21. Cat
Chapter twenty-one
Cat
A ngels claimed their mates outside, in the air.
This meant that we had to make our way out of the Ashen Mountain, every long, painful step. Around other angels. Down halls and tunnels. It was so far away. I was certain everyone could see the desire on our faces and knew what we were doing, his hand in mine my only anchor as we walked—flying only got us so far in the mountain. No matter what beauty we passed in the now-familiar wintery halls, I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen once we were outside. How did he plan to take me, when I couldn’t fly? What about the ash?
I didn’t care. My core throbbed, the slickness already hot against my thighs. I wanted whatever would bring us together the soonest. At this point I’d let him take me in the tunnel, behind a bookshelf, anything .
And I knew he wouldn’t let anything hurt me. Never.
With his cloak draped around me, his scent filling every breath, we walked through the halls that were far from abandoned, yet no one paid us any mind. Thank goodness. By this point I had accepted that I was far beyond the angels’ concerns. No, tonight I was glad of it. This was not the time I wanted to be stopped by Cael, or anyone else.
Zariel’s soothing hand squeezed mine tighter as my heart raced both from excitement and nerves. His expression gave nothing away, nothing that indicated what we were about to do. Would the angels care that we were about to be mates in truth? Probably not, or, at any rate, they wouldn’t in a way that would make it back to me. They knew we had been sharing a room these past nights—what did they care what happened? Zariel already told me that it was impossible for angels to have children in this world, so that wasn’t a concern.
After passing through several long stretches of tunnels, the two of us reached a door that was seemingly made from stone, etched with runes of some language unknown. The wind howled, audible even here. Outside was winter in truth, and not the temperate climate I had become used to in the library. I wrapped the cloak tighter around myself. At this height, it was going to be cold once we were outside. Very cold. I eyed Zariel’s bare shoulders, his tunic wrapped loosely around him .
“Don’t worry about me,” he said, guessing what I was thinking. “I told you—our bodies run warmer, because we were made to live and fly at such heights.”
“Alright.”
He pushed against the door for a moment and then turned to face me. “We don’t have to,” he said, wearing a new determined expression. “Doing this can make complications for us. Ones I should’ve mentioned sooner.”
“How so?”
He visibly swallowed. “When angels give in to a mate bond, they find it hard to leave their partner’s side. The effect usually lessens over time, but it can be quite intense at first. You’re human, and I don’t know what the effects will be.”
“I’ll be fine,” I assured him.
“You may not want to leave me after this.”
Too late. I already didn’t want to leave him. This was supposed to be temporary, in every respect. But why was it temporary?
… I knew why. One of us would have to give up everything. Though that didn’t make it any easier.
“When I leave, I’d rather have this time with you, and know that we made the most of it, no matter what happens,” I said truthfully. “But what about you—won’t it be too hard on you to say goodbye?”
His arm trembled as if he were restraining himself. “Yes,” he said. “I may not ever be able to let you go. Even if I’m forced to.” A new fear clouded my heart—Zariel had mentioned coming with me, leaving the Ashen Mountain for good. But what if the Artists didn’t allow it? What if they didn’t want an angel living with the humans? There was a whole prison under the mountain that could keep him away from me.
“Then maybe we shouldn’t—”
“This is my choice to make,” he said, looking me in the eyes. “And I want to do this.”
Smoothly, he moved and pressed me against him, wrapping me in his arms as if someone were trying to take me away this instant. A firestorm broke out on my skin, as if we never stopped touching in the bedroom, just as ravenous. Everywhere he touched inflamed me further, begging him to go further. More. I needed more. This had to be the mate bond, there was no other explanation for this , how quickly I could go from yearning to delirious with desire, but I didn’t care. Mate bond or no, I was feeling this , and I was going to take it to whatever end.
“Catalina,” he whispered when his lips broke away from mine.
“Let’s go,” I said, my whole-body pulsating, my legs weak. “Show me everything.”
Fumbling with his arm behind him, Zariel pushed open the door, revealing the edge of a cliff that showed a drop that was hundreds of feet to the rocky ground below. Snow and ash whirled by in the distance, caught by the mountain currents and tossed higher into the air. Of course, angels wouldn’t have a staircase—their doors led off a cliff. But Zariel was right—the ash was further away here. We could fly without it burning me.
Before I could say another word, he pressed me even tighter against him, and I felt nothing but his arms wrapped around me and the wind through my hair as we crept outside. I gripped his tunic, clutching onto him with everything I had, and he laughed, a musical sound that carried over the rush of air and my panicked heart.
“Are you alright?” he asked, guiding me fully out onto the ledge. “Ledge” was generous for where we were standing—there was a whole two feet from us and falling to my quick death. The mountain splayed underneath and above us, a towering monument of snow and ash. I had been around the two enough to tell what was ash and what was snow, as the former glittered more brightly in the moonlight. At this height, both were present, shading the mountain with shades of glistening white. Here, away from the ashen clouds, the stars lurked above us, and since the clouds blocked the view of New Jersey, we could pretend that we were the only people in the world. My stomach heaved, and the world shifted. Alright, maybe I wasn’t great with heights.
I tilted my head back, looking up. Only up. At him. “I think I’m alright? As long as I don’t look down.”
“You should,” he said, his glorious wings spread behind him as he closed the door and positioned himself between me and the edge, holding me tightly. “The world doesn’t look much better than this. And don’t worry—I’m being careful to avoid the ash. I know where the currents don’t go.”
With one last breath, he lifted an arm to support my legs and jumped. We fell—and then we soared.
The Ashen Mountain spread to one side of us, no less impressive for flying so close to it. Around us were the clouds of ash, and as promised, it did not come near enough to harm. Instead, the air glittered, the perpetual snow and ash blanketing the mountain. Thick layers of snow and towering evergreens lined the mountainsides, even at this height. I wondered how they were able to live here, with no summer and the ash, but plants in their world often followed different rules. I took in the mountain face, spotting some of the library’s windows, and for the first time I realized just how much higher in the mountain the library went than we normally did. It could take years for me to see everything, and that wasn’t counting the city that was a prison under the ground.
A cleft in the mountains seemed to be what maneuvered the wind and stopped the ash from getting close, and it was there that Zariel took us, a place where the ashen clouds wouldn’t go, a place that was hidden from the view of the hundreds, if not thousands of windows that lined the stone. The pine trees were even thicker here, blocking everything, including the harshest of the winds.
“Here,” he said, gently setting me down on a rock in a gash in the mountain, where the stone walls folded into a massive v that could’ve held a couple skyscrapers. The snow rested around us, somehow little to no ash in sight, other than what was in the clouds hovering high above us. I had no idea how high up we were—a thousand feet, maybe? Possibly two? Or more? I had to lean my head fully back to see the top of the mountain, and we were nowhere near its crest. I breathed in the heavy, fresh scent of the pine, and noticed a couple unusual trees that bore white berries like little pearls, another sign that everything here had truly come from another world.
“Rest,” he said to me, rubbing my back gently.
I blinked hard. “That was … that was …”
“Terrifying?” he offered.
“Perfect.”
He smiled and sat next to me, sheltering us under his wings, making a cocoon where there was nothing but him and me, us against the cold night. There, pressed under his body, I warmed quickly, despite the frigid rock beneath us. As I had noticed earlier, he ran very warm. I settled next to him, trying to ignore how his firm hand graced my sides. No, relishing how they graced my sides. I was past the point of denying how I felt, and I wanted to feel everything. His wings were gentle against my skin, tapping my back and sides, and I traced them, taking my time to admire their silken beauty, and the firm metallic tips that graced each one.
“You weren’t ready to fly,” he said. “I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you—”
“If that’s how you see the world, I think I can get used to it,” I said, giving him a reassuring grin, anything to wipe the concern off his features. His hands rubbed my back, reigniting that early fire, one that was done being ignored. With him so close to me, I couldn’t stop anticipating the next touch. The next kiss. “In fact, I think I’d still like to try flying again tonight, if you’re willing to …”
A broad smile spread across his face. “Of course. I’d love nothing more.” His gaze darkened in a way that made my thighs clench. “But there are other matters to attend to first.”
He leaned forward and consumed me with his lips, his delicious kiss stirring that fresh fire within me. With one hand holding me upright against the cold stone, I used the other to caress his face, guiding him closer to me. When I nibbled on his bottom lip he growled, moving me so that I sat on his lap, his wings spread out around us, keeping us warm against the wind. His member jutted against my core, prodding against me, only a couple layers of fabric separating us. I ground against it through our clothes, and smiled at the resulting hiss as he lightly gyrated against me.
“No one will see us?” I asked, right as his mouth worked its way down my neck and one of his hands went back and forth between my breasts, teasing them gently.
“No. I know where we can go.” He adjusted the neckline of my dress and pulled it down, exposing my breasts to his gaze. “These are for me to see. And me alone. ”
He parted his robes, and the runes on his stomach illuminated in the dark, like molten embers under his skin. The light cast against his perfect features, highlighting them in flames and shadows, giving us both enough light to see in the darkness created by his wings. It was him. His magic, his body, everything that made him— him . And I couldn’t get enough.
Attending first one breast and then another, he rubbed and pinched them lightly in turn. I whispered his name, blessing and cursing the mate bond that sung to have him so close, and the fact that I was finally giving in. I didn’t ask for this, but it gave me everything that I didn’t know I desired. That I needed.
His hands worked over me, brushing and teasing the sensitive parts of my skin under my robes, a dance designed to bring me to the cusp of pleasure—just for him to stop and bring me back to painful reality again. Each movement stirred me further, sending a tight coil into my greedy core that wanted more, so much more. Each time he found a new area of me to explore, it made me all too aware that something was missing. He was missing.
“Perfect,” he whispered, his eyes roaming my bare chest. “Absolutely perfect. And mine.” He shifted, and his length swelled against me—those annoying layers of fabric were still between us. My hands wrapped into his hair, twirling the dark strands around my fingers, and then I pulled him against me—his hot, bare skin colliding with mine. I let out a sigh of contentment. This was how it was supposed to be. Together. We gently explored each other, our hands roaming and touching places on each other’s bodies for the first time, and with each discovery the ache of desire grew, because it meant I knew more of him. The muscles on his shoulders. A scar on his chest.
“Flying accident when I was a toddler,” he said with a smirk when I traced the little white line.
Then I traced a new line from his neck, to his chest, to his abdomen, each indentation making my fingers dance over his body.
“Let me touch you,” he said.
“You are touching me,” I teased.
“You know what I mean.” He gave me a long kiss, as if he were going to consume me, but then he broke away suddenly. “The part of you that’s yearning for me.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’m desperate for you.” He kissed me. “And I can feel the way you’re rubbing against me.”
Obligingly, I pulled up my skirts and rested entirely bare on his lap, the fabric of his robes smooth against my tender skin, showing him all of me. After a short pause he slowly ran a path with his fingers along my bare thighs and stared at me with the intensity he normally devoted to his manuscripts, as if he was savoring every new inch, in a slow and painful order. “You smell so sweet,” he said with a sigh.
“Good?”
“No.” He smiled and chuckled. “You don’t understand—we don’t typically smell others like this—our sense of smell isn’t that strong. But you, I would know you anywhere by this alone. It tells me that you’re mine.” He reached a hand between my legs, making me gasp. “As is this.”
Without warning, two of his fingers delved within me. With a small cry I adjusted and let him enter me deeper, as far as he could go. The discomfort at their entry quickly gave way to a heady fullness. “Zariel,” I cried, clenching around him and leaning forward against his shoulder, sliding over his fingers, taking every bit of what he was giving me.
“This is just a taste,” he said, working his thumb on the outside of me, rubbing it over my clit. His other hand grabbed my ass, moving me to where he’d be able to manage me best. My thigh brushed against his member, making me think of what was coming next. If what I could feel was any indication, I would need every bit of what he was doing in order to take him.
“You’re so slick,” he said in my ear, his words unsteady, “and I can’t wait to have you stretched around me.” Was this the same formal angel who had spent all those hours with me, discussing politics, classics, and philosophy? Now he was someone else, someone completely overcome with desire.
And I loved it.
When I reached my hand between his legs and his still-covered cock, he bumped my hand aside before I could even touch with more than just the tips of my fingers. “No,” he said, determined. “This time, it’s for you.”
“What about you?”
He nibbled at my ear, right when he worked yet another finger into me. My wetness was spreading, making it very clear how I felt, and how much I still craved. “Don’t worry,” he said softly, “all of this is for me. Hearing your cries, feeling you. All of it.”
His clever fingers worked harder, pulsating in me and winding around my clit. He knew my body so well. Too well. With him, I burned. Even in this world of winter and ash, I burned.
“Zariel,” I moaned, throwing my head back against his feathered wings, which braced me. The metal tips pricked my skin, a delicious friction that reminded me exactly where I was. Who I was with. My body cried out for him, knowing that us being together was right , it was exactly where I belonged.
And I was starved of him.
Suddenly he removed his hand, leaving a bitter emptiness where he had been. Those nimble fingers brushed aside his tunic revealing himself— all of himself—taut and ready. In this dim light I was able to make out every curve and angle, the fact that he stretched me with his fingers was definitely for a reason—his size was proportional to his height. Was I going to be able to handle all of him? I was going to find out. Then something else caught my attention .
At the base of his member were small white feathers instead of hair, a light down that rested on his skin. At the top of it all, his runes burned, reminding me that this man I was with wasn’t human, no matter how easy it was to forget.
“Can I?” I asked, reaching a trembling hand towards him.
“Of course.”
Gently, I stroked the small feathers that were around his cock, biting back a smile as he shuddered. “I didn’t know about this,” I said.
“I—couldn’t think of a good time to mention it,” he said. “Do they bother you?”
“Not at all.” And it didn’t. It surprised me, but they were so soft they may as well have been hair.
That was enough. There was something far more important for me to pay attention to. With a certain movement I gripped his hard shaft, moving my hand up and down, careful to adjust my hold so that I was able to smoothly slide. His cock was extra warm—was Zariel getting even warmer? Or was it both of us, sheltered in his wings?
Without thinking, I moved and hovered over him, positioning myself and rubbing my wetness over the tip. He whispered my name like a prayer as I lowered myself onto him, inch by inch as he stretched and filled me. Bit by bit by bit.
I groaned. His hands didn’t do nearly enough to prepare me for him—not nearly enough. But any discomfort quickly faded as it was replaced with a perfect fullness. This was … this was …
Finally, I finished sheathing myself on him and rested on his hips. Now there was no separation between us, nothing to keep us apart.
Zariel’s eyes were locked on me, his mouth opened a tiny bit as he watched me move on him. “I wish you could feel how perfect you are to me,” he whispered, moving his hips just enough to send jolts of pleasure through my core. “You gripping me—around me.” He jutted harder. “Perfect.”
I moaned, beyond capable of any other reaction. Perfect to him? What about what he was doing to me?
Every bit of me, from my core to the tips of my fingers sang. He barely moved, and already the pleasure within me was building to a crescendo, ready to overtake me at the slightest touch. The tension and desire of the last few weeks slammed into me at once, pushing me to the edge. I had him, and it wasn’t enough. I needed everything.
As if he knew what I was feeling, he reached for my breasts, massaging them—and then he moved in a languid rhythm, using one hand to minister to my clit. Instantly my pleasure spiked, threatening to make me come undone.
“I’m going to come,” I said with a whimper. “Too soon.” Impossibly soon.
“Never,” he said and bit my lip. “There will be more. So much more. It’s the bond—enjoy it. ”
“Zariel,” I cried out, my release overtaking me. Seconds stretched into a glorious eternity as I lost myself within him, this feeling, this . Zariel pressed his head against my neck, placing tender kisses as I clenched around him in a steady rhythm.
Who cared that there was a mate bond, that what I initially felt for him wasn’t my own feelings? It gave me him, and what we had was real.
When my orgasm faded and I collapsed against him, the heated desire grew yet again. More. I needed more. Already. How was this happening—I just came, and already my body was coiling, preparing again. Out of instinct I rubbed against him, seeking that desperate relief. A guttural moan escaped my lips as he moved in me with a stronger rhythm, yet he was restrained. Measured. He was savoring this, drawing it out as much as possible, studying my reaction to him with the dedication of any of his other research.
“Remember I told you I would take you like angels claimed their mates?” he said, his hips thrusting beneath me, driving me harder onto him. Now that I was stretched, and I had taken my pleasure once, he was moving me with far less restraint, giving a small hint of exactly what he was holding back.
“Yes,” I said. How could I forget?
“May I?”
“I’ll fall,” I rushed out between the slick thrusts .
“No, you won’t,” he said. “And I’ll protect you—I will not let you feel any discomfort this night. I promise. But let’s get a little more clothing on you first, as much as I don’t want you to.”
I grinned. He was right, I’d freeze as we flew. Though I found it hard to care. As long as he didn’t stop thrusting, he could do whatever he wanted. I obeyed, moving my dress back up to my shoulders, tugging my cloak around me, savoring feeling every bit of his hard length delving into me.
He suddenly stilled, holding me against him, still buried deep inside.
And then we flew.
Moments later the pine trees and bushes were small beneath us, the city near the mountain smaller still. Yet again I saw why he brought me here—we were in a bubble created by the mountain’s sides, where the ashen clouds were blocked by the mountain and its currents and did not come here. In the place he was taking me, I was able to enjoy the clouds, air, and snow, and not have to battle the fiery ash invading my skin.
I had little time to wonder at the view, because Zariel was thrusting within me—the friction from his torso rubbing against my clit, dragging me to a another release. I didn’t care that I was in the air. I didn’t care that it was cold. Zariel’s body kept me warm, his wings letting us glide around the mountains, his arms mastering me and positioning me so that I pounded against him as thoroughly as if he were on the ground.
He thrusted with each beat of his wings, and the tension grew inside me, a drum beat growing louder in my ears.
“Grip around my neck,” he said. I obeyed, reaching my hand around, pushing aside his flowing hair.
One hand cupped and gripped each side of my bare ass, and, far stronger than any human, he moved me against him, meeting each of his thrusts, while holding me solidly in place. I looked down between us. My dress blew up just enough that I could see a glimpse of him sliding in and out, and beyond that, the small world underneath.
His eyes were closed, squeezing extra hard each time he slammed into me. Carefully, I reached up and kissed him, and was met with an almost feral sound when he kissed me back, biting my lip. There was no doubt about it—I was being completely and utterly claimed. Zariel kept up his steady movements as the building pleasure gathered within me, throughout my core, my limbs, and my release which would overtake me again. Soon.
“Cat.”
I answered him by kissing his neck, his hair and mine tangling and blowing across our faces. His wings moved steadily behind him, each beat echoing like thunder. The stars were above us, and everything else was below and far away. Nothing else mattered .
His breath was heavy in my ear, and he let out deep moans punctuated with my name. Then he spilled into me with a heavy groan, right as my climax overtook me a second time. My pleasure fused into his, and for a moment I felt as if I could sense his body, his limbs, so that we were in truth one.
As he came, his wings set into a glide, and we moved silently through the crystalline night air, catching our breath. We did not speak. There was nothing that needed to be said.
Whatever we had done, it had changed everything.