Chapter 32
Dinner was awkward.So awkward that even Ellie’s best cottage pie couldn’t save it.
After the shock of Victoria’s revelations, Ellie had herded them all into the house and made tea. It had seemed like the most sensible next step while they figured out how to deal with Liam’s misery and Vic’s silent, mechanical behavior.
Ellie had taken them through to the living room and pretended that it was normal to tell her guests they couldn’t sit on the armchair—which she left free for Josh—and then for them to perch as far away from each other as humanly possible while sharing a sofa.
She’d made everyone hot drinks and tried to smile reassuringly at Josh, even though no one could see or hear him—except for Nissy, who decided to lie stretched out on the back of his chair, one paw on his shoulder, purring loudly. And then she’d called Constable Harrison, who thankfully was still on duty.
The constable listened carefully as she took Ellie’s statement—that Warren had been pushing for her to sell her game, that he had grown angry when she hadn’t, that he’d known she would be cycling that day, and that he had been in the village where the SUV was stolen—taking notes and asking questions.
It was exhausting, watching every word she said. Trying to ensure that her claims about Warren were taken seriously, but that she didn’t involve Vic any more than she had to, or incriminate Liam. Both of them looked withdrawn and ashamed enough without making it worse.
Josh had other ideas. He’d stood up and stalked over to hover beside Liam, glaring, while stridently suggesting fifty years of community service, and once she thought he might have muttered something about haunting his brother until the end of time.
Liam must have felt something uneasy in the air, because he looked behind himself more than once and eventually asked Vic to swap places with him.
And after all that, their evidence wasn’t anywhere near enough to arrest Warren. It was circumstantial at best. But Constable Harrison promised to get a detective involved immediately, and reminded Ellie that she could call her anytime.
“I’ll make a statement,” Liam offered quietly when Ellie put down the phone. “I’ll tell them what happened and hopefully it won’t be too bad.”
Josh muttered his agreement, while Ellie replied, “Thank you. I have an investigator lined up and I’ll call them in the morning. Waiting for a face-to-face meeting doesn’t make sense now. Maybe they can find something that helps. And if not… then yes. It might come to that. But I think it would be helpful to speak to a lawyer first.”
“Okay.” Liam dragged his hand down his face tiredly. “Whatever you need.”
Vic was utterly silent throughout, and she didn’t say anything while Ellie bustled around making up the spare bedrooms for her and Liam—by some unspoken agreement, it seemed that everyone was staying—she simply disappeared into her room and closed the door.
Ellie stared at the door uncertainly before finally giving up and going downstairs to warm up the pie.
It was too late for dinner, but no one had eaten. Everyone was exhausted and pale. And no one looked like they could sleep. It was hard to wrap her head around how much had happened in the few hours since she’d opened the dashcam video. And, in the end, she wanted everyone taken care of, even if it was just by eating something warm.
But damn, dinner was painful.
Victoria emerged from her room looking rumpled and red-eyed, sat at the end of the table as far away from everyone as she could get, and silently pushed her food around her plate. Her phone was conspicuously absent, and Ellie could only imagine Warren had been blowing it up for hours. Liam sat between Vic and Ellie, devouring the food as if he hadn’t seen a meal in days. While Josh sat on Ellie’s other side, with his hands linked behind his head and a vicious glare trained on Liam.
“So, Liam, Josh mentioned you trained as a sports physio,” Ellie said after a particularly torturous few minutes of listening to cutlery scrape along the porcelain. “Did you enjoy it?”
Liam finished chewing and put down his fork. “I did. I was really happy at uni.” He tilted his head to the side, smiling softly, as he remembered.
Josh grunted. “Of course you were happy. I was paying your fees while you were playing football and drinking beer.”
Ellie kept her focus on Liam. “Do you think you might go back to it now? Or do you like being a stock trader?” she asked.
“I like?—”
“Sitting around in your pajamas with your dick in your hands,” Josh grumbled.
Ellie glared at him and then turned back to Liam. “Sorry, what were you saying?”
“I liked the idea of making lots of money,” Liam admitted. “My friends who went into management were making much bigger salaries than I could earn.” He looked away. “I just wanted it to be easy. Easier, anyway. And”—he scraped his hand through his hair in a gesture that looked just like Josh—“I thought if I could make enough, I could help my mum more, you know? Maybe even pay my brother back. I thought I could go back to being a physio later.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “I also wanted a BMW.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle, and then when Josh turned his brooding glare on her, she snorted and had to look away, swallowing the urge to laugh at him.
“Josh said you loved that car,” she said sympathetically. Selling it was obviously a big step for Liam. And wanting to pay Josh back meant something too. Maybe he really would turn things around.
“Hmm.” Liam put down his knife and fork and leaned back, watching her. There was confusion in his gaze, but also intelligence as he eyed the chair beside her. “How exactly did you meet Josh?” he asked. “You said you met while cycling, but he’s been away for a long time. And he’s never said anything about you. In fact, the first time he went cycling after he came back to stay with mum was when…” He swallowed the rest of the sentence, but they all knew what he meant.
Ellie glanced at Josh uncertainly. How much should she try to explain? Liam looked even more suspicious, while Josh was back to looking a little stabby.
And then Vic looked up and made it worse. “Who even is Josh?”
“My brother,” Liam replied. But Victoria didn’t let it go. She pushed her plate away and focused directly on Ellie.
“No, who is Josh to you?”
God. There was no way she would deny him, especially after how vulnerable he’d looked, how bereft, when he’d said they had no future. Josh needed to know that she saw him. But what was she going to say? He’s my lover? He’s haunting me? I’m haunting him?
She looked across at Josh and told the truth. “We’re together.”
“Since when?” Vic demanded, at the same time as Liam frowned and said, “You haven’t visited him in the hospital even once.”
“I was at the hospital today,” Ellie argued weakly, but Liam wasn’t listening. “It’s been weeks,” he muttered, “you haven’t visited him at all.”
“Hey,” Victoria turned on him, high streaks of color burning on her pale cheeks. “She’s hardly left her house. She was in the same accident. An accident you helped cause.”
“I still think—” Liam started.
“That’s not important now.” Vic cut him off. Liam responded with a mocking laugh, and in seconds, they were sniping viciously at each other across the table. Both blaming the other for not stopping Warren, both claiming the other should have done more, seen more, cared more.
God, Ellie hated conflict.
Josh grunted and held out his hand. She took it without thinking and wrinkled her nose at him. “This is going well,” she murmured.
Josh shrugged. “Maybe we should put them on the naughty step?”
Just like that the tension that had been building in her fizzled out, and she giggled.
Which cut Liam off mid-tirade. He waved his hand pointedly toward her. “See, that. What the hell is that?”
Ellie guiltily moved their clasped hands onto Josh’s thigh.
“No. No.” Liam shook his head, a vein beating visibly in his throat. “It’s too late. You think I don’t know? You think I’m stupid, but I’m not.” He leaned forward, nostrils flaring. “I listened to all the old stories Mum used to tell. About her Celtic granddad who read the cards and was always uncannily accurate in his predictions. And her grand-aunt who knew the minute her son died on the battlefield because she spoke to him after he was dead.” His fists clenched on the surface of the table. “And I’ve been watching you talk to air since the moment we met.”
Josh’s eyes widened, the muscles in his jaw ticking in a way she hadn’t seen since he first started appearing. “I forgot about that,” he whispered. “I forgot about the cards and the soldier. I guess I thought they were just stories.”
He started to pull his hand away, but she held tight. The worry and distress rising in his eyes was too much to bear. She leaned into him, no longer caring what Liam and Vic saw. “I believe in you, Josh. You are real. This is just more proof.”
“No.” His voice rasped. “It means I’m dead… or as good as.”
No. That couldn’t be true. She wouldn’t let it. “You’re not dead. You’re in the hospital.” She turned to Liam. “Tell him he’s alive. Tell him!”
But Liam didn’t tell Josh anything. He stormed out of his chair and around the table, reaching out toward the space where Josh was sitting as if he would strangle him with his bare hands. “He is here! You’ve been here the whole time. You fucking bastard!”
Josh stood, and the chair fell back with a crash, which only seemed to incite Liam further. He thrashed through the air, hands stretched out toward where Josh had been, roaring, “How could you do this to me?”
Josh stepped out of Liam’s reach even as his brother flailed more wildly, his face going dangerously blank. “You did this, Liam.”
Liam turned the wrong way, still searching. “How could you? Fuck you, Josh! Fuck you!”
Josh clenched his fists, bringing them up in a fighter’s stance. But Ellie could see what Josh had missed: tears were streaming down Liam’s face.
She grabbed Josh’s arm, drawing his attention. “Wait, he’s hurting. Look at him.”
Josh growled, but his face was already softening, already taking on the protective air she recognized. “He’s… what?”
Liam turned, and they could all see his distress. “Why?” he asked brokenly. “Do you know how many hours I’ve spent sitting beside your bed—Mum too? Do you know how much we’ve cried?” He dragged in a sobbing half breath. “She asked me so many times if she would ever see you again. And I had to sit there. Knowing it was all my fault. Knowing you might be gone forever. And you never once… you never… you were here.”
Josh lurched back, stunned, and Ellie stood for a moment, torn between the two brothers. But then she stumbled forward—she could help them both, she could be their voice—and rested her hands on Liam’s arms, turning him to face her. “Josh didn’t know. He would have wanted to see you, but he didn’t know.”
Liam scraped a hand over his cheek, dashing away the tears. “I don’t understand.”
She shook her head. “I don’t either. But when he came here, he didn’t remember anything. We only figured out who he is today, and we started looking for you straight away.”
“But you didn’t tell me!” Liam sniffed, scrubbing at his damp cheeks.
Ellie snorted sadly. “How would that have gone? Hey, Liam, I’ve only known you for three seconds, but I think your friend tried to kill me… which you helped him with. I also know you broke into my house to steal the only thing I have of value. Oh, and by the way, I’m sleeping with your brother who is a… ghost? Maybe?”
Liam winced, but the tension in his frame softened slightly. “Okay, that’s fair, I guess.” He wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “He’s here? He’s with us now?”
“He’s with us,” Ellie agreed.
“Right,” Liam said shakily. “Right. Can I… Can you tell him I’m sorry?”
“I can hear you, arsehole,” Josh muttered. “It’s Ellie you should be down on your knees begging for forgiveness, not me.”
Ellie huffed an amused breath. “He can hear you, Liam. Just speak to him, and I’ll tell you what he says. He’s standing next to me.”
Liam stared intently at a spot at her side—the opposite side to where Josh was standing—which made Josh growl and Ellie want to laugh hysterically. She took pity on them both and told Liam where Josh was, then wrapped her arm around his waist, linking her fingers into his belt. It probably looked bizarre, but she was fine with it.
“I’m sorry, Josh,” Liam said earnestly. “I’m going to do better, I promise. You remember that time I ran away from home? Mum was working such long hours, and I guess you were busy. When I think about it now, you were sixteen years old, working hard at school and carrying two part-time jobs to help with the bills. But I was eleven, and I hated being alone, and I wanted you to pay me some attention.” Liam gave a small, wry smile. “You realized I was gone pretty quickly, and you came looking for me. You found me down at the bus station buying a ticket. I was going to London to look for Dad. Hell. That would have been a disaster, right?”
Josh let out a rough breath. “It would have been a disaster,” he agreed.
“You didn’t even shout at me,” Liam continued. “I thought I’d get a blistering lecture, but you took me for ice cream and apologized for ignoring me. You said you wished I’d stay because you and Mum loved me. But, if I really felt I had to go, I should have told you where I was going, should have made plans for who I’d stay with. And then you took a bunch of ten-pound notes from your wallet and gave them to me. It was everything you had. You said the most important thing to you was my safety.” A fresh set of tears dripped down Liam’s cheek, but he didn’t seem to notice. “You’ve always looked out for me. Always protected me. But now, you aren’t safe. And it’s all my fault.”
“God, Liam.” Josh rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “It’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out.”
“No,” Liam replied. “It’s really not okay.” And then he jerked violently. “I heard you! Fuck me. Say it again.”
“It’s okay,” Josh said again. His face was pale, a deep frown carving a groove down his forehead, and the tendons in his neck stood out in harsh lines. The air around him seemed to grow even more charged, the metallic tang of ozone even sharper. “We’re going to be okay,” Josh said roughly.
“I can see you!” Liam whispered. And then he flung himself forward into Josh’s arms.
Ellie stepped back, giving the brothers space as they held each other. Liam wept, and Josh supported him—they supported each other—as they found some peace. Some forgiveness. And as Liam’s tears slowly ebbed.
Ellie gave a watery smile to Vic, who, after her initial gasp of shock, had settled into a wide-eyed stillness as the brothers embraced. She had the look of someone who had been through too much in one day to truly process a response. But, after a few moments, Vic dipped her chin and returned a small, shaky smile.
For the first time, Ellie felt like there was hope for their family. That they might make it through the damage that Warren had done.
Eventually Liam stepped back, looking tired but far more settled.
But Josh… Josh looked exhausted. Somehow making himself solid had utterly drained him, and even as she watched, he seemed to grow a little less distinct, a little more translucent.
“There’s still something I don’t understand,” Vic said, looking between them all as Ellie made her way back to hold Josh as he leaned heavily against her. “Why did Josh come here to Ellie?”
“Something happened between us during the accident,” Ellie answered slowly. “I can’t explain it, but it linked us somehow.”
“Don’t leave me,” Josh murmured, the words twisting through her like an oath. “That day, lying there on that rough tarmac, I was broken. I was going to close my eyes and let it all go. I was so tired. So cold. The pain was so excruciating. But you said, ‘Please don’t leave me.’ And maybe something in me recognized you, because I stayed.”
She stared at him, words frozen in her mouth. He’d stayed for her. He’d come back for her.
She wrapped her arms around him, tucking her head under his chin. He was so cold, his skin like ice, and she tightened her grip, pouring all her own heat, all the love growing in her heart, back into him.
She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head just as Liam gasped, and she knew no one else could see him now.
“I won’t leave you, Ellie. Not if I can help it,” Josh whispered, just for her.
She believed him. But she also knew the world. Knew how difficult it would be for him to keep that promise.