Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
“ I certainly hope you have a good explanation for what you just did,” Selina spat out once Lord Pembroke had scampered away.
“You need to be careful with the kind of company you keep,” Richard scolded her.
The nerve of this man!
She was so irritated that Richard ruined a good conversation she was having with a decent gentleman with thinly veiled insults. She wondered how the gentleman hadn’t boxed his ears.
But she calmed herself, not wanting to make a scene that would draw attention to their conversation. Already, a few eyes were turning in their direction, and she did not need any more.
And now he is scolding me!
“Indeed, I need to, or I would not be spending so much time with you,” she hissed. “Why did you insult Lord Pembroke? You wanted me to converse with a gentleman. I finally get the opportunity to do so without stumbling over my words, and you insult him!”
“I do not think he is right for you,” Richard answered, not looking in the least bit sorry. “You can do way better than Lord Pembroke.”
He couldn’t even meet her eyes to deliver those annoying words.
What did he know about who was right for her and who wasn’t?
Lord Pembroke had been perfectly polite, showing an interest in her that was a little overwhelming but not unpleasant. She hadn’t ever known a man so willing to talk to her. Despite her stumbling through the initial parts of their conversation, he had been patient, asking all the right questions and making suggestions.
Besides, he was handsome, he was an earl, and his estate was in good condition. He was perfect by all standards.
“What do you know about who is right for me and who isn’t?” she asked with a frown.
“All the advice that you’ve taken from me so far has brought good results, has it not?” Richard asked stubbornly. “Why do you insist on doubting me now?”
Indeed, but that does not mean you can predict my taste in men.
“That is different, and I find it hard to trust your judgment when you so blatantly pursued him.”
“How so?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. “Selina, you have to understand that I am committed to seeing our deal succeed, but Lord Pembroke is not someone I will ever recommend. You can do far better. I would also advise you to keep your distance from him. It is what’s best for you.”
“You do not know what’s best for me,” Selina spat, folding her arms. “Lord Pembroke looks like the only viable match I can hope to make here. He has shown interest in me. He was thoroughly pleasant and a gentleman to boot. He was also interested in my discussion on horticulture.”
“I’m pretty sure he was interested in more than your discussion on horticulture . ”
“And what do you mean by that?”
“Nothing you should bother yourself with.”
“Yet, it is important enough to have you cross Lord Pembroke off the list.”
“Indeed.”
“You’re insufferable!” she scoffed.
“And you’re not as knowledgeable about the ton as you claimed,” he retorted.
She turned away from him, and he sighed.
“I am sorry I cannot give you a better explanation than I already have, but you must believe that I only have your best interests at heart,” he offered in a soothing tone that cooled her anger. “You must not settle for any gentleman who is likely to gamble your dowry away—or, worse, resign you to a life of loneliness and grief you do not deserve.”
“I… I cannot just rely on your assistance to secure a match, Your Grace,” Selina told him, turning back to him, yet she was unable to look him in the eye.
She had begun to feel vulnerable, exposing her deepest fears to him.
“If I am to avoid marriage to a man much older than me who only seeks to use me as a broodmare, then I must be successful in this endeavor. I do not want to waste such an auspicious opportunity. I’m sure you understand.”
Richard nodded, the pity so obvious in his eyes that tears pooled in hers before she blinked them back. Now was not the time for a pity party, even though it was well deserved.
“I do understand, and that is why I will take it upon myself to teach you the necessary skills to convince a better man to marry you. Your skills are so desperately lacking.”
“What skills?” Selina asked, affronted.
His eyes glittered as a small smile that didn’t spell good tidings crossed his face. She had seen that look on more than one occasion, and she was starting to resent it.
It seemed that he derived immense joy from scaring her with mischievous intentions.
Seeing as he didn’t have many friends, she reasoned that he mostly used her for entertainment. After all, he didn’t seem to have any hobbies.
“The good old art of flirtation,” he stated as though it was blindingly obvious.
“You’re just being ridiculous now, Your Grace.” She laughed, unable to believe her ears. “Flirtation?”
“Yes,” he said with a nod. “It is one of the oldest tools women have used over the years to win the hearts of men they desire. It is rather powerful, but unfortunately, its effects wear off after a few months of conjugal bliss. Still, one cannot deny that it gets the job done.”
Surely he has to be jesting. Does he really view marriage through such a dark lens?
“I understand that you are trying to make me feel better about my situation by jesting, but I assure you I’m not so morose as to need it.”
He smiled and came to stand beside her, his eyes scanning the party going on around them. He adopted such a casual tone that one wouldn’t suspect he was discussing a subject of such a scandalous nature.
“I see you still do not believe me.” He shrugged his shoulders, cutting a fine picture in his evening coat. “Look over there at Miss Pembley and Lord Salsbury. Note how he flushes and how her eyes are narrowed. Watch her body language and the way she uses her fan to speak of promises she should know nothing about.”
Selina watched and was amazed to see how Lord Salsbury appeared entranced by the fan, his eyes following its every movement.
She found herself growing warm with embarrassment at the impropriety Miss Pembley showed when she ran the edge of her fan along her collarbone, dipping it slightly lower, then all at once pulling it away, her smile turning innocent once her mother returned.
Her amazement grew when she saw Lord Salsbury pandering after her when her mother excused herself from the conversation. The trance might have been broken, but the spell had worked its magic. It was almost too unreal to believe that she had witnessed something so improper in the middle of the raging party, yet no one had spared them a second glance.
“You might want to close your mouth, dear. It is not very polite,” Richard said from behind her, amusement heavy in his voice.
Selina closed her mouth and turned to him, chagrined that she had been enthralled by Miss Pembley’s skill. Still, she couldn’t help but think Richard mad for thinking that she could ever hope to wield the skill as effectively. Even the thought of behaving so… crassly brought a hot flush to her cheeks.
What would Martha say if she saw her niece behaving so provocatively?
“I do not think this a particular skill I would like to learn, Your Grace. I must politely decline your offer,” Selina told him with a frown.
“Why? You think it’s too brazen? Too desperate?”
That is putting it mildly.
She was reminded briefly of his words and how he had made her feel when he had put his hands on her and claimed her first kiss. She hadn’t needed any flirtation tactics then, and neither had she employed any with him for him to say the things he had.
If she were to employ such means, she wondered if he would pull her into his arms as he had before.
“No, you do not. You tempt me till I’m out of my mind with want. Perhaps you will understand better if you get burnt by the heated fantasies that have plagued me in recent days.”
Remembering how cold he had been towards her afterward was enough to make her angry with him again for being so…
“I don’t believe it suits my morals or my views on marriage,” she explained.
He laughed, slapping a hand on his thigh. “What do you think goes on in a marriage?” he asked incredulously. “Chaste kisses and walks in the gardens?”
“I… I am not unaware of what goes on in the marriage bed, Your Grace, but?—”
“You do not have any idea if you do not understand that desire is the greatest weapon a woman has,” he interrupted. “Why do you think most men leave their marriage beds after producing heirs and spend longer days with their mistresses? Rather than shy away from sensuality, they embrace it.”
“But I do not intend to become a mistress,” she rebutted, wrinkling her nose at the example he had given.
“But surely you would like to keep your husband’s attention?”
She nodded, wondering where he was heading by buttressing his point so soundly.
“Men do not want a woman they feel they would have to educate on matters concerning the marriage bed,” he stated. “Contrary to what women believe, not every man desires a chaste bride.”
Selina covered her ears, deciding she had heard enough. It seemed as though he intended to scandalize her thoroughly or change her view on marriage.
“I believe we have engaged in this damning conversation long enough, Your Grace,” she told him. “I thank you for your concerns, but I believe I can do well without such education.”
“I know you will think about what I have said later tonight, and I expect that we will meet at this time tomorrow in the library,” he said stubbornly. “Come with an open mind.”
The library was fast becoming the place for their secret meetings, and soon, someone would catch on to the fact that they were usually alone. If they were discovered one day, she couldn’t for the life of her imagine an excuse she could give that would explain why she and the Duke were alone.
She turned away from him, giving him a look that she hoped conveyed her seriousness.
“I won’t be needing such an education, as I have said, Your Grace.” Then, with a curtsey, she added, “I wish you a good evening.”
Selina tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep as her final conversation with the Duke echoed in her mind. She had witnessed the not-so-subtle flirtation Stephen and Elizabeth had engaged in at the breakfast table, which often led to hurried excuses and trips to their chambers.
She hoped she would find the same with whomever she married, but having to learn the skill before marriage had never crossed her mind.
After all, Elizabeth had never had to, yet Stephen had fallen in love with her almost at the very beginning.
So, why do I have to?
The idea haunted her.
She had none of Elizabeth’s quiet femininity and grace, which drew admiring eyes wherever she went, or her skill at wielding her husband’s affection.
Selina had always been described as sharp around the edges and lacking in feminine grace by all of her tutors, but she hadn’t thought it such a problem until the Duke pointed it out. She groaned into her pillow, kicking her legs furiously at the embarrassment.
Accepting his help would be no less embarrassing, but when weighed against how poorly she handled conversations with the opposite sex, she thought it a much better option.
The door opened suddenly, startling her out of her thoughts. She sat up, wrapping the covers tighter around herself as she wondered if perhaps the Duke had snuck into her chambers. She frowned at the anticipation that had bubbled up inside her at the thought, remembering what had happened the last time they had been alone in his chambers.
Her cheeks burned hot as memories of that night flashed through her mind, leaving a familiar, liquid heat between her legs and the imprint of his hands on her body.
Did he perhaps want to repeat it?
“Have a good night, My Lady. I will see you at breakfast tomorrow,” a masculine voice said.
“Good night, My Lord.”
Diana’s giggle calmed her anxious heart even though disappointment welled up inside her. She pushed down the feeling and smiled inquisitively at her sister, who was startled to see her.
“Selina, I… I didn’t expect to find you awake,” Diana stuttered. “You retired early, and I… It’s not what you think. He just escorted me, and we were not unchaperoned… Do not think anything improper.”
Diana only rambled when she had been caught doing something she shouldn’t have, and it was a welcome pleasure to see how uncomfortable she was now. It wasn’t often that Selina got to see her sister’s perfect feathers ruffled, and now that the opportunity had presented itself, there was no way she would let it slide.
“I didn’t do any such thing, Diana, but now that you’ve pointed it out, I have no choice but to ask. Who was the gentleman who so kindly walked you to our chambers, unchaperoned, so late at night? Is he a new beau?”
“He is not a beau, and he is no one you need concern yourself with,” Diana answered, folding her arms. “If there’s anyone who should be answering that question, Selina, it is you. I have noticed that you and the Duke of Seymour have been spending time together. Are you two courting?”
“No, we are not,” Selina answered firmly. “We only talk because of his recent acquaintance with Stephen. It would be rude to ignore him.”
“It doesn’t look that way, Selina. I have seen him laugh with you several times, and from what I have observed, he looks at you even when you’re apart. You look at him in the same way. Are you in love with him?”
The Duke looks at me?
A hot blush rose to her face at the thought that he had been watching her the same way she had been watching him. Did that mean he liked her the way she liked him?
Why, then, would he be helping her look for a spouse?
Realizing she hadn’t yet answered Diana’s question, she looked up to see the girl smiling widely.
“I am right, aren’t I?” Diana squealed, jumping onto the bed. “I am so ecstatic for you, Sister. A duke! Aunt Martha will be so pleased, and you won’t have to marry her friend!”
Selina didn’t want to dampen her sister’s excitement, but it had to be done, seeing as she had gotten such a strange thought in her mind.
“You’re reading into things that aren’t there, Diana,” she told her, pushing down the grief that the words stirred. “There is nothing between the Duke and me. We have similar interests, and if he does laugh, it is because he enjoys my sense of humor.”
“Sense of humor or not, Sister, the man never smiles, much less talks to anyone. He is the same as Stephen—or, at least, Stephen before he married Elizabeth.” Diana wrinkled her nose.
It was not hard to see why the girl had hope. Selina had warned the Duke that their frequent interactions and his near snubbing of all other unmarried ladies would spark rumors, but the odious man didn’t seem to care.
“That he is, but we are not courting. I do not want the duties that come with being a duchess, and you know that, Sister. I detest the attention and unending conversations. It is just not for me.”
“But if the Duke were to propose, would not you accept?”
“I would not.”
Lies, her subconscious screamed.
Even as the words left her mouth, Selina knew them to be a severe untruth. Even though she hated to admit it, there was no one else, aside from her siblings and Elizabeth, with whom she had enjoyed conversation as much as she had with Richard.
“I am surprised because I thought I had accurately read the situation between you two. He is always by your side, and I was thoroughly surprised that you hadn’t chased him off with your sharp tongue or begged off the conversation.”
“How would you know, when you have disappeared over the last few days?” Selina said with a pointed look at her sister, who turned red and hid her face in her hair. “Are you keeping secrets now, Diana? Who is the gentleman that escorted you to your chambers? Unchaperoned might I add.”
Diana giggled and shook her head. “I can tell you’re changing the subject to distract me, but I can answer your question,” she said with a scolding look. “I might have made a new friend, but I cannot tell you just yet who he is.”
“Oh?” Selina asked with a raised eyebrow. “And why is that?”
“Because there is nothing to it,” Diana answered with a smile. “Besides, he has helped me escape the suitors that Aunt Martha has been foisting on me. That woman is relentless.”
“If Mother were still here, I fear she would have been much the same.”
They giggled, then fell silent for a moment. There was no grief when they spoke of their mother, only a fondness of the memories they had gotten through recollections from Stephen and everyone else who had known her well enough.
“I trust you, Sister. I only worry for your reputation,” Diana added with a sigh. “If there really is nothing between you two, then you must limit the amount of time you spend in his company. Tongues are already wagging, and it will not be long before more people catch wind of it. You cannot afford such a scandal.”
“I know, dear sister, but I assure you there is nothing to worry about.” Selina squeezed her hand. “I will take your advice to heart and stay away from the Duke.”
“You should. He might be Stephen’s friend, but I doubt he would enjoy knowing that you two are spending so much time together.”
“You should get some sleep, Diana.” Selina smiled at her. “We have an early day tomorrow.”
“Alright,” Diana said, rising to stand in front of their mirror. “I am glad that my fears have no substance.”
If only you knew .
Selina would have to be incredibly careful when she met the Duke in the library. It would end terribly if anyone walked in on them unchaperoned, after all.
Her heart raced when she imagined him repeating what he had done before, and she chided herself for thinking such terrible thoughts.
She should not be thinking about a man who was not her husband so improperly. She already feared that he would ruin the appetites only her husband was supposed to stir up in her with his subconscious seduction, and she wondered if she would feel the same for any other man.
She had been subconsciously searching to see if she would feel the same spark with any of the other gentlemen she had conversed with, but so far, aside from general feelings of disgust or bored acceptance, there had been no spark.
She would be careful not to get caught alone with him and not to drop her guard around the man who made her feel things she should not feel.