9. Cat
Chapter nine
Cat
W e couldn’t be in a mountain. Mountains didn’t look like this. This had to be a beautiful dream.
The walls of what was basically a subterranean city were light blue and silver. The tops and edges of the rocks, and even the decorative carved edges and motifs, were coated in a substance that seemed to be ash, but was firm to the touch and reflective like powdered snow.
Snow.
If one didn’t know any better, they’d think that this place was a winter wonderland, coated with snow and ice. At various points throughout the Silver Hall, there were shrubs bearing red berries and evergreen trees growing out of outcroppings in the rock, as if a forest was sprouting from the stones. If the angels couldn’t fly to the plants to tend to them, I wouldn’t have believed they could grow in a hall such as this.
Lights—such brilliant lights—poured into the hall through the massive window that towered above and plummeted below, making the entire space shine with a reflective glow. Ash—and snow?—were visible through the window, circling around in a constant dance.
Angels walked along paths and stairs and also flew through the air, darting through their home. Dressed in draping robes, the angels glided above us effortlessly, as majestic as any Renaissance artist’s dream. The angels’ flights called attention to the carvings on the walls, which were beautiful—yet made my skin turn cold. Harsh runes made of sharp edges and small circles lurked on the surfaces, which were also speckled with figures that at first glance seemed idyllic, surrounded as they were by elaborate snowflake and swirl motifs. But on a second look, the figures were grotesque in a rather baroque fashion, with some angels being depicted as rulers, and other creatures as the conquered … and consumed. Cannibal angels? That had to be just the style of art.
Still not over the grotesque angels, I looked down into the darkness and truly shuddered. The prison that lurked beneath the ground was now even more terrifying, a black pit that seemingly led nowhere. Who was down there? What would it take to merit that fate ?
This place appeared to be made of ice and snow, but in reality it was stone and ash. The angels were ethereal beings of beauty—and capable of unspeakable brutality.
Silv was right—I should’ve stayed far away.
“Cat?” Zariel asked, interrupting my thoughts. Cael had left, leaving us alone.
I pushed a strand of hair behind my ears and turned to face my host. He stood in the atrium, at home in this world of wintery rock, his metal-tipped wings spread behind him. A ray of sunlight worked through the windows, casting us in its glow and making the ash around us shine. My breath caught—I was trusting this angel to care for me, this beautiful, fearsome creature. “Yes?” I asked nervously.
“Truly, we need to go.”
That was right, he wanted to talk to me. I needed to stop thinking about the mountain and focus on him and my position here. Despite how unsettled I was, I couldn’t help the contentment that worked through me under his gaze. He stared at me with such intensity, as if he was inspecting everything. What was he doing to me? Why was I feeling this way? Was it this place? The excitement and the novelty? Or was it him, being near a creature from legend? It couldn’t be him personally—I barely knew his name.
I reached for his hand before I could think, and he clasped it and gave me a small smile, revealing a dimple in the corner of his mouth. Instantly a deep fire settled within me, begging for more. More of him .
I took a deep breath. What was going on? This was beyond a crush—this was need. An ill-timed physical need.
“A few minutes,” Zariel whispered to me, the press of his mouth against my ear, his delicious closeness, making me close my eyes. “That is all it will take, and I will explain everything.”
“Everything?”
“Yes. Including what you’re feeling for me.”
I stilled. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s alright.” He gave my hand a squeeze. “I feel it too. And I think I can explain it.”
While we walked, we passed angels who gave us curious—alright, horrified—glances, but no one stopped us, other than to ask if the Artists knew that I was there. Zariel told all of them that yes, they did, to which each angel gave a solemn nod, and a look that left me uneasy. More than one shot me a glower when Zariel wasn’t paying attention. Maybe I shouldn’t have come here. I really wasn’t wanted—I should’ve known better.
“Don’t worry,” Zariel said softly. “While I don’t know you, I know you.” We passed another group of angels and now could speak again, making our way over stairs and through tunnels. He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I will explain more.”
All I could do was take a breath, be patient, and wait for answers. My mind and my heart were dancing in every direction, from the shock of being in the mountain, the angels’ hostility, and the possibility of being sent home without seeing the books themselves. And then there was Zariel.
Zariel.
Because of him, I wasn’t afraid, but what I felt wasn’t normal. He basically told me that it wasn’t normal. I shouldn’t be feeling this for someone I just met, how he could be the piece that was missing in my life. Ridiculous. I wanted nothing more than to stare at him and talk to him and learn everything about him.
This wasn’t good.
“ T his is your room?” I asked Zariel.
The space was respectable, to put it lightly, with three rooms so that it was more an apartment than a dorm. The main area, in which we were standing, was made of the same silvery stone as the rest of the mountain’s interior, but the light in here was from lamps, which Zariel had quickly lit so that we weren’t standing in the dark. A couch was pressed against one wall, with a stack of books resting next to it on the floor. With another stack on the couch. And yet another nudged next to the door. I grinned before I could help myself—an angel, lounging and reading? Two fabric-covered chairs were arranged on either side of the couch, and I chose one of those to sit on, feeling the arms’ velvety coverings under my fingers. This space was a home. Besides books, there were indecipherable charts on the wall, a few portraits of angels who had an uncanny resemblance to Zariel, and a drawing of a rotund calico cat. Was she a pet? Angels had pets?
The walls were coated with more of that brilliant snow-like dust that swirled in designs, like ripples on a pond. Was this beautiful crystalline rock really the ash from the mountain, the same substance that burned me? I remained glued to my chair, unwilling to reach out and touch it. At least it gave the room a mystical silvery glow as the specks glinted in the light.
“This is our room,” Zariel corrected, turning in time to watch my reaction to the ashen wall. “And don’t worry, as long as you don’t smash the wall and breath in the dust, it won’t harm you.”
“Oh?” The reminder of our imminent room sharing banished my worries about the death glitter. “I didn’t think that we’d be—”
“Please. Let me explain.” Zariel sat on the other chair across from me, adjusting his posture so that his wings lightly graced the floor. The dim light caught his sharp features, a face so perfect that it made my breath escape every time he looked my way. His hands were strong, yet smooth, and for the first time I noticed that the tips of his fingers were stained with something dark—ink? Yes, he said he worked in the library. Normally, the thought of seeing the angels’ library and discovering endless secrets would’ve had me ecstatic—but the angel staring at me was grim enough to smash any joy.
Something was going on. There was that non-sensical pull again, the one that urged me to touch him. To hold him. To—
“We’re mates,” he suddenly said.
I shook my head. “Come again? Sorry, I think the flight made me more tired than I thought. I thought you said we were mates?”
“Yes.”
“… Can you tell me what that is?” Maybe that word meant something else to them.
Zariel squirmed. It was adorable, if a brooding angel dressed in black leather could be described as such a thing. “Among angels, if a pairing between a couple would be … beneficial, then it sparks something in our minds and souls. They become irresistible to each other. To the exclusion of anyone else.”
“Beneficial … like for children?” My stomach twisted, even as another—deeper—part of me stirred. Mate? I couldn’t have a mate. I needed to complete my dissertation and get my PhD. I didn’t have time for this. And there was also the small problem of being human, in a place that wasn’t exactly welcoming me with open arms and toothy smiles.
“Yes”?he grimaced?“children are the obvious goal.”
I frowned. “But not everyone likes the sex that could … result in children. ”
“There’s more than one way to be a parent,” Zariel replied. “When those pairings happen, the couple is encouraged to adopt orphans since it’s seen as nature’s way of ensuring their care. And such couples almost always do.” He swallowed hard. “Though, in our case, it seems to have happened for other reasons.”
I frowned. “What other reasons?” We couldn’t have children. I wasn’t even thirty, I was still in school, and I had a hard enough time remembering to use milk before it spoiled.
He paused for a long moment before answering. “We angels are beings that are a bit more attuned to other creatures’ magics. I personally think that this mating bond is something resulting from that—magic that we angels manipulated that has gone out of control. Maybe it was triggered by the worlds shifting. Like the magic that allows us to be in this mountain—it’s possible that the location change altered the fundamental aspects of the magic.”
Magic? Mate? I was here for the library, not a man. Especially not one with feathers.
Unfortunately, my rebellious heart jumped and I had to force back a smile of pleasure. So Zariel was trying to tell me that he found me irresistible? How did I feel about that?
Fine. Alright, better than fine.
I couldn’t indulge such thoughts any further if I wanted to keep my pride, but my heart was … empty. Like something was supposed to be there and wasn’t .
My eyes found his supple lips, and for the first time I noticed that this room smelled of him, and at that same instant an incessant throbbing started in my core. Another side effect of the mating bond? I didn’t smell anything when I walked in, but now I was almost giddy from the sensation of him surrounding me.
Oh no.
“But I’m human,” I whispered, crossing my legs.
“I know.” Zariel sighed. “That’s the dilemma. Among our people, the mating bond is respected and encouraged. Revered, even. We’d be considered practically married the instant we recognized it. But you … I will not pretend that this will be easy for you, if you decide to stay.”
“How so?”
“A mating bond with an angel has never happened to anyone who wasn’t an angel before.” Zariel frowned. “That I know of. I haven’t had a chance to do any research before this. Like I said, maybe our bond is a side effect of the worlds merging. And offhand I can think of a few writers who might know something, and maybe a few other archives, something that can speak to the effect of shifting magnetic poles on the unity of magic with physical bodies …” He continued speaking in the same vein, shifting the topic to directional orientation, atmospheric make-up, and even astronomical influences. I understood nothing.
I held back a grin, despite everything. He was nervous and rambling, seemingly unable to look me in the eyes. At least if I was in this situation—and even if this wasn’t the research trip I had planned—I wasn’t going to be alone in my confusion. Nor would I be alone in resisting the ridiculous urge to remove the clothing that suddenly felt far too stifling. But I needed clarification.
“So, you … love me?” I asked once his rambling came to a lull. “Isn’t that what this means?”
He sighed and clenched his fists on his lap. Black hair covered his ears, the top of his head a delightful mess from the flight that I wanted to run my fingers through. “Cat,” Zariel said, “as I said earlier, I don’t know you. It’s impossible for me to love you. But, yes, I do find you irresistible, to the exclusion of reason. What I can promise is that I will protect you. I will treasure you. And I absolutely want to know everything about you that I possibly can. I truly have no intention of taking the bond further than friendship, but that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy getting to know you.”
I let out a long breath and chuckled, even as the heady pleasure settled. “Oh, that’s a relief. I feel the same way. I mean, I find you oddly attractive, but as you said, it’s impossible for these feelings to be anything deeper. We’re both scholars, in our own way, and know better than to give much credence to these things, and—” Alright, maybe Zariel wasn’t alone in his nervous rambling.
And then we locked eyes and I stopped talking, an eternity looking back at me. A visible emotion stirred within him, a feeling that was echoed by my own heart. I didn’t know him. But I wanted to know everything. I didn’t love him, but I desperately wanted the chance to try, the chance to see what could happen. Possibilities opened before me, and the thought of slamming them shut forever was enough to make my throat clench. Was he really my mate? Could he be? Was this just nature, acting in ways that made no sense and beyond our control? I didn’t care. I wanted to just sit forever with him looking at me like this , like I was absolutely perfect and his dearest treasure.
I was so lost that I chided myself for missing the most interesting part of the conversation.
“Wait,” I said, “what magic lets you fly here? To the mountain.”
Zariel frowned. “There’s no point in hiding it since you’re here and you’ll discover it eventually. But to be able to fly around this mountain, and handle the ash, we have to have these.” Zariel shifted his leathers and lifted his shirt, revealing a series of runes that were burning in his skin along his waistband like a fiery belt. No, not burned like a brand—burned as if a flame was within him. The runes, similar to the ones in the hall, glowed bright red, as if embers were pressed under his skin, a flame burning under the surface. Each as tall and thick as one of my fingers, the runes swirled and curved, following his hips.
What did the runes mean? What did they all do ?
“Fire,” I said in awe. Without noticing, I had moved, practically falling off my chair, consumed by the miracle before me.
“Magic,” he gently corrected.
“Do they hurt?” Jerked back to reality, I leaned back in my seat, gripping the arms.
“Not always, and not usually.” Zariel tugged his shirt back down. “And they’re a small price to pay for the magic they give.”
Silv didn’t say a thing about fiery flesh runes. Did he know about this?
“Are all of those runes just so you can fly around the mountain?”
“No. I have one for small illusions, as you saw at the summit. One is for the Ashen Mountain, to fly outside it, and I also have one to enhance my memory.” A memory booster? The academic in me was jealous.
“How do they work?” I asked. My dissertation was practically writing itself, and thinking about the dissertation let me forget about the perfectly carved abs that were under the runes. “How do you get them? Is there a limit to how many you can have?”
He quirked up an eyebrow. “An inquisitive thing, aren’t you?”
“You tricked me into coming here by appealing to my intellectual side.” I crossed my arms and met his challenge. “ I’m hardly going to run away with an angel I just met because he’s handsome.”
He smiled. “You think I’m handsome?”
“That’s not the point.”
“I disagree, and I’ll answer every question you have that I’m allowed to.” The smile slowly melted from his face. “Unfortunately, before we can do that, we need to prepare for when the Artists return. Specifically, what they might do or require of you. There are some things I need to tell you.”