A Virgin for the Ruthless Duke (In War and Love #2)

Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

A ll Selina wanted was the opportunity to return upstairs so she could curl up in her bed, nurse her aching heart, and reserve some of the energy of which she had very little. But alas, that was not to be, as Martha had woken her early in the morning, ordering her to have her bath and be ready to receive guests in the drawing room.

Selina tried everything, feigning a headache and a multitude of other ailments—anything to remain in her bedroom—but her aunt refused. She was positive that Peter would visit early in the morning to propose.

The idea that the Earl was so eager to ask for her hand that he would not take a day to recover from the long house party they had just returned from was ridiculous.

She had certainly been resting since they had returned the day before, requesting privacy. Diana had visited, doing her best to cheer her up, but her attempts did not yield any good results, so she left her to rest.

A distant part of Selina felt guilty for not even trying to enjoy her sister’s presence, but she was too emotionally exhausted to feel anything. She would have said she was numb, but the pain in her chest proved otherwise.

She knew the moment when Stephen returned with his Duchess. The household became busy, and she could hear the cheers of welcome that indicated their return, but she could not bring herself to go downstairs. She loved her brother and his beautiful wife, but perhaps it was better she did not show her face so as not to put a dampener on their happiness with her gloominess.

She knew they would come to check on her, so when she heard their voices outside the door, she immediately closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. She heard the door open before clicking shut. She guessed that Elizabeth had peered in. She recognized her unique, exotic scent.

Perhaps she should have exchanged greetings with her. After all, they were now friends as well as sisters, but that would require her to explain why she did not come downstairs to welcome them, and knowing her friend’s nature, she was sure to notice her mood and make sure to wheedle information out of her. She did not think she was ready to talk about Richard and everything that had happened. Not yet.

Were it not for Martha insisting that she come downstairs, she would have remained in her bed, especially when she was not certain that Peter would visit.

But true to her aunt’s hope, Peter did come. He looked dashing in his gold embroidered jacket and waistcoat. The color was a perfect foil for his golden looks. He was excellently groomed as usual, yet she felt nothing other than a fleeting admiration for a good-looking man.

“Good morning,” he greeted with his charming smile, taking her hand in his and placing a kiss on it. “You look ravishing, as always,” he complimented.

“Thank you, My Lord,” she replied, fully convinced that he was lying.

She had woken up with a swollen face from all her crying, and even though her maid had managed to conceal the puffiness of her eyes with some well-placed powder, she was aware that she did not look her best. Peter was simply being a gentleman.

When he offered her a bouquet of roses, she accepted it gracefully, forcing a smile on her lips, but she guessed it didn’t appear as good as she had expected it to be because he furrowed his brow in concern.

He seemed ready to ask her questions but was interrupted by the arrival of her family. Someone must have informed them of his presence because everyone came down, including Stephen and his pregnant wife.

She would have thought that they would be resting from their journey, but she was sure that news of a suitor coming to ask for her hand was too sweet to resist.

“Good morning, Your Graces,” Peter greeted, accepting Stephen’s handshake and bowing to the Duchess before placing a kiss on her hand. “You were notably absent at the house party, but I understand you went on a trip with your beautiful wife. I hope the journey was enjoyable and safe?”

“It was splendid, thank you, Lord…?” Elizabeth trailed off with a smile.

“Sanderson, Your Grace,” he supplied.

“Welcome to our humble abode, Lord Sanderson,” Elizabeth said, flashing her best hostess smile.

“I dare say it is more than humble,” Peter teased, eliciting a short laugh from her.

Stephen was still eyeing him suspiciously. “I am sure you have business here. I hardly think you came here simply to ask about the well-being of me and my wife. I appreciate the thought, but I would prefer that we move on to the reason you are here.”

He spoke matter-of-factly, earning himself a chastising look from his wife, but his eyes were fixed on the Earl, so he didn’t see it.

“I do have something to speak to you about, in regard to Lady Selina.”

“A suitor?” Stephen asked with a raised eyebrow, easing his wife onto the settee before taking a seat beside her and wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders.

Perhaps Selina should have felt insulted that her brother was surprised to see a suitor on their doorstep, but then she guessed that it was not quite out of place for him to be surprised or skeptical of her history with unmarried gentlemen.

“Lord Sanderson had asked for my permission to court our dear Selina, since you were not available. Forgive me for not bringing it to your attention,” Martha said, beaming with pride for having been the first recipient of the news.

At least her explanation caused Stephen to relax, and Selina could see the tension leaving Peter’s shoulders. It was definitely not easy dealing with overprotective elder brothers.

“I deeply admire your sister, Your Grace,” Peter began, trying to present his suit. “I would love to?—”

“It seems that we went to the same school, Sanderson. I didn’t realize it. I heard it during one of these balls,” Herbert interjected, startling him and drawing surprised looks from the other occupants of the room.

“Yes, I went to Eton,” Peter answered with an indulgent smile. “But I fail to see how this is connected to?—”

“I’m curious about the customs when you were a student. Do tell me if they were always that rigid in their ways or if they were a little more liberal when you were a student?”

“I do not think they have compromised standard. I am here to?—”

“Perhaps you developed your love for riding there? What better way to escape all their rules?” Herbert said, ignoring the warning look Stephen was giving him.

Suddenly, Selina understood what was happening. Herbert was doing his best to prevent Peter from proposing, knowing full well that her heart belonged to another.

“I wouldn’t say so?—”

“Perhaps we could ride someday?”

“Herbert,” Stephen said, shaking his head in warning.

Herbert deflated, leaning back in his seat.

“I am here to ask permission to marry Lady Selina,” Peter said.

There was total silence in the room as all eyes turned to Selina. Diana and Herbert’s eyes conveyed worry, Elizabeth was curious, Martha was excited—eager for her to accept the proposal—and Stephen’s expression was passive but watchful.

“Tell me, Lady Selina, will you make me the luckiest man in England by agreeing to be my wife?”

Peter knelt down to ask her, his warm eyes shining with hope.

Hope that she might very well destroy.

It was tempting, very much so, for her to accept. The man kneeling before her was handsome, funny, clever, titled, and well-connected. He was the perfect suitor for her.

But the problem remained that he was only perfect for her on paper. Her heart belonged to a duke who didn’t care about her. It would be a sin and a disservice to him to marry him while she carried another man in her heart.

It would be a disaster waiting to unfold, and she knew it. Because every day, she would compare him to Richard, and he would fall short. It would be evil to condemn them both to a life of misery simply because he was available. Peter was a good man, and he deserved a woman who loved him wholeheartedly.

Perhaps she had taken too long to decide because her aunt smiled brightly.

“Don’t mind my niece. I am sure she would be grateful to marry you.”

“Auntie,” Herbert said in a warning tone.

“She is old enough to make her own choices—do not force her,” Stephen said quietly from beside his wife.

“Actually, I would love to hear her answer,” Peter said, looking up at her hopefully.

Selina took a deep breath. “My Lord, you are a wonderful man.” She swallowed. “Any woman would be happy to marry you, and I am not exempted.”

Hope shone in his eyes.

She looked away and took another deep breath, readying herself to smash that hope into pieces.

“But I do not love you.” A heavy silence followed her announcement, but she forged ahead. “Like I said, I would still like to marry you if you are interested in a marriage of convenience.”

There was a gasp of disbelief now, and it flew across the room. She summoned the courage to look at Peter. He was still on his knees, but the hope in his eyes was dead, disappointment and pain edging his weak smile.

“I thank you, My Lady, for your honesty,” he said, rising to his full height. “I am highly tempted to accept your offer, but I desire a love match, and I had hoped I had found it with you. Thank you for being honest enough to clear my delusion. I wish you the best in your endeavors.”

With that, he gave her a deep bow, then took her hand and placed a kiss on it. The gesture brought tears to her eyes. He was a gentleman through and through. It was unfortunate that she could not bring herself to fall in love with him.

With a deep bow to her family, he left the silent room, and in a few moments, she heard the front door opening and closing, signaling that he was gone—away from her life and the possibility that he might be her husband.

Maybe she should have felt a sense of loss, but instead, she felt like she had lost a chance at friendship if she needed further proof that she did not love the poor man. This was it. It was better this way.

The room was silent for a while after Peter left. She waited patiently for the dreaded questions that would come with her decision, and they didn’t disappoint.

“Well, that did not go as I imagined,” Stephen began, a perplexed look on his face. “I thought you liked Lord Sanderson. I did hear some talk about your interactions at the house party. I had high hopes of you making a grand match with him. He certainly seems intelligent enough to match you.”

“And how did you know this?” Selina asked dryly. “Do not tell me that you have taken to sending people to watch me?”

“I am a duke, Selina,” he said with that arrogant curl of his lip that seemed to have become more common in recent months. “I have my ways of getting information without resorting to underhanded tactics.”

Somehow, she knew that Martha was part of those ways. It wasn’t above her to keep sending messages to Stephen about the happenings around the family, even when he was supposed to be enjoying alone time with his wife.

Selina should have known that her brother was so used to playing a father figure for over a decade that he was less likely to drop such a role, even for a short vacation. The man was given to perfection with a predilection to being controlling.

Not that he would have needed to control Martha or instruct her to do anything. Her aunt was a natural gossip, and she was unlikely to keep quiet when Peter appeared and she saw a chance of realizing her dream of having Selina secure a good match. She was too excited to hold onto the news. Perhaps that was why she was deeply disappointed and speechless at the moment.

“I thought you had a goal to get married this Season? I had thought that the Earl was the answer to that prayer. What happened?” Stephen asked. This time, his tone was one of concern.

“I would like to know the answer to that as well,” Martha said, a note of anger in her tone. “You are more likely to end up a spinster now than secure another good match. You just had a chance at a great match. Tell me why you ruined it!”

“Because I have been lying to myself all this while. I thought I could sacrifice my heart for family and Society, but it is better this way. If I had married the Earl, I would be condemning him to life with a bitter woman because I want a love match. I have realized that it is better for me to be truthful to myself than to live a lie. If the price is spinsterhood, I will not complain. I am fairly tired of the pressure and pretense of the ton anyway.

“But finding love matches is often as difficult as finding a needle in a haystack. Perhaps I am one of those ladies who is destined never to marry. Perhaps it is best that I accept my fate and save myself all the trouble. I am too exhausted now to consider continuing the hunt for a husband. I will just try and find my way in this world as an unmarried woman. I am sure it will be tough, but it has to be better than an unhappy marriage, do you not think?”

Selina caught Elizabeth’s eyes, but she had to look away because the pity in them threatened to drive her to tears.

She should have known that Elizabeth would see through her bluster to the pain she was trying so hard to conceal.

Elizabeth knew that, even beneath her logic and cynicism, she was a young girl given to daydreams and romantic fantasies but was forced to toughen up by the circumstances surrounding her. She was too soft-hearted for her own good. That was why she had allowed herself to get attached to a man who had been clear that he wanted nothing to do with marriage from the start.

Perhaps she had been so blinded by the sweet feelings of first love that she had not realized she was setting herself up for heartbreak.

Now, she was left with the task of picking up the pieces, one jagged piece at a time. Somehow, she knew—even as she gathered the pieces—that she would never be whole again and that she might never be as she once was. Giving, trusting, and loving wholeheartedly without reservation. She hated Richard for taking that part of her away.

At some point during their conversation, Diana had left the room, but Selina had been so engrossed with her emotional struggles that she had not noticed. She looked up in surprise when she heard the sound of running feet outside the drawing room.

Diana was standing in the doorway, flushed and panting slightly, a bemused look on her face. She opened her mouth to speak, and the words that fell from her lips took some time to arrange themselves enough for Selina to understand.

“The Duke of Seymour is here.”

Perhaps the villain was not done torturing her and had come to complete his mission.