A University of Betrayal (The Blairville Legacies #2)

Chapter 31

Bayla

A few hours earlier

Black Shadow

Jay Varton

I hadn’t actually been dreaming, because when the alarm clock woke me up at four in the morning, I spotted the bag of blood on my bedside table. I stared at it for a solid thirty minutes before I realized that Alarik would be at the door in another thirty minutes.

What was I supposed to tell him? That I wasn’t a Senseque after all? I didn’t even know if that was supposed to comfort me. After all, I wasn’t a furry flesh-eating creature, but now I was apparently a blood-sucking monster that couldn’t keep blood inside. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing.

Somewhere in the last few weeks, I’d stopped questioning where all this magic had come from, so I was at a point where Mum could come in here and tell me Barack Obama was a unicorn, and I’d believe her.

My jaw tightened a little as my thoughts started to revolve around Mum.

First of all, I couldn’t actually believe anything she said, and I certainly couldn’t trust her. She was the one who had lied to me about my identity and brought me to this satanic town. And secondly, I had to be as quiet as I could to avoid waking her up.

I decided to just pack my things, which I needed for my seminars and had brought here on Friday and should not forget under any circumstances...

I would have lunch somewhere on campus today, with Larissa, who had somehow stopped liking to eat with me recently, or sometimes nothing at all for three days, like last week. She was still angry with me, but she wanted to be close to me.

How could Bastien be so sure that I was one of them?

I stared at the blood one last time until I let it disappear into my backpack. Damn. I’d drank that crap. Maybe because wolves liked bloody meat too?

I had so many questions. And it was disappointing that there were only two people who could answer them for me. One was my mother and the other was the professor who would be picking me up outside in a few minutes.

My stomach was tingling with excitement... maybe hunger, too. God, what if Alarik kidnapped me to take me to the Copelands? Maybe he knew I had found a love letter from him addressed to my mother, and now I was a sitting duck for him.

Bayla, calm down. Everything will be fine. A lie, but I ate it up.

Swept

Jay Varton

I crept down the stairs like a tiger and almost went into cardiac arrest twice because the stairs had started creaking deafeningly.

If Mum found out what was wrong with me and what I was doing, she would ground me for life.

I made it to the door without making any more noise, slipped out onto the porch, and surveyed the lantern-lit street.

Not scary at all when you think about what had happened here. The therapist was really worth considering.

I spotted a shiny dark brown SUV. A man was sitting in it, nodding at me with a pleasant smile. My professor.

My excitement rose once again, giving my ass the push I needed to get moving.

Oh, great. Was that really smart of me? Could I trust this man? After all, he was a university director.

I opened the passenger door and got in, trying to suppress the queasy feeling in my stomach, telling myself that it could only be hunger.

“Bayla, I’m glad you made it.” I was only slightly calmed by his gentle smile.

“I had no other choice,” I confessed nervously, placing the backpack on my lap.

His expression softened even more. “It’s important that you find out what you are until the next full moon comes.”

The attempt to calm me down had failed and a little too violently I closed the car door. Crap. Maybe I’d woken Mum.

“Should I be scared?” I asked quickly to get Alarik’s attention back on the subject, and he finally put the car in motion. Further away from our house, down the road. Further away from Mum.

“Not if you do what I tell you.”

“And the tea? Can’t I just drink it for the rest of my life?”

Just like Julian did.

“I won’t let anyone make that mistake again.”

He could only mean Julian.

Alarik drove us through the neighborhood where my mother and I lived, which was still peaceful at dawn, and we took a route that wouldn’t take us into downtown.

“Firstly, the herbs are extremely hard to find. The supply I’ve collected over the last few years is almost used up, and there’s less and less wolfsbane growing in the Copeland woods.” He sounded worried. “I fear that the occurrence of it has increased in the Quatura forests. Secondly, the side effects are strongest around the nights of the full moon.”

I wondered if Julian was struggling with side effects. And another thing...

“Does that mean that Senseque’s powers are dependent on the moon?”

“The moon doesn’t just play an important role for us. Perhaps you’ve already heard. The Quatura also adapt their rituals to different days of the lunar cycle.” That’s right. My ceremonies, which had both gone wrong, had taken place once on the full moon and once on the new moon. “Only the Ruisangors don’t seem to have to adapt to the moon.”

I just nodded and watched as we got closer to downtown.

Maybe I should have looked at my mother’s lunar calendar. Now it made sense that she had one.

“The moon is kind of a guide, for most of the supernatural inhabitants of this town. If the moon is waxing, our powers become stronger, we are more connected to ourselves and our true identity. If the moon wanes, we distance ourselves from our true nature. We become more human.”

“That one Quatura, Rebecca Harlow, or whatever her name is...”

I heard a disdainful snort from Alarik, who ran his hand through his hair, destroying his neat hairstyle.

“That woman. The devil sent her.”

“If you mean Gloria...” I said and heard him take a deep breath.

The Quatura of this town must be an enormous obstacle for him. Especially since he was the director of Vanderwood.

“Anyway, she said she’ll keep an eye on me and if she finds out...”

“She won’t,” Alarik interrupted me confidently. “God, Gloria. That woman is truly the spawn of hell. Already back in the day, she did unacceptable things to the young Circle members.”

My ears perked up. How could he know so much about the members and the Circle if he had never been part of it and the species hated each other so much?

“How do you know so much about the Quatura?”

He was silent, and I felt as if I had asked the wrong question.

We drove through a peaceful part of the forest with scattered larger rustic houses along the edge of the woods, and something told me we were already in Copelands’ territory.

“Bayla. I don’t know why that is, but you make me feel like I can trust you with certain things and that you understand them. Probably because you haven’t been in this system for that long,” Alarik began more insistently and quieter than before, although it was clear that no one could hear us.

I didn’t know if I should feel honored. After all, he was one of the people I was hoping to get the most answers from, and we didn’t even know each other that long.

“It’s complicated and I have to be careful what I can really say without risking my neck.” Now I was curious. “Please remember that our species weren’t always the way they are today.”

“Enemies?”

Alarik nodded, focused on the road.

Ever since I had witnessed all the rancor on campus, I had wondered when all this had started.

“How did it come to this?” I asked further.

Alarik gave me a serious look. “Many conflicts over territories, disputes during the founding period... upheavals in society and changing norms...”

“Why do people make it so complicated?”

Alarik laughed ironically. “Believe me, if I knew that, I’d solve the problem.”

I looked at him.

He didn’t have the slightest intention of being part of these conflicts any longer.

“You want peace.”

He looked at me again briefly.

“Unofficially, yes.”

“Unofficially?”

“It’s important that you know that everything we discuss at this and other meetings stays between us.” He looked focused on the road. “I’m probably giving too much away again.”

“I’ll keep it to myself. I promise.”

I had to gain his trust. Maybe he really could answer all my questions, although I wouldn’t bang the door down by asking him all of it now.

He turned to me with a warm look. “Thank you.”

If I was honest, I didn’t know the extent of the danger he faced by telling me all this, being politically against this war, and on top of that, training me against the pack’s knowledge.

I knew nothing. At least that’s how it felt after three months in this town. And all my mum told me was “Trust me” or “It’s better for you this way”.

No. It wasn’t. Ignorance had already cost many people their lives. Alone the crap that had happened to Larissa. Maybe I should have let her in on it...

“I found something on my mother’s desk. Something she’s researching.”

I didn’t know why I brought it up now, but it was too late anyway.

Alarik glanced at me. It was clear from his expression that I had aroused his deepest curiosity, and my hesitation didn’t make it any better.

“Do you want to tell me?”

Yes, I did. That was probably the reason. I had to talk to someone about my weird mother. “She’s kind of researching the heritability of the species’ genetics.”

Alarik nodded. “What exactly did you find?”

“A document... a protocol, to be more precise.”

Alarik fell silent again. I had apparently given him a lot to think about.

I was on the verge of confronting him about the letter, but that was perhaps too much. Above all, it was one thing: Private.

“When was the protocol dated?”

I looked at Alarik, confused.

Did that matter?

“It looked old.”

“And you found it in her files?” I felt like a criminal. Alarik looked at me. “That wouldn’t be a bad thing. If I were you, I would try to find out the truth, too.”

I was surprised. I hadn’t gotten that much sympathy from anyone in the last few months. But then didn’t he also assume that I might have found the letter? Now I was confused. Maybe he had forgotten the letter or thought Mum had thrown it away long ago? Maybe she had never actually replied.

“The letter was on the desk.”

“Letter?”

“Um...” I realized I was blushing and quickly turned my face to the window. Those moments when thoughts took on a life of their own… “The protocol, I mean.”

Silence again.

“Do you think my mother is still researching it?”

“Quite possible, knowing her.”

Bingo. He did know her. But he had mentioned that, so further questions in that direction would only be strange.

“Why is this so important to her?” I thought aloud and watched Alarik carefully. He was driving straight past the unusually peaceful university parking lot, down the street to wherever.

“Your mother is a very ambitious researcher.”

“She said no one should find out.”

“And she’s right. You shouldn’t actually tell anyone.”

How ironic that he had just let me tell him. Had he wanted to test me?

“I just thought you might have an answer...” I tried to explain myself.

He fell silent again. Maybe he had an answer, but he couldn’t tell me. He would remain silent. For my mother. That said a lot.

We drove down a street surrounded by forest. But the road eventually became rockier and then disappeared completely. Signs like “No Trespassing” or “Caution, Dangerous Area” lined the road.

“Are you sure we should be here?”

“I’ ve put up these signs.”

Very comforting.

“You can’t kill anyone here.”

“Kill?” He stopped the car and turned off the engine.

“Kill,” he just said with a friendly smile and got out of the car, leaving me to do the same so I could ask more questions.

Tranquil Birdsong in the Forest Drizzle

Nordic Wilderness

“Senseque sometimes forget themselves, which is why it’s important for them to have a pack and be under an Alpha bond.”

Otherwise, they would kill?

There was a queasy feeling in my stomach now.

“I don’t want to and won’t kill anyone.”

“Don’t be so sure, especially if you’ve never turned in your life.”

“I have...”

I faltered.

I had never turned before. That was supposed to take away my fear, but it didn’t at all.

“Don’t worry about it. Not today. I want to teach you a few basic things first.”

That was reassuring. Somehow...?

“Follow me.”

I obeyed and followed him across the leaf-covered ground, and it rustled softly as the dry leaves folded under my sole.

A raven swooped over our heads, and I ducked down in alarm.

Was there nowhere safe from these crazy animals?

“The first thing you need to learn is how to control your emotions to suppress a possible transformation. All this without using the day serum. For that, it’s essential that you can consciously perceive your emotions.”

I simply nodded and waited for further instructions.

“The Senseque in you is stronger. You should know that. She will want out and when it’s too late, even experienced Senseque won’t be able to control themselves.”

Images of Emely flashed through my mind. I didn’t want to experience that for myself. I didn’t really want to turn. On top of that, I didn’t even know if I really was a Senseque.

“Is there anything that makes you particularly angry?”

I had to think. Anger was something I rarely felt, as it wasn’t one of my main moods. I shook my head.

“Everyone has something.” But I had nothing. “The day I had to separate you and Larissa, what were you arguing about?”

Slowly, the memories came flooding back. Unpleasant memories. I tried to feel my way into them, to experience them again, but I didn’t succeed. As if these feelings had never been mine.

“I can’t,” I grumbled, and my professor gave me a displeased look.

“You haven’t even started yet.”

“Who says I’m even a Senseque just because my eyes can glow yellow?”

“Name me another creature that has that characteristic, and you’re dismissed.”

Point for him.

I snorted in displeasure and tried to summon something into my head that made me angry. I closed my eyes and literally rummaged for memories, nerve-racking discussions with my mother. Whenever she kept quiet instead of talking, whenever she lied to me.

I opened my eyes.

“Much better now,” Alarik said, coming closer. “What do you feel?”

“I feel anger. Just like you wanted me to.”

“Can you amplify that anger?”

I tried, reliving old discussions in my head. Until a thought occurred to me, and I was shocked at myself.

I exhaled and ran a hand through my hair.

“What if I don’t want to be angry?”

Alarik sighed.

I felt my eyes stop glowing.

All Of This

The Naked And Famous

The training had been a disaster. I hadn’t been able to feel anger, had even resisted this feeling at a certain point, until Alarik had explained to me that while anger was the most effective emotion, it wasn’t the only one. And then I’d started from scratch again. At some point he had said that maybe it was still the tea, and that I should stop drinking it and come to his office when I got angry. He had even given me his number in case anything happened, and I had time until the next meeting on Wednesday evening to find the emotion that affected me the most.

Great.

Now – after my messy pants purchase where two arrogant bitches had wanted to rip the clothes out of my hands because it had been the last pieces – I was sitting at my part of the long desk, trying to concentrate on the essay I had wanted to finish last week.

I had managed to attend two interesting literature lectures with Alarik Copeland, who hadn’t let me out of his sight. And then there were my fellow students, who had almost been at each other’s throats again today over little things. As always.

Next to me, Julie sat in silence at her laptop. Grace had braided her hair back and then decorated it with flowers that made her look almost fairy-like, especially in combination with the pastel blue dress.

It was pleasant to work next to her. It didn’t feel awkward at all that we were silent. It was much more like we understood each other and let the other do their stuff in peace.

When I realized that my concentration was waning, I leaned back in my chair. And as if she had set the clock after me, Larissa appeared in the doorway.

She was wearing black jeans with one of her new leather jackets of the same color over a very tight white top. “Don’t tell me you guys are studying the whole time.”

I should be surprised she showed up at all. After all, she was still pissed. However, I knew my best friend and hoped she would forgive me eventually.

“What does it look like?” I just asked, prepared for her usual grumpy mood as she took another step into the room and finally dashed to her far too neat bed at an inhuman pace.

Julie immediately put her white headphones down and stared at Larissa as if she’d seen a ghost.

“I have a feeling there’s a lot I don’t know yet, and since my friendly escorts aren’t telling me a damn thing, I have no choice but to ask you traitors.”

Ouch. But well deserved. If it brought us closer again, she could insult me all day.

Larissa eyed us both with obvious frustration on her face.

I didn’t have the answer to all the crazy stuff that was going on in Blairville, but she was still my friend, and I wouldn’t be keeping any more secrets from her from now on. I hoped she knew that and sighed, which got her attention.

She seemed to be fighting a battle between pride and curiosity. And I knew which side would win.

“Grace doesn’t want me to...” Julie looked a little unsettled, and Larissa interrupted her directly.

“Forget Grace for a few minutes. She’s not here.” A similar battle now seemed to be raging inside Julie. The one between reason and curiosity. “Besides, I don’t understand why everyone’s like this anyway. You don’t even smell that tasty. And you...” Larissa looked at me. “You don’t smell at all.”

I stiffened.

I should slowly get used to the fact that my elemental magic was too weak for others to detect, that I didn’t have any in me, which of course didn’t explain why I didn’t smell like either Senseque or Ruisangor. Something was wrong with me.

Larissa raised one of her elegant eyebrows. “Which brings me to the question: What the hell are you?”

“She’s one of us, except... her magic couldn’t be activated yet. Some Quatura suspect that this magic is even too weak, which would make her human,” Julie explained quietly.

You could see that it took Julie a lot of effort to talk to Larissa, although it had been easier for her a few weeks ago. When we had been looking for Erik.

I narrowed my eyes and looked at Julie.

She hadn’t said another word about him until today.

“She’s not human,” Larissa huffed. “Humans smell... delicious.”

My gaze slid to hers and I knew exactly what she meant. Scrutinizing her, I tried to hold her gaze.

I wanted to know how she dealt with that smell when she walked around campus. Was she disgusted, like me, or could she just deal with it? Were all Ruisangors like that? Did they repress it? After all, it wasn’t the human himself, but his blood that they smelled. But something she had said bothered me now. Because Grace and Julie didn’t smell sweet... neither did Emely or Julian.

“Anyway. I want to know what you are capable of. Miles said you’re like witches, and you control the elements.”

“Something like that,” Julie said.

“So, you can burn down Bayla’s...” She pointed a finger at my bed. “…nightstand, there?”

I took that personally and snorted in playful annoyance.

She was always like that when she was angry. For a moment, I wished she could give me some of her anger so that at least Alarik would be happy with me.

“No. Everyone controls a different element. Some elements are rarer and some are more common. While most are Earth Quatura, there are fewer Air Quatura or Water Quatura. Fire Quatura are the rarest.”

Larissa nodded with interest. “And what is your element?”

Julie seemed uncomfortable with the question.

I had seen the magic burst out of her and literally save me from the rite of passage. Only that hadn’t been normal. Julie had a special gift, but her answer was simple.

“I’m an Air Quatura.”

“Interesting,” Larissa mumbled and reached for one of the cameras on the shelf above her bed.

“This man...” Julie murmured quietly. “All this information is contradictory.”

I’d never heard her talk to herself before, but now I couldn’t help but stare at her.

“What are you researching?”

Larissa shot across the room and stole Julie’s laptop.

Julie jumped up in panic.

“No!”

“Professor Quentin Tiberius,” Larissa read aloud with a grin and looked at Julie, who grabbed her laptop back. “Isn’t that your hot biology professor?”

“Molecular biology,” Julie corrected her and closed the laptop with an expressionless face.

“Why are you googling him?”

“And why do you own his books?” I followed up with a question that had been puzzling me for weeks.

I had seen the books on Julie’s shelf, but hadn’t dared to read more into them than necessary. But now I was curious.

Julie looked at us both as if she was thinking. She hesitated, and I knew she was about to lie. Larissa seemed to notice it too.

“Okay, there’s something going on and if you don’t tell us...”

“He knows about supernaturals,” she blurted out before pressing her lips together. “And I went to his office to look for clues.”

Larissa raised both brows and tilted her head. “Without us?”

Julie stared at her as if my best friend had lost her mind.

“Wait, he knows about magic, but he’s human? Why haven’t you erased his memory yet?” I asked, confused.

“You do such things?” Larissa laughed dryly, raised both arms and ran back to her bed to throw herself into the pillows. “Holy shit?”

“He knows how to defend himself,” Julie continued with a strained expression.

My eyes widened. “You tried?”

Julie started pacing back and forth as if she was getting desperate.

“He’s a danger to the Circle. But I can’t tell anyone until I know more about him.”

“That sounds dangerous...” I voiced my concern aloud. And I wondered why Julie, of all people, would throw herself into such danger.

“You have to promise me. To keep it to yourselves...”

I nodded, because who was I going to tell about Julie and her crazy professor? Alarik? Hardly.

“If you need help, you know where to find me,” Larissa said with a wink.

Julie stared at her, then looked out the window in despair, as if she regretted sharing her information with us, before hurrying back to her laptop.

“Julie?” Larissa suddenly asked, and Julie looked up, caught off guard.

I knew what was coming next. Something I had wanted to ask Julie the whole time.

“We haven’t had a chance to talk about Erik yet...”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” she replied in a shaky voice.

“Liar,” Larissa said with narrowed eyes. “You’ve been seeing each other. What did you do?”

I’d never seen anyone blush like Julie did at that moment.

“We talked...”

Larissa looked at me with a grin.

“What? We really talked...” Julie assured us, looking at her screen again. Even the tip of her nose started to change color.

Now I had to grin too.

“Are you going to meet up again?” Larissa asked.

“He’s human.” Julie sighed. “I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“As long as you don’t feel the need to suck out his blood, it’s all right.”

“No,” Julie replied quickly. “It’s different with us.” Julie took a deep breath. “Quatura remain among themselves for a reason.”

Something in me wanted to ask, wanted to disagree and encourage Julie to ignore this law and prioritize her friendship, or whatever it was that she had with this Erik. But another part of me knew that wasn’t the reality. Julie wouldn’t listen to me. She’d been part of the Quatura community for what seemed like forever. Their rules were probably part of her DNA by now.

I decided it was too private to investigate further and got up because it was time to tidy up a bit. My bed was a mess, and there were suitcases in front of the bed, piles of books and even the box of uniforms... I paused. The diary.

All the curiosity that dwelled inside me came together, and I reached for the box to search for the book.

I rummaged and rummaged until my fingers felt the pages hanging together, and I held the book – or what was left of it – in my hands.

“Is Bayla here?”

I saw Larissa jump up, and her eyes began to glow red.

“You’re a Senseque.”

I knew immediately who had asked for me and came out of the corner.

“Hey Julian, what are you doing here?”

I was more than surprised.

“Actually, I wanted to bring you something from your mother. She said you left early this morning without saying goodbye.” Julian looked at me scrutinizingly before glancing at Larissa. “That’s all I wanted here, actually.”

I looked at Larissa. “It’s all right. He’s not going to tear you into pieces.”

“And I didn't want that to happen. My body reacted to it on its own.”

“You guys can’t do that,” Julian laughed. “You Ruisangors just hate us for no particular reason.”

“I don’t hate you,” Larissa snorted.

Julian shrugged his broad shoulders. “Sooner or later, you’ll be like the others.”

I looked at him in disbelief, as if he hadn’t just put my best friend in a massive box.

He turned to me and skillfully ignored it. “Anyway, here.”

He held out his arm and handed me a stack of laundered uniforms. The last thing I needed right then.

“Oh God, what am I going to do with these?”

“Wear it, Blueberry.”

“Funny,” I said, giving Julian a playfully devastating look, which made him grin until his eyes wandered to my hands.

“Blueberry?” Larissa laughed behind me. “How fitting.”

I gave her an annoyed look.

“The diary...” Julian said, looking at me scrutinizingly. “Have you read it?”

I raised my eyebrows to make it clear to him that I was in a room full of people who could hear us. Julian didn’t seem to mind.

“Diary?” Larissa was standing next to me within a second. “What diary? And who’s?” She tried to reach for it, but I made it disappear behind my back. Her expression changed abruptly. “Oh right, you’ve been keeping secrets from me lately. Nothing new.”

She glared at me.

“No, but it’s a diary and...”

“You’re holding someone’s diary in your hands, and you don’t want to share it with your best friend?” Larissa replied accusingly.

I looked at Julian in despair. He seemed amused.

“It’s from my mum.”

And that was the crux of the matter.

“Oh, even better, Diana’s secrets.” An amused expression spread across her face. “How exciting.”

I pressed my lips together before opening them again. “Maybe it really is very private, and I should take it back.”

“Hey Julie, how much would you bet me that Bayla would return a diary that isn’t hers?”

Julie stared at the diary at first and finally smirked. She smirked .

“After you read the love letter, I wouldn’t bet on anything,” Julian said cheekily, and I widened my eyes.

“Julian!”

“Love letter?” Larissa raised an eyebrow.

There was no way out of this.

“I found an old love letter for my mother. But it’s not that important.”

“It’s actually very relevant because the sender is Alarik Copeland.”

Julie widened her eyes and looked at me in alarm.

Julian had taken it too far.

“What? Our English professor? To your mother?”

The disbelief on Larissa’s face was impossible to miss.

“Could you please be quiet and not blurt out everything I’ve entrusted to you?” I said to Julian.

Then I rushed to the door of our room in a panic and closed it in the hope that no one had heard us.

“Too late, I’d say,” Larissa snorted.

Julian was still laughing. “I was just trying to help you get back on good terms with your friend.”

“Very kind of you, but I could have done that on my own.”

“Very kind of you, but she can’t even manage that with you.” There was dissatisfaction in Larissa’s expression. “You should have told me about it before telling your annoying neighbor.”

This time Julian’s jaw dropped.

“You didn’t want to talk to me,” I said with indignation, wondering if I was on the verge of anger, but I was just upset.

“Because of all your previous lies,” Larissa hissed angrily, and her eyes began to glow red.

“Larissa, I don’t know anything myself. I don’t even know if I’m a Quatura.”

Lie. I knew I wasn’t one, but what I was instead, I didn’t know.

How was I supposed to be honest with her in this godforsaken town? It was like everything around me was forcing me to keep secrets. But I didn’t want to end up like my mother.

Larissa looked at me angrily, and I? I still didn’t feel any anger.

How was I supposed to learn to control myself if what was inside me didn’t even come out? Alarik would be disappointed. Only I wouldn’t complain. Who wanted to voluntarily walk around as a beast?

“Show me you’re serious and read the journal with me.”

Wait, what? I looked at her, confused. “So, you don’t want me to bring it back?”

“No,” everyone in the room said at the same time, even Julie.

I looked at each and every one of them, stunned.

“You just want to know what’s none of your business.”

“It’s none of your business either,” Julian laughed again. “And besides, you’re not going to bring it back anyway.” He grinned broadly at me.

Again, I looked at Larissa. “Okay. You’re right. I would never have brought it back anyway.”

Larissa was grinning now too. For the first time in a long time.

“Well, then let us see.”

A little overwhelmed, I went to Julie’s bed, where everyone always hung out – out of habit – because she didn’t say anything against it.

“Can I?” I asked nonetheless, and she just nodded and slid to the edge to make room for me. Larissa sat down next to me while Julian sat down on my desk chair.

Everyone looked at me as if they were aristocrats from back then, and I was the letter carrier who brought the gossip to them.

God, now I would actually look at my mother’s diary with them. It felt so forbidden. And yet there was this feeling when I picked up the first page. The feeling that I deserved the truth.