Chapter 19
ASPEN
Holy fucking shit.
Sage is kissing me. After I think I came out to her and very heavily implied that I have feelings for her.
Is this really happening? The feel of her soft lips moving with mine seems very real.
The sweet way she tentatively licks in between them, like she’s asking for permission for more, is different from any of the kisses I remember us sharing.
Because this is different. There’s no alcohol to blame or give us courage. There’s no audience to put on a show for.
This is just us. Kissing for real, for the first time.
My best friend, my favorite person in the entire world, my dream girl is moving to straddle me as I open my mouth to let her deepen the kiss.
I thought she would be hurt that I’d lied for so long.
I worried she would be angry that I’d kissed her so many times without telling her the truth about how I felt.
I’ve imagined telling Sage a million times over the years, in a million different ways. But none of them ended like this.
I’d never dared to hope she might want me too.
I wrap my arms around her, pulling her closer to me.
I never want us to be apart again. I’m consumed by Sage.
All my senses are overwhelmed by the euphoria she’s inspiring in me.
I run one hand up her back as I move the other into her hair, gripping the soft strands tightly.
Her lavender coconut scent calms me like it always does.
The soft moan she lets out as I drag her bottom lip between my teeth is the most pornographic sound I’ve ever heard.
The taste of her on my lips is even more addicting than it was all those years ago, because this is finally real.
My thong is fucking soaked from how wet I already am.
I’ve never been more turned on in my life.
Sage is squirming in my lap, grinding down onto me.
I spread my legs apart, leaning back against the couch as we continue to make out, taking turns nipping and licking and sucking each other’s lips.
I arch my hips up toward her, seeking any friction I can to soothe the ache in my throbbing clit.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Oakley demands, the sound of his voice like a bucket of ice water being dumped over me with how surprised I am.
Sage scrambles off me but she doesn’t go far, still sitting right next to me on the couch. “Oh, hi! Sorry, we must not have heard you come in,” I say, in what I hope is a normal tone as I look between Oakley and Parker guiltily.
“No shit. I mean why the fuck were you two hooking up?” Oakley asks.
Sage is quiet next to me on the couch, and as I jump to stand, I notice a dazed expression on her face as she slowly lifts her fingertips to her lips.
I want to check in with her, see what she’s thinking after what we just did, but Oakley seems pissed, and I need Parker to help me calm him down before we do anything else.
I’d also love to not have an audience for that discussion.
So I rush over to Parker and grab his hand.
“I swear I didn’t initiate that,” I whisper.
I don’t want him to think I lied to him.
When he first agreed to our fake relationship, I never believed Sage would kiss me.
I need to know where her head is at right now.
If that was some sort of experiment or if I might actually have a shot at something real with her.
“Can you give us a few minutes to talk? Maybe fill Oakley in and then we’ll all sit down and figure out what’s going on? ” I suggest.
“Or,” Oakley cuts in loudly, “the four of us can stay right here and all talk together, because we just caught you fucking cheating on us. You can have all the time you want after we end things.”
I can’t hide my surprise at how upset he seems. I’ve always suspected he and Parker were into each other, and their kiss was full of a passion that can’t be faked.
I honestly hadn’t considered that Sage was just cheating on him by kissing me. And even if I had, I wouldn’t have expected him to be this angry about it. “You’ve seen us kiss before,” I remind him weakly, hoping he’ll think about his kiss with Parker and be more sympathetic to our situation.
“Okay, telling us that you’ve kissed before, or even kissing in front of us, is very different from us walking in on you two hooking up alone,” he insists, sounding more flustered now.
“Who knows how far you would have gone if we hadn’t walked in?
If you walked in on me with Parker’s dick in my mouth, wouldn’t you be upset? ” he demands.
That certainly gets a reaction out of Parker. I smirk at his shocked expression and shake my head to answer Oakley’s question.
The doorbell rings, saving Oakley from the awkward moment he and Parker are having.
“That must be the concierge with our food,” Sage says, still seeming like she’s lost in her own head as she gets up to answer the door. When she comes back with our dinner, I help her unload the takeout bags from one of our favorite local Mexican restaurants.
Oakley and Parker mutter amongst themselves as we do before Oakley grunts an agreement to whatever Parker’s suggesting. They sit down at the table, and Parker nods at me before tipping his head toward my room, so they must have agreed to let us talk.
“Sage, would you mind coming into my room for a few minutes? There are some things you should really know before we all sit down,” I say.
Sage nods, looking at Oakley apologetically before turning to follow me.
I close the door behind us, moving to sit on the edge of my bed, and sigh in relief when Sage sits down right next to me.
We both bend a leg up on the bed to face each other and sit here for a moment, staring.
I’m unsure what to say, where to begin, but when Sage opens her mouth, I realize I should be the one explaining myself first. “I’m a lesbian. If that wasn’t clear,” I blurt out.
She chuckles, and the bright smile lighting up her whole face as she looks at me has my heartrate soaring. “Yes, I figured that out,” she confirms. “Or at least that you’re attracted to women,” she adds.
“I’m so sorry that I never told you,” I rush to say, wanting to explain.
“I’m not sure why you kissed me today, after all this time, but I need to finally be honest. Sage, I’ve always liked you as more than a friend.
I tried to ignore those feelings, and then we kissed at that party, and I should have told you then, but I tried to tell myself that it was harmless, that the kissing was all I’d ever get—a gift for the girl who was pining after her straight best friend.
I told myself that I should enjoy it for what it was, meaningless fun, but I should have been honest with you. I’m so sorry.”
Sage looks heartbroken at my confession. “I’m so sorry I never realized—”
“Don’t you dare fucking apologize,” I interrupt. “I’m the only one who should be apologizing. I took advantage of you. I had feelings for you, and I should have told you that before I ever let you kiss me.”
But Sage just shakes her head, huge smile still in place.
“Yeah, you should have told me,” she agrees, and the knots in my gut twist even more, but I know I need to face whatever she says, however my confession makes her feel.
“Because then maybe I would have clued in sooner,” she teases, laughing as my mouth falls open in response.
“But, Aspen, I’m not mad,” she insists.“I consented to every single one of those kisses. I think I initiated them too. I might not have understood why I looked forward to those parties so much, or why I spent so much time wondering if I would get to kiss you… hoping… but I think maybe my feelings for you have always been there too. I just didn’t know how to analyze them properly,” she admits.
I forget how to breathe.
“But they were there,” Sage continues. “They are here. Aspen, I’ve always loved you, but I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time too.”
“Really?” I whisper, tears blurring my view of her perfect face as she nods, still beaming at me.
I can’t believe this is real. That Sage is really saying these words to me.
Where there were knots moments ago, it’s like they’ve all turned into butterflies and taken flight.
My heart is soaring right along with them.
I make a sound that’s somewhere between a laugh and a sob before I’m moving into her space, kneeling next to her on the bed so I can take her face in my hands and kiss her firmly, finally claiming her the way that I’ve always wanted to.
I need to feel her in my arms, to press my lips against hers and soak in the fact that my wildest dream is actually coming true.
Eventually we pull apart, and I know my smile is just as bright as hers as we stare into each other’s eyes. “I’m in love with you too, Sage. Always have been.”
Saying the words aloud is surreal. Having her stare back at me adoringly as I say them is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I feel invincible in this moment. Nothing else matters outside of the two of us and the fact that we’ve finally ended up here, together.
She bites her lower lip, looking up at me through her lashes as she asks, “What now?”
“I have no idea,” I admit. “I’ve never considered you might actually have feelings for me too.” I laugh again. Thinking about it for a moment, I attempt to steady my racing heart as I take a breath. I’m done hiding from this. “But if you’re open to it, I’d like for us to be together,” I say.
Sage is nodding before I even finish. “I want that too.”
I think I’m still in shock that any of this is happening.
I take her hand into mine, feeling grounded by her familiar touch as I try to remain logical.
“There are things we need to consider though, about publicly being a couple. My father still owns a huge portion of my company, and I’m concerned he will sabotage it if he finds out,” I say.
“Oh shit,” Sage breathes.
“That’s actually what Parker’s been trying to help me with,” I admit. “By publicly dating him, it’s preventing my parents from harassing me to move back to marry Arthur. Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to convince my father to sell his stake in the company.”
Sage considers that for a moment. “I don’t care if we’re the only people who know, I still want to be with you,” she says softly.
I swear my heart skips a beat.
“I’ve always been yours,” I tell her just as softly.