of the cursebreaker house was weirdly comforting.

Curses and horrible things had happened to him here as well as at his apartment, but this place felt different. The walls were full of love and he instantly felt at ease.

Fix paused with him in the entryway, taking his hands in his.

“So your real name is Daniel,” Fix said out of nowhere.

Liam startled at the sound of it again, but he tamped down the fear. “Was.”

“Do you want to go back to that?” Fix asked, looking into his eyes. “I can call you whatever you want.”

Liam bit his lip, watching Fix through his lashes. “I picked Liam because it sounded pretty. I never had any attachment to it other than hiding my original name. But…I met you as Liam. I found my place as Liam. I became yours as Liam. I want to keep that. It has meaning now. You gave it one.”

“Oh, honey.” Fix kissed his lips, holding him as close as he could. Liam would never get tired of how it felt to be kissed and held by his daddy. “Everything about you has always had meaning.”

“We choose the meaning for ourselves with our names.”

Fix smiled and nodded. “Yes.”

“I love you, Daddy,” Liam said, resting his forehead against Fix’s collarbone.

“I love you more than anything.”

“And we love you both, but we’re hungry so PLEASE, make us food,” Black yelled from inside the house and Liam felt Fix’s rumbling laugh under his head.

“I still don’t like him.” Liam looked up.

“He is an acquired taste,” Fix said, leading Liam inside the house.

And for all that he said he didn’t like him, he still gave Black a huge hug once he walked in.

Because like it or not, Liam had a family now.