42. king
CHAPTER 42
KING
I THOUGHT WE WERE ON THE RIGHT TRACK
My brain resorted to autopilot. I could answer simple questions and get Jasmine’s birthday party ready, but the majority of my thoughts were stuck in the staff room, replaying events over and over again. They were etched that deeply in my brain.
Willow came on my thigh. Then, she disappeared.
That was all I could think about.
I unfolded the last of the tables with Ryan while the birthday party filled up. There were tons of little kids milling around and my mom’s book club friends. I weaved back and forth, hauling in more drinks, when Jasmine ran up to me.
"Can I have a soda?"
"How many sodas have you had today?" I replied, still not really paying attention. Still thinking about Willow.
Why did she run away? Why didn’t she come see me?
"It’s my birthday ."
I grunted. Still not paying attention.
"Why do you hate me?"
The endless replays in my head came to a halt, and I glanced at my little sister. What was she talking about? Even before my mom’s episodes started, before I started making good money, I’d been taking care of her.
"Why would you think that?"
"Because every time you come home, you’re mad. "
Oh.
From her perspective, I could see it. The only time I ever came home was for an emergency, and on the rare occasion when there wasn’t one, I tensed up anyway, waiting for something to happen.
"I’m not mad, Jazz. And I don't hate you. I couldn't hate you. I'm just…stressed."
"Maybe it’s because you always look mad. Is that why Willow didn’t come?"
Again with Willow.
Who ran out of the face paint event. Who was ignoring all my texts which were becoming more pathetic by the hour.
I sighed. "You can have another soda. But don’t let Boxer out."
Everybody at the party knew Boxer wasn’t allowed out of the house. He didn’t like strangers. He wouldn’t bite, but he was still ninety pounds, and could scare the shit out of somebody.
"Thank you!"
Jasmine raced to the house. There were more presents to grab from the living room, and after that, cake. All these things to juggle.
The side gate opened, and I didn’t have time to see who it was before Jasmine bumped open the door and Boxer came tearing out.
"Goddammit," I swore, sprinting after him. I went for his collar while the dog barked his head off. I should’ve grabbed the damn soda myself ? —
"Willow, Willow, Willow!" Jasmine belted out.
Willow?
I jerked over to see Coach Lawson walking through with Willow beside him, holding a long present in her arms.
Willow .
Her hair was fluffed out and her face glowed in the sun, sending my heart hammering in my chest. My mouth ran dry as a shock shot through me, pure electricity.
The startled look on her face was aimed at Boxer, who finally stopped barking.
I should’ve been paying attention, but I lurched forward when Boxer weaseled out of the collar.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I tried to haul him back, but the ninety-pound dog who roared at everyone on his morning walks shimmied his shoulders on his path to Willow. He pulled all the puppy tricks in the book like he wasn’t five years old. He even whined at her.
Dumbfounded, I stared.
"Hey, baby," Willow cooed, a little hesitant, and Boxer started doing his submissive circles, showing he wasn’t a threat.
I straightened up. "Boxer, heel."
He ignored me.
"Boxer. Heel. "
Jasmine took Willow by the hand and led her to the picnic table, Boxer following right behind them. I couldn’t believe it. By the shocked looks on my friends’ faces, neither could they. Piper had been secretly feeding Boxer pizza to get him to stop making a scene whenever Adam walked inside, and that didn’t even work.
"Hey, kid." Coach Lawson cleared his throat, taking his place next to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see him shift uncomfortably. "Can I talk to you?"
I tore my gaze from Willow and frowned.
"What did Willow say about Boston? I want to be in the know."
"Boston?" I repeated.
"Ah. Alright. She didn’t tell the girls either. Which—if I’m honest—I’m struggling to figure out if that’s a good or a bad thing. I just don’t know."
I stared, confused.
"Well, her dad went and got an agreement with the dean there. Free housing and free tuition." Coach rubbed his jaw. "I don’t know. I had the girls ask to see where her head’s at, but I don’t know."
Those words didn’t make sense.
They didn’t combine together, they weren’t supposed to shuffle in that order. What was he talking about?
"It’d be for fall semester," he added. "I don’t want to see her go. I thought we were on the right track here."
There was a dull ringing in my ears.
I muttered something unintelligible and walked away.
I should’ve said something, especially to Coach Lawson, but I had to put as much distance between myself and the party as I could. I picked up the pace until I found myself in the empty kitchen, frozen solid.
Willow’s leaving Marrs.
I should’ve thrown away trash or loaded the dishwasher, something that showed I had a reason for abandoning the party, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. My heart slammed in my chest and it felt like my rib cage was going to crack open any second. I gripped the underside of the sink, trying not to let panic hit me.
Count from five.
I couldn’t. I couldn’t even start.
The door to the kitchen opened. "I need to talk to you."
Angel .