Chapter 9. Lex
The moment my tongue swiped over the tip of my finger, Lochran let out an unconscious groan, barely audible over the near deafening grumble of his stomach.
My succubus side roared to life inside me, thrumming with the intense desire to swipe everything off the table and to beg Lochran to feast on me instead of the pancakes.
The wanton voice inside my head said, Lift the sex ban, Lex! Listen to how hungry your mate is for you. Feed him. Feed yourself.
Another, quieter voice said, Remember what happened last time. Don’t rush into anything you might regret.
My head felt all over the place. There were just too many thoughts and emotions to deal with right now, but I was going to have to make a choice, and soon. Like it or not, I was responsible for summoning him. And if my mom were to be believed, even if the house hadn’t summoned him, I would have been fated to meet him anyway. Would I have thought differently if I had bumped into Lochran randomly at the bar instead of Chad that night?
I cast another glance at Lochran. He was intensely staring down at his plate, shoveling forkfuls of pancakes into his mouth as if being physically full might stop his stomachache. His head was tilted slightly as if he were trying to hide the scar that ran across his temple. A dusty flour handprint sat atop one pec, flexing with every deep breath.
Yes, I thought. I definitely would have taken him back to mine if I’d met him instead of Chad.
So why could I not bring myself to do it now?
Lochran’s knife and fork clattered on his empty plate just as his stomach rumbled again. He winced slightly as he glanced at my plate and asked, “Are you going to finish those?”
I realized that I hadn’t been eating while my internal voices warred with each other. His breakfast was delicious, and I had intended to eat it all, but the longing look on his face had me sliding my plate toward him.
“Thanks,” he said, his tone tight.
“I’m sorry, Lochran,” I whispered, half hoping he wouldn’t hear me.
“Sorry for what?” he asked through a mouthful of pancakes.
I let out a breath before replying. “I’m sorry that I accidentally summoned you. I’m sure I’m not what you were expecting, and I’m sorry that I’m just not in...” I bit my lip, struggling to find the words. “... not in the right headspace to... y’know... to feed you.”
“Number one, Lex, you don’t need to be sorry about the summoning. It was an accident, and what’s done is done.”
The house creaked in apology, and we both dutifully ignored it.
“And as for the feeding? You really don’t have to worry about that. I’m happy to take things as slowly as you want and to wait until the time is right. And if you decide that the time is never right, then that’s okay too.”
His stomach let out the loudest rumble yet, causing Lochran to hiss in pain, and Goddess damn it if it didn’t break my heart a little. It was nice of him to say it, but never feeding again definitely wouldn’t be okay for Lochran. I wondered how long sex demons could go without feeding.
“And if you don’t want me to stay, just give the word and I’ll find somewhere else to go.”
A door slammed in annoyance at Lochran’s suggestion of leaving, and I was surprised that simply asking him to leave hadn’t yet crossed my mind.
“Of course you can stay. It’s the least I can do seeing as I’m the reason you can’t go home,” I said. “Besides, I don’t think the house would let you leave.”
As if in agreement, the cups under the cupboard swayed on their hooks, clattering together. One clattered so enthusiastically that it shattered, the shards of ceramic disappearing before they hit the worktop.
“Thank you,” Lochran said, relief lacing his words. His broad shoulders flexed once before the tension left them. He took the final bite of pancakes and settled back into his chair.
From this angle, I could just about see the tip of his dick bulging in his sweatpants, threatening to push past the hem. My mouth instantly watered, heat pooling in my core. Lochran stiffened, his eyes defiantly not meeting mine as his nostrils widened, drawing in a deep breath.
Ah, shit. I guessed it didn’t have to be skin-to-skin contact to feed after all.
I felt my cheeks pinken. I wondered if he’d sensed me masturbating last night. As if sensing my embarrassment, Lochran said, “Sorry, Lex. I didn’t mean to... I know you weren’t offering...” he trailed off awkwardly.
“It’s okay,” I said. I mean, if I were starving and someone placed a donut under my nose, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from taking a bite. A thought occurred to me: I didn’t have to be his donut. Before the little voices in my head could protest, I blurted out, “You could feed off someone else if you wanted to.”
The moment it had passed my lips, I regretted saying it. The thought of someone else tracing their fingers over those broad shoulders made nausea rise in my stomach.
Lochran’s neck pulsed, his eyes darkening as he growled, “No.”
Something akin to pride swelled in my chest. He would rather starve than feed off anyone else. And, more importantly, I didn’t want him to feed off someone else.
I almost giggled at the absurdity of that realization.
Me. Lex. Who, up to a few hours ago, wanted nothing to do with summonings and mates, was becoming protective and possessive over an incubus. An incubus who, sexual innuendos aside, was prepared to starve himself rather than make me move at a pace I was uncomfortable with.
Maybe this summoned- mate thing wasn’t the curse I’d convinced myself it was.
Maybe, if we moved slowly enough, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to give it a shot. I mean, Lochran seemed to welcome the summoning, so my fear of coercing someone into a bond was abating.
If I could just work through whatever it was that had me reluctant to satisfy my succubus side, and if Lochran was still interested in me, then maybe this summoning might just be a good thing.