Abyss (Elements of Rapture Book 4)

22. Hudson

HUDSON

“Ready to look like the hot father-of-the-bride, big daddy?”

I lift my brow, giving her the glare she’s accustomed to. “What have I told you about calling me that?”

Piper giggles, leading me to her area of the salon. “That I should say it with a moan.”

I hold back my eye-roll. The woman is a shameless flirt, and if I didn’t know without a shadow of a doubt that it was all harmless, luxury men’s salon or not, I wouldn’t drive an hour to see her almost every three weeks. This time just happens to be right before Maddy’s wedding weekend.

In the five years I’ve been coming here, Piper and I have become friends. She’s around Maddy’s age and just as smart and good-natured. And while two of her best friends work alongside her as stylists, she’s the only one I allow to cut my hair. But that’s not a shocker, given routine and consistency could be my middle names.

Piper waves me over to the chair in front of the shampoo bowl, and after taking my seat, I take off my shoes to place my feet into the massager in front of it.

“You know the drill, big guy: head and shoulder massage, shampoo and rinse, then we cut and style your thick, beautiful hair.” I hear her shuffle behind me as I get comfortable in my chair. “Want me to turn on a game or anything on T.V.?”

I shake my head. “Too bad I have to wait a few more months before hockey is back on. Did you congratulate your brother on the Stanley Cup win for me?”

Piper turns my chair so my back is to her before her fingers dig into my shoulders, working into each knot. Her brother is Rowan ‘Slick’ Parker, defenseman for the Boston Bolts and one hell of a hockey player. His life’s been plastered all over the news lately after he proposed to his girlfriend at the last winning game where the Bolts took home the Stanley. Apparently, she used to be his physical therapist, but I don’t keep up with gossip mills; I’d rather be watching the game instead.

“I did. Can’t believe he won his first Stanley and gave me a future sister-in-law, all in one night!” She rolls her knuckles into a particularly tense spot on my neck, making me exhale harshly. “Your shoulders are wound up like coils, big daddy. Worse than the last time I saw you. You stressed about Maddy’s wedding?”

I close my eyes, trying to loosen my shoulders the best I can, but as soon as I do, the face of my stress pops into my head.

I take another deep breath, hoping to guide my thoughts elsewhere, but it’s no use.

The woman is under my skin, seeping into my bones and places I haven’t ever considered letting anyone into. Places that have been vacant for far too long. Places I never wanted to fill in the first place.

But fuck if she’s not anything but determined.

The way her eyes glistened when she looked up from her phone a few nights ago when one of her students was in trouble. She was holding back tears, and it made my chest constrict like I was being wound up from the inside. I hated that look on her face. It didn’t matter that I had to fly out first thing in the morning; all I knew was I’d cancel anything—stop fucking time if I had to—to get that look off her face.

Then the way she took those shallow breaths, conjuring up all her courage before walking into the shed . . .

Given the multitude of nightlights in my condo, there are clearly reasons she’s scared of the dark—reasons she hasn’t felt comfortable telling me—and I hate that she can’t tell me. That she won’t tell me.

Watching the way her hand trembled and her shoulders tightened before she opened the shed door made me want to pull her to me, lay my lips on her forehead, and convince her that I’d never let anything happen to her. Never.

But I also knew I couldn’t say words I couldn’t follow through on, because the fact was, she was going to be away from me after this summer and there was no point in hoping I’d be able to protect her from everything.

But fuck, I wanted to.

“You still with me, big guy?”

Piper’s voice streams into my consciousness, and I open my eyes just as she turns my chair so I can lay my head back into the shampoo bowl.

“Yeah, I’m still here.”

“Want to talk about what’s on your mind? You know I don’t charge extra for therapy.” She giggles, turning on the water and adjusting the temperature.

I make some sort of non-committal response but don’t answer.

What would I tell her, anyway? And where would I even start?

Aside from the fact that I haven’t quite reconciled what’s on my mind with how I’m feeling, I also don’t know if I’m ready to bring it all to light through words.

Piper massages the shampoo into my hair, clearly not deterred by my silence. “So, are you all in your head today because of Maddy’s wedding or . . .?”

I lay my hands over my stomach and close my eyes. “Or.”

“Ah,” she responds with a chuckle, as if my one-word response solved a mystery she’d been trying to solve. “You know, I’ve been waiting a long time for you to tell me about an ‘or’.”

“You’ll be waiting a lot longer then.” The spray of warm water around my head, along with the scent of the shampoo she’s using, has a few of those coiled muscles relaxing around my neck.

“Oh, come on, big daddy. Don’t leave me hanging. Tell me about her.”

“No.”

“If she’s got you this wound up, she’s gotta be worth it. I mean, those knots in your neck can only be loosened with a good f—”

“Piper.”

“What?” She laughs. “I was going to say ‘with a good frolic in the park’.”

I give her a deadpan look from my position under her on the bowl. We both know damn well that wasn’t what she was going to say.

Piper flashes her teeth at me, her long sandy-brown hair laying on both sides of her shoulders. “You’re right. I was going to say ‘a good fucking.’”

I shake my head, biting back my smile.

“What’s she like?” she asks, toweling my hair after the rinse.

I’m debating on telling her that I’m not having this conversation with her when the word, “perfect,” slips out of my mouth, as if it was awaiting the right opportunity to do so. Both Piper and I freeze, both of us afraid to speak for a long moment.

She unwraps the towel from my head and comes to stand in front of me with both hands on her hips. “Hudson ‘Big Daddy’ Case, are you in love with someone?”

My brows furrow so hard, I’m pretty sure they touch in the middle. “Most definitely not. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Piper’s smile spans her lower face, her eyes glittering like a spangled sky. “Oh my hotdogs! The one and only Mr. Frownsalot is in love!”

I get off the chair and walk over to the one in front of the mirror where she’ll be clipping my hair and prattling off for the next twenty fucking minutes, wondering why I even came here. “Finish cutting my hair for the last time. I’ll be finding a new stylist.”

“No, you won’t.” She snickers. Why? Because, for whatever reason, none of the women in my life take me seriously. The fucking world might think twice about approaching me, but not the women in my life.

Including the one who I’m definitely not in love with.

“Now,” she starts back up again once she’s got the black nylon cape around my neck, “is she going to be at the wedding this weekend?” When I give her no indication of a response, she continues with her assumption. “Ah, so she is. Are you taking her as your date?”

“No,” I snap, feeling a sharp searing sensation in my chest recalling the text I got from my daughter about Kavi being excited to meet Brie’s friend.

The thought of Kavi meeting someone unlocked a rabid beast within me. That, and all the sass she gave me after that, led to a kiss—a world-shifting moment—I couldn’t stop thinking about for days.

I turn my head, avoiding Piper’s eyes in the mirror. Piper turns it back, telling me to look ahead and to hold still, pulling some hair in between her fingers and clipping it.

“Got it,” she says as if she’s figured it all out with my one-word response. “So, you’re not taking her as your date. And I can only assume that’s because either she has no idea you’re into her or you’re not ready for everyone else to know.”

My jaw ticks. “Can you just do your fucking job?”

Piper presses the smile she’s trying hard not to release between her lips. Her eyes bounce around my face in the mirror, searching. “Oh my God. Does she know?”

“No,” I huff. “There’s nothing to know. We just had . . .” Fuck, I feel like a prisoner under this cape.

Piper’s mouth drops open, her hands freezing over me like she’s already piecing it together.

I don’t know why I feel the need to tell her anything more, but clearly, I have no restraint today. “We just slept together once, and it’ll stay that way.”

She drops the hand with scissors to her side. “But why? It’s clear you like her.”

My stomach sours. “She’s moving at the end of the summer.”

“So? That’s not a reason not to see where things go.”

I cup my knees under the cape and massage them with barely restrained frustration. “Can you just cut my hair already?”

Piper ignores me. “Is she bringing a date to the wedding?”

“No, but Maddy and Brie have someone for her to meet—one of Brie’s friends.” My molars grind, and right when I look at myself in the mirror, I see my nostrils flare. And so does Piper.

“Wait a minute . . .” She blinks rapidly, like a flickering television. “One of Brie’s friends? Maddy and Brie know her?” She pauses, and I feel the weight of her conclusions like boulders over me. So much for that shoulder massage. “How old is this chick?”

I swallow, but don’t respond.

Piper squeals out a laugh, putting together whatever it is she thinks she’s figured out. “Oh my goodness! If this isn’t the most riveting story I’ve heard all day.” She wipes the corner of her eye with the heel of her hand before finally getting to my hair again. “God, what I’d do to be a fly on the wall at this wedding.”

“Looking sharp, buddy!”

My friend Dev’s voice has my gaze disconnecting from my admin. She’s in a blush pink dress, sitting in the third row, while guests gather around her taking their seats. It’s as if she doesn’t realize where she is, because for the past fifteen minutes that I’ve been watching her from my spot at the backdoor of our farmhouse while waiting for Maddy, Kavi’s done nothing but look at her hands in her lap. And I bet, though I can’t see it from here, she’s playing with that silver ring of hers like she always seems to do when she’s thinking.

I turn to shake Dev’s hand. “Good to see you, Dev.”

“Killer tux and a new haircut. You sure it’s your daughter who’s getting married today and not you?”

Dev’s an executive at his father’s multi-billion-dollar tech company, positioned to be taking over as CEO in the next year or so. He’s one of the most hardworking and astute people I know, and unlike many of the Silicon Valley assholes I’ve met over the course of my time in the Bay, he’s also a solid guy—humble and possibly one of the most generous people I’ve ever met.

I wouldn’t say he and I are as close as I am with Garrett, but Dev has always been someone I can rely on in a pinch, especially when it comes to getting objective business advice. We’ve always held each other in high regard and mutual admiration, which is why I make it a point to meet with him every couple of months to talk business and investments.

Incidentally, the last time we met up also happened to be the day I met Kavi, when I left my own restaurant drenched with iced water, trying to conceal both an enormous boner and a headache.

I eye Dev’s perfectly-combed hair, but decide to rib him back because that’s just how our friendship has been since we met at a business event years ago. “By the looks of your shaggy-ass mane, you might need to go see my hair stylist.”

He barks out a laugh. “I mean, if she can work the kind of magic to make your ugly mug look halfway camera-ready, then yeah, I might need to.”

“Fuck you,” I say without an ounce of malice before leaning around him, realizing he’s alone. “Where’s Natalia?”

It’s unlike Dev to come to an event like this without his long-time girlfriend. And though he’s always had tongues wagging around him—what with him being one of the richest and influential men on the planet—he’s been off the market for quite some time.

“Uh . . .” His shoulders sag, his lips flattening to a straight line on his face. “Natalia and I decided to part ways, unfortunately. This all happened recently, and I didn’t have a chance to catch you up. I felt terrible telling Madison about the last-minute cancellation, but . . .” He clears his throat. “Both Natalia and I thought it would be best if I just attended alone.”

I’m sure my widened eyes convey my surprise, but seeing my friend’s chagrin, I don’t press him for details. He’ll tell me more when, and if, he feels the need to. “I’m sorry to hear that, man. Maddy and Brie will appreciate you being here, though.”

Before anything more can be said, both Dev and I turn at the clicking of heels on the tiled floor behind us to see Maddy rushing over in her wedding dress.

Dev congratulates her, placing a kiss on her cheek, before squeezing my shoulder and making his way toward the other guests outside. My eyes, however, are affixed on my daughter.

She looks . . .

I’m at a loss for words to describe the emotion bubbling inside my chest. I’ve looked forward to this day for so long—to watch my little girl walk down the aisle in her wedding dress and take a leap of faith with her future life partner—but in some ways it isn’t a day I was prepared for, either. I wasn’t prepared for this entanglement of pride and protectiveness. This feeling of knowing I raised her to be fierce and independent, but having this instinctual concern for her wellbeing and happiness, too.

Is this what those people meant when they told me it’s always a bittersweet moment for the bride’s father?

I blink through the sentiment, making my eyes glassy as I take in my daughter. She’s always been beautiful, whether she was in messy pigtails or muddy shorts and farm boots, but today she’s shining bright enough to make a sea of stars disappear into the background.

“Oh, come on, Dad.” Maddy grasps my hand, much like she used to as a little girl. Her eyes glisten, too, despite her attempt to seem unaffected. “You can’t become a sap on me now. I compare you to war generals and dictators. Don’t disappoint me, Pops.”

“You’re a little shit, you know that?” I lob back at her, my words getting caught somewhere in my throat. “But—” My own inhale of breath catches me off-guard. “You look beautiful, Maddy. Brie is a lucky girl, and let me say it once more—”

“I know, Dad.” Maddy loops her arm with mine, carrying her wildflower bouquet in the other hand. “You’ll find a way to lock her up behind a high-security prison for white-collar crimes if she ever breaks my heart.”

“Damn right, I will. Tell her not to forget it. I love her almost as much as you, but I’d burn the world for you.”

“I’ll be sure to remind her.” Maddy squeezes my elbow, giving me a watery but hopeful smile. “Dad, do you realize how much I want this for you, too?”

I side-eye her but don’t respond, silently letting her know this isn’t the conversation I want to have right now.

She squeezes the same spot on my elbow again. “I’m serious, Dad. I don’t want you to be alone.” At my mouth opening to defend myself, she continues, “And before you say you’re not alone and you have everything you need, including your precious horse-daughter, Kansas, I want you to really consider my words. I want someone beautiful and special to know how beautiful and special my dad is. How he has the most incredible heart in the world. I want you to find someone deserving of you.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat. And though I want to lighten the moment by ribbing her about being the sap she claims I am, I don’t, not wanting to overlook her sincerity.

Instead, I settle for something that takes the focus off me. “Today is about you. Don’t you dare think about your old pops right now.”

Maddy wipes the corner of her eye with the back of her hand. “I know it’s about me, but you’ve always made everything about me. You’ve done everything for me, Dad; given me the love of both . . .” She sniffles, trailing off, though we both know what she was going to say. “I just want to be on the other side one day, giving my dad away, too.”

I tap her hand on my elbow, not wanting to prolong this conversation. Thankfully, the music starts right then, and Brie’s nieces walk down the aisle, throwing flowers in each direction.

My gaze lands first on Brie, standing in front of a flowery wedding arbor, wearing a white, one-shoulder suit. Her face lights up as her eyes connect with her bride, her chest swelling with pride and affection.

As I walk my daughter down the aisle in what feels like a surreal moment in my life, my gaze once again searches for the woman it often searches for, especially as of late. I see her turned to the aisle, watching us before her golden-brown eyes collide with mine. Mine takes a detour down to her plump lips before they drag lower, to her exposed neck and shoulders, where miles of flawless tanned skin glows under the setting sun.

She’s wearing a strapless pink dress, and if I’ve ever thought she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, I’m changing my stance on that now.

She’s the only woman I’ve ever met.

Because anyone before her has literally turned to dust in my memories.

After giving Maddy a kiss on her cheek, I place her hand in Brie’s, and turn toward the front row to find my seat.

But right as I do, my gaze halts and my brows pinch as a man of perhaps thirty, with highlighted blonde tips in his otherwise dark hair, reaches for Kavi’s face. He gently tugs a small stray wildflower out of a ringlet of her hair in a move that’s so intimate and easy, it makes violence simmer in my blood. His hand lingers near her cheek, as if he’s contemplating caressing her jaw with his thumb before he thinks better of it, and hands the flower to her with a smile.

And here’s the kicker. She fucking smiles back—soft, shy, and appreciative—as if they’d just shared a familiar gesture.

Disconnecting from the man next to her, Kavi’s eyes climb back up to find me. Her smile vanishes when she follows my line of sight, apprehension and guilt thundering over her expression.

If she wasn’t able to read my thoughts before, I’m sure she can see them written all over my goddamn face now.

The asshole just wrote his own death sentence, and I’ll be happy to deliver.